Funny / Family Guy Seasons 17 To 18

Season Seventeen

310. - Married With Cancer

• The episode begins with Brian failing to sneak out without caught by the Griffins. Chris catches him and asks him why he's dressed like a douche who hangs out with multi-racial friends in a McDonald's ad.
• Brian is way behind the times in slang. When he gives a pick-up line, an old printer scan of his face and the caption "NAILED IT!" appears on screen. The second time it happens, the paper gets tangled up by the printer.
• The montage of Jess and Brian having sex in various locations she's always wanted to do on her bucket list, such as in the Great Glass Elevator from Charlie And the Chocolate Factory (which causes Charlie to kill himself) and as she's taking school photos, which Chris is pictured filming.
  • And if you look at the list closely, one location is Moe's Tavern.
• Peter says he can throw a boomerang, but when he does, he gets flung around.
• Jess's cancer is announced by Dr. Gravitas because it's too serious for Dr. Hartman.
• At the end of act one, Brian gets a call from his vet saying that they can do one item that involves chocolate because he's technically not eating it.
  Brian: Toblerone probably isn't the best thing for this.
• Peter started a business, complete with local commercial, for the Suit-Chute, a pair of pants with a flap in the butt in case you have to go to the bathroom badly. It failed because he didn't know the 555 prefix meant it was a fake number.
• Quagmire says Brian's bachelor party is going to be better than what Kanye West is doing right now. We then cut to him saying he's preparing to join ISIS while massaging a lasagna.
  • Coupled with Heartwarming as this is right after Quagmire finally accepts Brian's friendship after 9 seasons, considering him a good guy for sticking with Jess after her cancer diagnosis.
• Brian is spotted in The Peanuts Movie for peeing in his soda cup. So he cries like Snoopy.
• Bruce officiates the wedding. He says that Jeffrey's mother doesn't approve and they're waiting for her to die.
• Peter doesn't react to the news that Jess isn't dying of cancer because he stole a muscle relaxer and took a pill that morning.
• The audience cheers when Lou from last season shows up and when Stewie returns.
• The follow-up to Tom Tucker's profile on Brian and Jess is subtitled because Jess had about six months of cancer farts built up and she kept on farting throughout.
• After Jess chokes to death, Brian keeps on triggering promos for other Fox shows. So he says Son of Zorn and a "File Not Found" error shows up (the show was cancelled after one season).
• In The Stinger, Jess realizes she's alive at her funeral. Then Brian cries like Snoopy.

311. Dead Dog Walking

• This episode starts with a Previously on… montage showing clips from the first episode and "Something Something Something Dark Side."
• Meg is blackmailing the family because she found pictures on Peter's computer, which is why Lois says that Chris has to babysit Stewie.
• Peter has no idea where socks come from.
• An astronaut who thinks the lowest number is three.
• By putting on his ring, Brian can see a Husbands restaurant. It also means they also get to wear cargo pants with keys to a bunch of sheds in the pockets.
• Brian manages to level up by telling a Dad Joke.
• Chris still has a pager because cell phones are tracking everyone else.
• At a high school party, Stewie notices which nice, popular kid will die in a car accident that night.
  Teen: Hey, can you help out at the soup kitchen at noon?
  Other Teen: Yeah, I should be alive by then!
  Stewie: Yeah, he gone.
• The monster from Stranger Things lives in the apartment under Brian and Jess.
  Monster: *farts* Ugh, must've been that fat girl I ate.
• Dr. Hartman shows an x-ray of his hip. It has a toy Batmobile in his colon.
  Hartman: I'm hoping when the Bat Signal turns on, that thing will just drive out of there.
• Chris' ring of vape smoke causes Samara from The Ring to crawl out, scaring away him and Stewie. She then gets chased by a crab-walking Quagmire.
  Quagmire: Giggity giggity crabbity giggity.
• Lois' alpucino maker, a cappucino maker that goes "Hoo-ah!"
• After learning that he's being euthanized, a rabid Clifford the Big Red Dog asks if he also ate a kid.
• The One Froggy Evening spoof at the start of act three.
• "Hi, honey. Mommy needs money for scratchers."
• Stewie and Chris realize they've gone too far when they accidentally passionately kiss.
• Chris realizes he's a douchebag after Lois takes a picture of him vaping. She then posts it on Instagram and Peter likes it.
• When Peter learns that Brian's being euthanized, Peter rushes... to the library to find out the definition of "euthanize". He then circles the word "dick" and writes "This is You!" in every copy of the dictionary.
• After saving Brian's life, Peter gets paid $200 to get strangled by the doctor that would have killed Brian.
• Jess dies during the commercial break between act three and The Stinger. Peter steals the alpucino maker from her apartment.
• At the end of The Stinger, Brian scatters Jess' ashes on the front porch of the Griffins' house while everyone else argues about who told what secret to who.
  Lois: Meg told me! How does it feel you freakin' town crier!
  Meg: You're such a bitch!

