Funny / Gotham Season Five

5x 01 Year Zero

• The Riddler's indignation at waking up in a dumpster.
• While testing out his new leg brace, Penguin comments that there's something missing. He then tells his workers to put a knife on it.
  • Related: the confrontation at the end of the episode results in Jim shooting Penguin in the knee, right after the leg got fixed. Penguin's screams are half agonizing pain, half "You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!"
    Penguin: I JUST FIXED THIS!
    • When Penguin's surgeon fishes out the bullet, he holds it up in his clamps in a "Look! I got it!" manner.
    • Mr. Penn's fruitless attempt to get Oswald to calm down while the bullet is being removed.
• Penguin has named his dog after Ed.
• Bullock's comments towards Bruce:
  (Bruce reveals his plan to have supplies brought in) "It sure is nice to have a billionaire on our side."
  (after Bruce gets the cops more bullets): "I could kiss you, kid!"

5x 02 Trespassers

• Riddler is happy to have seemingly finally fixed his sleepwalking problem... then he finds a biker tied up in his bathtub.
  • Riddler initially tries to convince himself there's nothing there. Then he steels himself up to confront the guy... armed with a toilet plunger.
  • When Riddler asks if he hit the biker, the guy glances down at the blood and injuries on his person and rolls his eyes.
  • Riddler then has to try and figure out why he grabbed the biker during his blackout, much to the other guy's confusion, as he's essentially being interrogated over his own interrogation.
    • Riddler asking how he was acting when he was originally interrogating the guy: confident, flamboyant, charisma for days (himself), or conservative, kind of repressed, and a little bit nerdy (Ed)?
• Bruce insults Ivy's garden to her face, saying it smells of death. Ivy defensively calls it a work in progress.
• Harvey gets a lot of hilarious moments throughout the episode:
  • Reminding Jim that with Penguin's bounty on his head a lot of people are going to be taking shots at him, and any shots that miss him will hit the poor schmuck next to him, which would most likely be Harvey himself.
  • His reaction to being attacked by one of the dark zone gangs.
    Harvey: It's a freaking arrow, Jim! A freaking arrow!
  • When Sykes questions why anyone would want to be a cop in the current situation, Harvey answers with this:
    Harvey: The costume store was out of gas masks. So, it was either this (indicates his badge) or Sexy Nurse.
  • Jim tries to be optimistic about the lit candle in the window of the hotel, saying that in the old west settlers used to do the same to led others to safety. It only takes a look from Harvey to suggest they search the place.
    Harvey: (after being told to check the basement) Oh, check out the basement in a creepy hotel? By myself? Sure, what could go wrong?
  • When Mother attacks Harvey in the basement, his immediate response is to grab and throw her into a shelf.
  • Visiting the new living area Lucius was able to set up, Harvey immediately asks if there's a bar.

5x 03 Penguin, Our Hero

• Penguin has a choir sing his praises when he gets up and ignores Mr. Penn to bask in the glory, up until one of the singers passes out.
• Penguin wakes up to find that all of his followers have finally deserted him... and they took his dog with them.
  Olga: Rumors say pup went willingly.
  • Later, when Penguin tries to get his folks back, he calls out for the dog... who just sits there and makes absolutely no move to go to Penguin.
    • The look on Jim's face when he realizes that Penguin named his dog Edward.
• Penguin recruiting the Street Demons to attack Jim Gordon's Haven immediately... right after he gets dressed.
  • Unchaining one of the Street Demons causes his body to collapse to the floor. The remaining gang member tells Penguin that the guy Oswald's just been berating and bargaining with died yesterday.
• Selina is thrown when Bruce uses a grapple gun to hold back her fist and stop her from beating down a guy. Better get used to it...
• While playing around on top of cars, enjoying her regained mobility, Selina's whip gets caught on a car hood.
• It's a bit of black comedy, but the fact that Mr. Penn uses his last breaths to tell Penguin that "everyone hates you" is great. As is Penguin's reaction: he's just so shocked.
• Since their hands are bound, Jim and Penguin have to go back-to-back and slowly lower themselves down so one of them can grab the can opener to free them. Funny as is, but for a brief moment Jim sports a very wide eyed expression implying that Penguin may have grabbed something else.

