Funny / In Another World With My Smartphone Abridged

• When Toya rises up to the realm of heaven, only to find out that it's completely broke.
  God: Oh, well there’s much more to heaven than this five by five platform. For instance, there are way more clouds. And harps! Harps like you wouldn’t believe. Would you like a harp?
  Toya: I would love a harp!
  God: Oh. They’re in storage.
• One would say that God of all people would be well accustomed to telling his visitors that they're dead. It serves as Foreshadowing to how exactly Toya died.
  God: I’m sorry… but you are somewhere between MODERATELY and absolutely... completely... dead.
• While it's later revealed to be a façade, Toya's jarringly optimistic demeanor when talking to God is something that seems straight out of The Book of Mormon. For instance, this is his reaction to God telling him that he killed him with lightning for no reason.
  Toya: It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes. After all, to err is human. Oh, I made a joke, I’m such a goober.
• The fact that God killed the guy who would have gone on to cure cancer while he was on the toilet.
  God: [after Toya makes a jarring Incredibly Lame Pun about his demise] Ehh… Heh. I should have made you a comedian instead of… [pulls out a notepad and reads from it] Oh boy, the guy that cures cancer, okay.
  • And then we hear his justifications.
    God: IT WAS FUNNY!!! You see? This is why you weren't a comedian!
    Toya: Or the guy who cures cancer!
• When Toya explains his motivations, God lets out a wheeze akin to a balloon deflating, courtesy of BuddyVA's vocal chords.
• Faked or not, Toya's entire phone call with Satan is hilarious to see, with God's reaction being the crowner.
  Toya: Put a pin in that, Bubby, I gotta make a call.
  God: ...Bubby?? Wait, who are you calling, YOU’RE DEAD!
  Toya: Lucy! Heyyy!
  God: Luc- ARE YOU CALLING SATAN?
  Toya: His friends call him Lucy.
  God: HOW DO YOU HAVE HIS NUMBER?! I— I DON’T EVEN HAVE THAT NUMBER!! You’re bluffing!
  Toya: How is Damien?
  God: There is no Damien. Nuh uh.
  Toya: Pre-School already? They grow up so fast.
  God: You’re 15! You can’t relate to that! Bluff I say!!
  Toya: Hmm? Oh yeah, that’s just God in the background… Yeah, I’ll tell him you said that. SPEAKING OF, turns out I’m dead! Yeah, yeah, I know. Guess how, It’s a great story.
  God: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, Just… Hang up the phone.
  Toya: Alright, sorry, gotta go, Lucy. Great catchin’ up, though. We gotta talk more often. KISSES. Mwah!
  God: Don’t you kiss Satan! Don’t you kiss phone Satan in front of me!
• Toya is a hard man to please.
  God: ...So I can’t make you God. But I can give you the next best thing. How does this grab ya?
  Toya: I’m listening.
  God: I can’t send you back to your world.
  Toya: Losing me...
  God: but I CAN send you to another world. A BETTER world!!
  Toya: Hmmmm…
  God: With magic and adventure! And uh uh YOUR SMARTPHONE?!
  Toya: Ehhhh, I mean it’s kinda old…
  God: A NEW SMARTPHONE! A future Smartphone! An iPhone 20— NO! 30!!
  Toya: ...Does it have a headphone jack?
  God: IT PIPES MUSIC DIRECTLY INTO YOUR BRAIN!
  Toya: I’d rather have a headphone jack…
  God: FINE! IT CAN DO BOTH NOW! Cause you’re so picky...
• Annoyed by Toya's abrasiveness, God intentionally dumps him in the middle of nowhere on a planet with a dialect that he can't possibly understand, trying to invoke: Be Careful What You Wish For. As it turns out, that future smartphone he allowed him to have has a little feature that translates any foreign speech directly into the user's brain.
  Toya: Wow, what a cool feature? Thanks, God.
  God: WHY?! Why did I make it do that?!
• While having God on speakerphone, Toya makes first contact on the new world.
  Toya: Looks like there’s nothing around for miles…
  God: Yeah! I dropped you in the middle of nowhere! Enjoy the thought that you won’t even be able to read your own tombstone, fucker!
  [A creepy guy in a stagecoach pulls up to meet Toya]
  Stranger: Did someone say “tombstone-fucker”?!
  • And this is the nicest guy Toya encounters.
  Mike: And now that you know what lies in store for you in the foyer, the dining room, and the book nook, you can only imagine the high stakes orgasms of… The Ball Room.
• The creepy guy —named Mike— buys Toya's clothes for a ridiculous sum of money, and makes it clear that his goal is to smell them "in an explicitly sexual manner" - inside of his "explicitly sexual manor!"
  God: You’re better than this, Mike!!!
