Tony's response for being called as "Da Vinci of our time"?
"Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint."
Before that, when Everhart had just arrived to interview Tony, Tony didn't look at her before Happy Hogan told him "She's cute". It looks like it's already Hogan's duty to check up on an unknown or new girl who chases Tony for anything so Tony can decide whether he would greet the girl or not.
Discussing Pepper's birthday:
Tony: I don't like it when you have plans. Pepper: I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday. Tony: Your birthday? Pepper: Yes. Tony: I knew that... already? Pepper: Yeah, it's strange, isn't it? It's just the same day as last year.
Just the shear abrupt awkwardness of the entire intro. A slow fade into a heat-warped low shot of the desert landscape with a convoy of Humvee's rolling in the distance... Then suddenly a closer cut to the convoy along with the iconic first note of AC/DC's Back In Black, followed by a cut to the inside of the "Funvee" showig that the music is coming from a stereo, a shot of the liquor glass in Tony's hand, and some awkward looks from the nervous airmen, before Tony finally breaks the uncomfortable silence.
Tony: [After a long silence and seeing the airmen's looks] I feel like you're driving me to a court marshal! This is crazy, what'd I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, are you not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest. "Forrest": We can talk, sir. Tony: Oh, so it's personal then? Female Airman: No, you intimidate them. Tony: Good God, you're a woman! I honestly couldn't have called that.
Before all hell breaks loose, Tony's conversation with the airmen in the Jeep.
"I don't want to see this on your MySpace Page. Please, no gang signs... No, throw it up, I'm kidding." "Yeah peace, I love peace! I'd be out of a job with peace..."
Also at the beginning:
Soldier: Is it true that you went twelve-for-twelve with last year's Maxim cover models? Tony: That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.
When the unit he's transported by is wiped out and Tony has to survive all hell breaking loose briefly, a missile slams into the ground next to him with a delayed detonation charge. One of his own Stark Industries missiles. Tony's responding expression is a swift mix of You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! and Oh, Crap! before he tries to dive away from the subsequent explosion.
Also also at the beginning:
Tony: I'm sorry, this is the Funvee. The Humdrumvee is over there.
The Brick Joke is that when Tony is reunited with Rhodey, haggard, injured and near complete exhaustion, Rhodey's first words are, "How was the funvee?"
Given how close the two are, and that this is exactly the kind of thing Tony would say in the situation, he chuckles, finding it Actually Pretty Funny.
During Tony's escape from the Afghanistan caves, he gets his gauntlet jammed in a rock face when trying to take out a soldier. Another one sees an opportunity for a Boom, Headshot!. He walks right up beside Tony for point blank aiming and... the bullet ricochets off Tony's helmet, and back intothe gunman's head.
Just before the escape some of the guards demand to know what Tony and Yinsen are doing. Despite the tense situation, or perhaps because of it, this exchange stands out.
Tony:[hears the guards yelling] Say something! Yinsen: He's speaking Hungarian. I don't know Hungarian!
And the best is that not only is the guard actually yelling in (grammatically incorrect) Hungarian, but in the movie's Hungarian dub, the guard is speaking Polish instead!
One part in his escape, the terrorists barricade the door leaving one of their men behind. Said man is screaming and knocking and begging to be let out as Tony advances on him slowly.
Tony's escape ends with him literally rocketing out of the exploding terrorist camp, only for the rocket boots to crap out mid-flight. He survives the landing unharmed, and is left half-buried in the sand.
Tony:[dazed and shaking off pieces of the suit] Not bad.
Pepper talking with the reporter who Tony slept with and subsequently dumped.
Pepper: I actually don't think that you could tie your shoes without me. Tony: I'd make it a week. Pepper: Oh really? What's your social security number? [long pause] Tony: ...five.
As Tony enters the first press conference, Obadiah Stane asks him if he has another cheeseburger, since he wanted it to look like he was glad Tony was back, just for the camera's sake. Even funnier, Tony says it's his last one, then pulls another out of his suit pocket and starts munching. He even eats it during said press conference.
The simple fact that the first thing he wanted upon returning was "an American cheeseburger". He also wanted to hold a press conference, but "cheeseburger first".
Tony's various attempts at learning how to work his suit.
He starts off with foot thrusters at 10% capacity, which causes him to blast off like he'd been shot out of a cannon, then slamming into the ceiling of his garage. Then he gets doused in fire extinguisher by Dum-E.
Tony: Okay, let's start things off nice and easy, see if 10 percent thrust capacity achieves lift. In three... two... one... [WHAM!]
Then there's the bit just after that where he's designing the stabilizers.
Pepper: I thought you said you were done making weapons. Tony: It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless.. [The stabilizer shoots a blast of energy that knocks him onto his back] Tony:[off-screen] I didn't expect that.
Before starting the tests with the stabilizers, he chews out Dum-E.
Tony: If you douse me again and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college.
Dum-E drops his "head" as if acknowledging that this would be a Fate Worse than Death for him.
The test with 1% power to the stabilizers goes off without a hitch, while Dum-E follows Tony's movement. He's not too satisfied.
Flying with stabilizers (and the thrust capacity at 2.5%) goes a lot better than during the first test, but still not exactly well. Tony can barely control his movements, leading him to drift out of the testing area, nearly crashing into his own car(s) and sending papers flying everywhere as he hovers over his desk. All the while making increasingly panicked noises.
