Funny / House of Mouse

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House of Mouse segments

"I WANT A LAWYER!"

• In "House of Crime", a clue states that the guy who's kidnapping everyone has a grudge. (pictured)
  Donald: What!? I do not hold a grudge! (everyone looks at him suspiciously) What?
  (scene transition; Donald is locked in the elevator)
  Donald: I WANT A LAWYER!!!
  • The Running Gag of Donald following an annoyed Goofy shouting "Everybody loves me! I never get mad!".
  • Max nonchalantly asking the Phantom Blot if he can park his deflated blimp.
• Another running gag involves Donald getting trampled by a gaggle of Disney characters in several episodes.
• In "Donald Wants to Fly", Donald dons a pair of donkey ears and dubs himself "Donald Donkey" because donkeys can't fly. Cue the flying donkey from The Three Caballeros.
• King Larry messing around with Horace's controls in "King Larry Swings In".
  • The crew reminding Donald what happened the last time royalty visited the club. (Donald accidentally dropped baby Simba).
• In "Gone Goofy", Mickey asks Donald if he's going to give Goofy a (literal) pink-slip to get him fired, Donald hesitates for a moment before shouting yes.
• The Pink Elephants decide to perform in the House of Mouse. Hilarity Ensues:
  • One of them drinks Clarabelle's drink, and she says "What'll I do? What'll I do?" Then cut to Timon pointing at the elephant's rear saying "What an unusual view." And then the rear kicks him away.
  • In the midst of it all there's a shot of an elephant acting as a canoe with Pocahontas in it, Hercules struggling to lift the elephants, and another elephant dancing with Ursula before tossing her on top of Goofy.
  • In a Call-Back to the Heffalumps and Woozles song, they start guzzling up Pooh's honey.
  • Timothy just holds out a sign that says "Boo!" and they vanish.
• "Clarabelle's Big Secret" has a montage of everyone revealing their big secrets to Clarabelle, thinking that she's about to spill them to the club at large. Highlights include:
  • Donald reveals that he's part goose, showing Clarabelle a family reunion photo featuring cameos from characters such as Abigail, Amelia and Uncle Waldo.
  • Goofy's big secret? He really is clumsy. An annoyed Clarabelle walks off without a word.
  • The White Rabbit breaks down sobbing as he admits he isn't late for anything and doesn't have a date.
  • Chernabog's cameo where he reveals he's afraid of the dark. Let that sink in: Satan is afraid of the dark!
  • Pluto howls something at Clarabelle, who gasps and exclaims "I don't think I can print that!". All while Goofy delivers a sly look to the camera.
• During "Where's Minnie?", when Daisy is left in charge of the club while everyone else searches for Minnie, we get this exchange:
  Daisy (introducing the next segment): "Usually we'd show a cartoon here, but instead I've got an act! It was written by me, stars me and guess who's in it: me!"
  Mortimer Mouse (in the audience): "Quit threatening us already and show the cartoon!"
  • Said act turns out to be an affectionate parody of Davy Crockett.
• In the pilot episode when Donald takes over the House, he keeps trying to rename the place to "House of Duck", only to instead be given plaques reading "House of Muck" and "House of Yuck", ending with... "House of Pancakes".
• Donald sleeping on the job while Oysters hop right over him in "House of Genius"
  Aurora: And they call me Sleeping Beauty.
  • In the same episode, Goofy asks Captain Hook if he'll like deep-dish or pan pizza. Hook's response is "Bring me PAN!"
  • The robot Donald's clear way of speaking, introducing himself as "Duwwod".
• In "The Stolen Cartoons", Mickey is feeling slightly stressed, so Minnie suggests he has a drink. Cue Mickey taking a drink out of a rather large pet water bottle.
• In "The Unplugged Club", Mickey is stressed and Minnie asks him "Do you need a timeout in your wheel?" Then we see the single biggest hamster wheel in history.
• "House of Scrooge" begins with Scrooge walking up on the stage and berating Mickey's act. When Mickey asks what he's doing there, Scrooge informs him that he bought the House of Mouse. Cut to Donald, who facepalms.
  • And right after there's this exchange:
  Mickey: "You can't buy the place! Pete owns it!"
  Scrooge: "Everyone has their price."
