Funny / Fragments of Chaldea

Reminder: Spoilers Off for Moments pages.

Season 1

Fragment 2

• After losing to Billy the Kid in their first duel, Oda Nobunaga is informed that she can achieve her second Ascension - which Billy had himself taken not too long ago. Nobunaga is relishing the prospect of destroying Billy in their rematch and restoring her pride... Only for Okita to interrupt her.
  Okita: I told you to keep it down, Nobunaga!
  Nobunaga: Just shut up and let me cackle in anticipation, Okita!
• Billy, Drake, and Nobunaga are about to settle their shooting competition ties (each one was able to take down sixty targets), only for Lancelot to interrupt by bringing in a minigun.
  • Naturally, Gudao gets to file the paperwork for the resulting damage.

Fragment 3

• Emiya is asked by Atalanta if Jack and Nursery Rhyme can help make Boudica's birthday cake. He's about to politely turn it down but Tamamo eagerly agrees and brings them inside. The usually cool and calm Emiya is internally screaming.
• Nursery Rhyme gets a bit of frosting on her nose and Tamamo playfully removes it with her finger and licks it. Jack does the same thing and Tamamo turns to Emiya with an amused and expecting stare.

Fragment 4

• Mashu is peer pressured into getting drunk on multiple Blue Hawaii with Francis Drake, Robin Hood, and Fergus Mac Roich.
• The group lost sight of her because they thought she went to the bathroom. Drake finds them waiting outside for Mashu to come out, but it winds up being Mata Hari. Robin and Drake then sprint down the hallway in a panic.
  Drake: You said she was in there!
  Robin: I thought she was! Shit, we have to find her!
• They find Mashu in Gudao's Room, but an enraged Kiyohime found them first. Fergus attempted to calm down Kiyohime.
  Fergus: Envy and jealousy are foolish emotions, Kiyohime. If you wish to be a good person for ma-
  Kiyohime: You will cease your advance, Fergus Mac Roich.

Fragment 5

• One of Vlad's knitting needles accidentally pierced an ottoman. He idly jokes that at least it's not the first one he's pierced.
• The end of the fragment starts off heartwarming, with Naomi reflecting on her Character Development and newfound friendship with Vlad and Medea, and looking forward to the new day... and then Nero bursts into the Clothing Department.
  "Greetings Roman Citizens! Your Empress has arrived with her requests for more fashionable outfits!"
  Naomi suddenly wished she had three cups of coffee on standby.

Fragment 6

• Mozart gets knocked out by Beowulf's training and Florence Nightingale inspects his condition. So what's her solution to wake the musician up? Whipping out A BONE SAW.
  Mozart: I'm fine! I'm fine! I insist!
• After the brutal training session with the Casters (which ended with several of them getting blasted into the nearby mountaintops), Beowulf gets a taste of his own medicine when Sanzang uses her Noble Phantasm to send him flying as well.
  • Throughout the session, Mashu had been casting charms to protect the Casters from any serious injuries. As it turns out, she did the same to Beowulf... except she casted it late, protecting the Berserker from the force of impact but leaving him vulnerable to Sanzang's attacks.

Fragment 9

• Arturia turned into Mysterious Heroine X and went on a rampage to hunt down the "saber-faces" in Chaldea.
  • MHX in general is this, since she declared herself the greatest Saber, and by that logic the most beautiful and best leader.
• Blackbeard was caught peeping in the women's shower/sauna room. He faces down an angry Drake calmly and fondles her breasts after being caught. He becomes the only injury during the incident without regrets. Even Drake begrudgingly respected his complete lack of fear.
• After MHX declares she will destroy everyone copying her, Nero points out she was born before Arturia, so Arturia is copying her.
• MHX insults Nero's taste in art and her singing, which reduced her her into a sobbing mess.
  Nero: M...My ar- My voice is... How dare you!
• Leonidas says this while surrounded by Irish Lancers:
  Leonidas: "I, King Leonidas, will meet your charge, Saber! Spartans! Prepare for glory!"
• Chavelier d'Eon attempts to distract MHX by wearing a "Saberface" mask, and everyone present in that scene thought it's not gonna work, until...
  MHX: What!? Another Saber-face!? Identify yourself and perish, fiend!
  • Fridge Brilliance kicks in when you remember d'Eon's "Looks of Loveliness/Beautiful Appearance" skill partially relies on clothing as described in their lore, and in gameplay, the skill forces opponents to target them for attacks.

Fragment 10

• Arturia gets a birthday present: Lancelot, with his Madness Enhancement permanently lifted (and then Retconned to a permanent downgrade to rank E). Everything is heartwarming, until Gudao asks one question.
  Gudao: ...you can still use the gatling gun, right...?

Fragment 11

• The chapter's opening is essentially in-story explanations for the frustrations one may feel while playing the Grand Order game. It ends with one of the Summoning Chamber's (aka the gacha's) more infamously-related memes:
  Gudao: Oh. Oh spectacular. More damn black keys...
• When Charles Babbage was summoned, all the Robots charged into the Summoning Room and started praising him as their "Omnissiah"
  Da Vinci: What do you think they're doing?
  Tesla: I do believe they are chanting
  Roman: Chant? As in, prayer chanting? Can robots even have a religion? I need to have a word with the Science Division on the separation of church and robot if this is the case.

Fragment 13

• Edmond Dantes tried to question Gabby in the beginning of the chapter, which lead to her response being a Groin Attack.
• Being trapped in a Chaldean elevator is as amusing as one would think it would be.
• Kiyohime completely misunderstood Dantes' buildup speech to ask why she's not more vengeful. She interrupts:
  Kiyohime: Are you trying to say that you spent several nights with my Gudao!? That you've come to declare romantic war with me and gloat over your conquests!?
• Beowulf's introduction to Dantes:
  Beowulf: I'm Beowulf. If you don't know my name or legend you're an idiot.
• The food fight scene:
  • Iskandar experiences a food fight for the first time. Tyler suggests throwing a cake for his first time, which he happily obliges. But, what did the King of Conquerors do? He threw an an entire, layered blueberry cake rather than a slice! He almost threw Waver's thermos of oatmeal next!
    Tyler: Broskander! Not the oatmeal! That's against like three articles in the Geneva Convention!
  • Jekyll accidentally drenched Mordred with his chicken soup when he dodges a falling apple.
  • Beowulf threw watermelons at the ceiling fan, effectively launching tactical nukes (raining sliced watermelons).

Fragment 14

• Gilgamesh meets Ozymandias. Their exchanges were hilarious, especially when Tamamo's is unwillingly involved.
  Ozymandias: I do not enjoy repeating myself, but very well. As pharaoh, I permit you to worship me
  Gilgamesh: Mongrel, you have no right to that tone when speaking to the King of Heroes. Know your place!
  Ozymandias: Ah, but my place rests atop all to be worshiped! I am the perfect pharaoh, the King of Kings, Ozymandias, and therefor above you King Gilgamesh! Isn't that right, sister Tamamo?
  Tamamo: *in the distance* Don't drag me into this and I'm not your sister!
  Ozymandias: Ah, my sister is quite embarrassed. I normally do not take an interest in heroes or mages, but this place is full of people worthy to worship me and spark my intrigue. Will you not join them, Gilgamesh?
  Gilgamesh: Do not address me like I am your equal, mongrel!
  Ozymandias: We have been over this. You are beneath me, but worry not as there is no shame in worshiping my greatness.
  Gilgamesh: No, you are beneath me!
  • Also, Gilgamesh was about to do something to Ozymandias' drink as they are about to toast for thier "mutual prosperity", but Astolfo was first worried that the pharaoh's drink might be poison that the paladin took the drink from Ozymandias and get Gilgamesh to force drink that in order to taste-test it... and it turns out to be his Potion of Youth as Gilgamesh suddenly turns into Ko-Gil. The King of Kings was really having a time of his life.
    Ozymandias: Oh? A failed attempt? How amusing! What is your name, fellow rider?
    Astolfo: I am Astolfo! Twelfth paladin of Charlemagne!
    Ozymandias: I will not forget this moment! You have earned my thanks, worthy hero! You have saved the King of Kings from outright humiliation! Indeed! I wish this moment to be eternal! Dear sister Tamamo, please acquire a camera to do just that!
    Tamamo: I am not your sister!

Fragment 15

• Gudao plays Mario Party with Tyler and Waver and almost wins, much to Tyler's dismay.
  Tyler: I thought you wanted to bond with us?
  Gudao: Is something wrong?
  Tyler: Is something wro- We're playing Mario Party. Mario. Party! This game stands with M-Kart, Monopoly, Dokapon Kingdom, and a few other titles as games that destroy friendships!
  Gudao: ... We've been playing it for half an hour and you only just now mention this?
  Waver: Because he was winning.
  Tyler: Shut up, Waver. That's not the point!
  • Becomes a Brick Joke in Fragment 22 when the Knights of the Round Table are found playing Monopoly and Mordred loses most of her money to Arturia.