5x 04 Ruin

• Jeremiah getting embarrassed when Ecco approaches him while he's muttering and giggling to himself.
  • And then there's the fact that he's obviously arguing with his inner Jerome about whether or not Bruce will like the tunnel he's digging him using his semi-brainwashed minions. Inner Jerome obviously has a better handle on what kind of gifts Bruce would appreciate:
  Jeremiah: It's a nice gift for him. He'll like it!
  Jeremiah (this time in Jerome's voice): No, he won't.
  Jeremiah (as himself, again): Come on, he's gonna love it! He's gonna... (randomly breaks down in giggles.)
• Ecco putting the new followers to work with this line:
  Ecco: Let's do what my daddy did when I was six! Move out!
• Riddler trying to physically take the file he needs from Lucius but failing, not even getting the man to budge an inch.
  Lucius: (minutely shaking his head) Why?
• Despite being told to be discreet, Oswald still grabs a bullhorn and announces himself to the potential bomber.
• Zsasz's cheery disposition throughout the episode:
  • Greeting Jim, Harvey, Penguin and their combined forces with a casual "Hey guys, what's up?"
    • While waiting out a hail of gunfire, he calmly finishes off his drink.
  • Complimenting the table that Jim and Harvey have slammed his face into.
    • Asking if they have any canned peaches, saying that he'd give an arm and a leg for one before adding on that he doesn't mean his arm and leg.
    • Asking if they're going to strip search him and suggesting that Alvarez do it, commenting that he's handsome.
  • When about to be executed, he's asked if he has any last words. Despite being gagged, he gives a muffled speech for a few moments, apparently completely seriously.

5 X 05 Pena Dura

• Also an example of Fridge Brilliance, but the revelation that Jeremiah built a tunnel from Gotham to Wayne Manor (specifically, to Thomas Wayne's hidden room) brings with it the realization that the Joker is probably at least partially responsible for the construction of the Batcave, and is also probably responsible for Batman having a secret route for getting to and from Gotham quickly. Sure, one of the entrances to the tunnel is destroyed two episodes later, but the rest of it seemed to still be stable enough to use. So...at least Bruce got one of the best engineers in the city to build it for him?
• Dorrance can't believe the idea of Nygma rigging a mine that'll go off if his heartbeat stops
  Dorrance: A wristband linked to his heartbeat?
  Gordon: Welcome to Gotham.
  • Followed by Gordon foiling the trap and Dorrance asking "You left the army to move to this town?" Gordon responds that "It grows on you."
    • The way Gordon has to do this is by him playing the most dangerous game of "The Floor is Lava" to get to the bookshelf to find the right book to disarm the bomb.
• A family of hicks decides to torture Nygma with a homemade electric chair for Haven. But not for the people, but because their dog was killed in the explosion.
  • After distracting them, Nygma runs off while he's still duct taped to the chair.
• Holding Oswald at gunpoint, Ed has just one question:
  Nygma: We have a lot to talk about. But first... did you name your dog after me?!
• Nygma and Oswald argue over Oswald saving Eddie's life.
  Oswald: After Butch, you're my only friend!
  Nygma: You shot Butch!
  Oswald: Which is why I needed you!
• After Bullock gives Bruce a Rousing Speech about how the little things they do add up to definite good, he sits down and asks Bruce to get him more coffee to help with his paperwork... and looks up to see that Bruce has disappeared.
  Bullock: (impressed) Kid's fast.
• Hugo Strange is back and camp as ever. His "oh, my" when being held at gunpoint would make George Takei proud.

