Funny / Jaffa Factory

• Their ultimate goal in Tekkit? Build a Jaffa Cake factory, of course!
• Episode 3:
  *BOOM*
  Simon: I can hear explosions.
  Duncan: That was me, don't worry.
  Simon: Damn it, Fumblemore- oh, wait, no, shhhhh.
  • And in Episode 7:
  *Honeydew blew up*
  [...]
  Lewis: Where did you blow up? What were you doing at the time?
  Simon: I was just minding my own business, and then a creeper came up behind me, and blew up like this-[another creeper explodes behind Simon] OW, GODAAMIT!
• "Here's a line. All the land on this side is Sipsco, and everything over there is... Not-Co."
• Episode 6: Simon snoops around in Sjin's factory. So far, Sjin's fenced off the area and built a wooden shed with an iron door. Simon makes fun of the iron door, then spends the next minute or so trying to remember how to make a lever.
  • And when they finally break into the shed, what do they find? An alarm system. Which then goes off.
• The battle continues in Episode 8, when they use Applied Phlebotinum to make an infinite supply of dirt and cover Sjin's shed with it.
• There's also the contract Honeydew signed for Sips Co. To sum it up, the Yogscast has to advertize Sips Co.'s dirt and dirt-related products, to which they are allowed a very meager discount on. In addition, Simon only gets paid a low monthly wage. And the only month he can receive it is August.
  Simon: We're getting 12 pounds every episode.
  Duncan: Pretty good.
  Simon: But for a maximum of once a month.
  Duncan: Oh.
  Simon: And not on months that end in a "y".
  Lewis: It's not a great sponsorship deal.
  Simon: Or end in an "r". Or have an "r" in them.
  Lewis: It was quite an ironclad contract you signed.
  Simon: Or an "e".
• Episode 9: Simon's inept notice board; also "lightystone".
  • The Sips Co./ Honeydew Inc. rivalry continues, as Sjin tries to confront them about covering his shed in dirt in the previous episode and they pretend that they're not home. To which Sjin replies that he can see their names through the walls. Then after that Sjin gets attacked by a skeleton.
  • And as revenge for this attempt at litigation, they decide to build the Nether Portal that they were going to use to get Glowstone directly under Sjin's shed so that the noise the portal emits (Wub wub wub) will drive Sjin crazy. Which won't actually work, since in Sips and Sjin's videos he reveals the shed is just a distraction to keep them away from the real factory.
• Episode 10: More fun with corporate warefare! Upon returning from the Nether, they discover that Sjin has decided to turn all the fenced in land surrounding his shed into a dirt quarry for Sips Co. As they check out the new operation, they find out that Sjin is actually still on site, and he promptly chases them off for trespassing. Since Simon had been standing on top of the lit archway at the entrance when Shin told them to shoo, he simply moves backwards until he is on the light by only one pixel, and is mostly hovering in midair. He lawyers Sjin about this:
  Sjin: Get off my light! That's my light!
  Simon: I'm- Actually, I think you'll find that I am not on your property, I'm sort of hovering in the air on the edge of your property, so...
  (Sjin breaks the light Simon is standing on, causing Simon to fall off)
  Simon: ...Ow. Goddammit!
  • They then steal the light and surround the quarry with trees.
• Simon sleeping at the end of Episode 12
  Simon: *snores & smacks lips several times* mmm, Katy Perry, mmm.
• Episode 13 features Simon going power mad. That is all.
• Sips' entrance in Episode 14.
• Episode 15. Lewis is busy explaining to Sips how he has managed to make sure that only pure dirt is being pumped up from the quarry now. Cue a rogue piece of stone coming up the pipe. Lewis tries to quickly end the conversation and then moves himself to block Sips view of the pipe.
  • Another moment follows shortly after with sips seeing a piece of stone in the pipe. Lewis quickly rectifies the situation, and then becomes astounded at the sight of totally random crap appearing in the tube, Including a mushroom, a bucket and even what looks like nether wart.
• In Episode 16, Duncan and Simon spot Sips running around in the woods behind their factory and immediately wonder what sort of devious plan he's up to. Meanwhile, at the same time over where Lewis & Sips are...
