Funny / Just Shoot Me!

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• From the episode 'Two Girls For Every Boy':
  • When Finch tries to get the supermodel's passport renewed (which he can't do, because it's not HIS passport), and the clerk tells him:
  Clerk: If you were the President of the United States and this was a matter of national security, I still couldn't help you!
  Finch: Sir, if I get this passport renewed, I have a chance to make every man's dream come true!
  Clerk: Two women?!
  (Every man in the office looks up)
  Finch: Yeah.
  Clerk: Give me the papers, sir (begins stamping). Get this man through! (Finch grabs the papers and runs off amidst many encouraging pats on the back from the other men)
  • This kicks off a montage of Finch running around to get the various errands done, recruiting numerous different men to help once he explains his reasons—one particularly funny bit has him bumping into some menacing gang members who go from getting ready to beat him up to helping him paint an apartment.
  • The slow hand clap after Finch failed to get his threesome with Maya and a supermodel after trying so hard.
• Maya describing the story of King Lear, inspiring Dennis to go see it.
• The entirety of the "Lemon Wacky Hello" episode, but particularly this exchange:
  Jack: (having been confronted by a police officer, thinking it's about his accidental drug ingestion) Officer, the day a man can't enjoy a tasty treat from the Orient is the day I move to a cave and sleep on my own beard!
  Officer: ...I'm looking for Nina Van Horn.
  Jack: ...Take her away.
  • Also, throughout it all, Dennis has a bad trip. Which leads to this exchange as the officer leaves:
    Officer: You've got some strange folks here.
    Dennis: Tell me about it, and I have to work with them...(speaking on phone) Hi, I'd like Mongoose Rental, please? (crazy grin — to the police officer) They eat snakes.
• "I'm Charlton Heston. Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun."
• When Maya's puppeteer boyfriend uses his "Mr. Mayor" puppet to criticize her, she loses her temper and assaults the puppet on live TV. "You can't hurt me! The Mayor loooves it rough!"
• The way Finch says "Ooh, check out the boobies!" makes it sound like he's just...''you know''
• "Nina's Birthday" has Jack order Maya to get along better with Nina, and tell her that she needs to develop some people skills. Maya and Nina do end up bonding, and then go back to Maya's apartment, where Nina ends up sleeping with Maya's roommate Wally. The next day, Nina proudly tells the office that she spent the night with a man half her age, and she owes it all to Maya. This prompts the following lament from Jack:
  Jack: Maya, I said people skills, not pimping skills!
• At one point, when Jack is announcing birthdays on the P.A., just as he's about to reveal Nina's age, Nina runs into his office and destroys the P.A., then comes out like nothing happened.

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