Funny / Louis C.K.

• Louis relays the tale of the saddest handjob in America, given to him by his wife.
  • The kicker comes near the end - he tries to tell her "Maybe if you lick your palm?", and she thinks he said "You look like your mom".
• When Louie and his wife finally split, he admonished the audience for their sympathy:
  "'Oh it's so sad you guys split up.' No it's not! It was a shitty marriage, so we ended it. If it was a great marriage, THEN that'd be sad! But that has happened zero times! Ray Charles has killed more Jews... than happy marriages have ended in divorce."
• His joke about 9/11 and masturbation is so beyond offensive that it becomes unspeakably hilarious.
• His routine on the schedule in Hell. Specifically, he worries that he won't know what to do once he gets there. He imagines a hypothetical scenario in which he blows the first demon who asks, only to be informed by management that he didn't have to.
  "You'd better pace yourself, man. I mean, you're down here forever. You're gonna blow a lot of demons, no need to start freelancing in the hallways."

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