5 X 06 13 Stitches

• This exchange after Gordon's electrocuted Ed to break him free of Eduardo's control:
  Ed: (worried) What did I do this time?
  Gordon: Tried to kill me.
  Ed: (relieved) Oh, is that all?
• When told what's going on with Ed, Barbara is skeptical and has to be reminded that it's not much weirder than anything else she's encountered in the past few years.
• Lucius operates to get the chip out of Ed's head which causes Ed to babble out nonsense. Barbara, of course, just urges Lucius to "do it again."
  Ed: If you would be more careful I wouldn't potato all the long legs from the hidden spoon.
  [...]
  Ed: Please don't habituate the curtain rod!
• After being locked up, one of the officers suggests they tie their shoelaces together and use them as a lasso to get the keys. Harvey has to remind him that even if that worked, they're unarmed and Eduardo's men won't just drop their guns in awe of their resourcefulness.
  • Harvey's comment that some harebrained plot isn't going to help them at all. Cue Edward walking into the GCPD dressed in a bomb suit.
• Ed's wildly over the top distraction plan by wearing a huge bomb-proof suit and showing off a bomb that can only be deactivated by a riddle. It's clear he's loving getting to mess with both the GCPD and the military at the same time.
  • When Bullock solves the riddle, Ed's reaction is wonderful. He's clearly going "Wait... the one time you figure it out is now?!"
  • Even better is that Bullock somehow recalled the obscure clue from an essay he had to write in school.
  • Ed's small "Oh dear" when the bomb is disarmed and everyone gets ready to shoot him.
• Penguin's reaction after first meeting Magpie.
  Penguin: Who the hell was that?!
• Jeremiah abducts Alfred so that... he can do some dusting around Wayne Manor.
• Harvey awkwardly saying "Congratulations?" to Jim after Barbara reveals that she's pregnant.
  • The lead-up to this is golden:
    Barbara: Jim, we need to talk.
    Jim: Now's not a good time.
    Barbara: You remember the "good time" we had the other day, over there?
    Harvey: Say what?

5 X 07 Ace Chemicals

• Penguin sends a minion to cross the river in a boat, to see if the military's mines work. They do, blowing up the boat. After a conversation with Selina over alternative plans for getting out of the city, Penguin looks back at the river, leading to this wonderful bit of Black Comedy:
  Penguin: Oh look, he's swimming to shore.
  (Explosion offscreen. Penguin puts down binoculars with a cross expression.)
• When Lee points out that Barbara tried to kill her repeatedly, Barbara brushes it off by saying that happened years ago. Considering how frequently characters drop feuds and pick up new ones, she may have a point.
• The pure awkwardness in Jim going to Lee for info on a gang from the Narrows, only to find Barbara there trying to convince Lee to be her OBGYN.
• Jim and Lee take turns insulting Tetch: Jim calls him Jeremiah's errand boy, while Lee says that without his gimmicks, he's just a second-rater in a silly hat. While Tetch is able to come up with a rhyme to brush off Jim's taunt, he can't for Lee and petulantly tells her to shut up.
• Ecco attacking Jim in the chemical plant... on roller skates.
• After showing Bruce one of the bombs set up in Wayne Manor, a hypnotized Alfred walks into the room and believes that Jeremiah's bomb is a cake. This actually throws Jeremiah for a moment before he just rolls with it.
  • Jeremiah has a similar nonplussed reaction to learning that Bruce's favorite lunch, at age 12, was a grilled cheese and Branston pickle sandwich. After giving Bruce a chilling speech about their "special bond", he takes a bite of the sandwich and gives an approving "Hm!", as if to say "That's not bad."
    Jeremiah: C'mon, Bruce, that's a weird favorite food for a twelve year old.
• The way Bruce glares at Jeremiah throughout this whole encounter while Jeremiah just smugly beams at him is wordless comedy at its finest.
• After being freed from his mind control, Alfred swears to shove Tetch's watch up his "nose".
• Ed is still hung up on the fact Oswald named his dog after him.
• Ed ruining the tension between Oswald and Barbara by realizing she's pregnant, he claims he could tell because she's glowing. Barbara can't believe that, while Oswald actually squints at her as if trying to see the "glow" himself.
  • Their escape plan.
    Barbara: Are you telling me you found a way out of Gotham?
    Penguin: Ed did.
    Edward Nygma: It's a submarine.
    Barbara: A submarine?
    Edward Nygma: It can track mines in the river using sonar.
    Barbara: So, where's this submarine?
    Beat
    Edward Nygma: We have to build it.
    Barbara: Yeah, I'm gonna shoot you.