Fragment 17

• Okita and Nobunaga as bickering friends:
  Okita: Nobunaga! How many times does Gudao have to tell you not to make your bombs in our shrine's- *coughs*
  Nobunaga: Ah! Okita! Don't get blood on my prank bomb components!
  Okita: What do you mean prank bomb!?
  Nobunaga: What else do you think I mean!? I'm gonna get that Blackbeard back like I swore!
  Okita: This better not be like the last one!
  Nobunaga: You can't tell me what to do! Become my retainer and I'll consider it!
  Okita: *coughs* As if!

Fragment 18

• Team MLG: Iskandar, Waver, and Tyler... They weren't suppose to be there. Well, because Iskandar thought it's going to be a curry tasting contest.
  • Also, they way the three tried to cook. Especially when Iskandar threw one slab of meat (without washing his hands) to the frying pan and cook it as steak. Even Tyler helps out Iskandar by adding onions in the pan.
    Tyler: Oh come on, bro. Don't be like that! If we can't compete against the top tiers cooks, we'll simply aim as bad as possible to be awesome as possible! Like those really bad movies people wa-
    Waver: Cooking and shitty movies breaking profit margins are not the same! I swear, you're worse than Flat sometimes.
  • Their curry: 360 No Scope. It's so spicy that EMIYA nearly choked and starts regretting his decision on taking the first bite of it... Then cue Tyler and the other gamers within the audience blowing their air horns.
  • Let's not forget the reason the curry was so spicy: it was made with Clocktower Dreadnought peppers, a bigger, badder, magically-enhanced version of the already infamously scalding Carolina Reaper peppers. The very same peppers that coat Iskandar's chips, which he's been joyfully eating throughout the competition. This horrifies the judges and causes EMIYA to ask himself if Iskandar's taste buds are completely dead.

Fragment 19

• Two days after caring for a bedridden Mashu, Gudao gets sick. Then... Enter Tamamo and Kiyohime in Sexy Nurse Outfits.

Fragment 20

• The Halloween Event:
  • Nero's "costume":
    Elizabeth: Um... Nero, what are you dressed up as?
    Nero: *in her toga* Isn't is obvious? I'm a great Roman Emperor!
    Janice: ...You're supposed to dress as something you're not for Hallowe-
    Nero: Umu~ I am! I am not an Empress, but an Emperor!
    Elizabeth: That's not how that wo-
    Nero: Not a bad idea, no? A clever play for one as clever as myself! And if you are to complain about anyone beign themselves, complain about the young servants who are still too cute for Hallowee-
    Elizabeth: You know what, never mind. Just, never mind.
  • When the four pirates play World of Warships. Drake is really enjoying this.
    Drake: *after successfully sink one of the enemy's warship* And the Spanish Armada slowly sinks again!
    Blackbeard: Uhuhu, Spain isn't in this game. Apparently they didn't participate in World War II.
    Drake: Pssh, I sunk something, that's what counts!
    • Also, the part when the enemy destroyer sunk Drake's battleship when they got distracted by something:
      Drake: Damnit! Which one of you ships did that!?
  • Mashu gets drunk again in the last part of the chapter, resulting in Gabby videotaping the drunken Mashu (in her "Dangerous Beast" costume) trying to make a move on the panicking Gudao as a form of blackmail.

Their Guiding Light

• The exchange between Da Vinci and EMIYA while working on the vehicle:
  Da Vinci: A shame you couldn't trace a vehicle, Emiya. You should look into that.
  EMIYA: Oh. Of course. I'll get right on that after I switch my origin to automotive.
• Arturia begins having flashbacks to Irisviel's driving in Fate/Zero when Mashu begins driving and trying to avoid a bunch of Soul Eaters. Not at all helped by Nobunaga taking potshots at the monsters while she and Mordred laugh like madmen, and Medusa joining in on their excitement of Mashu jumping a sand dune. It gets even better when it turns out Fou got so frightened he latched himself onto Gabby's face, much to Arturia, Jeanne, and Da Vinci's amusement.
• As Cursed Arm Hassan prepare to lead Gudao and his team to the Temple of Azrael to contact the first Hassan, transportation by Medusa's Pegasus and Astolfo's Hippogriff has been planned. But, Hassan believes that there's no room for him on the Hippogriff, Astolfo reassure him that he does have a seat for him. Next chapter, the Cursed Arm Hassan is being hung from the Hippogriff's talons by his arms, and he's uncomfortable about this, and Gudao feels concern for both Hassan and Mashu, who's still clinging to Gudao during the flight. And then when they spotted enemies in front of the temple, Astolfo decided to charge to battle midflight with his Hippogriff, much to his passengers' dismay.
  Gudao, Mashu, and Hassan: PUT US DOWN FIRST!
• After Mashu received a Big Damn Kiss from Gudao before the search team split, Gabby cheering for her along with a little teasing is hilarious:
  Gabby: About fucking time! Now let's get this show on the road so we can reunite you with your boyf-!
  Mashu: W-we're not-! It's secre- Gabby-san! Please don't tell Kiyohime and Tamamo! I don't want senpai to be murdered!
• Mordred's reaction to Lion King's Dun Stallion in the middle of fight, she sounded more concerned that Arturia never told her about it rather than the threat the horse imposed on them. Arturia was not amused.
  Mordred: Father, you never told us you owned a flying steed!
  Arturia: I never did, but now's not the time to discuss absurd notions!

Season 2

Fragment 22

• Gabby, Nitrocris, and even the Hundred Face Hassan, get distracted during their introduction tour to the gymnasium when they caught sight of Diarmuid and Fionn facing against Fergus and Cu in a volleyball game... Did I forget to mention that the Irish Servants are all SHIRTLESS?
• Astolfo greets a recently summoned Saber Gilles de Rais. He then tries to toss Gilles an apple, with more force than anticipated. Gilles dodges and the fruit hits Beowulf. While at first Gabby thinks a food fight has been avoided, Tota then brings out his infinite rice bag. Food Fight ensues.

Fragment 23

• Ozymandias is trying to treat everyone else as equals so that they'll like him more and so that he can prove he's better than Gilgamesh, and the first person he comes across are Jeanne and Arturia. He tries to reassure Arturia that she's better than the Lion King, but calls attention to her assets, leaving notable discontent in Arturia. Jeanne tries to reassure her, to no avail (especially since she's also rather gifted).

Fragment 25

• Altera and Romulus try to help Caesar lose weight so he could win Cleopatra over again. How? By using Spartacus to chase Caesar while Altera supervises from the back. Let's not forget that Caesar has to carry Romulus during the chase.
  • It's also funny seeing Altera slipping into shades of Drill Sergeant Nasty when she is normally a very quiet and stoic individual on or off the battlefield.

Fragment 26

• When Beowulf, again, was aboout to cause another food fight, we hear someone in the background saying "Think of the children!" and "I'm too young to pie!". Even Joan Alter grins on that one. Good thing Tyler and his team was able to stop him by throwing fruits at him with a preemptive strike, especially Iskandar's entire double layered cake.
• Blackbeard's girlish screaming as he's chased by a furious Heracles, who's using a robot as a weapon. While Illya tries to calm him down and Kuro watches in amusement, Joan Alter only has one thought in her head:
  Joan: This is the real Chaldea...? What kind of wild menagerie am I trying to be a part of?
• Also, the young girls started playing tag. What's funny? Well, Heracles is it... and his closest target is Blackbeard, much to the pirate's despair.
  Blackbeard: *starts running for his life as Heracles chases after him* How did you drag me into this, Illya!? Why me!? Why. Always. Me!? This is bull shiiiii-sh kebabs!
• The fact that Blackbeard, for once, was actually innocent. It was Nobunaga who stole the other pirates' panties.

Fragment 27

• Boudica suffers from Cuteness Overload and gives Medea Lily a Marshmallow Hell.
• Saint Martha struggles throughout the entire chapter with keeping her prim and proper image, and slips completely at the end.
• Waver still dislikes his past self.
• Mordred plays blackjack with Arturia Lily and Shirou, while completely stunned by how adorable her father has become.
  Arturia Lily: Hit or stay, Mordred?
  Mordred: ... hit me, father. Or someone else. Just hit me awake.
  • Also, Mordred calls EMIYA "Mama Shirou". This instantly makes all of the Round Table Knights, especially Bedivere and Gawain, explode with laughter.
• Jeanne and Martha's teasing devolves into the two saints bickering like children to the point where they both complain to Amakusa. Seeing the Big Bad of Fate/Apocrypha thrust into the role of Only Sane Man and asking the Lord for strength is priceless, especially if you consider it karmic.

