Funny / Max Payne

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• This little gem from Part One, Chapter Two: "Live From the Crime Scene":
  Max: [over a phone] We come to you now live from the crime scene.
  Jim: Who is this?
  Max: Right back at you.
  Jim: This is Deputy Chief Jim Bravura from the NYPD. You are to cease your criminal activities and surrender immediately!
  Max: [surrounded by corpses he killed a minute ago] Sure thing, Jim. Me and the boys been talking, and everyone's REAL sorry. They'll never do it again.
  Jim: Who the hell is this?
  Max: [narrating] Being placed at the scene of a bank robbery wouldn't have tipped the odds in my favor.
• Max starts interrogating Vinnie Gognitti, much to his displeasure.
  Vinnie: Aghh! Police Brutality!
  Max: I rate pretty high on that.
  Vinnie: You… you can't just hurt me in cold blood.
  Max: Uh-huh. Just keep telling yourself that.
• When Vlad meets up with Max.
  Vlad: Bang! You're dead, Max Payne.
  Max: Whats this supposed to be, "Cops And Robbers"? Look, if you want something with me, get in line.
• When Max meets with Frankie Niagara.
  Frankie: Max Payne, I envy your name. Pleased to meet you. I'm Frankie "The Bat" Niagara.
  Max: Niagara, as in you cry a lot? [narrating] He had a baseball bat, and I was tied to a chair. Pissing him off was the smart thing to do.
• Two Mooks trying to disarm a bomb.
  Mook 1: Red, blue or green?
  Mook 2: It's always red or blue in the movies.
  Mook 1: So, green?
  Mook 2: NO, NOT THE GREEN—
  BOOM!
  • Right afterwards, going up to the door next to where the bomb was, finding it to be locked, and right afterwards the entire wall around it falling down into the next room, with only the door still standing.
• The many faces of Max Payne.
  Max: It wasn't pretty.
• "So what does B.B. stand for anyway? Backstabbing Bastard?"
• Towards the end of the game, the Big Bad apparently forgets that the microphone is live when talking to the goons you're slaughtering. Doubles as a moment of awesome, too:
  "What do you mean 'he's unstoppable'? You are superior to him in every way that counts. You are better trained, better equipped, and outnumber him at least twenty to one. Do. Your. Job."
• At two separate points you are confronted with an alarm in a bank and muzak in an elevator, both of which are pretty annoying to listen to. Shooting either of them will stop the noise and prompt Max to thank the player for it.
• There is this one time in the Roscoe Street Station level "One Way or the Other". You will have to use the "All Weapons" cheat for the PlayStation 2 version. Throwing a grenade in the hole where there are rats at the start of the level will cause some rats to show up later and actually pull out guns and start shooting at you, you can kill the rats and there will even be a closeup scene of one of the rats falling to the ground, just like when you kill a bad guy every now and then.
• Some of the Enemy Chatter throughout the game is downright hilarious. Notable examples include one conversation lampshading the game's Bullet Time mechanics and another where two Mooks discussing what they name their guns.
• Once Max catches Rico Muerte with his pants down, you can notice that aside from the goons that bust into the room from the corridor, there are a few thugs who are just standing in the same room with him. Apparently, Rico was very much fine with getting blown right in front of the other mafia members.
• During his trip to Cold Steel, Max witnesses two of the killer suits pull the Leave No Witnesses card on a commando. However, while one of them only shoots him a few times, the other completely empties his clip, reloads, and continues shooting.
  Killer Suit #1: [casually] I think he's dead alredy.

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