Funny / Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

• The conversation between Ike, Soren, and Aimee in Radiant Dawn. The whole thing: Aimee's plan to seduce Ike by forcing him to confess and then spreading rumors of it (all the while he's as oblivious as usual, mind you), Soren's dramatic rescue and "What I do now, I do for the company," Aimee's horror at being left alone with Soren, and then Soren's lady-killing speech... Priceless.
  • "You're a diamond, and other beorc only glass beads, Miss Aimee. ... ... Stay beautiful."
• Ike calls Yune a dark god one too many times. Yune gets very, VERY angry at that.
  Yune: There you go, calling me a dark god again! How would you like it if I called you a dark bag of organs? That's it! I'm not talking to you anymore!
  • Let's reiterate: Ike's lack of tact upset a Goddess, and her response is to pout and give him the silent treatment.
    [Ike asks a plot relevant question]
    Yune: I'm not talking to you!
    Ike: Oh, by all that's— Would you stop acting like a child?
• Shinon's line to Gatrie when he thinks about hitting on Lyre:
  Shinon: I swear you'd hit on a tree if I dressed it in a skirt.
• At the end of the prologue of Part 3 in Radiant Dawn, the victorious Skimir gives this speech to his troops.
  Skimir: Soldiers of Gallia! The battle is over! We have won! No human can stand against the laguz! We are not done yet! We'll continue to fight, kill, and crush our enemies!
  Soren: My... What a stupid speech.
• Oliver turns out to be Not Quite Dead, and he's still a crowning dude of funny.
  • Oliver's recruitment method is noted for being practically the only time a Fire Emblem stage boss leaves a base or throne to talk to your characters.
  • Oliver's conversation during recruitment with Rafiel is... disturbing, to say the least.
    Oliver: Ohhh... you are truly a banquet for the eyes as well as the... spirit. I'm quite overcome!
    Rafiel: Unhand me!
    Oliver: But how is it that anyone could risk a precious treasure like you in battle? What if something marred you?
    Rafiel: What are you talking about?
    Oliver: Don't worry, pretty bird; I'll save you. You need someone who can give you loving protection. Someone... like me.
    Rafiel: ???
    Oliver: I'll take you away from these savages! I would never let them lay a single finger on you, my precious! No, no... the jealous cretins mustn't ruffle a single feather... I'll have to kill them! Come now, come to daddy!
  • It gets even better when he joins your party. Especially if you have Ike talk to him immediately afterward. The last line of their conversation is just priceless.
    Ike: Listen...Would you mind rejoining the enemy?
  • This one's pretty good as well.
    Sephiran: Duke of Tanas, imagine seeing you here!
    Oliver: Lord Sephiran, as lovely as always. But has it come to this? Must we fight to the death, and deprive the world of one of our beautiful countenances? Can other lovers of beauty endure such a loss?
    Sephiran: I confess that your presence has me bewildered. Could this be part of Yune's plan? I simply never would have imagined you here. Your presence proves that Tellius is unraveling at the seams. Judgment cannot come soon enough.
    • To quote Faerghast fromthis video on the sickest insults in Fire Emblem, "...Damn. Imagine your betrayal baffling the bad guy so much he says, 'I've planned the end of the world for centuries, and even I can't comprehend this.'"
  • Oliver even manages to get himself a gameplay based funny moment. If things are set up just right, it's possible for him to wind up killing Lekain with Matrona. Yes, Oliver is able to take out the game's Big Bad Wannabe and one of the final five bosses with a STAFF.
  • Nailah's has to be the more hilarious of the pre-battle quotes avaliable against Oliver:
    Oliver: S-sub-human! A hideous sub-human is attacking me! Help! Someone help me! I'm much too lovely for this!
    Nailah: What a strangely shaped creature... Is this some rare subspecies of beorc?
    • Gets all the funnier when you realize that the way Nailah refers to Oliver is essentially her calling Oliver a sub-human.
  • Ike, being Ike, also gets in a good one against Oliver.
    Ike: You! You’re still alive?!
    Oliver: The world simply could not bear to be without me. Your crude weapons have no force against true magnificence! Blessed with such beauty, I have no foes… only inferiors!
    Ike: Glad to see you’re still barely clinging to that last shred of sanity. Just give it up, already.
• Ranulf. That is all.
  • Case in point, his dialogue against Valtome.
    Ranulf: Are you really the best Ashera could do? This really is the end of the world.
• Ike's zinger against Catalena in 4-1. He's still got it.
  Catalena: Pawns of your execrable goddess, die! You are a festering wound in the flesh of the world! Die, and let it heal!
  Ike: I suppose talking it over is out of the question?
• Laura's conversation with Aran after he joins the Dawn Brigade:
  Laura: By the way, you'll have to become a bandit now.
• Micaiah gets arguably the best line in the game fairly early on after hearing one too many fanboyish hype-trains about Ike from Sothe for her tastes.
  Micaiah: Right. Lord Ike, "hero" of the Crimean Liberation, leader of the Greil Mercenaries, and father of Sothe's children...
  • Veronica Taylor, her voice actress in Fire Emblem Heroes, voiced the line for a fan request.
  • Let's not forget what she said a bit before that. You can sense the exasperation.
    Micaiah: Honestly. Here I thought you were saying something enlightened, and you're just talking about him again?
• Also, Lovable Traitor Naesala being reduced to a Badly Battered Bodyguard.
  Sanaki: Still no word from the battle. What's going on out there? I should go to my people. They may need me.
  Naesala: Hey, just where do you think you're going? Do you think the high-and-mighty apostle should be traipsing around a battlefield, hmm?