• Mike is such a nice guy that when Toya tells him that he wished that he had died in infancy, Mike apologizes for that not being the case.
• The farewell between Toya and Mike.
  Mike: Goodbye, new best friend!
  Toya: Drown in a 2-inch pond, Mike! Drown in a 2-inch pond!
  Mike: Haha! If a 2-foot dick couldn’t choke me, a 2-inch pond cannot possibly do the job.
  Toya: Goodbye was such a strong last line, Mike!
• Thomas's plan to rob the penniless twins involves handing them a high interest loan and then steal it from them "thus stealing from them twice". They're so good at crimes.
  Thomas: Now, give us your golden coins or we’ll stab you between two and seventy-nine times!
• In a case of some really Black Comedy, the fact that Gregg chose an armed robbery to propose to Thomas, only for death to do them part right afterwards.
  Gregg: [When Thomas dies] THOMAS! YOU NEVER ANSWERED M- [Gregg is killed by Elze]
• Toya's realization that he hit Thomas with a blow that had previously shattered a diamond item.
  Toya: Oohhh… that did not sound good. Say, your bones wouldn’t happen to be stronger than diamonds, would they?
• Toya learning that the national pastime of the country involves cold-blooded murder. He normally would be horrified, but since he had just killed a man, he's actually relieved.
  Toya: Troubling, but convenient. Maybe I can go pro at this.
• Linze gets introduced to tea by Toya, and she immediately falls addicted to it as if it were a drug. Her crippling addiction becomes her entire character throughout the episode.
  Linze: You could sell tea. To me. Me Tea. Tea for me. All the tea. Tea time is the me time... for tea. *Frantic breathing* Youcanselltea.
  • When Toya is taking a look at the questboard, it's shown that Linze had written all over them to change every mission into a quest for tea. For her, of course.
• Elze is The Comically Serious for most of the episode, but even she has her bangers.
  Toya: [After a few seconds of toying with an item] Now I know all the magic.
  Elze: THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S POSSIBLE! WHAT ARE YOU?!
• Toya continues giving his companions a set of Atrocious Alias.
  Elze: I— My name is Elze. Say it with me, “Elze”.
  Toya: Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m just terrible with names. I use nicknames as a coping mechanism. I hope I haven’t offended you, Longhair.
  Elze: ...Maybe workshop that nickname?
  Toya: Good call, Clown Nose.
  Elze: I- What? Clown Nose?!
  Toya: Oh, sorry. I guess it’s not THAT red.
  • Just the fact that Elze is so done arguing that she simply asks him to change the nickname instead of calling her by her proper name like a normal person.
• Linze is very fond of a quest that gifts you with copper pieces. Toya than asks how much are gold coins worth in comparison to copper ones...
  Linze: Like a lot more!
  Elze: ...Why do you ask?
  Toya: Well… How much is this worth here? [He opens his bag of golden coins and gold light shines from it. The two girls go ballistic]
  • Just the fact that Elze magically starts being more tolerant with Toya after seeing his stash.
  • At one point, Elze suggests that Toya manage his money wisely so that it lasts him an entire lifestyle. Toya is so ambitious and power-hungry that he laughs for about 10 seconds at the mere idea of having a modest living.
    Toya: Would you consider owning a fleet of conjoined helicarriers, each with its own department of luxury, encased in gold and cruising above the earth armed with enough super-science to make Isaac Asimov bust a proverbial nut to be a “modest living”?
    Elze: I have no idea what the fuck you just said.
    Toya: Exactly! This is why you don’t have MANY GOLD COINS. You don’t think big enough! Not like me. I got big-time dreams. Helicarrier dreams.
  • Just the fact that everyone refers to his stash as "many gold coins". Even Mike, who likely has been using that currency for most of his life.
• The guys who attacked Yae in the source material are instead changed to her group of friends, but their antagonistic look is kept, making their statements juxtapose with their faces.
  Guy 1: [With an angry look on his face] I have nothing but respect for you, samurai.
  • Toya's reaction to accidentally killing all of them while testing his powers.
    Toya: Hmm, tests seem inconclusive. We should go.
    Guy: Does anyone know how to glue a face back on?!
    Toya: Now. We should go now.
  • Which is nothing compared to Yae's reaction.
    Yae: You done killed all my friends back there. You know what that means, don’tcha? Means I’ll be needin’ some new friends. Y’all got an openin’? I had references, but uh. Yeah.
• Toya initially was as apathetic to Yae's situation as he is with... everything else. But when Elze tells him that they can't trust her because she's a stranger...
  Toya: I’m sorry, did you suggest that I can’t do something? Through what mechanism do you think you can stop me? You know what, I’m intrigued. [to Yae] Congratulations, you’re hired.