Tony: Okay, this is where I don't wanna be!
When he sees Dum-E gearing up to spray him again after he lands, he responds exactly like a parent seeing their toddler trying to stick an insect in their mouth.
Tony: NO, AH AH AH AH!
Tony in the Mark II suit turning off the repulsors, then falling through the roof, piano, and one of his cars. Cue Dum-E dousing him with fire extinguisher. After a moment of stillness, Tony slowly lets his head fall back, as if wondering what to do about this and then deciding to just let it happen.
The great unsung comedy moment of the movie, due entirely to Robert Downey Jr.'s brilliant deadpan delivery:
Party Girl: Hey, Tony, remember me? Tony: Sure don't.
The best part is that he doesn't even stop walking or turn to look at her as he says it.
When Tony shows up at the party and he thinks he sees Hugh Hefner and pats him on the back, only for "Hef" to turn around and be Stan Lee.
And when Pepper walks in and asks, all of the machines who've been helping peel Tony out of the armor abruptly stop moving as if saying "Oh shit, we've been found out!"
Better yet, the dialogue between Tony and JARVIS while they're trying (off-screen) to remove the former's suit.
JARVIS: Well, it is a tight fit, sir... Tony: Ow! JARVIS: Sir, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt. Tony: Be gentle, this is my first time.
Much of the flight to the upper atmosphere is filled with dramatic updates from JARVIS about the suit's remaining power supply, to which Tony basically tells him to shut up since he's being a Captain Obvious. When JARVIS finally chimes in "2%" after the *clonk* above, he sounds like a little kid scared that his dad is gonna yell at him.
A brief moment during the final fight scene. Tony's just started getting out of his suit, thinking that he's won and he can take it off, when Stane appears behind him. He turns and lifts his hand to deliver a repulsor blast... only to find that he's already taken the armored glove off of it and his hand is bare. He actually turns his palm to stare incredulously at it for a second before getting slammed in the face.
"TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!" "Well, I'm sorry... I'm not Tony Stark."
YouTuber #1: His tie jumped when he started yelling. YouTuber #2: The tie was in his way and paid the price.
Some fanons tend to change the scientist's response to a Comically Missing the Point variant: "Well, I'm sorry, I don't have a cave with a box of scraps."
The scientist is also Ralphie from A Christmas Story. Also funny is that Peter Billingsley very clearly has a full head of hair and is sporting an obvious, partially-buzzed scalp to give the appearance of a receded hairline. Apparently, it was really important that his character be balding.
What makes this infinitely better is that the scientist returns in a pivotal role for Spider-Man: Far From Home, meaning that this guy is the only character to have appeared in the very first film of the MCU, and then got Put on a Busall the way until the very end of the Infinity Saga. There's a Brick Joke, and then there's a Brick Character!
Whiplash 1, the magnificently deadpan F-22 pilot.
Whiplash 1: Ballroom, this is Whiplash 1, I've got the bogey in my sights.
The little exchange between Coulson and Pepper while they infiltrate Sector 16.
Pepper: Oh, what is that, some kind of device to pick the lock? Coulson: You might want to step back...
Pepper then turns around and covers her ears in expectation of a huge bang, only for the lock to blow in a small "poof."
Also before that, when he took the device from his teammates, Coulson does it without even looking at said teammate or any other guys there as if to show they're already used to doing this. After that, Coulson and other agents turn their back from the door while waiting for the device to "explode". During that time, their expressions are just like... they usually are.
A dying Tony has just failed to grab the prototype Arc Reactor that Pepper saved and had monogrammed, and is lying there, beaten... until Dum-E casually lowers it into frame. Doubles as a CMOH.
Tony: Good boy...
The scene where Pepper swaps out Tony's Arc Reactor for the upgraded model. Particularly this line:
Throughout the scene, it's unclear whether Tony is being dissonantly calm or just sarcastic as usual. On the other hand, Pepper just panicked throughout most of the scene.
Towards the climax of the film, Tony in his armor rushes to where Pepper is, since Obadiah is there and is about to start wreaking havoc. Rhodey, left behind, looks at a spare armor for an instant and considers taking it into battle himself.
Rhodey: Next time, baby.
Tony suggests excusing the collision between the Iron Man suit and an aircraft as a training exercise.
Tony: Training exercise. Isn't that the usual B.S.? Rhodey: It's not that simple. [Gilligan Cut] An unfortunate training exercise involving an F-22 Raptor occurred yesterday. I am pleased to report that the pilot was not injured...
At the end of the film, just before the press conference, Tony and Pepper finally talk about their Almost Kiss at the party. Pepper at first seems bashful about it, making sure that he's talking about the night where they danced and went up on the roof and he went to get her a drink... and never came back, leaving her up there alone. Especially funny is how the swelling romantic music just immediately stops cold.
Pepper: Is that the night you're talking about? Tony: (sheepish) Mm-hm.
During the press conference at the end, when Tony admits that he is Iron Man, every reporter in attendance gets up and starts asking him questions... with the conspicuous exception of Christine Everhart, the one who mocked his cover story as he was telling it, who just sits there with an I Knew It! expression on her face.