Fragment 28

• Joan's attempt on giving gifts: Her gift to Arturia is a guidebook entitled "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic", and Math Books for Illya and Kuro.
• Alexander: Christmas is about being jovial and drinking good alcohol! That's what Tyler says!
  • And then he summoned his steed, Bucephalus in Chaldea, which won Arturia's attention.
• Gudao thought the French citizens were saying nice things to him, Jeanne, and Joan as they shop. But he wasn't aware that the citizens misunderstood him and Jeanne as couples with Joan as their daughter.
  Jeanne: Y-Yes. Only nice things.
  Amakusa: *in spiritual form* Shall I help translate for you, Gudao?
  Jeanne: D-Don't you dare, Amakusa!
• Everyone's reaction to Arturia Santa Alter's cameo is complete and utter confusion, stemming from a combination of her not trying to murder them on sight, her state of dress, her attitude towards being a Santa, and most of all the fact she's just casually eating a bunch of fried chicken while still being serious all throughout their conversation.

Fragment 29

• Fou is given a christmas sweater and it seems very uncomfortable. It's funny seeing the former Primate Murder struggle with a sweater.
• Boudica is apologizing profusely to an embarrassed Medea for her reaction to Medea Lily in Fragment 27.
• Ruby left a mistletoe in a location, and the unfortunate victims are Cú Chulainn and EMIYA, to the delight of Ishtar.
  EMIYA: Absolutely not, Rin!
  Cú Chulainn: Like hell I'm kissing this archer bastard!
  • And then Cú literally walks over to Arturia, picks her up, and plops her down under the mistletoe next to EMIYA, both of whom start blushing heavily while Ishtar, Illya and Chloe show some disappointment/envy.
• Joan alter wearing a gorgeous dress, much to her consternation. And then the alter retorts by asking why does a saint like Jeanne has such a sexy dress. It quickly snowballs into the two trying to out-embarrass each other, but Jeanne ends up coming out victorious by unveiling a locket given by the younger Santa Joan.
  To my kind, beautiful sister! ~Love, Joan
  (Adult) Joan: I loathe all of you... so very much.
  • And then the child Servants come in to hug Joan. At this point the poor Avenger gives up.

Fragment 30

• Near the end, Tamamo decided to show off her Polygamist Castration Fist to Kiyohime as part of restoring their friendship. So, the two decide to find a potential target, and Fergus, who was at the gym impressing some female staff, overheard them. He quickly makes his way to the exit, trying to protect his groin.

Fragment 31

• Hans has to be Kiyohime's butler for this weekend as repercussion for stepping out of line from the previous chapter. Yep, full-on butler uniform with a polka-dotted bowtie... and he must address her as "Beautiful Maiden Kiyohime".
• The panicking Dr. Roman when he accidently called Mordred a lost girl.
  Dr. Roman: Oh heavens! Mordred, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! It was a mistake! Someone save me from Mordred!
• And just as he's about to run away, he sees Da Vinci standing right in front of him... with his laptop... that contains a message from his Internet Idol... revealing Roman had asked for lewd pics.

  Dr. Roman: Someone save me from Da Vinci!
  Da Vinci: Save you~? Oh, but Roman… I have a reward for you too! Now… Come with me…
  Dr. Roman: Ouch, Da Vinci! This really hurts! At least grab my collar! It hurts you know!

  • And when Da Vinci starts dragging doctor away, Nightingale appears after hearing Roman's distress
    Nightingale: I knew I heard someone in pain just now. Doctor Roman, I will administer anesthetic for you. Hold still or I will have to use force.
    Dr. Roman: No! I take that back! I'm fine, Nightingale, I swear!
  • The mental conversation between Jekyll and Hyde. Hyde's dialogue in general is just hilarious. Especially how Hyde's getting really annoyed of Jekyll's obliviousness regarding his feelings for Mordred that he just want Jekyll to hurry up and get on with it.
  • The Knights of the Round Table finally get to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail ... and Gawain is traumatised about the Killer Rabbit scene that he get easily startled by Fou afterward.

Fragment 32

• The exhausted Tyler completely rolls with the whole "being held in an armlock by the Cursed Arm Hassan" and understands that Serenity really wants to keep her robot friend that he's been trying to find for Da Vinci and Babbage.
• Tyler and Anton tried to help Serenity to figure out Rena's functions, and then Da Vinci shows up, wondering what the two men are doing with her project...
  Anton: Da Vinci… I assure you, there's a legitimate reason that your project is currently-
  Tyler: *panicking* Oh shit, Da Vinci! It's not what you think I swear to god!
• Tyler mentioned that Kintoki and Iskandar broke the couch by doing a dance with a Barbra Streisand song from Just Dance 3.
• Also, Tyler passing out from the sight of needles.

Fragment 33

• Ozymandias is so overjoyed to meet Karna.
  Tamamo: Careful, Karna... he might make you his brother or son.
• Nobunaga is nearly causing havoc to Robin Hood and Elizabeth in the cafeteria, armed with paintball gun. Too bad Robin got shot twice with pink paintball spatter on his torso
  Nobunaga: I got plenty of rounds, Green Archer… Don't tempt me to recolor your clothes for the day
  Elizabeth: *still hiding behind Robin Hood* Someone help my manager!
  • And then Rena appears, armed with two launchers, and shots heavy barrages of paintball at the Demon Archer.
    Rena: This is for the stupid, stupid glitter bomb of yours two days ago!
  • Edison's summoning. Heartwarming for Karna and Helena to be reunited with him. What's funny? Tesla's present there. And he is NOT happy about this.
    Tesla: It appears I won't be hearing the end of this one either... as much I would demand to! Why did it have to be you who answered!?
    Edison: You! What are you doing here!?
    Tesla: Helping Chaldea summon new servants to our cause, of course. As proper of a generous, superior genius.
    Edison: Chaldea!? Are you saying I have to work with you, Tesla!?
    Tesla: Don't think I'm happy with this outcome either, Edison!
    *** Gabby's reaction to Edison's appearance.

    Gabby: ...that's Edison? I thought they were kidding about the lion thing...
    • and then,
      Oops! My hand slipped!
      Oh dear, sorry about my fist!
      Gabby: Should I call Scathach or… I… maybe- no… can I even call this a fight? They're slapping each other…

Fragment 34

• Spartacus decorating the Hearth that the Berserkers reside in.
  Spartacus: The Galea looks good near the fireplace! Almost as great as the wyvern head!
  • Let's not forget his snores.

Fragment 37

• Karna has been repeatedly beating Siegfried in Poker while accompanying him in case they run into Byrnhildr. Siegfried thinks he's won with a straight flush, only to be defeated soundly by Karna getting a royal flush.
• Siegfried and Jeanne easily get a hole-in-one when playing Mini Golf with Astolfo, but the paladin's swing makes his golf ball return to the exact same spot he hit.
• The prize for Ozymandias' game at the festival turns out to be Sphinx kittens, quickly attracting an enamored audience (and causing Nitocris to faint from Cuteness Proximity), much to Ozymandias' delight and Gilgamesh's chagrin. Jeanne's revelation is the icing on the cake.
  Jeanne: Do you not know, Ozymandias? Modern society is enamored by kittens. You've just won plenty of adoration.
  Ozymandias: Oh? (directs a triumphant smirk towards Gilgamesh, no doubt reminding him of their argument from Fragment 23)
  Gilgamesh's face of outrage and bewilderment would be the talk of Chaldea for days.
• Near the chapter's end, Siegfried casually trips Nobunaga with Balmung, causing the warlord to fall right into her own cake bomb.

Fragment 38

• Gawain catches Lancelot staring at the beach to make sure no one is looking at Mashu the wrong way, and assures him that his daughterwill probably be fine. But he notices Lancelot is still staring at the beach, and quickly catches on.
  Gawain: Lancelot, are you eyeing scantily clad maidens?
  Lancelot: Ye-I mean no!...please don't tell Mashu.
  (The other knights are laughing.)
• Shortly afterwards, Bedivere gets a little overdramatic.
  Bedivere: Then onwards we shall sail! To the islands that dot the horizons! Er… I mean to say, as close as we can get to the illusionary bounded field hiding the cavern's lining. I think it best we don't damage her majesty's Prydwen II on its maiden voyage.
• Nobunaga and Okita are riding in a canoe, with the chibi Nobus rowing. Two of them fall overboard, though, and the other Chibi Nobus immediately turn the canoe around to rescue them...while the ones that fell overboard start re-enacting a scene from Titanic. Then Nobu puts a stop to the whole thing by pulling them onboard, pointing out how the oar they fell out with had enough room for both of them anyway.
• Jeanne and Joan continue to deliver hilarity.
  Jeanne: Joan! Why are you being so difficult? You can't lie to me! I know you love the ocean as much as I do!
  Joan: I can walk on my own, Jeanne! I was considering swimming later! Let me get back to my drink!
  Jeanne: Please, Joan! I just want to enjoy a small swim with my little sister~! Is that so bad?
  Joan: It can be! But I want to enjoy my drink with my friends first!
  (Jeanne suddenly stares back at her with glee and excitement.)
  Joan: ...What? What's with that damn look?
  Jeanne: You didn't deny it this time! I got to call you my little sister without any denial!
  Joan: N-No! You got it all wrong! I-I was just not paying attention, that's all!
  Jeanne: You've made your older sister so happy! Thank you, Joan!
  In defeat, [Joan] allowed her sister to drag her to the ocean.
• A bit further away, Fran is giving Anton a bridal carry so his prosthetic leg won't get damaged in the water, much to his embarrassment. Martha doesn't help matters by pointing out how backwards this is.
• Mordred gets distracted by how skillfully Medusa rides a wave...and ends up wiping out as a result.
  • It doesn't end there, though. When she comes back to the shore afterwards, she realizes belatedly that she lost her bikini top. Thankfully, Jekyll managed to get it back for her...but she ends up pressing herself up against him to make it easier for her to tie it back on. And then Jekyll points out she could have just asked him to tie it on or at least put on her armor to cover herself. Mordred immediately goes redder and calls him out on not suggesting this sooner, before splashing him in revenge.

