Although set up as a very bleak
Tear Jerker of a movie,
Logan is not without its funny moments.
- Charles spitefully sticking his tongue out to show Logan proof he swallowed the pills, complete with childish "blehhh" noise.
- Pretty much any time Laura throws a childish tantrum. Well, any time it's not a Moment of Awesome.
- Laura rifles through a convenience store for food and a pair of sunglasses, opening and eating the food before buying it. When confronted by the clerk about this, she promptly throws him to the floor and pops her claws. Logan stops her from killing him and scolds her... before shoplifting a battery charger and a couple cigars.
- It's not even his typical "Wolverine rage" shouting, this is his dad voice.
- Laura is so fond of the sunglasses that she keeps them for much of the film.
◊ - Before Logan takes the cigars, he takes a moment to apologize to the poor guy, as he is the only character in the film who is attacked by Laura but doesn't deserve it. And then politely asks him where the chargers are. The man sheepishly points to them as Logan takes one plus a cigar and then drags Laura outside. Without paying for anything.
- Pierce scolding her like a misbehaving puppy when she drops a mook's head on the ground and reveals her claws.
- Similarly, Xander calling to X-24 when the latter is slaughtering some rednecks like an owner calling out to their dog when it's causing trouble.
- Xavier bitching about how Logan is running him and Laura ragged while on the run. Just having Professor Xavier again do a Precision F-Strike is hilarious.
Xavier: Two days on the road, only one meal and hardly any sleep. She's eleven, I'm
fucking 90.
Logan: That's 101 reasons to keep moving.
- Logan's reaction to X-23 opening a can of whoop-ass on Pierce and his mooks.
Logan: (subdued) Holy shit!
- Charles and Logan regarding Laura:
Charles: She can learn to be better.
Logan: Better than me?
Charles: Actually... yes.
- In the otherwise melancholic "Sunseeker", this gem manages to crop up.
- Laura riding on a coin-op horse, and popping her claws in anger when the time runs out and it stops. Logan catches her hand before she can take out her frustrations on the ride, and puts another coin in the machine.
- Logan wearing reading glasses. And Charles's comment, as well as Logan's "really?" expression to this line sells it:
- In frustration, Logan tells Charles to stop talking when he starts to talk about their past. Turns out what Charles really wanted to say is that he really, really needs to pee. Cue Logan awkwardly trying to help Charles to relieve himself in the gas station restroom, with Charles wailing that he can help himself all the while.
- When Laura finally talks. Logan is surprised... and then she starts going off in shrill, rapid Spanish until he finally yells at her to shut the fuck up. The fact they seem to understand each other while both are speaking different languages (with both of them swearing, nonetheless!) helps the hilarity. It gets even better: she switches to English and demands Logan finish taking her to Eden. When he refuses and begins venting about the comics being a load of bull, she punches him in the face. Twice.
Logan: (while restraining Laura's arm) Don't fucking hit me! Don't hit me!
- Logan at the beginning being extremely worried about any damage to his 2024 Chrysler limo due to his job as a driver and low funds, to the point he'll even take gunshots just to avoid them hitting the car.
- Then, in his berserker rage, Logan cuts off one of the hands of the carjacker who's holding a shotgun. Said shotgun promptly fires into the door panel.
- During the first encounter with Pierce afterwards, he dryly notes the condition of the limo.
Pierce: You know, you got some buckshot in your door.
- By the time they make it to the Vegas hotel, Logan has completely stopped caring and decides to just abandon the now completely fucked up ride and get a new one. The one thing he says to the parking guard is to tow it.
Logan: Hey. Hey, keep it out front. Alright?
- And shortly after, he's seen impounding it and giving it to a few junkies.
- A couple more just from Logan's fares:
- One is a group of plastered women holding a bachelorette party. The bride proceeds to flash him. Even more amusingly, Logan seems to enjoy it.
- We also see Logan driving what appears to be a group of frat boys in suits screaming "USA! USA!" Then we cut to an exterior shot of the limo and we see that Logan is indeed driving them into the States while they mockingly yell at Border Patrol.
- Logan helps out Will Munson by not only disarming some goons who are shaking him down for water, but shattering one of their guns over his knee. You can see Will in the background looking at this feat with an expression that screams, "Who the hell did we let in our home?"
- The first thing Logan says to the poachers, paraphrased: "Go play okie-dickhead somewhere else."
- After Logan and Laura make it to Eden, the other mutant children prank Logan in his sleep by trimming his beard into his signature muttonchop sideburns. He wakes up and is not amused as the children are all giggling.
Logan: (looks in mirror and turns back to kids) That's not funny!
- Though the circumstances behind it are tragic, the fact that Xavier is high off his ass for pretty much the entire movie is chuckle-worthy. The nonsense he spews in his first scene alone before getting injected is hilarious!note at least right up until "Who are you?"
Xavier: FRIENDS, I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU TODAY! It's not about what you do! It's not about your deeds! YOU can't live up to God's RULES! HE KNOWS THAT YOU CAN'T! IT'S OKAY, WE'RE IMPERFECT—
(bumps into Logan)
Xavier: ...make way, sir. I said MAKE WAY!!
(Logan doesn't move, as Charles turns to another direction and keeps wheeling around)
Xavier: THE NEW QUESALUPA FROM TACO BELL!!! Get it with CHICKEN! Get it with STEAK! And with the CHEESE baked right in the SHELL, IT'S THE NEXT BIG THING! GO NOW WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!
- "So, they was thinking [that the carjackers were killed by] either an escaped tiger or Freddy Krueger. But neither one of them can drive, one being fictional, the other one extinct."
