Funny / Meet Me in St. Louis

• After Alonzo has gotten out of the bath, the family are sitting at the dinner table waiting for him. They hear an offscreen crash from the ceiling, Grandpa remarks "The lord and master!" and there's additional crashes as Tootie fearfully says that she may have left one of her rollerskates on the stairs. Lonnie then appears, holding said skate, and apologising for his lateness because he had to take a ride on the way down. And before he sits down: "Tootie, remind me to spank you after dinner."
  Tootie: If I forget to remind Papa, you remind me.
  Agnes: (cheerfully) Alright.
• Grandpa talks about Alonzo's bachelor party...
  "He almost missed the wedding."
• Their attempts to have dinner an hour earlier, by lying that Katie has to go home to help out her arguing family.
  Alonzo: I see. And I suppose they'll stop fighting if I don't take a bath.
  Anna: Now she's been with us for ten years, and she never asks favors. We don't want to risk losing her.
  Esther: No, nowadays you can't get a maid for less than twelve dollars a month.
  Alonzo: I don't care if we have to pay a maid fifteen dollars a month! Dinner's at six-thirty, and if Katie wants to hand in her notice, she can reach me in the bathtub!
• Katie's snarking to Agnes.
  Agnes: Katie, where's my cat? Where is she?
  Katie: I don't know...a little while ago she got in my way so I kicked her down the cellar steps. I could hear her spine hit on every step!
  Agnes: [horrified] Oh! If you've killed her, I'll kill you! I'll stab you to death in your sleep and tie you to two wild horses 'til you're pulled apart!
  Katie: Oh, wouldn't that be terrible now? [pointing at a chair where the cat sits unharmed] There's your cat.
• Tootie prepares to pack all her dolls for New York. But she remarks it'll take a week to dig them up from the cemetery.
• Tootie's Establishing Character Moment, where she remarks that her doll won't live through the night.
  "She has four fatal diseases…"
  • Mr. Neely's response: "And it only takes one."
  • Their entire conversation is quite funny, for instance when they discuss whether "Louis" in "St. Louis" is pronounced "Louie" or "Lewis".
    Neely: Well, I've got a cousin that spells it the same way, and we call him "Louie".
    Tootie: He's not a city though, is he?
    Neely: No…
    Tootie: Is he a saint?
    Neely: [scoffing] Ha, no.
    • "Well, anyway, she's a grand old town." "It's not a town, Mr. Neely, it's a city — the only city with a world's fair. Wasn't I lucky to be born in my favorite city?"
• Katie and Esther's talk about the plan to have dinner earlier. Katie is uncomfortable lying to everyone.
  Esther: It's only a white lie.
  Katie: A lie is a lie, and being dressed in white don't help it.
  • Esther says that they have to do this for Rose because "She's not getting any younger", even though she's twenty-one. When they hear Rose coming home, Katie snarks "there's the poor Old Maid now."
• The family's discussion about not leaving St. Louis after all is interrupted by Warren Sheffield bursting in to declare he's had enough of him and Rose dancing around how they feel about each other.
  Warren: Rose Smith, we can't go on like this any longer! We're going to get married at the earliest opportunity and I don't want to hear any arguments! That's final. (he starts to leave but turns back and points to Rose) I LOVE YOU! Merry Christmas. (he leaves)
  Rose: Merry Christmas.
  Alonzo: Anna, who is that boy?!