Fragment 40

• Nightingale takes Lifeguard Duty far too seriously. She heard a distant cry for help from one of the employees on the shore (they're actually joking with each other), and when they noticed the female Berserker sprinting across them with an inner tube and her first aid kit, their "cries for help" were replaced with horrified realization and shrieks.

Fragment 41

• Ishtar decides to play cupid for Valentine's day and some of the servants have pretty amusing interactions.
  • The goddess tried to shoot the arrows at Anishka to choose one of the two male employees... and those two make employees looked at each other... and...
    Mata Hari: H-How did you miss!?
    Ishtar: I-It's not like I was distracted or anything!
    Mata Hari: ...But you're the archer!
  • Mordred is tricked by Mata Hari into playing a Pocky game with Jekyll. As soon as she's told the purpose of the game she gets red as her swimsuit.
  • Nightingale is held by the child servants to stop her from examining a couple. And when Jackie distracts her by pretending to be injured, Nightingale decides she's going to examine Jackie.
  • Mashu ruins Lancelot's attempt at flirting with Nitocris.
  • And Ishtar, again, misses her love shot and hits Spartacus. Poor Romulus.

Fragment 42

• Medb being summoned to Chaldea and finding Cu, much to his annoyance.
  Medb: *still embracing Cu* I was so excited when I found out I got summoned here! No hard feelings, right? Oh~! I hope we get to pick up where we left off!
  Cu: We didn't leave off anywhere...
• After presenting a pretty good fight against Valeria, Tyler accidentally knocks himself out. His next responses are quite funny.
  Tyler: *To Helena* Momma...? Momma is that you?
  El-Melloi II: She's not your mom Tyler. Now, how many fingers I'm holding up?
  Tyler: Pineapple...?
  * As he's being carried by Iskandar* Tyler: Wait...! No! I don't wanna leave Six Flags yet!
  • And the next fight between Tesla and Edison begins and ends with a Double Knockout, much to Helena's consternation.

Fragment 43

• Mozart watched in horror when he's about to hear Nero and Elizabeth's Idol debut, and Robin Hood definitely needed a drink for this.

Fragment 44

• The arguments between two robots:
  Rena: What the -BLEEP- do you mean I'm too young for Petrol HL-533-P!? I want tasty oil!
  Lex: Then you can have anything up to ML-110. Your processors are too inexperienced to handle the HL series.
  Rena: This is an outrage! I demand to speak with your manager!
  Lex: I am the manager, you upstart! Back In my day, the new metal on the network would show proper respect and conduct to the elder models! The software protocols are slipping!
  Rena: No~! You're just jealous I'm a newer, sleeker model! Nyeeeeeeh~!

Fragment 45

• Ozymandias's entertainment. From the Sphinx kitten and the Medjed doing a reenactment of Pac-Man to the Mummies doing Michael Jackson's Thriller dance.

Fragment 46

• Anything involving Hyde at the 46th Fragment:
  • Rather than drinking the elixer to switch place with Jekyll, Hyde decided to wander around Chaldea to have fun.
  • Hyde making Dr. Roman nervous in his presence. And when Doctor felt like he's safe as Hyde was about to leave, Hyde pulls a Jump Scare with a Boo!, which nearly gave Roman a heart attack.
  • Hyde enjoying munching on leftovers and candies from the cafeteria.
  • Hyde nearly freaking out some of the employess whenever he talks to himself.
    Hyde: What? You never seen someone talk to themselves before?
    Employee: H-Hyde?!
    Hyde: *rolls his eyes* Nooo... Caster-class. Mary friggin' Poppins, at your serv- Of course I'm Hyde, you nitwit. Now move along before I get annoyed.
    • Also this bit with Saint George
      Hyde: Really? Have I warranted this already for walking to the cafeteria and eating leftovers? What next? Arrest warrant for scuffing Jekyll's shoes?
  • Hyde meeting Arthur, who originally recognized the Berserker's Werewolf form.
    Arthur: I see. You're a lot different from the Hyde I encountered last time.
    Hyde: *rolls his eyes* Ah. Well you see... I got myself a shave to look prim and proper before meeting with-
    Gawain: Lose the sarcasm, Hyde.
    Hyde: Down, boy. I was trying to lighten the mood...
  • After Hyde successfully told Mordred about Jekyll's true feelings for her, he drank his elixir and then punched himself out cold before Jekyll resurfaced. Unfortunately, he missed the timing and ended up sharing some of the pain.
  • As Hyde returns to Jekyll's mind, decided to leave him and Mordred alone to their privacy as they make up. What does Edward Hyde now do in this mindscape! "Let's go with a Pyramid today!" Yes. Hyde transformed his mindscape into a pyramid theme with a huge banquet and being surrounded by his harem of beatiful Egyptian ladies.
  • Related to the above, Hyde keeps pretending that he's left in the dark whenever he switches with Jekyll, both to hide his hobbies and guilt-trip Jekyll.

Fragment 47

• Iskandar wants Tyler to get over his arachnophobia by placing a fake spider on the ground. That didn't help much as Tyler went on a full panic when he noticed it that he climbed to the top shelf like a frightened cat. To make things even funnier, Waver telekinetically moved the plastic spider, as if it was real. Plus, Tyler's dialogue is just hilarious:
  "Waver get us out of here then Burn. The. Room. Down!"
  "It's not funny! Why the hell can't Solomon vaporize spiders!? Why humans!? Look at that damn thing!"
  "Multiple eyes that stare into your soul from the ceiling! Demons I tell you! DEMONS!"
• Cu, Blackbeard, and Mordred playing Cards Against Humanity in the other room, and from the sound of laughter, they're really enjoying it.
• At the end, the employees in the Game Room finally made it through the 36 straight hours of playing. In the aftermath, all of them are scattered around in complete exhaustion. Kintoki already a mustache on passed-out Tyler's face with a permanent marker. As Tyler woke up for a few minutes, he promptly passed out again as he fell face first into his plate of ice cream.

Redemption from Sin

Prologue

• Chaldea's Ishtar arguing with Babylonia's Ishtar is quite amusing.

Chapter I

• After making an impressive entrance, Merlin is instantly mauled by an angry Fou. Everyone present just watches in amusement at this turn of events.

Chapter II

• Siduri, king Gilgamesh's secretary, tends to write overtly flattering descriptions of her king while writing her reports.

Chapter III

• When Chaldea's Gilgamesh is left in charge of Uruk's affairs for some time by his Caster counterpart, he screams in fury DAMN YOU!

Chapter IV

• As a callback to the previous chapter, when King Gilgamesh returns, he finds out his counterpart left the most trivial matters for him. King Gil's response: DAMN YOU!

Chapter V

• Arturia and her knights get payback on Merlin for all the pranks he pulled on them in the past by dumping cold water and glitter powder on him. Then Fou mauls him again.

Chapter IX

• Ereshkigal. Full stop. She's the most dorky goddess of death you will ever meet. Even Ishtar is surprised by her sister's attitude.

Epilogue

• The Epilogue's author notes: in reference to Grand Order's gameplay mechanics, Gudao has achieved Bond Level 10 with Gilgamesh thanks to reuniting him with Enkidu, prompting the King of Heroes to finally accept him fully as a Master, the closest thing to friendship Gil's pride will permit. Gabby, who Gil almost never obeys unless it's convenient or suits his whim? "Sorry, you're still like 1."

Season 3

Fragment 48

• After the heartwarming scene between the sisters, a crying Asterios arrives late and pulls all of them into a hug. Euryale and Stheno are complaining it's already over but he doesn't hear them.