  <Pete drives up in a golf cart out of nowhere, dressed like a pimp and lugging around a gigantic bag with a dollar sign on it>
  Pete: "And my price is a big fat bag of cash!" ''<floors it offscreen, laughing like a maniac and causing crashes and screams offscreen>
• "No one breaks their leg like Gaston!" *offscreen crash*
  • It's a lot more stunt than his Disney Villain Death.
• What happens when the Big Bad Wolf plays his trumpet too hard?
• In Goofy's adorkable musical number, "Soup or Salad, Fries or Biscuits" (a waiter themed parody of "Supercalifragiallisticexpialidocious"), we find out that the Mad Hatter intends to order pizza with "no crust, no sauce and no cheese".
  • That entire song, really. Only Disney could make being a waiter sound so dang whimsical.
• Jafar going on a date with Maleficent. It goes about as well as one would expect.
  Jafar: My dear, I've been looking for a diamond in the rough!
  (Maleficent blasts him with lightning.)
  Iago: Real smooth, Prince Charming.
• In Panchito's I Am Song, it's revealed that one of his relatives is a bucket of fried chicken.
• ALL of Pete's "Boom Da Boom" song, but Mickey's reaction to it really sells it.
  Mickey: Gram-Gram used to sing THAT?
• In "Big Bad Wolf Daddy", Mickey complains about having to fire O'Malley and the Alley Cats, asking Donald if he has any idea how angry a cat would be to be fired by a mouse. We then cut to Thomas O'Malley, who calmly says "Show biz. It happens." The episode also has the The Bimbettes providing backup during "Big Bad Wolf Daddy" much to Gaston's annoyance as well as Max's facial expressions when several of the guests are blown out inclduing a Jaw Drop and giving a "WTF just happened?" look and at the end, the Three Pigs slamming their cello case causes the removed doors to fall in front of the Big Bad Wolf who blows up the club blowing down the doors. Mickey then makes Donald clean up, because technically, the wolf was Donald's guest!
• Aside from Mortimer's failed attempts at hitting on the guests, "Goofy's Valentine Date" also has the disclaimer for the commercial at the end of the short.
  Announcer: Dealing with the Queen of Hearts may be hazardous to your head.
• In "Clarabelle's Big Secret", when Mortimer snarks about Clarabelle's gossip, he first asks if her next secret is that "Rafiki is old". Timon laughs at the statement and Rafiki responds by hitting him on the head. Later, Mortimer makes the same remark, only this time joking that the secret is that "Snow White is the fairest of them all". Timon laughs again, this time getting hit by the Evil Queen.
  • Some of the secrets she finds out about the guests, the best one probably being the White Rabbit's.
  White Rabbit: I'm not really late! And I don't have a date! I'M A FRAUD!
• The announcer saying that Donald Duck is prone to hissy fits and temper tantrums at the end of "Everybody Loves Mickey".
• The Running Gag in "Chip n Dale" with Pete being unable to open his bag of nuts and everyone he asks to open it screwing him over instead.
• Ranger Woodlore always being there to scold Humphrey the Bear for his actions in "Humphrey in the House".
• "Pete's Christmas Caper" has a couple, both involving Mortimer. When Mickey goes asking people what they want for Christmas, Mortimer appears in the video asking for Minnie's phone number. He appears a second time with a black eye, this time asking for Daisy's phone number. After that, he appears once more with bandages on his head, this time asking for a doctor's phone number. Aside from that, Mortimer's failed attempts at kissing Minnie under the mistletoe are also pretty humorous, especially when his last attempt ends with him getting kissed by Pete.
• The Running Gag of Mortimer trying and failing to get Minnie to kiss him under the mistletoe returns in "Clarabelle's Christmas List".
• The Headless Horseman screaming like a little girl when a hollow Jack-o-lantern ends up on Ichabod Crane's head in "Halloween with Hades".
• At the end of "Pete's House of Villains", he's forced to clean the place up. As he's scrubbing the floors dressed in Cinderella's "maid" outfit, Lady Tremaine (Cinderella's stepmother) appears behind him, looming over him with that same smug grin she uses when she makes her stepdaughter miserable. Pete is creeped out as she's doing this, and nervously laughs as he tells her to quit staring at him.
• The scene in "Pluto Saves the Day" where Pete, disguised as Snow White, tries to give Goofy a sleeping apple.
  Pete: (falsetto) Oh, Goofy! I have a delicious apple for you.