  Yae: Hooray.
• Toya may be an asshole, but he respects audacity.
  Toya: It took real guts to stand up to me like you just did. You get to keep your name.
  Elze: Why does SHE get to keep HER name?!
  Toya: Because I am petty as well as powerful, and fickle as I am fine.
  Elze: This is bullshit. You’re bullshit.
  Toya: You’re not wrong.
  
• While on a stagecoach, Linze gives Toya a magic book.
  Toya: Aww, how correct of you, Muffin~
  Linze: Now you give me something.
  Toya: Uh… Thank... you?
  Linze: More.
  Toya: That’s an out to a conversation if I’ve ever heard one! Who wants to read this book to me?
  Yae: Depends—
  Linze: MORE!!!
  Yae: Depends on what's in it.
• Just the lengths to which Toya will go to avoid admitting that he can't read, down to saying that he's allergic.
• And speaking of allergies, Sushi's guards are allergic to conflict. GUARDS. ALLERGIC. TO CONFLICT.
  • This includes the verbal kind:
    Guard: There’s no time! The mistress’ butler is dying, and—
    Toya: What if I wanted there to be more time?
    Guard: Well, I wouldn’t fight you on it of course.
• When Sushi's butler is dying due to having a lizard chunk lodged in his chest, Toya uses his powers to heal Sushi's butler back to life, without removing the lizard chunk. He lives. Kinda.
• Everything from when Toya arrives at Belfast to the end of the story is pure Black Comedy gold.
  Duke: For saving my dear Sushi, I hereby grant you permission to have brunch with me.
  Toya: Nah, I think we—
  Duke: Or consequences! Your choice, really.
  Toya: You know, I was just thinking we were all hungry and didn’t have another choice.
  Duke: What similar thoughts we had! To Brunch!
  • This is how we're introduced to the duke from an external source.
    Sushi: This is such wonderful news! We must return to my home in the capitol! Duke Ortlinde will reward you with anyone you want!
    Toya: Well that sounds— wait, did you say Any ONE?
    [smash cut to the duke's Explicitly Sexual Manor, with thousands of maids waiting to be given orders]
    Toya: I don’t know how we got here...
  • The duke's bizarre chuckle anytime he gets close to one of his daughters. He makes Toya look like an actual mormon.
  • During brunch, Toya learns that the duke isn't very Politically Correct, to say the least.
    Duke: So you’re sure that your friends can’t sit with us?
    Toya: No. They need to know their place.
    Duke: Oh good, I didn’t want to say anything, but I do hate all women. Glad to meet a like-minded individual.
    Toya: No, I just mean they’re stupid and annoying—
    Duke: Yes, women are annoying and stupid.
    Toya: No, I just mean THOSE women specifically—
    Duke: Yes, THOSE WOMEN.
    Toya: YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER!
  • When the duke asks his daughter how Ellen is doing.
    Sushi: Not so well, father. She's seen better days.
    Duke: [Laughs, then looks at Toya] Sorry, it's funny 'cause she's blind.
  • Both the duke and Toya give the audience a Bait-and-Switch in the same conversation.
    Duke: No sum of money is too great for my Ellen’s health.
    Toya: Oh, I think you’d be surprised—
    Duke: The money of my people is no object to me! I’ll just raise taxes again!
    Toya: Y’know, I’ve never felt guilty about taking money before… So why start now?
  • When Toya is healing Ellen, a slapping sound-effect is added to the healing spell, so Toya slapped her eyes back to life.
  • The Duke refers to Ellen as "his daughter's plural". He's not wrong in the literal sense, but it's all other kinds of wrong.
  • The Reveal that Ellen (the 30-year-old looking woman) is Sushi (the 9 year old)'s daughter. It doesn't make any sense no matter how you look at it, but its still hilarious either way.
    Toya: “Ellen” sure does look like a 30-year-old woman.
    Duke: Doesn’t she? Came out the womb like that. Nearly split Sushi in half, she did.
  • Just watching Toya gradually lose his mind the more time he spends with the duke. Even Evil Has Standards indeed.
    Toya: So Sushi is your wife?! I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOUR DAUGHTER!!
    Duke: She can do both.
    Toya: NO!! TH-THAT’S THE WORST ANSWER!!
  • The meeting is concluded with a choir singnig the appropriately titled Villain Song Would You Like a Child Bride?
  • In the climax of the episode, Toya is riding his cart with his team while expressing his satisfaction of the day's events, which seems jarring considering what we've seen him go through. Then we get a Smash Cut to the duke's castle engulfed in flames. As it turns out, Toya really did not want a child bride.
    Toya: All in all, I’m satisfied with today. We did a lot of good.

---