Fragment 50

• Ishtar reminds Gilgamesh that the deal between him and her is still valid: She gets 20% of all gem-related items from the Gate of Babylon.
  • The deal was brokered in Redemption from Sin by Inanna and King Gil, but because both of them got those memorial essences, it technically carries on to Chaldea. Gilgamesh is furious with himself.
• Gilgamesh and Enkidu, in perfect coordination, move a giant jenga piece onto the top of the pile. Jaguarman gets really excited about the teamwork and winds up jumping on Waver to do the same thing... which fails miserably.
• The volleyball match between the Egyptians and the Urukians:
  • Ozymandias wanted his team title to be The Glorious and Perfect Pharaohs Ozymandias, Cleopatra, and Nitocris who blesses Chaldea with their lasting presence, but because of the length, Nitocris had to shorten it to Glory of the Nile instead.
  • As soon as the match starts, Gilgamesh and Ozymandias both move for the ball... causing it to burst when they both hit it at the same time.
    Gudao: ...I'll just make sure to reinforce all the other balls frome here on.
  • The match escalates to the point that both teams exploit the obvious loopholes in the rules and start using their Servant skills, weapons, familiars, and Noble Phantasms. This pretty much turning the court into a warzone.
    Gabrielle: What the hell kind of volleyball is this!?
    Random Audience Member: The best kind!
  • Ishtar then accidentally knocks the ball out of bounds, causing it to bean Cu in the head knocking him down.
    Illya: Ahhh! Rin killed a Lancer!
    • Medb proceeds to try to provide him with "CPR".
  • After enduring taunts from Nitocris and Cleopatra, Ishtar loses her temper and summons the Bull of Heaven, Gugalanna... only to summon a tiny cute bull no larger than the volleyball, who happily and confusedly asks why Ishtar's so upset. Even better, the Bull proves to be a serious boon to the Urukian side anyways!
  • After losing the match, Ozymandias owns the outcome with his usual bombastic aplomb, and completely humiliates Gilgamesh for the third time running: he serves his week-long sentence as Gilgamesh's servant while wearing a French Maid uniform (clearly cut for a woman) and bringing Astolfo along for the ride, making Gil extremely uncomfortable in the process.

Fragment 51

• The "Superfight" game with Cursed Arm Hassan and the Prototype Fragment Servants:
  • Cursed Arm Hassan's Raccoon who is literally afraid of its own shadow but can only be killed by a shot to the head VS Arash's Hercules who is armed with a machete and is walking 12 kids on leashes.
    • Cursed Arm refers to Arash's Hercules as if it was the Heroic Spirit version. Humorous enough, but what makes it funnier is that in fic, Heracles walking 12 children on leashes is entirely plausible.
  • Paracelsus' cards:
    Paracelsus: ...How am I supposed to win? I have an English Longbowman with a venomous bite but no depth perception!

Fragment 52

• Kuro winds up winning the exact same car Irisviel got as a gift in another life. Kiritsugu and Arturia are horrified.
• Kuro attempted to trick Emiya into thinking she can use Unlimited Blade Works, but Nursery Rhyme flubs her spells and winds up summoning a field of candy instead.

Fragment 54

• Quetzalcoatl, Goddess of Lucha Libre, arrives and breaks the traditional summoning suspicion by jumping on Gabrielle with excitement.
• Quetzalcoatl's response to seeing Merlin is deliver an overdue promise... by suplexing him for his treachery in Redemption from Sin.
• Quetzalcoatl meets Artemis, who has declared herself goddessmother of Jackie and Alice. Atalanta covers her face in embarrassment at her patron goddess' hamminess.
• Quetzalcoatl and Jaguarman dance the Samba with Tyler and Waver, respectively, much to the latter's embarrassment since he can't dance.
  • Tyler pushed Waver under the bus by volunteering him without permission.

Fragment 55

• Ibaraki gets annoyed about Robin talking to Shiki rather than greeting her and immediately demands "tribute". Robin casually calls for Lex to bring candy bars, which is enough to calm her down.
• When Robin announces Elizabeth's first live broadcast is beginning, everyone in the cafeteria immediately is terrified. Iskander even dives under a table. Needless to say, they're all surprised when her singing turns out to be great.
• Mozart and Sanson catch each other tapping their feet to Elizabeth's singing. They immediately agree that they didn't see anything.
• While drinking with his friends, Robin brings up that Elizabeth says she'll hook him up with a perfect fan so they can "cuddle, cuddle more, and exchange endless praise about the best idol". They all laugh at the idea of Robin cuddling. Even Robin himself.

Fragment 57

• Xuanzang was reaching for some snacks from Anishka when an automaton bird snatches it from her. She believes it's Buddha sending a message that she's on the wrong track. She covers her face in shame but the bird winds up dropping the bag back into her lap because automatons can't eat regular food.
  • "Buddha is sending confusing messages."
• King Hassan attempts to lecture Hundred Face for losing her composure during a game of chess. However, the intimidation factor is slightly undercut by him sipping from a milkshake.

Fragment 58

• Phantom of the Opera believes Gabby is Christine due to his mental pollution, but Gabby's singing is so bad, it actually snaps him out of it.
• Mephistopheles uses Spartacus as a means to get the Peacekeepers off of Nobunaga after she pranks them with a bomb.
• Okita and Nobunaga get into a fight that sounds awkwardly like a married couple going through rough times.

Fragment 61

• Nitocris tries to make a cake for her fellow egyptians. Adorkable antics ensue.
  • And when Boudica finds her attempting to cook, Nitocris hides in embarrassment under a blanket and calls herself Medjed.

Fragment 62

• Hector falls asleep after dinner and winds up sleeping there until the next morning.
• Nursery Rhyme accidentally makes a mad lib entry that is extremely accurate to Gabby's perversion.

Fragment 65

• Angra Mainyu finds himself taken by Jeanne Alter and lets loose a Freudian Slip when he tries to give a decent compliment. Jeanne Alter punches him across the cafeteria and into the wall.
  Angra Mainyu: I'd love to bury my head in those evil thighs.
• The three Avengers find themselves on a sortie and facing down a Spriggan. As Dantes and Jeanne Alter gear up for combat, Angra Mainyu's already making for the hills and Dantes has to drag him back.
• Spartacus thinks Angra Mainyu is "oppressing" Kuro and Illya and thus lifts him into the air. The girls quickly try to explain he was just talking to them, and Angra pipes in that if anyone is oppressing somebody right now, it's Spartacus. The realization he's oppressing someone weaker than him breaks Spartacus and he runs off, leading Boudica to chase after him.
  Spartacus: I've become an oppressor!
• Angra Mainyu being addicted to the Dark Souls series, and dying sixteen times. Even funnier, his and Tyler's shouting while playing almost made Dantes and Mata Hari assume that the employee is being attacked by the Avenger Servant.
  • Angra got his hands on an RPG that lets him be as evil as he wants. On his tumblr, the author stated it could be any one of many morally decisive games, but in response to a guess that it was Undertale, he admitted that Angra would've found meeting Chara and selling them Frisk's soul to be quite amusing.

Fragment 66

• Gugalanna happily meets Babe. Their excitement wakes up Fou, who gives them a glare that silences them, asserting his superiority as the alpha pet.
• Raikou puts Anishka through Marshmallow Hell repeatedly.
• Boudica goes to visit the Camelot room and accidentally catches the male knights in swimsuits and without shirts. They quickly to cater to her in their ambiguously flirty and chivalrous mannerisms.
  • The knights later come to pamper Boudica again but Naomi jokingly points out it sounds a lot more scandalous than that.
  • The knights deciding that since Arturia and Mordred are the King and Prince respectively that Emiya and Jekyll are to be the queen and princess.

Fragment 68

• Raikou reporting an emergency to Okita: Kintoki and Shuten were holding hands while having a pleasant conversation at the beach.
• A furious Ishtar chases after Quetzalcoatl (who had stolen her bikini top) on her flying boat after her Quetzalcoatlus. The pursuit ends when Quetzalcoatl turns, does a barrel roll stunt mid-air and snags Ishtar's bottom, making the now naked goddess fall to the water in embarrassment.
• Hijikata recalls how, a jealous Nero tossed a tomato in Elizabeth's direction, only for Robin to take the shot instead. Elizabeth then started acting as if Robin had been shot, despite his insistence that he was fine. Food fight ensues.
• Drake ruins a moment between Hijikata and Okita by appearing with her boat. Then a disguised Angra Mainyu scares Drake, making her scream like a princess and falling overboard (thanks to her fear of ghosts).
  • Before Drake has the chance to chase him, he informs her of two things. One, that it was Blackbeard who gave him the costume and told him about Drake's fear, and two, that it was Worth It.
  • While Angra swims like hell to escape the angry rider, Hijikata and Okita say they didn't see anything.

Fragment 69

• Angra makes a Double Entendre after Cu describes how his new sparring challenge with Li Shuwen went.
  Angra: "So you broke the tie by thrusting your lance into Li's hole?"
• Tamamo and Kiyohime literally drag Osakabehime out of her room to take her to the beach, despite her screams of protest.
• Cu's "Lancer Luck" and losing streak against Sabers is still biting him in the ass even at Chaldea: after helping Medb de-stress Gabby with a threesome, he finds out that despite being one of the primary objects of Medb's lust for most of her life, now that she's tasted him, he's still second best compared to her boyfriend Fergus, which burns his pride severely. That Scathach finds out later and rubs it in by laughing at his disappointment really doesn't help.