312. Pal Stewie

• The episode starts with Stewie failing to kill Lois via drone. We see her drink vodka she was hiding in a bush.
• Stewie showing off an Eddie Murphy bed, which is a Murphy bed that laughs like him. Stewie doesn't know if it's a queen, but he's heard it is.
• Peter realizes he's at a Tony Robbins seminar, instead of Baskin-Robbins. Lois actually said they were going to bask in Robbins' glow.
  Peter: Sheesh, your head is the size of a picnic watermelon.
• Tony stops Peter from doing a cutaway. We see the end of it: It's Peter as a superhero with the heads of the cast of Parks and Recreation, only Peter didn't set it up so it's presented completely without context.
• All of Peter picking his nose, then trying to flick it away. It takes him a good minute before he decides to just put it on the windshield and wipe it off, and the whole thing is set to goofy-sounding stock music.
• After Peter learns the soul of Tony Robbins is now in Peter's car, Peter asks Tony if Bill Paxton is the same as Bill Pullman.
• Throughout the episode, Paul Hogan gets royalty checks from a kangaroo mailman whenever anyone says "You call that an X, this is an X!"
• At the end of act one, Stewie is burying his weapons in the backyard. Chris thinks it's a pool and jumps in.
• Stewie gets a toy of Forest Whitaker.
  Stewie: Even as an action figure, you can't tell where he's looking.
• At the end of act two, we see a divorced father talking to his son.
• Peter and Lois freaking out after watching a celebrity making a cameo in a Saturday Night Live skit that parodies that celebrity. Then Meg sets the couch on fire, Brian crashes his car into the window, and Quagmire crashes a plane in the living room because they were streaming it.
• After it's revealed that Tony Robbins was actually alive and hiding in the trunk of Peter's car, he leaves in two Smart cars that he uses as roller skates.
• Act three ends with Future!Stewie giving a speech at Brian's wedding. According to Stewie, it's a gay wedding because they usually do something goofy at the end of the episode.
• At the end of The Stinger, Tony Robbins promotes his seminar by saying he's put a price on happiness of $6,000.
  Tony: See you in Fort Meyers probably!

313. Big Trouble In Little Quahog

• The episode starts with Stewie returning from a birthday party. One of his party favors is a dog whistle.
  Gilbert Gottfried: DOG WHISTLE! DOG WHISTLE! WHERE ARE YOU, DOG?!
  • The other items in his gift bag includes an eraser, an unsealed bag of raisins, and a parachute toy that's already tangled up.
• Tiny Tom Cruise returns to pick up his sunglasses. Stewie asks why all the characters he plays these days have weirdly gay names.
• Stewie's excitement after shrinking Brian is represented by a scene from Kickboxer showing Jean-Claude Van Damme dancing.
• Before saving Brian from a rat at the end of act one, Stewie has to watch a YouTube how-to video because he's a millennial.
• Stewie imitates Forrest Gump while walking through the carpeting in Stewie's room because the shag carpeting reminds him of the jungle from Vietnam movies.
• "I HATE MY LIFE AND NOBODY CAN HEAR ME SAY IT RIGHT NOW!"
• Cleveland delivers two days worth of mail at once.
  Cleveland: Don't go over two, don't get greedy.
• Stewie and Brian talk about which 80s movies featured lattices as they climb up one.
• At the end of act two, Stewie calls out Brian for pressing a button that says "tiny" instead of a small button that would have sent them back to normal size.
• Peter confuses an exterminator for an ex-Terminator.
• Act three features various themed water bears, like a Country Bears themed water bear, a gay one who's not doing the voice, Consuela, and Patrick Stewart as a water bear.
• The exterminator is lonely, so he imagines that Peter and Lois take him out to dinner.
• Stewie thinks Steve Jobs was into 80s movies because everyone climbs a lattice in Brian's laptop.
• After Tiny Tom Cruise rescues Stewie and Brian, he asks that they donate to the Church Of Spaceship Boop Boop.
• They forgot to bring the kids out of the house before fumigating it. Meg and Chris are respectively lured to heaven by Prince and Alan Thicke, but Peter drags them away.
  Alan Thicke: Google my Crystal Light aerobics competition, it's hilarious!
• In The Stinger, we see the clip of Jean-Claude Van Damme dancing again to cheer up Stewie, who accidentally killed the water bears.

314. Regarding Carter

• The episode starts at Lois' birthday party. Peter booked a pony ride without her knowing.
• In the 80s, Carter missed all of Lois' piano recitals because he was busy having cocaine and sushi business meetings. He accidentally snorts a fish through his nose horizontally.
  Carter: AHHH, DAMNIT, THE WASABI!
• Peter surfs through Netflix stand-up specials in what turns out to be the intro to his stand-up special, I'm Thinkin' I Might.
  • Later on, we see other characters' Netflix specials, such as Cleveland's You Startin' To See What I'm Sayin'? and Tricia's Comic-Kaze. Tricia's joke about sex and Chinese food bombs because the audience points out she's Japanese, not Chinese.
• Peter goes to a gun range with the gun Lois got from Carter, and turns down the owners offer of a tutorial. It then cuts to the gun range, where Peter has somehow ended up hanging from the target zone.
  Peter: Wait, I think I did it wrong!
  • It then cuts to the Griffin house where we see that Peter has been replaced by a target silhouette wearing his clothes.
• Peter shoots a TV showing The Orville because it's affecting his work on this show. He explains this in a different voice.
• Peter gets beaten in six-eight time by the fans at a Rush concert for wearing khakis.
  Peter: Please no, uncles who voted for Craig Johnson!!
• At the end of act one, Lois accidentally shoots Carter. Then comes a crane shot Lois was hoping wouldn't happen and a single low note.
  Parrot: Family Guy will be right bawk!
  Lois: Okay, it's not so serious now.
• At the start of act two, Dr. Hartman asks if anyone knows how to countersue.
• Since this is the only chance, Peter beats a catatonic Carter in Mario Kart.
• Peter was Christina Hendricks' bra on Mad Men. Chris was Jon Hamm's underwear and Stewie was Elisabeth Moss's socks. Chris and Stewie are unsatisfied with their jobs and decides to switch positions.
• Gerard Depardieu thinks Enterprise rent-a-car is Burning Man.
  Peter: We'll take the insurance.
• Peter tries to get Carter to snap out of it by showing photos of celebrities Lois got mad at him for not recognizing in a game with Joe and Bonnie.
• Carter snaps out of his catatonia after Lois explains Real Housewives to him and then suggest they watch the recap show afterwards.
• Lois telling Carter he bought and shut down Vine is done as a looping Vine.
• For animal testing, Carter made monkeys watch Vikings. They didn't care for it.
• Lois going on Safari... the internet browser.
• Peter after surgery to turn himself stained glass. Chris and Stewie don't understand why he did it until the sun shines through. What really sells it is the angelic choir in the background as the light shines through Peter.
  Stewie: Oh my god, Dad's beautiful!
• A waitress can't tell if Shaq is mad after he doesn't get pancakes with a Superman "S".
• As the Griffins suggest ways to make Carter angry, Meg keeps suggesting ideas involving horrible sex.
  • Peter suggests finding some Smurfs because they get Gargamel angry. Chris and Meg later call him out on only suggesting nonsense from old kids shows.
• Carter's karaoke song is the theme to Hill Street Blues. He adds lyrics since the theme doesn't have any.
  Carter: There were many ugly people on the show, that's what made it good.
• In The Stinger, Peter tries to lead into American Dad!, but the show's no longer after them. ^note  For the record, the show that followed was a sitcom called Rel.