- Pretty much any scene where the X-Men comics are brought up, especially when Wolverine finds the coordinates to Eden and says "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"
- Logan at one point introducing Xavier as his father, "Chuck."
- Several from Laura that pretty much every parent in the audience can relate to:
- What's the first thing Laura does when she, Logan, and Charles get on the elevator at the casino? Push all the floor buttons. When he restrains her, he's clearly putting in even more effort than when he was stopping her from killing that store clerk earlier.
- After escaping the hotel and making their way north in the used truck Logan bought, Laura starts playing with the power door locks. When Logan gets annoyed and tells her to knock it off, she not only keeps at it, but stares right at him, as if she's daring him to make her stop.
- Pierce's first meeting with Logan has him mocking and threatening him by revealing he knows Logan is taking care of Xavier somewhere in Mexico. Then when he leaves:
- While the discovery of the adamantium bullet is mainly tear-jerking in its implications, this line by Caliban pushes it well into the realm of Black Comedy:
Caliban: If you are planning to blow your brains out, could you wait 'till you're out on the high seas? I've just mopped these floors.
- Logan smashes a mug, and Caliban morosely mentions that it was his favourite mug.
- When Laura is eating dinner, it quickly becomes clear that she has absolutely no idea how normal people eat. She tries to take all the food she can instead of passing the serving bowl on, eats mashed potatoes with her hands, and when Logan gives her a fork, she holds it like a knife and uses it like a skewer, eating the food while it's still speared by the fork.
- When Logan and Charles are telling the Munsons about Charles' school, they both admit that Logan was a terrible student. Even Laura finds it funny.
- Especially as Charles just called it a 'special needs' school.
- After the sad scene of Xavier being buried, Mood Whiplash kicks in as the pickup truck refuses to start and Logan repeatedly bashes it in frustration with the shovel.
- When Logan gets out of the urgent care clinic Laura took him to, only to find that she stole a car to get him there:
- Logan comes to after passing out at Eden strapped to a stretcher being raised on a rope up a cliff. The instant he realizes this, he very quickly moves his limbs as close to his body as he can.
- Laura nonchalantly eating her cereal while Donald's men come and try and take her in. The look on her face really sells the moment.
- When Logan confronts the thugs at the beginning of the film, and explains that they're just going to strip the lugs because of the chrome plating, one of them gives him a sarcastic "Yeah?"
- After a rather tense face-off with Pierce, Laura throws a pipe at him off-screen and knocks him right out.
- Following this, in response to Caliban's question about what might happen if Pierce wakes up before he dumps him somewhere, Logan kicks him to make sure he's doubly knocked out.
- In a deleted scene where the heroes are pulled over for speeding, Logan tells Laura, "I need you to please try not to kill this lady, okay?"
- It's funny in a dark sense, but when Logan confronts Zander Rice at the end, Xander introduces himself by saying his father worked on the Weapon X project. Logan calls him "the asshole who put [adamantium] into me," and Rice confirms this. Logan then says he thinks he might have killed him, and Rice again sheepishly confirms this, looking almost embarrassed. Logan's body language and tone suggest he's genuinely trying to remember and can't think of the specifics, but he decides that all things considered, it's pretty good odds he did kill him.
- There's something darkly hilarious about Charles Xavier, the chief advocate for mutant/human rights, and who built a school and philosophy on the precepts of judging people by their character and not their appearance, raging at Logan about leaving him with "that fucking albino" (Caliban).
- Knight of Cerebus as he is, X-24 gets a brief comedic bit. During the final fight with Logan and Laura, he catches eye of Rictor telekinetically lifting up the armored truck he came in. 24 stops attacking completely, glancing around in confusion before just staring up at the floating truck with an expression that just says "the fuck am I looking at?". It was previously established that 24 has battle smarts against Wolvie and Laura, and absolutely nothing else; but it's a funny case of Irony to see that he wasn't even designed to comprehend other mutants' powersets.
- It's very minor and belongs in a chilling and terrifying scene, but as X-24 mutilates the Canewood ranchers, Rice continues trying to call him back...before finally saying to Pierce, "GET YOUR LILY-FACED ASS OVER HERE!". Compared to his rather clean language in every other scene he's in, including his apparently close partnership with Pierce shown in a later scene, it's actually chuckle-worthy when you pick up this line and the fact that Pierce barely reacts, implying he's used to it.
- The absolutely shit-awful luck the corrupt ranchers have in the film. When they shut off Will Munson's water, the head honcho pulls a shotgun on Logan and gets a broken nose for his troubles. And when they come back shortly thereafter to get even? They all get killed by X-24, in increasingly more undignified ways. Needless to say, it's not only funny but satisfying.
Meta
- An anecdote about Dafne Keen's on-set antics by Hugh Jackman in an interview with Empire brings us this gem:
In one intense scene, as Jackman recalled to us, Logan loses his temper at Laura. “I just yelled, ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP!’” Jackman says. “At the end of 40 minutes of this I went up to Maria, Dafne’s mum, and I said, ‘Maria, I’ve got an 11-year-old and I’m just really sorry.’ Maria said, ‘Aw, don’t worry, she just called you a cunt. In Spanish.’" - This video, which depicts Logan's fights against X-24 as a UFC-style match.
Announcer 1 (Craven): Let's check in on the corner of X-24 and see how they're doing.
Announcer 2 (Zak): His Cut-Man has definitely got a lot of work—
- From this Q&A session:
Question: Compared to the other times you've played him, what makes playing Professor X in Logan so special for you?
Sir Patrick Stewart: Oh, this is so easy. I get carried in his (Jackman's) arms for significant portions of the movie.
- One piece of viral marketing for the movie was Crushing Adamantium with Hydraulic Press on the Hydraulic Press Channel.
"Vat tha fock?"