  Sips: I'm going to go frolick in the woods without my shoes or socks on.
• Oh so many in Episode 17. Here are some highlights:
  • Lewis & Sips plan to steal materials from Simon and Duncan's work shed. While Sips is on stakeout, he notices some white powder being pumped into Simon's chests and immediately wonders if it's cocaine.
  Sips: Is that what makes the cookies so good?
  • Sips turns out to be a different kind of crazy boss than Simon, but still crazy.
  Sips: They call me the Problem Solver back at HQ. Always solvin' problems! (Beat) Even though... there's nobody at the HQ, it's just me. It, it gets lonely. I'm the only guy there, so, I have to invent stories and talk to myself. Do you, uh, do you ever do that kind of stuff?
  Lewis: Um, no, I'm usually... usually good. Okay, well basically Sips-
  Sips: The last Christmas party was a disaster. It was just me. When I stood up to do the toast... it was only me clapping.
  excruciatingly long, awkward pause
  Sips: So, uh... how 'bout that dirt?
  • When Duncan heads back to the shed, he notices materials missing from their chests and suspects that Lewis has been stealing from them, so they decide to set up an alarm system. Then Duncan & Simon realize neither of them know how to make an alarm. So they steal Sips's. And don't get caught.
    • Made even funnier when we see that they set up the alarm system in front of the door. Lewis was breaking in through the trapdoor.
    • Later on when Lewis gets fired from Sips Co. and goes back to work for Simon, both of them deny stealing from each other.
  • Near the end of the episode, Duncan notices Sips holing a sapphire sword, which Lewis is missing. After they confront Sips about it, he accuses them of stealing the alarm. When Simon denies stealing it, Sips angrily starts beating everyone with dirt.
  • A few minutes later, all issues have been resolved, Lewis gets his sword back, and Simon asks if Sips will teach him how to dirt box. Sips happily agrees, and uses Sjin as a punching bag. Everyone else pulls out dirt and start beating the living snot out of Sjin, before he gets knocked into the quarry. Duncan then knocks everyone else into the quarry, jumps into it himself, then everyone has a free-for-all.
  • After that commotion, the Honeydew team decide to leave the quarry with dignity. When they get back to shed, the alarm's been stolen. Again.
• Episode 18's infamous quarry incident must be seen to be believed.
  • It's Simon's insane laugher what seals the deal.
• Episode 19: The gang find out Sjin has started his own independent dirt manufacturing company, and right next to it he has built a statue of himself. Duncan wastes no time adding a gigantic penis to the statue.
  • ...And then Sjin builds a rather terrible (especially considering what an amazing builder he is) pool area for children and OAPs, and uses the statue's penis to transport water to fill up the pool.
  • ...And has open electric wires touching the water.
• Episode 23: Lewis finds a pig on a small island next to an oil deposit. Lewis thoughtlessly kills the pig, & Sjin asks him if it was an endangered species. Lewis said the pig did have a derpy look to it that other pig's didn't have, and they both mourn killing off the last of the Lesser Spotted Derpy Pig.
• When Lewis and Sjin show Simon their Oil Island, they start working on building an underground tunnel beneath the ocean to pipe the fuel back to Honeydew Inc. Simon is given a Destruction Catalyst to dig the tunnel, and in the span of a few minutes, manages to screw up three times:
  • First, without knowing what the catalyst does, he right-clicks and destroys half of the oil and water tanks, including the oil and water inside.
  • Second, when he starts digging the tunnel, he uses the catalyst too high up and the tunnel fills with water.
  • Third, when told to dig deeper so he could go beneath the water, he uses the catalyst rather than a pickaxe to go deeper, creating a giant hole.
  Lewis: You are ruining my life.
  • And then, he screws up a fourth time a while later. He's finished tunneling to Honeydew Inc, and Lewis tells him to use the catalyst straight up. He does so...while he's beneath where Sjin is standing. This causes Sjin to fall to his death with no warning whatsoever.
    • There's even an action replay from Lewis's and Sjin's perspectives directly after.