315. Stand By Meg

• The episode begins with Principal Shepard marking another win for getting Peter to admit Chris is failing by going "Parentsofafailedkidsaywhat?" The only people who didn't fall for it were Asian parents.
• Chris caused a ruckus at his history class by rapping "Alexander Hamilton was white!"
• Lois asks Meg to take Stewie to a birthday party because she's sick of seeing judgy sitcom moms.
  Black Mom: And I'm the black mom for unrealistic diversity!
• Peter as the spokesman for Deschanel Number 5.
  Peter: For when you want to smell like a 40-year old toddler!
• Chris attending barber school where he cant stop pumping up the barber's chair.
• At the birthday, the entire sequence of Stewie eating a whole grape is done as an opera from the grapes' side.
• Normal Activity, which is a version of Paranormal Activity, but with nothing happening except regular nighttime stuff like sleep farts or waking up to go to the bathroom.
• "Time for Bethanny Frankel, America's favorite talking pirating skeleton."
• Peter has been reading a book of incredibly dated insults whose cover features a stick figure's hat flying off. When Lois fires an insult at him, his hat flies up and he has to fly up an get it, saying she's further along than him.
  Peter: Hehe, his hat is flying off because he's been given a what-for.
• Stewie trying to look sad while wearing flip-flops at a funeral.
  Mourner: Excuse me, the owner of a Geo Tracker with the license plate "FWP FWP", you're blocking the funeral procession.
• Stewie gave Meg all the parts for Romeo and Juliet and Oklahoma! But Stewie crashed both dressed as a Victorian English policeman. He got rave reviews for the first one, and just a "meh" for the second.
• Chris stabbed the Michelin Man.
  Lois: Chris, that's silly but it's still murder!
  Chris: He came from tires, ma!
• Neil Goldman makes Brian and Stewie help him order a pizza and jerk him off saying it's the Sabbath, meaning he's not allowed any physical tasks. When they leave, Stewie says it was a Thursday.
• Kevin Swanson asks Brian to livestream him committing suicide by dousing himself with gas and lighting him on fire.
• At the end of act two, Meg does a one-woman performance of Hair.
  Peter: They should have called it Too Much Hair. (Meg's hat flies off) I finished reading the book.
• Peter tries to imitate Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct to get Chris back to James Woods High. Then Dr. Hartman diagnoses Peter with testicular cancer and Peter does it again.
• The entirety of Goodfellas spoof where Chris does a callback to the opening scene, tricking Principal Shepperd into letting him back into school.
• Due to time constraints, they have to edit the last scene of act three. It ends with Peter having driven a tractor into the living room.
• In The Stinger, the Michelin Man points out Chris to a cop. The cop isn't sure because the Michelin Man is speaking in an effeminate voice.

316. The Griffin Winter Games

• Meg told everyone she was training after some more famous moments, such as the vomiting scene.
  Meg: See? I've been training since I was Lacey Chabert!
• The Griffins drive to Olympic qualifying in the style of a Jeep commercial. Peter keeps complaining about the surfaces they're driving on.
• They celebrate Meg's qualifying by drinking vending machine hot chocolate and burning their lips. Stewie's had whipped cream so he burns his after the others.
• Cleveland hopes there's a gag about the Jamaican bobsled team because he's been practicing his shiver.
• Lois tries to get Meg to endorse an IBS medication.
• Stewie says he's like Tara Lipinski because she looks like a baby and is friends with a gay guy.
• The New York Knicks changing their name to "Pieces Of Dog Shit".
• Gandalf opens a gate by saying "Oksana Baiul", who then crashes her car into it.
• Stewie trying to fit tights on a speed skater. Stewie also said he also fit Garth Brooks into his shirt and pants and reveals it's a projection.
• Somehow Ryan Lochte made it to South Korea.
• At the end of act two, Peter gets hit in the groin by a bird after being caught by North Korean guards.
• Bob Costas tells Lois about Peter with pink eye.
• Peter ruined their trip to La La Land by asking Ryan Gosling to play "Dominic The Donkey".
• "Well, at least I have a side, you neutral Swiss cowards!"
• Johnny Weir hits Chris like a Batman fight, but with gay words.
• Stewie is surprised to learn that Meg knows Sean Astin speeches.
• Meg flips off the empty space in the bleachers where her family would have been, only for a man in front to mistakes this as being directed at him, much to his chagrin.
  Man (sadly): Aww, was that for me?!
  Man (when the race begins):Go everyone but her!!
• Before his firing squad execution, Peter asks for an extra bullet so he can catch it in his mouth.
• Meg and Peter make an impossible video game escape. Peter makes it be Goldeneye and gives commentary on it throughout.
• In The Stinger, Peter gets literally kicked out of Seoul, which leads to Dennis Rodman helping free him again.