  Goofy: No thanks. Ma said never to take fruit from a stranger.
  Pete: But I'm Snow White.
  Goofy: Yeah? Then who's that? (points to the real Snow White sitting at her table)
  Pete: Uh, well, y'know, uh...An apple a day keeps the doc away.
  Goofy: But I like Doc. (holds up Doc)
  Pete: (angry; normal tone) Just eat dis apple!
  Goofy: Okay, Snow. Betcha Prince Charmin' never saw this side of ya before the kiss. (Pete shoves the apple into his mouth)
• After spending the whole entire episode being trolled by the Aracuan Bird in "Donald and the Aracuan Bird", Donald finally snaps and takes off after the bird with a gradually increasing amount of tranquilizer guns. In the ensuing chaos, everyone in the house except the Aracuan Bird (including Mickey and Donald himself) is knocked out...except Princess Aurora, who is sitting there wide awake and annoyed among the sleeping masses.
• "Pete's One Man Show": To disguise the fact that there's no audience, the gang puts up cardboard cut outs of well-known Disney characters and hide behind them, shouting their catchphrases. Cue Goofy as Dumbo:
  Goofy: Be our guest, be our guest!
• "The Stolen Cartoons": Mickey and Minnie find Horace tied up in the control booth.
  Mickey: Horace, what's wrong?!
  Horace: All the rainforests are bein' chopped down, nobody votes anymore and the Internet's too dang slow!
• "Ladies Night" starts with Clarabelle and Daisy talking about finally getting to do the things they want to do. Clarabelle especially has her mind on one thing only...
  Daisy: We can finally do a show with things we like!
  Clarabelle: Like a bachelor auction!
  Daisy: Or the Country Duck Jamboree! Starring Daisy Duck!
  Clarabelle: Or a bachelor giveaway!
  Daisy: Or the Duck-ahontas Stage Show! Starring Daisy Duck!
  Clarabelle: Or a bachelor two-for-one special!
  Daisy: Starring Daisy Duck!
• In Goofy's Magic Menu, Mickey tells Goofy to hurry up; the guests are getting hungry. Cue a hypnotized Mowgli about to be eaten by Kaa.
• Just seeing some of the scariest and most malicious villains in Disney Animated Canon being jovial audience members alongside the protagonists is quite humorous. Some shots show the likes of Frollo or Chernabog clapping to the silly cartoons and numbers.
• Pretty much any time Hades shows up.
  • Eeyore, too.
• Speaking of Eeyore, the bit where Goofy rearranges the seating so the guests can make new friends. Eeyore is paired with the overly-positive Jiminy Cricket, Bambi is paired with the hungry Big Bad Wolf, but the icing on the cake is the Mad Hatter paired with...Judge Claude Frollo, of all people.
• In the episode where Jiminy subs in as Mickey's conscience, Mickey discovers the hard way that this means he now has a Pinocchio Nose when he attempts to compliment Maleficent, Ursula, and Cruella De Ville.
• In one episode, the guests are accusing people of stealing—Jafar declares that Aladdin stole his bread, Aladdin states that someone stole his lamp and Prince John accuses Robin Hood of stealing his gold. Then we get to Pongo and Perdita accusing Cruella of stealing their puppies. Cruella's response?
  Cruella: ONE movie and you're labeled for life!
  • Even better because all of her other appearances have her still trying to get a fur coat.
• When Jafar and Iago arrive too late to perform and after Daisy made the House disappear, Iago’s reaction is “We are SO late, the building’s already left!”
  • Mickey promises Jafar the City of Agrabah if he succeeds at bringing the house back. When Jafar does just that, Mickey hands him a snowglobe modeled after the City of Agrabah.
  Iago: (as Jafar stares, dumbfounded) WE'VE BEEN AGRABAMBOOZLED BY A MOUSE!
• Donald is getting into some shenanigans and ends up on Ursula's plate. She wraps a tentacle around him while angrily telling Goofy "I did NOT order the duck." Goofy's response is "And I'm pretty sure Donald didn't order the calamari!"
• Cruella exposing Pete in "The Stolen Cartoons" when he tries to disguise himself as a Dalmatian.
• In "Salute to Sports", Goofy has the lyrics to "America the Beautiful" stuck all over him, and when he forgets the lyrics, he undresses just so he could remember them.
  • Also, he couldn't remember the national anthem until the end, when it's too late.

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