"If I'm a Muppet... then I'm a very manly Muppet."
"Seagull". At first we think it's a metaphor for someone wanting to get out of a relationship, but it turns out that the narrator is actually a piano-playing seagull.
From the song "Hurt Feelings:
It's my birthday, 2003/ Waitin' for a call from my family (pause) They forgot about me
"Some say rappers are invincible! We're vincible!"
At their live show at the O2 in London in 2018, they jokingly apologize to the audience about how much they have aged.
When the duo were asked to play "Albi the Racist Dragon", Bret gets out the tiny piano he played "Hurt Feelings" on, and hesitates over which key to start "Albi" on.
Series:
Most anything Dave says but especially: "It's not a fucking school play production. It's the bird." (Dave to the guys when trying to show them how to flip someone the bird).
This is one of the best:
Sinjay (threateningly): I'm going to count to 10!
(awkward silence)
Jemaine: Are you counting in your head?
Sinjay: Yes.
Jemaine: What number are you up to?
Sinjay: Seven.
(Jemaine and Bret run away)
Murray telling the guys about when he was in the New Zealand army, while in a fort they made in their bedroom.
Murray: And one time... my whole platoon had to drink their own urine.
Bret: Oh, were you lost?
Murray: No, we were drunk. It was a party game. I didn't really like that part of the army. More tea, Jemaine?
Or Murray lambasting Jemaine for dating an Australian:
Murray: What about your kids, Jemaine, did you think of that? They'd be aberrations!
Jemaine: Actually it's pronounced Aborigine.
Murray is famous for stealing just about every scene he's in, but he makes the episode in "What Goes On Tour":
Murray: When you're in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend. Past or present. You get a love triangle, you know? Fleetwood Mac situation. Well, there were four of them, so more of a love square. But, you know, no one gets on.
Jermaine: Okay, I see.
Murray: Mind you, they did some of their best music then.
After Jemaine starts prostituting himself to get more money, Bret comes to rescue him after calling the police. The police arrive and Jemaine awkwardly identifies himself as the prostitute; when they ask if Bret is one as well, Bret replies that he's the guy "who wears the big condom" (referencing his job as a mascot). Cut to them both in jail.
Any of the half-hearted New Zealand tourism posters beside Murray's desk, such as "New Zealand... Like Lord of the Rings," "New Zealand... Have a Go," or "New Zealand (It's not part of Australia)."
In a deleted scene from "The Tough Brets", it's night and Bret and Jemaine are in bed. Bret is sound asleep but Jemaine is awake and lost in thought about Bret's gang. He turns to Bret to voice his concern:
Jemaine: Bret...? Bret? Bret? (Bret doesn't wake up)Bret!
In the same deleted scene, Jemaine advises Bret that his gang shouldn't make their headquarters in their apartment anymore, so Bret tells them to leave.
Johnny Boy: Did that nosebleed put you up to this? (Jemaine cringes) I'll wring his scrawny neck!
In a deleted scene from "Evicted", Bret wonders if Mel's a little bit crazy. Jemaine starts to answer when Mel drills a hole in the wall to spy on them.
Bret with an eyepatch in "Bowie": he tries to sit down and misses.
The fact that Bret asks David Bowie if putting a wig on a man is gay.
Murray points out to Bret in "Murray Takes It to the Next Level" that his friend Jim drew an outline of a naked woman on their fence.
Bret: Oh, I thought it was a monster.
The ridiculous falsetto Bret puts on in "Unnatural Love"
The guys play a song to raise awareness for epileptic dogs in "Love is a Weapon of Choice". And then they do the remix. Cue strobe lights that send all of the dogs into fits. Bret didn't realize and thought the golden labradoodle and the shih-tzu were dancing.
Bret and Jemaine's Wimp Fight in their apartment. Their weapons are toilet rolls.
The song "We're Both in Love With a Sexy Lady" is uproariously funny whether or not you're familiar with R. Kelly and Usher's "Same Girl." Like that song, it deals with two friends discussing their respective love interests before realizing they're both talking about the same person. Unlike that song, it takes place inside a minute of both of them meeting the woman.
Both:How'd you meet your lady?
Bret:I was going for a jog and she lost her dog
Jemaine:I was running in the area, she lost her terrier
Jemaine comes home in "Prime Minister" and finds Bret jamming with some African men. Jemaine asks Bret if he's rehearsing Paul Simon's solo work. Bret replies, "No."
Greg comes in with a poster saying "NEW ZEALAND... ROCKS!!!!" and asks if it's okay. Murray suggests another exclamation mark, but Greg sheepishly replies "I don't... I don't think that's necessary..." and Murray agrees, equally sheepish.
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