Fragment 70

• Any scenes that involved with Angra Mainyu
  • YIPPEE KI-YAY, MOTHER FUCKER!
  • and just when Avenger was celebrating when he thought he landed a finishing blow at the enemy... only for the demon to rise back... looking really pissed. So what's his next strategy?
    Hijikata: What are you doing!? Stop running and fight, coward! Keep retreating, and I'll kill you myself!
    Angra: I don't go for the greedy swing, dumbass! I'm not retreating either! I'm repositioning!
    • And during that scene, Asako still looks dumbfounded while her primary male personality, Zayd, laughs at the Avenger with Beowulf.
• Yedda, the youngest member of Hundred Face's gestalt, addresses King Hassan as "Grandpa Hassan", a subtle reference to the fancomics by Eirri. Asako (the gestalt's primary face), Cursed Arm, and Serenity all freeze in utter terror... only for King Hassan to gently permit Yedda's irreverence. He then instantly warns Asako that heads will literally roll should any other Hassan (including her 99 other personalities) use that nickname.

Fragment 71

• Nursery Rhyme takes her tea parties a bit too seriously, all but flipping out over Asterios and Enkidu preferring to play with butterflies over sitting at the table.
  • Janna (Jeanne Alter Santa Lily) likes to use big words... but she can't always pronounce them, much to her chagrin.
• Boudica apparently once attempted to give Gawain cooking lessons. The knight somehow managed to set his spaghetti on fire. Which, as Fran mentally points out, is supposed to be boiled.

Fragment 72

• Mephistopheles, Nobunaga, and Merlin all conspire to forcibly convert Shakespeare's newest play from a tragedy into a comedy, with their efforts aided by random accidents along the way. Indeed, the author's insights state that the main premise of this fragment was to give the Bard a taste of his own medicine. Every time something goes wrong, it sends him further into fury and fits. There are too many to list, but here are some highlights:
  • A shipping crate falls on one of the extras (only one of Hundred Face's bodies, thankfully), splitting open to reveal a pile of Fou plushies created by Medea and Naomi - even Fou himself is confused, but it gives everyone a great laugh.
  • Yedda gets trapped on stage by her dress getting caught on the set. She manages to successfully hide for most of the scene, until Phantom's cape causes her to sneeze and knock over the bush piece she was hiding behind. She quickly flees the stage, and Mata Hari and Arash manage to salvage the moment brilliantly.
  • An audio track for Arash and Mata Hari's characters to be cuddling romantically is somehow replaced with a track of two lovers absolutely having at it, and the Hassan manning the sound booth promptly presents Shakespeare with a forged note confirming the "authorization" of the replacement track. The humor quickly vanishes when the Bard decides to stop playing around and orders Asako to lock down the backstage area.
  • The culprits manage to trigger one final trap as they're captured, ultimately resulting in the sprinklers going off and slicking up the stage, which manages to completely derail the finale: Mata Hari slips and crashes into Arash's lips, which quickly ceases to be accidental.

Fragment 74

• Gilles attempts to wake a sleeping Janna, only to get poked in the eyes for his trouble.
• Joan is still embarrassed about Counterfeit!Brynhildr and is clearly uncomfortable being near the real thing, much to Brynhildr's confusion. When she finds out, she's understandably mortified and Paracelsus, sympathetic, hands her a pina colada to wash away the memory.

Fragment 75

• Ereshkigal finally is summoned, and she's still the most Adorkable Tsundere Goddess of death you'll ever meet.
• Ereshkigal gets to see the current form of Gugalunna.
• Artemis interrupts the talk between Ereshkigal and the Gorgon twins and hugs them like they were stuffed animals.

Who We Are

• The way the crowd rooting for Merlin going one-on-one against Goetia
  Get him, Merlin!
  I can't believe I'm cheering for that pranking asshole!
  Is he even hurting Goetia?
  Who cares, he's doing something!
  KICK HIS ASS!
• When the allied servants arrive to help out Chaldea's fight with the Demon Pillars, the allied Mordred starts mocking the Chaldean Servants for having so much trouble...only to find that their Chaldean counterpart was among those captured.
• This wonderfully sweet moment between David and Roman:
  David: Da Vinci's right, Roman. I've come to realize you're quite the unbelievable idiot... Pretty selfish, unbelievably vulgar, a good-for-nothing womanizer... Like Father, Like Son, huh?
  Roman: (Tearful Smile) ...I learned from the worst.

Equilibrium

• It turns out that the UN summoned their own Edison. Tesla is far from amused.
• Martha summoning Tarasque to break down a reinforced door. When the dragon realizes Martha was about to do, it quickly begs in perfect English, that he could just tackle it. Then Martha hits him into it anyway.
• As the highspeed task force leaves Area 51, two spectators watch them fly off and believe they finally saw aliens.
  • It later turns out that there are now Conspiracy Theories about how the Vigil is working with aliens... and the Vigil is perfectly fine with this, since it serves as a Red Herring for what the Vigil is actually doing (i.e. summoning Servants)
• Gilgamesh getting revenge for the deal between King Gil and Ishtar in Babylon, by using Exact Words to justify diverting most of it to pay for Chaldea's independence. He tops it off by borrowing a certain priest's catch phrase.
  Gilgamesh: Rejoice, Goddess Ishtar! You have proven your newfound benevolence and kindness by buying Chaldea's freedom with your gems!
• A dignified group of mages descend from a plane as they walk to Chaldea... and then one sinks in a deep snowbank. It turns out to be Flat Escardos, who's just delighted to be in Antarctica, with the Iron Giant and his beloved professor.
• As heartwarming as it is to find the Chaldea Anniversary Craft Essence, Da Vinci remembers that Roman was pinching her bottom at the back of the photo.

Season 4

Fragment 76

• Astolfo and Flat ride through Chaldea's halls on the former's Hippogriff. Fou can only apologize to the poor Phantasmal for its plight.
• Quetzalcoatl is babysitting some of the kids but she's understandably more excited about ""¡Mucha Lucha!"" then they are. She even says Yedda can be her side kick: Hassan of Lucha.
• Between Chaldea's usual antics and the mountain of paperwork the Clock Tower team uses, Vernier is in desperate need of Paracelsus's Sangria.
• Fou and Mister Sprinkles have a fight over the rights to be Chaldea's alpha. A few highlights include:
  • For starters, the fact that Mister Sprinkles is just as prideful as Ozymandias is. He even treats his given name as a royal title!
  • Xuanzang and Geronimo find them and think they're playing.
  • Babe and Gugalanna come in and ask what they're doing. Fou says the other kittens are bullying him and it winds up turning the tide of the fight back to his side.
• Fou realizes he can still hurt Merlin by biting him.

Fragment 77

• Osakabehime dissapears on Tamamo and Kiyohime yet again.
  Tamamo: I'll snare her to the seat next time!
• The first thing that Marie looks up on her new iPad, amidst warnings from her salon staff about the dangers of the Internet? Cat videos!
• Marie greets Chaldea's newcomers (including a certain Meuniere) in the most appropriate way possible: "Wassup, my Homies~?"

Fragment 78

• Gabby announces via app that a new Servant has been summoned, but does not reveal who it was. Flat guesses "Colonel Mustard, with the candlestick in the library". Tyler guesses it's John Cena.
  • In the same chat, apparently Artemis is now addicted to emojis.
• Semiramis basically thanking her lucky stars she doesn't have only Shakespeare as the only familiar face in Chaldea.

Fragment 80

• Parvati's meeting with Rama & Sita. Parvati is initially furious with Rama due to another of Vishnu's avatars sleeping with her husband Shiva. The couple is initially confused upon seeing Parvati (who is reduced to pouting cutely in her angry state)… before the goddess yells "HOW DARE YOU SLEEP WITH MY HUSBAND!" In front of everyone at Fantasia Resort. Poor Rama is mortified and reduced to groveling and apologizing to both Parvati and Sita.
  • Karna is the first person to crack up when all of this goes out, and Okasabehime asks for the "juicy details".
• Ishtar gets possessive of Parvati, loudly proclaiming that Ereshkigal won't steal her sister away from her. It's funny and kind of adorable, especially given this is likely Rin's Big Sister Instinct coming out to protect Sakura, Parvati's current host and Rin's half-sister. Swings back around to hilarious when you remember that Eresh is also Rin, just from another timeline, and it turns into Rin essentially fighting with herself over her sister.