317. Con Heiress

• The episode starts with Brian reading the police blotter in the newspaper, noticing that Joe has frequently been arresting Cleveland. It's actually because Cleveland likes how comfortable the police station is.
• Cleveland dreams the Friends of Distinction are performing "Grazing In The Grass" in Peter's lawn.
• Peter as a zookeeper with muscular legs.
• Stewie's head keeps turning around during act one. Turns out he's not being suspicious, his head is too heavy.
  Stewie: I hear the doctor whisper to Lois "3,000th percentile".
• Peter shows Chris a YouTube video about starting lawnmowers by a kid named Cory. Chris reveals that Cory has joined ISIS and is now making videos about making homemade explosives.
• "Panty drop. Swoon. Commercial."
• Stewie notices a medal on Brian's admiral costume is actually a stretched carnival penny. Brian notices that Stewie's top hat is an Amazon Echo with a cardboard disk.
• A passive-aggressive alarm clock.
• Peter doesn't use a lawnmower bag, he mows the lawn with the blower facing Joe's house. As he mows, grass clippings hit the walls and break the windows.
• Herbert singing "Torn Between Two Lovers", then "Conga" afterwards.
• Stewie's phone has an app that searches for thick yellow toenails. It says "Ew" like a metal detector.
• At the end of act two, after it's revealed that Pip's husband is Quagmire in disguise, Seamus learns that his part of the plot has been cut out, which includes a dance routine. But he tries to start the dance anyway.
• Pip's full name is so long, it takes the entire recital of her name for a door to swing back and forth before closing.
  Quagmire: That's a freshly-oiled hinge.
• "You think you can bang a woman who's seen a dodo bird?"
• After Herbert explodes his dog plants part of him into a flowerpot, which sprouts like Groot.
  Groot!Herbert: I am Herbert! (notices kids at an ice cream truck) I am Herbert, I am Herbert!
• Tom Tucker keeps screwing up his introduction until the stage manager hits him with a baseball bat.
• We find out that Pip died $18 million in debt due to a Mindy Project theme park. It turns out she faked her death, and then it turns out...
  Meg: That's right. It was a Meg story.
• The Stinger is just Groot!Herbert dancing to "Conga".

318. Pawtucket Pete

• The episode starts with Peter eulogizing Angela by quoting the lyrics to the themes to The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Friends, and Cheers, and humming the theme to Sanford And Son. Afterwards, it's revealed he's at the wrong funeral because all the guests are Asian.
  • He also reveals she died by swimming within 20 minutes of eating.
• Starting with this episode, Consuela replaces Angela in the opening.
• Peter's new job is to walk around with a flag so everyone else can throw recyclables at him. Mr. Burns and Smithers watch this scene.
  • Whatsmore interesting, an hour earlier on The Simpsons, there was a joke that Disneyland had begun groundbreaking on a Family Guy theme park.
• Then Peter gets regulated to sorting holiday brews and truck driver's urine samples at the same time... by drinking them.
  Peter: And let's hope that's an asparagus IPA.
• Titanic II, which is narrated by Al Gore. He says that due to global warming, the iceberg is now just a normal ice cube.
• Peter's first commercial is similar to a Corona ad, but is set on a New England beach, which features such things as garbage barges passing by and seagulls fighting over a bucket of fried chicken. At the end, a thunderstorm starts.
• Peter tries to ask the Keebler elf how they can bake cookies in a tree while other mascots annoy him.
  Peter: (to Tony The Tiger): By the way, I'm sorry your wife was shot by Donald Trump's children.
• Billy Eichner offering a dollar to Peter's new bosses if they stop talking by alternating words.
• "Hurry it up! Some of us came for Daughtry!"
• Act two ends with Peter being attacked by a goose demanding bread while a parking lot security guard named Officer Goosefear watches.
• Two monkeys at Coachella complaining that the only good band there is Bananarama.
• Brian recording a version of "Revolution Number Nine" where he keeps saying "K-9" over and over.
• The marching band at the parade is lead by Bebe Neuwirth's niece. It's said her hobbies are baton twirling and trying to contact Bebe.
• Peter manages to crash a wedding reception so he can shoot the Brian balloon. All the guests are Asian, and one recognizes him from the funeral.
• Helium from the Brian balloon bursting manages to cause everyone's voice to talk in a high pitch at the end of act three. Except for Jerome's, who says his voice is impervious to helium.
• In The Stinger, Peter managed to escape from jail by taking a hostage.

319. Hefty Shades Of Grey

• The episode starts with Quagmire telling Joe to shut up about Zillow.
• A sign at the mall's food court: "Last Sign Burgers"
• Stewie says that he was right about people being gay. Cut to the scene from "We Love You, Conrad" where Stewie says that Bruce Jenner was a woman.
• "We're like the male version of the female Ghostbusters."
• Cleveland tried to run out of the room and leave a hole shaped like himself. They were in the basement.
• Chris has 28 windows of porn playing on his laptop. He likes to pretend he's a mall security guard watching it.
• Going through sugar withdrawal, Chris tore off Peter's head. He then commands his body to throw the potatoes on his plate at Meg.
• Peter tries to show the movie Flatliners to everyone. They switch to Caddyshack.
• Dr. Hartman says he wants to be known as Dr. Ramirez because he's getting married and he's taking his husband's name.
• A garbagemen with no nose.
• Brian says there was a time where you could watch softcore porn every Friday at 11:45 PM on a channel that was airing only the movie D.A.R.Y.L. for the rest of the week.
• Peter fixed his car in slow motion in an ad for a supplemental blood thinner.
• Peter on The Bachelorette with IBS.
• A Channel 5 reporter has giant eyes that look in two different directions.
• "Coming up, we'll tell you where to look when a person has a birthmark on their face."
• After Chris goes out on his date, Stewie and Brian say it'll go better than their pizza which burned.
• When Peter learns he's going to be in Trump's cabinet for the next episode ("We'll start drawing it right away!"), Lois rips off his head.
  Peter's Head: Well, that's what Washington needs: Another talking head.
• In The Stinger, the writers apologize for being behind on Trump jokes but say they were ahead on Bruce Jenner jokes. Cue a cutaway from "Lottery Fever" where he entertains the troops.