  • After being let in on their escape plans (which involves building a submarine), Barbara storms off, prompting Oswald to ask her who the lucky father is, to which she just yells at him to shut up.
    • Even better is that this is the last scene of the episode, with Barbara's Big "SHUT UP!" being literally the last line before the smash to the title card.

5 X 08 Nothing's Shocking

• When two old men come into her bar, Barbara tells them they better have some decent info if they want to stick around. Whatever they give her is only worth one drink. To share.
• Jim and Bullock go check on his old partner Dix, who immediately answers his door by blowing a hole in it with what looks like a mini-cannon.
• Arthur Penn turns out to be the show's version of the Ventriloquist and Mr. Scarface, with Oswald and Ed's reactions perfectly selling that even with everything that's happened in the city for the past five years, the spectacle before them is some unbelievably weird shit.
  • Ed is literally going "I am not doing this" as he works on his plans.
  • Oswald also doesn't want to handle it before Scarface pulls out a gun and talks about becoming "boss" of Gotham.
  Oswald: What am I doing?! I'm arguing with a doll!
  Ed: Dummy.
  Oswald: Seriously?!
  • Also that quick shot of the Ventriloquist and Mr. Scarface looking at Riddler after he corrected Penguin.
    • After dealing with the situation, Ed and Oswald just start laughing at the absurdity of it.
• Ed asking Scarface what he's going to do once he has his "tiny wooden hands" on the treasure. Scarface is notably thrown for a loop, saying he'll "take 'em all on! Yeah!"
• Jane poses as Barbara but is far too nice to be believed. Then the real Barbara shows up.
  Barbara: It's me, you idiots!
  Bullock: That sounds like Barbara.
• When Oswald tries to wrestle the gun away from him, Penn hits him with Mr. Scarface.

5x 09 The Trial Of James Gordon

• Barbara is getting impatient about how long it's taking Nygma to build the submarine. When Oswald tells her it takes some time for one person to make such a device from scraps, she snaps that he doesn't have to deal with being a walking egg timer.
  • The look on Oswald's face when Barbara indicates her belly is priceless.
• What's better than Zsasz? Zsasz under Ivy's pollen influence.
  Zsasz: Lately I've been stopping to smell the roses. Like, actual roses. They're great!
  Harvey: ...Are you high?
  Zsasz: On love. But like I said... my lips are sealed.
  Harvey: Ivy Pepper.
  Zsasz: You said it, not me. Uh, I'm technically not allowed to say it. Her name. Which is such a bummer, because it's the most beautiful name in the world.
  Harvey: You watch him.
  Zsasz:I could say it all day. Hey, I will say it all day. Ivy. Ivy Pepper. Mrs.... Ivy Pepper Zsasz. Oh, that sounds good.
• An Ivy-hypnotized Zsaz talking to the officer guarding him.
  Zsasz: Hey, Jeff, listen to me. One day, you're gonna meet someone who's gonna totally change your life, and that's gonna make you happy, and you deserve it.
  • Then a hypnotized officer kills the guard and Ivy comes in.
  Zsasz: Or not.
• When Bruce, under Ivy's influence, goes to see Lucius.
  Lucius: I'm sorry, did you just say "people, ugh"?
  Bruce: Lucius. What if I were to tell you I have in my possession the most intoxicating perfume you'll ever smell?
  Lucius: I would tell you that's an abrupt change of topic, can we go back to the part where you said "people, ugh"?
  • Just the goofy smiles Bruce and Lucius have while they're shutting down the water filtration plant and getting ready to destroy it.
  • After Selina and Bruce have a dramatic and emotional fight to free him from Ivy's control, they then run into the control room where they confront Lucius, which culminates in this when Bruce tries to get through to Lucius that he's been brainwashed:
  Lucius: Ivy wouldn't do that. We're perfectly bonded, like carbon and oxygen, or oxygen and hydrogen, or-
  Selina: We don't have time for this. (kicks Lucius in the face)
• During the hallucination of his own wake, Jim is spotted by Harvey who offers him a drink. The fact it's a tropical drink with a little umbrella, and that Harvey comments that he can barely feel his face after it, adds to the surrealness of the scene.
  • The wake itself, with the show's past villains in full costume all sharing drinks with Riddler playing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" on the piano.
• Harvey is fed up with the fact he keeps getting shot at in his own precinct.
  • His plan to stop Zsasz? Grab the bomb suit Nygma used a few episodes ago to soak up the bullets before tackling the assassin and punching his lights out.
• Harvey's speech at the wedding, which he wants to keep short so they can hit the bar asap. It involves him saying that he would call Jim his best friend except Jim is actually his only friend, reminding everyone of the time Lee was infected with the Tetch virus and tried to kill Jim, and pointing out that he doesn't actually have any authority to officiate weddings.
• The amused look on Alfred and Lucius' faces when they see that Bruce and Selina have taken a cue from Jim and Lee to have a kiss of their own.