Fragment 81

• Mephistophiles brokering deals in EVE Online. Apparantly Tyler recommended it to him.
  • Mephy catches Blackbeard playing KanColle and asks if it sounds as bad as it looks. Blackbeard's response? Unplug his headset and let the sounds of yelping shipgirls fill the air for all to hear.
• Blackbeard discovers one of Medea's figurines of Arturia Pendragon, much to the Caster's dismay.
  • Blackbeard gushing about the possibility of buying some of Medea's figurines before catching himself.
• The reason Blackbeard knew that Anishka was a lesbian? He caught the master staring at Gabrielle's ass nore than once.
  • Blackbead keeps letting his pervy side slip during his conversation with Anishka.
  • The conversation ends with a hilarious rant from the Rider about how he's not a pedophile.

Fragment 82

• Angra appears in his Living Shadow form when he meets up with Nightingale and the others. His reason? He read on the internet that ladies like dark men.
  "Something about, once you go black, you never go back!"
• Iri gets a papercut, triggering Nightingale's Madness Enhancement and leading the Berserker to chase Iri around the medical bay. This becomes even funnier when you remember that Irisviel is a Holy Grail given flesh, and likely powerful enough to knock Florence on her ass or even outright kill her, yet she still flees the insane physician.

Fragment 83

• Achilles gets upset that he and Chiron were summoned a few months after the Final Battle at the Temple of Time.
• Gudao mollifying Chacha with Starburst candies.
• Chiron & Heracles's conversation is heartwarming, but also humorous.
  • Bonus points for Heracles' sitting position as Chiron lectures him.
• Illya and Kuro admit that they don't know who Chiron is, which makes Achilles start gushing about how amazing his master is... and then it turns out they don't know who Achilles is, either.
• Artemis gets unusually serious when talking about Achilles, promising to help Atalante keep her vow... And then Jack and Alice appear, and the goddess is back to her usual bubbly self.
  • Orion commenting that Artemis is hot when she gets serious.
• Serenity's brief panic when a butterfly lands on one of her paintings.
• Achilles apparently challenged Mordred to an eating contest, which apparently went as well as you'd expect when a child of Chaldea's premier Big Eater is involved.

Fragment 84

• Tristan, Mozart, and Phantom interacting with one of the monkey automata.
• Merlin beating the knights at cards, to the point where they accuse him of cheating with magecraft.
• Arturia thanking her knights for renewing their vows to her...and Merlin. The Magus is happy to be counted.
• Thanks to Saint Graph surgery, Artoria is now in her much more mature Lancer form. The knights save for Bedivere and Mordred take notice before immediately dropping to their knees and begging forgiveness for ogling their king.
  • Merlin laments that he should have waited for Arturia to become an adult before having her draw Caliburn, earning him a shot to the gut courtesy of Mordred.
• Medea getting flustered because she no longer has Arturia as a cute model.

Fragment 86

• One of the Vigil pilots, "Pharaoh", gets a first-hand demonstration of Charisma when Ozymandias and company greet him. The poor pilot, confronted with the real deal, ends up prostrating himself before the Servants and asking for forgiveness for his chosen callsign.
  • Another pilot, "Valkyrie" goes into full Squee mode upon meeting Brynhildr and her sisters.
• El-Melloi II and Da Vinci are boasting of just how absurdly impregnable the munitions vault they prepared for the Vigil forces is... and then Flat walks out of there with a bright, sunny smile, leaving both without the slightest idea of how the hell he managed to get in there in the first place. El-Melloi II, well aware of Flat's personality, doesn't even try to ask how he managed it, just the why.
  • Flat's ringtone for Astolfo is Barbie Girl.
• Artesia (UN's Saber Alter) ends up meeting Arturia in Chaldea, who just recently switched to her Lancer-Class body. She's quick to accuse Merlin of being up to his usual shenanigans after having a long closer look.

Fragment 88

• Carmilla and Eli bickering. Poor Vlad...
• A drunken Nobu helps an utterly smashed Okita back to her room before they stumble into a booth in a very suggestive position. Bickering ensues... until the two Servants start making out to the shock of everyone in Club Cove.
  • Not everyone's shock, as a random patron can attest:
  "Fucking hell. What took them so long?"

Fragment 89

• The fragment starts with some Purple Prose about a woman waiting for her mysterious lover to sweep her off her feet... until Orion yells at Artemis to knock it off with the corny narration.
• Jack whining about not wanting to go to school. It's hilarious to see a Serial Killer acting like a child (which, admittedly, she technically is).

Fragment 93

• Tyler sees Jack playing Animal Crossing and insists it's about "sucking your time away as you try to repay debt to the raccoon mafia."
• Jack trying to get Semiramis's attention by turning up the cuteness.
• Fran accidentally calls Moriarty "Papa", and the Archer apparently has a heart attack from the shock.
  • When Nightingale notices what happened, Moriarty manages to distract her by pointing out Holmes smoking on his pipe. The Berserker immediately takes Holmes to task for his substance abuse, allowing Moriarty to make a getaway.
• Alice and Jack sneak out of bed to eavesdrop on Atalante and Achilles having their first kiss. What they hear is... something very different.

Fragment 94

• Elizabeth now has a backup dancers in the form of the Mecha Eli-chans, here a pair of robots made by Edison.
• Xuanzang apparently dressed up as a banana and ended up getting chased around by Helena's monkey automatons.
• Musashi makes a surprise appearance by teleporting into the resort, casually eating udon out of a Grail and unaware of how she got into Chaldea. She then gets distracted thinking about sashimi and disappears again.
• Medea, Boudica, and Hessian set up a spooky Halloween attraction for the child Servants. It's... not quite as effective as the three adults hoped thanks to the kids being so battle-hardened.
  • It turns out Hessian's horse is actually Xanthos.
  • Chacha is the only one who gets scared, which she immediately denies.
  • The whole thing ends with Spartacus bursting into the room, having heard Hessian's in-character threats of enslaving the children. The Avenger immediately books it.
• Atalante introduces Medea and Naomi to Chaldea's newest Servant: Artoria Lily. Medea reacts accordingly.
  • It turns out there's actually another Servant that Chaldea managed to bring back... that being Medea Lily (or "Mia" as she's called). Medea is less happy about that one.

Season 5

Fragment 95

• Janna trying to pronounce Scherherazade's name, before eventually settling on "Sahara" as a nickname.
• Jack gets a new adorable pet courtesy of Helena: Kirby!

Fragment 100

• The Masters manage to bring Tamamo Cat to Chaldea... and OG Tamamo is in the summoning chamber. Cat Fight ensues.
• The SE.RA.PH. Servants are informed that they'll be assigned guards for the time being. Much to BB's chagrin, her minders are Nero and Tamamo... mostly because they'll be watching her anyway.
  • Suzuka, meanwhile, asks if she can have Medb as her guard.
• Nitocris sees BB bullying Scherherazade and rushes over to help... only to run into a robot, sending her crashing into the poor Caster. The both of them end up careening down a nearby stairwell.

Fragment 111

• Ibaraki goes to wake up Shuten as usual... and walks in on her and Kintoki in bed together.

The Lost Shards

Shard 1

• The Knights of the Round Table watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Hilarity Ensues.
  • The Castle Anthrax scene provides much eye candy for the male knights and much embarrassment for Mashu.
  • Poor Gawain is traumatized by the Killer Rabbit, and ends up getting startled by Fou.
  • Lancelot stating that he prefers the movie's ending over how Camelot actually fell is both funny and sad.

Shard 2

• Medb and Gabby ogling Gilgamesh and Ozymandias on the beach.
• Enkidu delivering some scathing comebacks to Medb is both this and awesome.

Shard 3

• The Shard is mostly heartwarming as the Extella servants celebrate Altera regaining her memories of the Moon Cell, but Nero and Tamamo's brief bickering is chuckle-worthy.
• Asterios peeking on the trio's picnic and attempting to hide once he's caught.

Shard 6

• Jack and the other child Servants (including the ones affected by the youth potion in Fragment 28) play Hide-and-Seek.
  • Illya and Kuro fighting over who gets to hide with Emiya. Jack just merrily skips over to them in the confusion.
  • Medea hiding in a crate in the Clothing Department... which a robot just happens to crack open. The robot's response is priceless.
    "Miss Stolarz, I regret to inform you there appears to be smuggled contraband in this crate!"
  • Jack turns up the cuteness when convincing Gawain and Bedivere to let her look inside the Camelot Room.
  • Alice hides in book for in the library and attempts to make a break for it. A quiet chase ensues.

Shard 8

• Mordred calling Emiya "Mama Shirou" much to the Archer's consternation.

Shard 10

• Shinjuku Archer suggests that the Masters all use codenames for their Servants... and then Gabby immediately refers to Medb, Jack, and Alice by name. She would have given away Atalante's identity as well if Anishka hadn't covered her mouth.
• Da Vinci tries to deduce Shinjuku Archer's identity:
  Da Vinci: It's like you're a genius or something... but I don't recall there was ever one with magic bullets and missiles.
  Shinjuku Archer: And I don't recall Jack the Ripper being an adorable child with a Greek mythological mother, so let's call it even, shall we?
• Saber Alter and Jeanne Alter get into an argument... and so do their Chaldean counterparts upon seeing it.
• It turns out that Gabby doesn't know who Moriarty is after Holmes reveals that he is the Shinjuku Archer.
• Poor Anishka getting flustered by the Alters trying to pretend-woo her.