  Sanaki: Wha— Oh, it's just you. Hmph. How dare you sneak up on me that way!
  Naesala: That beauty from the Holy Guards told me to keep an eye on you. So, do me a favor and sit still, will you?
  Sanaki: But I can't see anything from here! I have to know how my people are faring down there! I...I can't bear doing nothing! Hmm... I have an idea. You! Carry me to a place where I can observe the battle! Don't give me that look! You're the one who agreed to guard me, so do your duty and obey your orders! Come on, let's get moving!
  Naesala: Wait a minute... Is that what passes for beorc logic these days? No wonder you've lost your throne. OW! Stop that!
  Sanaki: Are you going to obey me, or shall I have you chased back home in a cloud of feathers?
  Naesala: By the goddess, what have I gotten myself into? As you wish, Empress. My back is yours.
  • What makes this even funnier is that Naesala is off-screen and credited as "???" up until his last line — we don't even get the slightest clue as to whom Sanaki is talking to until he mentions "beorc" logic.
• Sanaki does this again when she has a field conversation with the one retainer she trusted above all others (who turned out to actually be a suicidally depressed centuries-old heron) after he's been convinced to repent for his actions.
  Sanaki: You finally made it, Sephiran.
  Sephiran: Sanaki, I...
  Sanaki: I was starting to wonder how I would punish you.
  Sephiran: I'm sorry?
  Sanaki: You are my subordinate, after all. I have decided that leaving one's empress to die is punishable by drowning in a pool of rancid butter.
  Sephiran: Of course it is, my empress.
  Sanaki: I hope you're a strong swimmer.
  • She's also responsible for one more, though not directly involved in it.
    Lekain: Tah ha ha... So nice to see you, King Naesala. When you can't oppose me, that is. Your blood pact means that you'll have to betray your companions...yet again.
    Naesala: Not today, actually.
    Lekain: What did you say?
    Naesala: Sorry to break it to you, Lekain, but I have recently...been promoted, shall we say. I now take orders from over your head, Vice-Minister. From Empress Sanaki, to be exact.
    Lekain: Wh-what... Whaaaat...?!
    Naesala: The curse of the blood pact applies if the master's orders aren't obeyed, but by the law of Begnion, you're overruled. So, Lekain, right here, right now... I'm going to tear you apart, as I've been wanting to do for years.
    Lekain: Urk!
• The last part of Pelleas's conversation with Sephiran is both hilarious and gross. At the same time!
  Pelleas: I think I'm going to be ill...
  Sephiran: Be assured that you were essential to Daein’s reconstruction, which was a vital step toward waking the goddess. Fortunately, Izuka was able to use you to execute my plan.
  Pelleas: You are going to pay! You are going to…BLAAARRRGH!
• A weird example that involves gameplay rather than dialogue. Chapter 3-11 is littered with pitfall traps, which the enemy always avoids stepping on as well. However, an enemy bishop in that level has a Rescue staff and can warp another unit onto that spot. This can allow a unit with Pass to pass through a trap without incident, but the truly funny part is when a ground-based unit with Canto attacks the enemy, destroys it, continues movement into the space that was just occupied by an enemy... and promptly falls into a pit.
• Izuka and Sothe discussing inviting Tormod, Muarim, and Vika to join the resistance:
  Sothe: They are my personal acquaintances from Begnion. And yeah, they can handle themselves in a fight. But if any more Laguz join us, there will be problems. We've managed to hide Volug and his true nature, but...with more Laguz, it will surely get out.
  Izuka: Any such backlash can be extinguished with proper punishment. But Laguz... They're powerful! (And expendable...) Just what we need. By all means, invite them to join!
  Sothe: They're good friends. I'm sure they'll agree to help if I ask (you mumbling creep).
• Getting an A support between Mia and Soren. The sheer clash of personalities is hilarious.
• "THE BEASTS!! THEY WISH TO CONSUUUMME MEEEE!!"
• Ike going from a muscular, but still average-looking teenager to a huge beef monster in the span of 3 years. You can't help but think that he's going to snap Soren like a twig during their hug on the final chapter.
• Skrimir's growing respect for Soren leads to him asking the latter if he wants to sit by him during a strategy meeting. Soren's response is "Not if you begged me, Skirmir", followed by sitting beside Ike.
• Sanaki gets very enthusiastic about treasure hunting in the Grann Desert. Sigrun sighs about how the empress and supposed Apostle seems to (for once) actually act her age, and wanting to get dirty.
  • It helps that Sanaki also has a high Luck stat, meaning she really does have a high chance at finding something good. Being a Magic-user also means that her movement isn’t impaired in the sand. Gameplay and Story Integration?
• Volke offering a "negligible" price of 3,000 to take out Izuka. Even Volke wants a piece of him.
  Bastian: Sigh... I almost pity old Izuka.

• Heather's recruitment in Part 2 is worth a few chuckles:
  • If Nephenee talks to Heather, the later repeatedly flirts with the former, stating that she "likes helping out country girls."
  • If Brom talks to Heather, he starts off by having to shout very loudly to get her attention. Heather asks if Brom is trying to flirt with her, only for Brom to tell her that he's already got a wife and children. Heather practically shows zero interest in helping out until she learns that Brom's friend is a rather attractive woman.

• Lucia asking Brom and Nephenee to engage in espionage.
  Brom: Espio-what? Sounds serious! Nephenee, you ever hearda that?
  Nephenee: Oh, sure. When I was just a sprout, I caught a real bad case'a that. I got this awful rash all over my back, too!
  Lucia: Uh... That's... a very nice story. Maybe I'd better explain what I mean.