5x 10 I Am Bane

• Barbara goes into labor right as she, Edward, and Oswald are getting ready to leave in the submarine. Oswald tells her to go have the baby and they'll wait for her to come back.
  Edward: (as Barbara drives off) Should I start the engines?
  Oswald: Yes! One less passenger to worry about.
  Edward: Two, actually.
• Oswald tries an emotional farewell speech to Gotham.
  Oswald: Saying goodbye is so hard...
  Ed: Good news, then, we're not going anywhere.
• Oswald is outraged at Barbara stealing from him, with her just pointing out how she did it because he was going to leave her behind.
• When meeting Lee face-to-face for the first time since the end of previous season, Edward reminds her that she stabbed him.
  • More specifically, that she stabbed him first.
• As he's threatening Barbara to hand over the submarine part she stole, Oswald points a gun at her. Lee and Ed immediately chastise him for accidentally aiming at Barbara's belly, to which he responds with an exasperated apology.
  Lee: Don't point that at the baby!
  Oswald (sheepishly realizes): What... no I did not! I was merely trying to make a general threatening gesture with a firearm.
  Edward: But you did though, you pointed the gun at the baby.
  Oswald: Alright fine. (to Barbara's stomach) I'M SORRY!
• Barbara howls at Ed that if he's thinking about torturing her to find where the part is hidden, "there is literally nothing you can do to me that is more painful than what I'm going through right now!"
• Bane bursts through an exploding door at the hospital, snaps the neck of a nurse, marches to the front desk... and rings the bell.
• The group try to escape, with Lee asking how many people Barbara "has screwed over" and prompting Oswald to comment "Present company excluded?"
  Ed: They only seem interested in killing one person.
  Oswald: So by all means, let's gather 'round the target!
• Oswald's Sarcasm Mode.
  "Hold them off?" I only brought enough ammunition for a light firefight, not repel a paramilitary assault! What are we going to use, bedpans?!
• Ed and Oswald survive a gunfight:
  Ed: Some try to hide, some try to cheat. But time will always let us meet. What am I?
  Oswald Pregnant lady with a gun?
  Ed: Death. But close enough.
• Lee pushing Barbara through the hospital corridor, with Barbara wielding a pair of guns, mowing down the bad guys sent to stop them. Lee spinning Barbara to catch a pair just coming off the elevator caps the scene.

5x 11 They Did What?

