Funny / Game Players Magazine

• One reader sent a letter asking, "About Wave Race... This may be the realistic affect of neoprene on a bare ass, but do I need to see it in a videogame?" Roger replied, "As for bare asses, yes, it is absolutely necessary. There was much debate at UGP about adding a 'Bare Ass' category to our rating system (weight by 10). Unfortunately, the puritans in the office won out and all I can hope for now is a series of games like Bare Ass, Bare Ass II, Bare Ass III, Ultimate Bare Ass III, and Bare Ass Trilogy."
• One of the Jaded Gamers concerned Bill Donahue ranting about the "third person" mode in racing games, claiming it's unrealistic. He then went on a long description about how you would have to pull this view off in real life, which involved building a tall extension off the back of the car with a seat on top.
• The Bill Donahue/M. Bison cut-out mask.
• The "1995 Reader Game Idea Awards" had this gem:
  "I've got a game that will blow your mind! It's called Weet Fighter 'cuz that's the noise my guinea pig makes when it's mad. The fighters would be guinea pigs. The fatalities would be very bloody. THEY WOULD BE SWIMMING IN BLOOD! Sorry, I got carried away there. P.S. Woah, gotta go now. One of my dead corpses seems to be moving!"
• The Laserbees comic.◊
• The letters section of one of the Game Buyer issues had a picture from The Big Comfy Couch with the caption: "How can senators raise the hue and cry about violence in videogames when this scary woman is on TV?"
• Shaquille O'Neal was a guest reviewer in the November 1994 issue, and reviewed Super Street Fighter II. He said the sound wasn't that great but it's not a big deal because you can shout along with the game if you want. Just the image it puts in your head- of Shaq screaming at the TV.
• Another game idea from a reader:
  "It (sic) think that a neat idea for a video game would be one in which you're Nancy Kerrigan, and you are going around courthouses, jail cells, and ice rinks trying to find Tonya Harding, her bodyguard, and her ex-husband and hit them all in the knees. On the way, you would pick up ice skates and crowbars for points. In the bonus rounds, you would try to do ice-skating tricks. In the game-over screen, you'd get hit in the knee by John Bobbit and limp away."
  • And the editor's reply:
  "You're sick. We like that in a person."
• Another game idea was so dumb and basic it was hilarious:
  "My game is called Dead. You're, uh... dead. That's about it. Cool, huh?"
  • And Bill's reply:
  "Yeah, Billy, that sounds really, uh... cool. What are you gonna do for a sequel, huh? I know... your next game is gonna be called Rot, right? You'll just kinda... rot. Uh, swell. My guess is that the second game is gonna smell just as bad as the first! Oh well, rest in peace.
• A letter in the May 1995 issue had a reader disagreeing with them on Battle Arena Toshinden, saying "Reviews like that make me so angry I could wrestle a manatee in the nude! Do another review like that and I'll shave your cats, then I'll dunk them in alcohol, then I'll flay them alive, then I'll nail your hands to your desks, slit your wrists and let you watch yourselves bleed to death. Actually, I may do that anyway- sounds like fun..."