Shard 11

• The Shard deals with the Vigil processing the orders from Chaldea. Unfortunately for them, there are quite a few weird ones:
  • One sergeant requires a smoke break after ordering a large amount of Yaoi Doujinshi. Individually.
  • One package is filled with plenty of sex toys and costumes. The Vigil assumes it's for the 'Irish couple' (Fergus and Medb)... only for them to find the order included multiple Indian publications as well, implying that Rama and Sita placed the order.
  • Someone ordered a fifty-five gallon drum of lube. The colonel inspecting it can't help but laugh.
  • Da Vinci orders ten metric tons of sand from the vicinity of Baghdad and other landscape material. It's implied to be for Semiramis's Hanging Gardens, but the Vigil is understandably baffled.

Shard 14

• Gabrielle, Artoria, and several other Servants visit the 1904 World's Fair during a supply sortie. Artoria, upon discovering that she's in the middle of a veritable showcase of culinary treats - some of which are in the process of being invented at the moment - has only this to say:
  "...This is one of the best singularities we've ever had."
• Fergus challenges Artoria to a pie-eating contest. This goes about as well as you'd expect.

Shard 15

• Shuten teasing the easily-flustered Kintoki.
  • Eventually, Kintoki gets wound up enough to pull off his jacket, seemingly ready to fight... only to put it on Shuten to cover her Stripperific battle attire. Even Shuten is surprised.

Shard 17

• Chloe traumatizing Chacha with her usual antics. Illya is left almost comatose upon realizing what happned.
  • Ruby's reaction upon noticing what Chloe was doing? "Oh my~"
  • Then Chloe offers Chacha a tangerine and asks if she wants 'another juicy snack'. Poor Chacha runs off screaming for Nobunaga at that point.

Shard 19

• Tyler and Serenity have Their First Time... only for a nearby Rena to ruin the mood.

Shard 21

• Gilgamesh tricks Ishtar into dunking her iPad into the ocean at Fantasia Resort under the pretense of giving it a bath. She's less than pleased when she finds out she's been tricked.

Shard 22

• Joan becomes increasingly flustered upon seeing Dantes in formal attire.

Shard 23

• Helena's solution to solve Edison's and Tesla's latest spat? A cook-off! It doesn't stop them from arguing, sure, but at least them make some good food in the process.

Shard 24

• King Hassan watching Tyler play Assassin's Creed.
• Iskandar and Tyler have some trouble moving a couch out of the Gaming Room.

Shard 25

• Okita initially thinks that her 'encounter' with Nobunaga in Fragment 88 was All Just a Dream... until she realizes that she's in bed naked. And Nobu is sleeping next to her.
  ...Okita's eyebrow twiched. Then twitched again.
  Finally, she did the only thing her mind, heart, and body agreed upon: She screamed.
• Okita and Nobu have another intimate moment where Nobunaga promises to 'conquer' Okita when she is ready...only for Okita to ruin the mood by coughing up blood. The ensuing argument ends up waking up the neighbors.

Shard 26

• Val catches Leonidas re-enacting the Spartan Kick.

Shard 28

• Several Sphinx kittens, including Mr. Sprinkles, are left utterly terrified by the Kirby toy Helena made and its ability to devour an entire watermelon and return to normal size almost instantly.

Shard 31

• Astolfo attracting a lot of attention from the local guys during Oktoberfest.

Shard 33

• The concept of humanity's heroes and legends gaining access to social media is hilarious in and of itself.
  • Mephistophiles tricks Marie into resetting her phone.
  • Iri adds a ton of photos of her family and especially her daughters much to Illya's dismay.
  • Mordred sends Kairi a message asking about a Sphynx kitten... when he's standing right next to her.
  • Tyler apparently showed Mozart some modern remixes of his music. Mozart is less than amused.
  • Jaguarman posts nothing but cat videos. Marie sees nothing wrong with this.
  • Alice curses out Hans after he gives a negative review to Disney's The Little Mermaid.
    Atalanta: Alice! Who taught you that word!?
    Ishtar: I'm betting the name starts with G and rhymes with abby.
    Gabby: Hey! Don't just throw me under the bus like that!
    Angry Mango:' We bring our kids to war with us and you're worried about a few curse words? Points to your motherhood but uhhhhhhh are we a Christian facility?

Shard 35

• Paul wanting to tame a flock of ducks to meet Chaldea's food demands.
• The Jeanne sisters and Giles catch Joan reading The Count of Monte Cristo in a bookstore, and the Avenger frantically tries to deny it.
  "Stop getting ideas! I said it's not what you think! Why would I want to know about his past when he could just tell me!?
  "I never asked about-"
  "Gah! You tricked me into saying that! You wretched saint!"
• The Shard ends with the cultist responsible for the Singularity spying on Chaldea and making plans to destroy them or bring them under his fold... And it turns out that Cursed Arm is spying on him, fiddling with a Rubik's Cube and waiting for the go-ahead.
  This cultist and his Saber would take about... fifteen minutes, if he had a few surprises.

Shard 36

• Atalanta stealing the covers from Achilles and slowly pushing him off their shared bed.

Shard 37

• The Urukian Servants' holiday is interrupted by a flock of sheep in the middle of the road. Gilgamesh is not amused by this.
  "This is unacceptable! Do the farmers not know how to control their quarry!?"
• Ereshkigal's Adorkable side shows itself again as she gingerly approaches the sheep to pet one. He reaction when she finally does so is precious.
• Enkidu proves why he's Gilgamesh's equal by hitting the Archer with a Disapproving Look that gets him to finally pet the sheep himself.

Shard 39

• This Shard is a more serious take on Sasaki Kojirou, Savior of France. While it's primarily awesome, the premise itself is worth a chuckle.

Shard 40

• The Shard begins with Nobunaga texting Okita for help after accidentally gluing her hands together while building her Chaos army. Somehow.
• Boudica's message to Artoria starts off as a dignified communication between one ruler to another... before devolving into gushing about how cute Gareth is.
  • Apparently, Boudica was running down the hall and squealing about the young knight.
• Shakespeare waxes poetic about how War Is Hell and what would make such bloodshed and destruction worth it... only for Alice to reveal he's talking about that afternoon's food fight.
• Angra Mainyu give Valerie and Leonidas grief by calling the latter the former's 'Spartan boyfriend'. When there's no frantic denial, Angra muses that Marie must be taking notes.
  Queen Marie: O:)
• Moriarty asks why there are toilets in Servant quarters^note According to Gabrielle, it's a combination of cookie-cutter design, non-Servant guests, and toilets being easy to import. Holmes is immediately suspicious of Moriarty, and Moriarty in turn is offended that the detective believes he'd stoop so low.
• Tesla and Edison were apparently shown Epic Rap Battles of History at some point, with Edison feeling betrayed at how the Edison Vs. Tesla battle played out.

Shard 41

• Beowulf is utterly baffled at Nightingale's Trick or Treatment outfit, noting that he's only wearing pants and is still somehow wearing more clothes than her.
• Asterios (dressed as a Big Red Devil) tries to spook Tyler to no avail. Then Rena comes along in a spider costume...
• Paul dresses as "the embodiment of Disney's pursuit of the American Dream", a.k.a. a Disney CEO.
• Nitocris wears a cloak and proclaims herself as Medjed, not some mere pharoah... Only for Ozymandias to appear behind her to (teasingly) chastise the poor Caster.
• Astolfo dresses as a Scottsman, complete with a kilt and a bagpipe. When Mordred askes if he knows how to play it, Astolfo decides to find out.
• Sanson and Mozart fighting over Marie in Disney Prince costumes.
• Blackbeard dresses up in a giant parrot costume, apparently due to a bet with Mephistophiles.

Shard 42

• Gareth, during her introductory tour, wanders off... and runs into Medea and Naomi. Lily and Gawain are resigned to what's about to happen but Gareth is completely oblivious.

Shard 43

• Okita is yelling at Nobunaga for Nobu's blatant disregard of the firing rage safety while in her pajamas and not letting Nobunaga speak. When Nobunaga is able to speak and points out to Okita what she is currently wearing:
  Okita: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?
  Nobunaga: YOU IDIOT! WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS TRYING TO DO!?

Shard 55

• Hijikata teasing Okita over her relationship with Nobunaga.
  "IT'S NOT LIKE THAAAAAT!"
• Tyler denies crying over The Notebook, blaming it on The Hassan of Cutting Onions.
• Artesia apparently wore a maid costume at some point as part of a bet with Skyler.
• Merlin and Joan are apparently as effective a team as they are in-game. Awesome, but Joan apparently gave a full monologue as she did so. Hector calls it corny.

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