• Oswald has second thoughts on leaving...
  Oswald: Can we really be so cavalier about the destruction of Gotham?
  Ed: Let me think about it... YES!
• When Ed reciprocates Oswald's "I'll miss you", Oswald snaps at him that he was talking to his dog.
  • Oswald telling the dog to "go with the man in green" even though dogs can't see that color.
• The drink that Gordon has when Oswald shows up is labeled Jankey Piss Whiskey.
• Jim telling Oswald he smells like "part dandy, part snake." Oswald pauses like he can't decide if he should be offended or not.
• Oswald asks Ed how bad his eye injury is, Nygma attempts to assure him that "It's just a scratch" but gags partway though.
  • Oswald's confused "Where'd everybody go?" when he and Ed get moving, since everyone else left them behind.
• Oswald and Ed promising with seeming sincerity to work together, and then hugging while simultaneously drawing their daggers, clearly meaning to literally stab each other in the back. They both seem to get a little bit more into the hug than the stabbing, though, because the hug eventually becomes real, and when they part, they both have to surreptitiously put their daggers away.
• While she's in the middle of kicking Gordon's ass, Nyssa keeps monologuing about the legacy she's going to start with Gotham's destruction and there's nothing Gordon could possibly do to stop her. He responds by asking if she ever stops talking.
• Bullock is wishing Gordon well in his beginning as Commissioner and gets choked up partway through... Though naturally, he won't admit it:
  Bullock: "I'm gonna go get a drink, before you get all teary-eyed on me." (turns away sniffling)

5x 12 The Beginning

• Barbara and Lee both make fun of Jim's mustache, which he ends up shaving off that night, by commenting that Bruce might not recognize him with it.
• That Barbara is the more responsible parent compared to Jim, telling him to make sure their daughter goes to bed on time. As the father and daughter walk off, Jim whispers to her to ask if she wants ice cream.
• Ed going full Deadpan Snarker when he's trying to read the newspaper in Arkham but the guard won't let him. His reaction is what sells it.
  Ed: I've been here for ten years! Ten years! I deserve to read the newspaper, you mouthbreather!
• Noticing that he's being tailed, Oswald attempts to borrow a reporter's clothes so he can sneak away, and quickly loses his temper. It's good to see that even after ten years of incarceration, Oswald hasn't changed much.
  Oswald: Your hat and coat, please. (beat) NOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!
• Alfred calling out Selina's tsundere tendencies at the Wayne gala.
  Selina: He (Bruce) needs to stay away.
  Alfred: So you come here dressed to the nines to tell him to leave you alone, is that how it is?
• Barbara fires on Ed trying to blow up the Mayor like he did years ago.
  Ed: It's a Call-Back!
• A bit of a Black Comedy moment, while disarming the bomb set up in the new Wayne Tower, Lee cuts one of two green wires. It seems to work before the countdown speeds up, cue Jim and Lucius frantically telling her "Other one! Other one!".
• Jeremiah's total confusion at being attacked by the younger Barbara, before casually shooting her mother and going back to fending off the kid in bewilderment.
• Penguin and Riddler's reaction when they are attacked by a caped figure? Screaming in terror. Cut to the police finding them tied to a lamppost demanding to be cut down.
  • And Alfred and Lucius just stroll right up while making semi-open small talk about how they both know exactly what Bruce is up to.
• This exchange is worth a few giggles:
  Oswald: 'This is my city,' that's what he said!
  Ed: I was there, Oswald.
  Oswald: I did not spend ten years in Blackgate to lose my city to A MAN DRESSED LIKE A BAT!
• Going full-on Joker has only increased Jeremiah's nutty humor.
  Jim: How long have you been pretending to be brain dead?
  Jeremiah: How long have you? (beat) That's just a joke. I know you're not pretending.
• How does Jeremiah react to the Batman sending a Batarang through his hand? By laughing like a loon, of course. Then he looks up towards his old foe as if to say "Good one!" before another Batarang knocks him out cold.
• Penguin and Riddler rant that they're going to find the lunatic dressed up like a bat who left them hogtied for the police and find out who he is and get their revenge and... they see a caped figure jumping between buildings in the distance. And decide that maybe they'll put off seeking their revenge until tomorrow.