Funny / Icewind Dale

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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• Some of the Stop Poking Me! quotes are pretty funny:
  Female mage: Click me again and you'll do it without fingers.
  Female sorcerer: Does this robe make me look fat?
  Female sorcerer: ::Fallout 3 Fallout 3 Fallout 3::
  Female sorcerer: Well, you may challenge my resolve, but I fear the opposite of that which you're convinced will occur, will occur.
  Female drow: I shore do love me them spiders!
  Female half-orc: *Sod off,* before I tear off your arms and club you with 'em!
  Female half-orc: *Right* - One more poke and I'll feed you that mouse and hang you with the cord!
  Female half-orc: No one... no one's ever paid so much attention to me before. Do you... like me?
  Female thief: So, I kicked him the head until he was dead... I can't believe I just said that.
  Male fighter: You act like I'm a pawn... in... some... game.
  Male fighter: (attempting to roar) Rahhhhrrrr— ::Cough:: ::Cough::
  Male thief: (complete deadpan voice) I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it.
  Male thief: I'm crazy. I'm out of control. Woo.
  Male thief: Lookout out Faerûn, here comes the wackiest man alive. Whoa.
  Male barbarian: Your skull would make a good whetstone.
  Male drow: Matron, matron! Rizzen hit me and called me a *rothe*! (For non-Underdark heatens, rothe is the equivalent of "cattle.")
  Male drow: Make sure you keep me out of the sun. This book says my powers will fade in one-dee-six months... whatever that means.
• Some various commands you assign to your characters will get funny responses:
  Male fighter: (appointed as leader) Oh, when all else fails, put the dwarf up front.
  Female drow: (appointed as leader) Usstan tlu valsharess? Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! (For non-drow heatens: "I am to be queen?" Patented evil laughter as per humans.)
  Female drow: (selected) Ask politely or you die.
• The escalating "paladin" dialogue options when the Obviously Evil Odd Little Girl keeps appearing before you in Dragon's Eye:
  PC: Cease this malefic skulduggery!
  PC: Begone, wicked deceiver!
  PC: Enough, red-headed stepchild of Acheron!
• Caulder, an NPC on the palisade in Targos, has been trying to repair one of the defenders' catapults. He doesn't have a proper hammer, though, so he's using a wooden club. If you bring him an actual hammer...
  Caulder: I'll just need to borrow the hammer for a moment... oh, and you might want to take a few steps back.
  PC: Step back? Why?
  Caulder: DAMNABLE NAILS, MAKE A FOOL OF ME, WILL YOU?! I'LL SMASH YOU INTO THE HELLS! TAKE THIS! AND THIS! NOT SO SMART *NOW,* ARE YOU? NOW STAY IN! *STAY* IN!
  • Among the possible replies: "By the Gods! Stop, man, stop! You're killing them!" and "Whoa. Someone's obviously married."
• The dead cat from the second game.
  Anson: Eh, what the hells are ye carrying a dead cat around for, then?
  Player Character: I was kind of hoping it might be the solution to someone's problem and that I could learn something from the experience. I guess not this time.
  Anson: If I were you — thank the Gods I'm not — I'd get out of the cold before your brain freezes anymore than it has. When a fool goes to carrying a dead cat around, that's when you need to start asking yourself some serious questions.
  • You're allowed to keep carrying the cat around for the rest of the game, leading to a Brick Joke if you're willing to take it into the The Very Definitely Final Dungeon.
    Yquog: Uh... Why are you carrying around a dead cat?
    Player Character: Doesn't everybody carry around a dead cat? It's soft, and furry - well, parts of him are still furry - it's low maintenance, and the smell is rather cleansing, once you get used to it.
    Yquog: NO! What's wrong with you?! You're insane! How could an insane fleshy mortal reap such havoc on the Legion of the Chimera?! I can't eat you; you'll give me some kind of mental disease! I'll just kill you and leave the body for the rats!

  • The final conversation with Yquog is just a riot if you're carrying any number of dead animals or people with you, really (there are seven different combinations and they're all hilarious). If you happen to carry all three Yquog will (perhaps rightfully) consider you too deranged to be trifled with and run away.
    Player Character: Oh, well, okay, if you insist. Pity, though, you'd have made a fine addition to my pretty, tender collection...
    Yquog: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

• For the full experience in scaring off Yquog.
  PC: - Wait! Isn't there a peaceful way to settle this? Perhaps I have something you'd like - say this dead cat,* or this *dead man,* or *dead woman,*...
  Yquog: - You... You mean to say that you carry dead things with you wherevever you go?!
  PC: - Of course! Doesn't everyone? For me, it's kind of like a memento of all the slaughter I wrought during this campaign against the Legion of the Chimera.
  Yquog: - You... I... But... Bu Iyachtu Xvim, you're SICK! You hold no concept or understanding for things alive or dead! I want no part of, not when I'm so close to maturity! Collect all the bodies you want, sick fleshy mortal, but you'll not have mine! I'll leave this place, and you, in peace and never return, of this I swear!
  PC: - Oh, well, Okay, if you insist. Pity, though, you'd have made a fine addition to my pretty, tender collection...
  Yquog: - AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
  Yquog: - AAAHHH! YOU'RE INSANE! SPARE THIS LOWLY BARGEST WHELP!
  • You managed to fluster the Barghest Whelp, Yquog, with your twisted collection of dead things, to the point of causing him to flee in terror. The party has gained experience: 2250
• A book titled "How to be an Adventurer" is Medium Awareness at it's most fantastic. Chapters Included
  • Henchmen: Loyal Companions or Seedy Pack-mules?
  • Making Your Kit Work for you
  • 101 Uses for a 10' Pole
  • Catapults: Yes, That's as Far as it Shoots
  • Getting the Most out of your Party's Thief
  • Today's Tinderbox - Not Just for Lighting Torches Anymore
  • Dungeons to Tackle:
    • Stinky Pieter's Halls o' Poorly Guarded Gold
    • Archmage "Loose Bowels" Wozley the Milksop's Enchanted Item Warehouse
    • The Wooden Citadel of Darmos the Old and Crippled
    • Uncle Fralin's Tool Shed
  • Dungeons to Avoid Like the Crotch-Rot:
    • The Iron Fortress of Blodax, Devourer of Souls
    • Dominara the Erinyes' Nine-Layered Brothel of Violent Emasculation (No slaking... or slating... allowed)
    • The Crimson Hell-Pit of One Billion Miserable Deaths
    • Uncle Fralin's Bedroom
  • Your Lantern and You
  • Twelve Uses for Twelve Iron Spikes
  • 99 Uses for that Little Hammer that comes with Twelve Iron Spikes
  • Face It, You're Actually "Neutral Evil"
  • The King's Lovely Daughter: Look, but Don't Touch
  • Don't Put your Hand in that Dark Hole!
• In chapter 5 of the sequel, fire elementals invite you to watch their play. The play is a many-hours long tale about flames rising and clashing. Your party of adventurers fell asleep from sheer boredom.
• The gnome tools in the yeti cave include an "Anatidae-based adhesive." Anatidae is Latin for duck. So, yes, gnome tools include duck tape.