320. Trump Guy

• The episode begins with Stewie refusing to re-record a line.
• Peter's main job in the White House is to check rooms for static electricity before Trump enters.
• A cowboy in a Chinese Starbucks.
• Meg is confused for Chris Christie. Stewie says it's the fourth time this happened.
• Brian says he wrote some of the liberal jokes in this episode.
• Donald Trump gets his hair done in a cotton candy machine.
• In Washington, D.C., the news is reported by Tim Tucker, who says he's not Tom's twin brother.
• Peter as the loudest person in a panel on CNN, shouting about his impotence.
  Stewie: That's why we went to Sandals.
• The closed captioning on Sleepy Hollow trolling a character's dialogue.
• At a press conference, Peter takes questions from himself in various headgear.
• Act two ends with a painting of Grover Cleveland saying that he married a girl he raised since he was 11, which causes Stewie to say he's not getting his own musical.
• Pirates of the Caribbean, but with the sound of Johnny Depp's bracelets louder than him.
• "Your hair is... very hat."
• At a Billy Joel concert, Peter sang "Uptown Girl!" when "Pressure" was playing.
• Trump says that this show is the reason many kids learned their favorite Jewish, black, and gay jokes. Peter says they're phasing out the gay jokes.
• During the Peter-Trump fight, Trump repeatedly slams Peter's head onto a desk button that summons butlers who serve him Diet Cokes before moving him to one that fires missiles.
  • As Peter and Trump fight, two Secret Service agents appeared ready to spring into action, but they were just there to watch the fight as another agent brings the two popcorn.
  • Peter and Trump crash through said Secret Service agents, who were just standing there eating popcorn.
  • Chris wrote a joke where half of Congress cheer whenever one of them lands a punch.
  • After stealing the Spirit of St. Louis and a Pedal-plane, Peter and Trump fall from the Washington Monument, only to land on a Canadian flag air cushion placed by Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau.
  • And Putin wrote the ending where they both agree that he's better than both of them.
    Putin: Can't I not be a stinker?
• In The Stinger, the Griffins tell the viewers about the Steele dossier and that Trump endorsed a pedophile, but it didn't make the narrative.
  Peter: From our family to yours, we're very frightened.

321. Bri Robot

• The episode begins with the Griffins celebrating Brian's birthday. They bought him a cake from the grocery store that was smashed by a bottle of Tide.
  • Rami Malek gave Brian the bags under his eyes and his monotone voice as a gift.
• Stewie told Cleveland skinny jeans aren't for him and that a cowboy vest isn't for Joe.
• After a joke about Alison Janney being tall, the cast apologizes for it throughout act one, but she texted Stewie at the end of the episode.
• The subplot involves a brothel disguised as a massage parlor called "The Girls Aren't The Girls In The Ad Massage". Because Quagmire spent too much time there, their golf foursome was bumped by Shamus' golf foresome, all of whom have golf clubs for hands and legs.
• Peter in the Blue Man Group.
  Blue Man: Peter, what's wrong with your paint?
  Peter: (green around his crotch area) Remember when I wanted a five-minute break?
• Stewie says we're in a "post-biography, Post Raisin Bran" society.
  Stewie: Post Raisin Bran: Like Kellogg's, but worse!
• The robotic Brian is updated with Brian's search history, including a waitress from the local Applebee's.
• Brian uses the robotic Brian to re-enact a scene from The Social Network.
• "Post Raisin Bran: Proud sponsors of whatever the hell's going on here!"
• Chris' first model set, which caused him to start sniffing glue.
• Quagmire says Joe can be easily persuaded. Cut to Joe gasping and cheering while listening to "Tubthumping".
• Peter successfully blackmails Joe into dropping the charges because his monkey cousin got a degree from Harvard in urban planning, not law.
• The Talking Talking Dead, an aftershow about Talking Dead.
• In The Stinger, Peter reveals he only got the job to buy a comb for Lois, but Lois sold her hair for a bottle of massage oil.
  Peter: Great, so I'm an unemployed masseuse with a bald wife. Merry fucking Christmas.

322. Trans-Fat

• The episode begins with Joe handing out peaches to the gang.
  Cleveland: Those are what my granddaddy calls "proposin' peaches"!
• Peter doing karate with socks on. He zaps his opponent and the ref by building up static electricity.
• "Okay, now to have the only exciting thing during the game happen as I turn my back."
• Peter thinks the transgendered sign in the bathroom is a sign for Prince.
• Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire have to direct Peter to where he is on the Jumbotron.
• Peter calls a toilet in the men's room "the Hungry Hungry Hippo" because it always flushed before he could see what he done.
• Peter in a wedding dress. It's Meg's and she kills people with it.
  Quagmire: I can't even begin to describe the density of my illness I feel in my bone marrow right now.
• On a road trip, Joe nominates Quagmire to change his diaper.
• Chris lets Peter's hair down.
  Chris: Now you just go to the salon and you'll be a perfect ten!
  Stewie: Out of a billion?
• Peter lean-dancing into Principal Shepard performing "Creep" during karaoke night at Lowfan O'Reilly's.
• "Hello, bosses and not my family."
• Act two ends with Dr. Hartman says that male-to-female surgery is easier, followed by a clip of Bill Murray saying "That is one nutty hospital."
• Chris talking down to everyone after winning $100 on a scratch-off ticket.
• After Peter gets gender-reassignment surgery back to a man by crowdfunding ("Oh, that's not a K."), Quagmire punches Peter saying Captain Sullenburger was a hero.
• In The Stinger, Peter thanks the cast of Bob's Burgers for showing up, even though they didn't do anything in the episode.
  Bob: I think this was more of a roast.
  Peter: No, a roast is good-natured.