• Episode 29: Lewis renovates the factory and goes on an underground tour with Simon and Sjin. After finding the tunnel that Sjin used to escape from the bottom of the oil well on Oil Island, they all decide to go there in a fit of nostalgia... Only to find that all their combustion engines exploded and the island is now a massive crater.
  Lewis: Well this sort of explains why the fuel stopped flowing...
• Simon attempts to 'breed' some flowers.
  Simon: Okay you two, come on, start making out...
• Part 34 opens up with them discovering a mining robot tunneled through their workshop and cafe. It also mined the beds, except for Simon's.
  • Sjin tries to use a computer.
  Sjin: Initiate extreme dirt harvesting protocol
  Computer: No such program
  Sjin: Yes there is
  Computer: No such program
  Sjin: Stupid computer
  Computer: No such program
  • Simon tries to visit Redtube on one of Sjin's computers.
• Lewis tries to quietly steal one of Sjin's mining robots without being seen... then turns and sees Sjin looking directly at him as he does so.
• Sjin goes into one of the condensers and briefly tries making a load of rotten flesh- with at least five stacks of glass inside.
• In part 38, Simon goes insane in his attempts to return pigs to Pig Island. The funniest moment is when he leaps over Sips' desk, demanding dirt.
• At one point, it's revealed that the mining robots have a dance function. It is just as hilarious as it sounds.
  Preparing to get down...
  Press any key to stop the groove
• Simon finds a mining turtle in part 40 while shearing sheep. The following typing ensues as he tries to run it.
  Simon: hello how are you i am well
  Turtle: No such program
  Simon: run gw2.exe
  Turtle: No such program
  Simon: dammit
  Turtle: No such program
• A few episodes back, Duncan made a flying ring for himself. Lewis tries to make one for himself too, so he condenses a whole bunch of chickens to harvest feathers from them. Of course, since they're all baby chickens first, he has to wait a while before he can kill them, so now they have a whole crapload of baby chickens running around in their factory.
  • A few episodes later, the chickens are still in the factory, and some have somehow made it to the third floor of their factory. Who knew chickens could fly so high?
  • Probably in the same episode, Lewis later happens upon a whole nest of chickens trapped in a bat box. Lewis and Duncan dub it their "nest".
  • Chickens turn up everywhere for a long while afterward.
• Episode 45 had Sips feeding bullshit so ridiculous, you can't believe that Simon is believing it. For one, they claim that they came in on a hovercraft, a hovercraft that transformed into Optimus Prime.
  • And then at the end Simon tries to return the favor, but is a terrible liar. And then half way through he gets even more of a stutter, not because he's having trouble telling lies with a straight face, but because he's just noticed all the while there is a creeper slowly getting closer and closer to Sips, behind him. Simon promptly backs off before the inevitable explosion
• Episode 46 opens with Simon getting jumped by creepers. Some gags just never get old.
  • And then later in the episode, Lewis defending his wall of machinery against Duncan.
  Lewis: We're doing the wall! The wall...is awesome! Don't mess with the wall!
• In Episode 48, Simon finds himself summoned by a mysterious voice to a cavern underneath their workshop. Going down, he finds a giant Sjin-shaped talking head. Obviously voiced by a intentionally poorly-disguised Sjin . Simon can't keep his composure for long.
• Lewis's unexpected snarkiness in episode 50 when he and Duncan look over at Pig Island, where Sips, Sjin, and Simon are working:
  Duncan: All I can see is frames...
  Lewis: Yeah, I see three frames and three idiots.
• Episode 52 is Duncan vs Head. Lewis and Duncan find the giant Sjin head under the bed and crack up. Then they start mucking about with it, laughing all the way. As for the encounter with the head, Duncan mines his way through the head's mustache despite it telling him to stop , leading to Duncan, Simon, and Lewis all cracking up more when they find Sjin operating it. Sips comes in later, and he can't stop himself from laughing either.
• When the combustion engines blow up the Honeydew Inc. basement floor, Lewis remarks how the result is a "lame jumping puzzle". Duncan then chimes in how it's even more lame for him, since he can fly. It's funnier seen than explained.
