Funny / Metro 2033

• While it’s definitely horrifying, Khan's explanation for why the ghosts exist is darkly hilarious: the nuclear war somehow blew up the afterlife. Whoops.
• This exchange:
  Commissar: ...The Party teaches that only the Communist way can show the true path through the tunnels...
  Soldier: Comrade Commissar, what does the party teach about the two-headed mutants that roam the Frontline?
  Commissar: Um... er...
  Soldier: Well, so much for the entertainment.
  Commissar: SILENCE!
  • In itself a reference to the same line in the book, although Artyom gets ignored when pitching it to religious nuts.
• A joke for those who are familiar with Russian slang: The series' fully automatic lead-hurling shotgun is called the Abzats, which literally translates to "paragraph" - but is also Russian slang for "Oh shit." Given how much damage this thing can deal up close, it's a very fitting name.
• Ulman dicking around on the intercom in D-6.
  "People of Metro! We have awaited your arrival! We are those who are called the Invisible Watchers. Your time has come. And now you will feel our wrath!"
• Artyom's Idle Animations have their moments.
  • The Bastard on its own has two examples:
    • He accidentally breaks off the fire selector after fidgeting with it. After a Beat where he's clearly thinking "Shit, that wasn't supposed to happen," he sticks it right back on.
    • He starts tossing it up. After a few times, the gun disappears. As he looks up, it crashes back down into his hands.
  • He pulls the Duplet's stock so hard it comes off. He's hasty to put it back on.
  • He shocks himself with the Universal Charger.
  • He plays the air guitar on the Kalash 2012.
  • He rings the bicycle bell on the Bigun.
  • He puts his finger in front of the hammer on the Ashot... which then closes on him, as he grunts in pain and pulls his finger out.
• This exchange.
  Guard: Face to the wall! This is an inspection.
  Comedian: C'mon, quit harassing me! I don't swing that way!
  Guard: Cut the bullshit! Prepare for inspection!
  Comedian: I'm always prepared for this! Doctor, could you check my prostate while you're at it? I'm pissing kinda funny, it's glowing, must be the radiation.
• Ulman as he and Artyom arrive at Polis; his response to a guard asking who they are.
  "Oooh, we're Nazis! Come to take your station!"
• During or after the fight in the Bandit station you can crawl through a large maze built of crates presumably hoping for loot. Instead you fond a bandit smoking a hookah full of Khan only knows what, so completely stoned he missed the massacre going on around him even if you went loud.
  • Artyom can also take a hit once the Bandit is dead which warps the screen and scrambles your controls for a bit.
• After you meet Khan for the first time in the game, you can look around the bandit leader's room and you'll find a teddy bear on his cot, right next to the head of a nosalis mounted on the wall. Just try to imagine that big tough bandit leader curled up on his cot, hugging his teddy and sucking his thumb while he sleeps.
• Bourbon has some funny moments, like when he's trying to open a gate and starts talking to it.
  "Open up, baby, and I promise I will come back and refurbish you. Also get you new paint."
• While crossing the front line between the Reds and Nazis, Artyom muses in a journal page that the two sides are not so different, especially in how they treat spies, so he can't let himself get captured. Literally less than a minute of gameplay later, he opens the wrong door and gets captured by a pair of Nazi mooks.
• If Artyom orders a drink at the bar in Market, the bartender - already visibly soused - staggers over and takes a long swig from a bottle before pouring Artyom a shot. He drinks again as Artyom does... and, still holding the bottle, falls over backwards with a crash, passing out behind the bar.