323. Family Guy Lite

• The episode starts with Peter climbing up a flight of stairs while singing the theme to himself.
  Peter: I swear he says the F-word.
  • A Slinky who works in accounting passes Peter and he's managing to go up the stairs, too.
• Lois' story steams up the windows, so he opens himself to cool down.
• Trapped on the stairs, Peter pulls a fire lever thinking it'll make the stairs a slide. It rusts the Slinky as he's trying to delete his search history (which is "Slinky in the Stinky").
• Peter saying he's begun taking erectile dysfunction pills during the silent part of "Faith" by George Michael.
• Brian "paws on the table side mouth" eats cheese and crackers.
• Peter takes Quagmire's place as a Civil War soldier. He manages to get his leg amputated because he dared them to.
• Quagmire spots that Peter's been hiding Skittles in his pants, so he has to pee them out.
• Lois calls Equus "the play with Harry Potter's penis."
• At a Crossfit gym, Peter pesters the owner by asking him why he can't eat pizza.
• Peter manages to order form a McBurgertown while lunging with the gang. He then pretends he's grossed out in a porta-potty while checking his phone.
• After realizing Lois' story is about a possible affair with a grocery store clerk named Horatio, Stewie is forced to work a shift because the uniform includes overalls similar to his.
• Quagmire takes drastic measures by forcing Peter to say he's not having sex with him, which triggers a trap door.
  • A Rancor from Star Wars is also down there because he's also trying to lose weight.
  • Joe and Cleveland accidentally trigger a robotic arm that tosses them out the window by asking things like if they can spend the night or go somewhere to talk.
  Quagmire: Guys, stop saying things! Alright? I will say the things!
• Quagmire makes Peter take the pocket diet, which is everything in their pockets.
• Stewie says that in the final episode, everyone will understand him.
• After losing the weight, Peter's boss Sheila hits on him. He says that a threesome with him and Lois can be arranged, then tries to arrange it then and there.
• In The Stinger, Chris tells the audience to read "The Dirt" by Motley Crue.
  Chris: They snort a row of live ants like cocaine.

324. No Giggity, No Doubt

• The episode starts with Quagmire telling Peter his first line because he thinks it's a rerun.
• Pete's Headphones, a pair of headphones with Peter's face on each side.
• Meg compares her stomach growling to Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of Total Recall (1990).
• Peter cramped in a Fiat.
• On a party bus to the prom, Joe busts all the kids because they're taking horny drugs, then says he's not a narc.
• Meg brought a pickle in a tuxedo to prom.
• The prom king and queen are Connie and a wheel chaired kid with legs like Kermit The Frog, which disappoints another kid with Kermit's head.
• Cleveland breakdancing on a flat cardboard box until he finds there was a staple.
• Joe singing "One Week" off-key.
  Joe: I know all the lyrics, I just don't know them fast!
• After finding out Courtney is his daughter at the end of act one, Quagmire calls Maury Povich to tell a guest he's not the father.
• Act two starts with Quagmire asking Courtney what the theme of the prom was.
• Cleveland dials 911 to joke about Quagmire becoming a dad on his hand.
• After letting Courtney do a roll while flying, he tells another plane they're not humping today. The plane then tells others it's not happening.
• "See Meg, that's a thigh gap."
• Act two ends with Peter noticing everyone from the show, The Cleveland Show, and American Dad! plus the ship from The Orville in his front yard.
  • And there's also the ghost of Angela, Mayor Adam West, and Muriel Goldman who gets pushed by Adam.
• A sign near the campgrounds: "Get your dumps out now"
• Quagmire does a yellow warbler call, but there's a family of them eating and too busy to respond.
• Peter miming hanging himself.
• Meg thinks they're lost because they spotted a rock graffitied "More Please, John Mayer."
• At the end of act three, one of the firefighters that rescues everyone is a decapitated man from act one.
• In The Stinger, Peter tries to do a Seinfeld monologue on pillows, but no one wants to hear it. So he imitates the bassline.

325. You Can't Handle The Booth

• The episode starts with Chris commenting on the mural on the studio.
• Peter reveals that the real house is in Burbank and everyone keeps stealing the mailbox.
• Chris' reaction to Brian not knowing whose bottle of water is on the table.
• Lois talks over a cutaway intro, so everyone has to figure it out on the fly (see spoiler to reveal).
• The writer gives everyone their paychecks. Chris says his goes direct to Draft Kings.
• Stewie says he won a Teen Choice and left it in the kitchen in the hopes that anyone stole it. No one did.
• Lois' reaction to Peter singing "Halfway down the Stairs"
• Lois says that Sarah Paulson doesn't have a Family Guy Wikia but Gronk's dad does. ^note  Which is ironic, because this episode premiered the same day Rob Gronkowski announced his retirement.
• The conflict between Lois and Peter is resolved by Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Mila Kunis, and Seth Green coming into the recording studio to tell the Griffins that they're all fictional characters and none of what they do matters.
  Peter: The Captain from The Orville says we're not real!
  • Peter recognizes Seth as the mouse from Sing.
  • Meg complains that her voice actress Mila is super hot and she's not. When Mila reveals she's had two kids, Chris creepily asks if she's still producing. Then asks Shannon Smith the same thing.
  Shannon: I see now that coming to this booth was a mistake.
  • Chris compliments his voice actor Seth on his work on Robot Chicken.
  MacFarlane: Seth, are you just feeding yourself compliments now?
  • When Brian realizes Seth just uses his regular voice to voice him, he implies he's going to try and steal from him by calling his accountant and pretending to be him.
  • When he leaves, Seth MacFarlane asks the other voice actors to form a human shield around him so he won't be spotted by the crew for American Dad!.
• In The Stinger, Peter says that Brian actually drives a white Mercedes instead of his Prius.

