Funny / Just Cause 3

• This bit from the Story Trailer, used in the game's opening:
  Tom Sheldon: What are you planning to do, son?
  Rico: Something... (lowers rocket launcher from overhead compartment) subtle.
• The dialogue between Mario and Rico in the Rebel Drop tutorial mission.
  Mario: I'm the equipment guy for the Rebellion! I bring weapons and vehicles for the rebels all over Medici!
  Rico: But why do you need this scooter?
  Mario: Well... you remember the little Cecilia Crespo, the one with the bad breath, they called her "Dracona"? This is her bike. Beauty, ah? She made fun of my hair, she said it was crispy, so we play a little prank on her, eh? And it benefits you and the Revolution to boot!
  Rico: And... h-how does stealing Cecilia's stupid scooter benefit me?
  Mario: Don't be slow, Rico - I take the bike, I break it apart, the guys use it to make more bikes, everyone gets bikes, everyone wins! Except for Dracona, she won't be happy - but that's the point.
  • In the same mission, Mario says Rico can deliver any vehicle to anywhere - before saying he could bring a boat to an airstrip! Except there are no airstrips where you could deliver anything to. Most aircraft are unlocked by military base takeovers, collectibles, missions and the few exceptions are either helicopters or the seaplan.
• The way Di Ravello just keeps talking over the commander shooting himself with the gun Di Ravello just handed to him in the background of the cutscene for "A Terrible Reaction" is so grotesquely nonchalantant that it can easily be funny. Of course, as described in Nightmare Fuel, it's also very disturbing if you give it half a thought.
  • In the same cutscene, the way Di Ravello orders a destruction of an entire town. He just sounds too cheery.
    Di Ravello: The town of Costa Del Porto... (pauses, then cheerily with a smile) burn it!
• An NPC might have this to say to Rico:
  Tourist NPC: Hey, I remember you from Panau! Quit ruining my vacations!
• Pretty much everything about the propaganda vans. Instead of Di Ravello's speeches, they pass on information to the public... like how prospective DRM members are required to bring their own ski mask. And if Rico hijacks one, it starts blaring the Mile High Club's beats at deafening volume.
  • The vans also yell at Rico if he gets on top of one, and they also have lines if they are damaged enough to be set on fire but still able to drive around.
• Whenever you bring a vehicle back to the garage, Alessia (the rebel's radio host) will comment on it. If you bring her the Stria Rustico, she sounds...concerned.
  Alessia: Rico?...That's a tractor.
• When you liberate a military base, the government-run news network chimes in to give some bizarre reason why the destruction was totally intentional on the government's part. Supposedly, the transmitter was interfering with people's TV, or mold was discovered in the silo vents, or the base was in the way of a planned water park, or evidence was discovered that exonerated ALL of the prisoners in an island prison. The broadcaster, a kidnapped celebrity (voiced by David friggin' Tennant), also starts making thinly-veiled insults at his captors. In fact after there are only a few bases left he just starts trying to tell the truth but it is made clear that he has to stick to the script at gun-point.
  Broadcaster: Isn't it great to have all these public works projects going on and have absolutely nothing being amiss?
  • After liberating Cava Geminos Est, the broadcaster doesn't have any explanation, simply stating in an annoyed voice that the base "is gone. Just gone."
  • After you liberate every base in the game, the broadcaster completely snaps as he realizes he's probably going to be stuck there forever.
    Broadcaster: Vive... no! Vive me! VIVE ME! ME, ME, ME! MEDICI CAN GO STUFF ITSELF!
  • Finally, there's the broadcaster's reaction to General Di Ravello's death, by barely containing his laughter at the government's excuse of the General taking some "me time", and that "if there's no body, there's no problem", before outright Laughing Mad at how "He's finally GONE!!!"
  Broadcaster: Vive Le General! ...If there IS a general! HA-HA-HAAAA!
• Of Cows and Wine. The mission notice (the call you get) is Mario saying he's desperately in trouble, causing Rico to rush over to him to save him... only for Rico to find a cow and a radio, with Mario pretending that he's been turned into a cow and the only way to turn back is for Rico to kiss him. To the delight of Mario and his buddies, Rico does it. It soon becomes very obvious that Mario is extremely drunk on Di Ravello's personal wine stock, with the assignment being Rico driving Mario and the booze to a party, being careful not to lose too many barrels. Doesn't sound too hard... except the Artificial Stupidity of the drivers is turned up to eleven with such delightful moments like a driver launching himself off a ramp, a bus crash and a flaming truck.
• The start of Turncoat is pretty funny, with Mario dancing to a radio blasting a funky tune. When Rico asks what the hell Mario is doing, he responds that he is "hiding in plain sight", and promptly asks if Rico likes his dancing. Rico suggests "popping more and locking less." After the cutscene concludes, Mario is still dancing to the radio. Running him over does sweet FA, and the only way to get him to stop is by blowing him up with mines, in which he will survive, and eventually go back to dancing, even if the radio is gone.
  • The Mondegreen of the song adds to the hilarity. "Does my does my heart pee grape?"
• In the Citate Di Ravello of the Regno province, there's a pogo stick atop one of the buildings you can ride.
• Some of Rico's one-liners are hilariously petty.
  Rico: Try to store fuel now, jerks. ^note  Said quip is a nod to a much beloved one-liner from the previous game: "Try transporting fuel now, pipeline jerks!"
• In "The Watcher on the Wall", Mario decides to take a wizz off the fortification wall that cordons off a major portion of Insula Striate, then proceeds to say how he always wanted to do that and how he already did that three times in total. Rico's response? "You've always dreamed big, Mario."
• At the end of "Missile Cowboy", Rico is riding atop a missile loaded with a Bavarium warhead, trying to stop it before it kills dozens of innocent people in Insula Fonte. As he tries to stop it, Di Ravello himself comes on over the Commlink and starts taunting him over how it's pointless to try and stop him. This leads Rico to get gradually angrier, until he explodes with...
  Rico: FUCK YOU, MISSILE!
  • Even better, that's the name of the achievement for completing the mission!
• If you tether yourself to an acetylene tank and shoot it, you'll ride it into the air like a rocket before it explodes.
• The Easter Egg "Doge Mode" causes colorful messages to appear as you shoot enemies: "MUCH LEAD" "SUCH LIBERATE" "SO FATALITY" "10/10 GAME OF THE YEAR" "HERO" "SO 2013 MEME".
• If a rebel sees you crash while using the wingsuit, you might hear "Make sure you still have all of your teeth, fratre!"
• Di Ravello's description of Rico as "a weak-minded child with a rope and a squirrel suit."
• In the mission "Friends Like These...", Mario and Rico have a short heart-to-heart, that ends with Rico cup-checking Mario then pushing him into the water. Mario then complains that he doesn't have insurance on his phone.
  Rico: Always cover yourself, amico!
• Near the end of the second act Rico suspects Sheldon is a spy for Di Ravello and tells Mario to feed Sheldon false information to see if Di Ravello takes the bait. In a flashback we see Mario do this by telling Sheldon they are going to attack a power plant without explaining, then walking away in slow motion, staring directly at the camera with an evil smile like he's a master spy.
  • Mario as a whole does a fantastic job as comic relief. As another example: “Rico, Mario Frigo is your man.” “Can you fly a helicopter?” “Mario Frigo is not your man.”
• The conversation just before the showdown with Di Ravello, where Rico and Mario wonder what they're going to do now that the war is over. Mario suggests going into business as car salesmen. And the tagline Rico comes up with for this hypothetical business? "Our prices are revolutionary."