• Simon taking control of the giant Sjin head to get revenge on Sips by forcing him to give the gold armor back and work with the crew of Jaffa Factory.
• In episode 57, Duncan, The Smart Guy of Honeydew Inc., doesn't know how to read a clock in Minecraft.
• In Episode 58, A tangent from Sips winds up causing Simon revealing an Accidental Innuendo that Lewis cut earlier; "Come into my pig." This causes everyone present to burst into hilarious laughter.
• Five minutes into episode 63, you understand why the episode's titled "Good Gyrations".
  • Also from earlier that episode:
  Simon: Terra wart. It looks—um, I'm going to be honest, what do you think Sips? Would you eat this? In my hand?
  Sips: Um, I mean—if someone was holding a gun to my head? (Beat) No. No, I probably still wouldn't eat it. I would just say, "Just pull the trigger. Get it over with."
• Episode 65; Lewis, Sjin, and Duncan go over the various things they'd need for their cake assembly. Then, after that...
  Lewis: So where do we start?
  Sjin and Duncan: Uhh...
• Sjin and Simon building a hot tub in the factory's penthouse leads to several moments of hilarity. First they need to build down into the floor below, which Lewis complains is where the computer systems are supposed to go. This gives Simon the idea of using the computer servers to heat the tub. When they actually get to filling the tub with water and lava, they fill it from beneath. Finally, Simon starts laying down a series of ridiculously strict rules, ultimately leading to nobody being allowed in the hot tub.
• Episode 68: While makings plans for what to do this episode, the group splits into the standard Lewis/Sjin and Duncan/Simon. However, this leaves Sips out, after which Lewis suggests they fight over him. They do, except they're fighting to not have Sips join their group, and go with the other group instead.
• The ending of episode 76. The guys spend about two minutes laughing themselves silly over Simon building a belt on a Santa statue, below the Santa's butt. Lewis sounds like he's crying with laughter.
  Sips: WHY IS THE BELT BELOW HIS ASS? WHY?!
  • Earlier in the same episode, Sjin asks Sips where he left the saw, but, being English, his pronunciation of the word "saw" sounds a lot like "sore." And suddenly everyone's making jokes about Sips having some sort of STD. Gets a callback later on when Duncan suggests that "topical magma cream" might cure the sore.
  • That magma cream comment gets followed up on once the Yogscast Laugh Themselves Sick at the belt mishap, courtesy of Lewis.
  Lewis: It looks like he's bending over to apply the magma cream!
• Simon's completed Santa must be seen to be believed.
  Duncan: He looks like Jimmy Savile.
  Simon: Oh no! Noooo! Oh god!
• Episode 79; the guys are talking about Skyrim...
  Sjin: I used to play Skyrim, until I, uh...
  Simon: Oh, don't even! Don't even! Do! Not! Even!
  Sjin: Until I-
  Simon: No!
  Sjin: ...uninstalled it.
  Simon: Nuh-oh. Okay. That's better.
  Sjin: Now I've got a...
  Simon: I wondered where you were going with that...but that's fine. Oh, I would've been so angry...
  Sjin: ARROW IN THE KNEE!
  Simon: NO!
  (everyone laughs)
  Simon: (calmly) Screw you. Screw you.
• Lewis, Sips, and Sjin finally make some jaffa cakes after 82 episodes of preparation. Sips ends up eating the first one.
• Episode 92 has a noticeable delay between cake production and jaffa production, causing Simon to briefly panic. He's also trolled with lightning. And then there's the prison they build for a hapless cow...
• Episode 104: It starts raining in the jungle Sjin and Duncan are in, so they sing..."Under the Sea".
• In episode 108 Lewis has Sjin helping him build a Gene pool. once finished, he demonstrates it's ability to liquify bees, and Sjin starts to become somewhat distressed. in episode 109 Lewis manages to convince him it's neccessary due to their bee overload, and he is somewhat reassured. Lewis then wonders whether or not you could hear the bees scream if you listen carefully, causing Sjin to immediately go back to disagreeing with the whole thing.
  • And then Lewis proceeded to call himself Bee Hitler.

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