325 1/2. New Phone, Who Dis? (The episode within the episode)

• Winona Ryder distracting Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg address.
• Peter strangles a turtle with a cord to cut out the middleman.
• A bank robbery with skanks. To be more precise, Madonna, Iggy Azalea, and Nicki Minaj.
• Act two starts with a combination of American Crime Story and Alien vs. Predator.
• Ferris Bueller's Day On.
• On their way to Old Sturbridge Village, Lois stops the car so Chris and Brian can go to the bathroom. She refuses to stop for Meg, so she goes in the car. Everyone else vomits.
• Peter discovered the secret to business is pointing at things.
• Act two ends with Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire not hearing the Griffins screaming for help because they're making a rocking chair. Then Joe's wheelchair collapses.
• The Griffins in Trouble, as in the board game Trouble, where they're trapped in the plastic shaker in the middle and are crushed to death by being thrown around in it.
• Peter in an Indian bus. The driver is a cow.

326. Island Adventure

• The episode begins with Peter complaining that he's cleaning the garage when he's got tickets to Pervert Hamlet. We then see a scene where Hamlet admits he had sex with a skull.
• Thanos snaps Cleveland and Joe away. Cleveland says he knew it as he disappears.
• Peter passing a kidney Stone Phillips.
  Kidney Stone Phillips: Or was it... murder?
• Brian left a dump in Quagmire' backyard that's impossible to pick up.
• Stewie says he broke his hymen on his Big Wheel by driving over a speed bump.
• At the city dump, Brian freaks out over all the garbage.
• After a deaf kid gets a device to let him hear, his father says they're getting a divorce and he didn't want to sign it to him.
• Stewie says the Garbage Island is a garbage "hwhirlpool". Brian doesn't respond, but Stewie says that Brian heard him.
• At the end of act one, Peter says he can't be in stories for a couple of episodes because he's pregnant.
• Stewie could afford to rent a boat because he got a part-time job at Target, specifically the in-store Pizza Hut.
• Lois and Peter stoned at an aquarium.
• According to his reading, Stewie says wind is caused by a cloud with lips. When he sails back home using a boat made from his Big Wheel, six margarita machines and sails made from the fans of various Dell computers, a cloud blows the sails in this way.
• A waiter freaking out because Quagmire didn't pay for the bread.
• Brian discovers that Peter sent a fart in a bottle to England in exchange for giving them Russell Brand.
• Stewie explains the Kardashians to Garbage Island inhabitants. Then someone asks what happened to Robert, so he explains the O.J. Simpson trial. Then after mentioning the Dancing Itos, he then explains all the late night talk show hosts. Immediately, someone asks what happened to Craig Kilborn, but it turns out he's on the island.
• Giggity, a spoof of It was Quagmire as Pennywise.
• The construction crew working on an M.C. Escher floor plan.
• In The Stinger, Lois shops at Target while Stewie serves a pizza to a customer in the background.

327. Throw It Away

• The episode starts with Lois and Peter in the audience of a local talk show. According to Lois, the last time she left Peter, Meg and Chris caught him looking at internet corn.
  Peter (led away by police): It was baby corn.
• "That fart was the lady next to me."
• Peter now kills spiders by taking them to the garage and shooting them.
• Lois once thought the secret to happiness is a slice of lemon in a glass of water to wash down six Xanax.
  Lois: Tomorrow, this will seem new.
• Meg finds out her voodoo doll of Lois works.
• Peter decides to keep cords to computers from the 1980s and $70,000 in Camel Cash. He then tests his Buzz Lightyear and Woody toys to see if they're alive, and they fly away when his back is turned.
  • Later, they appear clinging to the ceiling when Lois completely declutters the house.
• Boob Dragons, Cinemax's answer to Game of Thrones. Chris immediately DVRs the season.
• Peter glued back the "Surfin' Bird" record that Brian and Stewie destroyed. When he plays it, the record skips, and his dancing is equally stuttery.
• Brian is working on a funk musical on president William Taft. Naturally, the opening song is a parody of Shaft.
• Peter reveals that Lois' parents pay for the mortgage to their house while Chris pretends to mail the payment in Stewie's Sesame Street mailbox while Peter opens the door.
• Lois thinks Meg and Chris' hats are clutter. When she takes them off, it turns out they're LEGO people underneath.
• Lois' cutaways are getting minimal. We see one where she simply says that Donald Trump's hair is strange.
• Peter interrupted one of Quagmire's threesomes because he wanted Quagmire to read a Clifford the Big Red Dog book.
• After getting banished to a storage locker, Peter tries to make a basket.
  • Amongst what's in the locker: Peter's "Gary the No-Trash Cougar" suit and the Kathy Ireland cardboard cut-out.
• Lois finally finds Stewie's time machine. As she lugs it down the stairs, they are transported into a different time period with every step.
  • And when they're in the future, Chris is replaced with Bender.
• Lois's decluttering gets to the points where she makes Chris "1930s work whistle angry" (his head turns into a steam whistle) and tells Meg to shut up even thought she didn't say anything.
• Cleveland finds towels in what Lois throws out.
• Act two ends with Peter catching Joe steal food from the Griffins' fridge.
  • At the start of act three, he also catches Cleveland steal plumbing.
• They cut out the scene where they realize that Lois is at Mount Asia.
• In The Stinger, Peter plays "Camptown Races" and tells the viewers to pretend it's "Imagine" by John Lennon because they can't afford the real thing.

328. Girl, Internetted

• The episode begins with Peter asking Chris who Meg is.
• Watching a promo for Streaming-Con, Peter replaces his glasses with a monocle so it can pop out when he hears modern lingo.
• One booth at Streaming-Con allows patrons to post selfies in a hospital bed to gets likes and faves.
• Brian crashed his Prius by falling asleep at the wheel listening to Fresh Air on NPR so Stewie could nap. After they wake up from the crash, they hear the show again and fall back asleep.
• Peter wants to celebrate Meg trending on Twitter by making Triscuit mini-pizzas, saying they taste like a pizza made by a horse.
  Peter: Triscuits: Make sure you have some water nearby.
• After Meg got a sponsorship by Magic Shell, Peter made an ice cream version of himself who trapped the real Peter like Han Solo.
• Five radio stations on the loaner Hummer's radio are playing the same song: "Lick It Up" by Kiss.
  • Later Sam Elliott ends a Hummer scene by narrating three verses of "Lick It Up", because that's all he cared to read of the song.
• After Sam Elliott narrates a drive in the Hummer, he tells fans of The Big Lebowski that he's seen the movie and he doesn't need to hear the lines.
• On a sign at an ice cream parlor named Cream Queen: "We Came Up With The Name In The 1940s Before Things Got Dirty"
• Dr. Hartman says that Meg has Type 2 diabetes, the type you're supposed to shame her for, not feel sorry for. He then takes a blood sample as if he was tapping a maple tree for sap.
• Parts of act three are centered around Pancresta, a diabetic drug whose side effect spiel ends up comparing it to heroin.
  Meg: Pancresta: Makes opiates look like fucking baby aspirin.
• Paul McCartney doing Carpool Karaoke with public domain songs.
• Stewie says that when the Prius drives another 130,000 miles, he'll be dead for 18 years.
• Mark Ruffalo hulks out and throws Brian and Stewie into New Hampshire.
  Sam Elliott: I'm Sam Elliott. This concludes your B-story.
• "I was going to take you to prom as part of a cruel bet, but I'm fat now too!"
• At the end of act three, Meg gets a foot transplant from the only fatality when the bleachers collapsed, a janitor. Peter claimed the mop and wears it like hair.
• In The Stinger, Lois complains about both stories, plus the fact that Chris somehow has The Shining and Peter is now a beam of light from taking Pancresta.

329. Adam West High

• The first scene is filmed in front of an audience, during which an audience member is escorted out for trying to hit on Carol.
• After finding out Mayor Adam West is dead, Stewie asks how many characters have been killed.
• Peter's "in memorial" tape of Mayor West, which features clips of West interspersed with Peter making basketball trick shots.
• Principal Shepard has a gambling problem and owes money to a man named "Johnny Payups". At the renaming ceremony, Shepard evades Johnny with coffee breath as a smokescreen and then to conjure a flying surfboard a la Silver Surfer.
  Principal Shepard: I'm liking this episode!
• Peter broke bad news to an improv troupe: They're all 45 years old.
• The ceremony begins with a 21 cat gun salute, followed by Chip and Joanna Gaines revealing the sign to prove their marriage is still okay despite being on TV.
• After learning this is a politics episode, Peter takes a deep breath, then proclaims no one likes them.
• At the end of act one, Peter asks Meg to fart on Brian. It turns out he's taking anabolic farts which are balding him as a result.
• The gang looking at a picture of Sean Hannity and saying who he looks like for a minute. Then they do it with Matthew Perry until Quagmire said he likes Friends.
• Tom hosts the mayoral debate as community service for slapping an Uber Eats guy.
• Brian caused Quagmire's campaign bus to crash by throwing a drink at the bus driver, who's allergic to getting hit in the head.
  • Quagmire also doesn't know the driver's name and believes it's something Spanish-sounding. He settles on "Googardo", then when the driver's corpse falls through the windshield of the hanging bus, they see his jacket and it turns out his name was Frank.
• After the crash, Quagmire tries to call OnStar, but the operator Melissa had a one-night stand with Quagmire.
• Peter hired a raccoon accountant. The cutaway shows a raccoon playing with an abacus.
• Quagmire says he wanted to be mayor to get a street named after him. Brian says he wanted to be mayor because Mayor West went to 65 pancake breakfasts.
• At the end of act three, Principal Shepard rappels down the cliff Brian and Quagmire climbed back up to steal Frank's identity.
  Principal Shepard: The Celtics are free money tonight!
• In The Stinger, since the election was canceled after Brian and Quagmire were presumed dead, the announcer comes on to say to vote for the next mayor of Quahog online. Peter says that your vote doesn't count and they just want to track your data.
  • Later, Brian comes to crash Quagmire's private party. He prepares to cannonball into Quagmire's pool, only to remember mid-jump that Quagmire doesn't have one, so he slams into the pavement and ends up horribly injured.

Season Eighteen

330. Yacht Rocky

• The episode starts with Bert and Shiela saying they're firing a white man because the Internet only allows it.
• Peter gets into a fight with a baseball umpire about whether or not Derek Jeter is half-black, which devolves into an argument about whether or not you need to wash your ice trays after using them.
• Peter's still learning his boss's name, so he rambles off Sesame Street characters.
• Dr. Hartman said that Peter had a panic attack, or in medical terms, "a heart attack for wussies."
  Dr. Hartman: Hey, we have a bet going. Do you remember if you put your wrist to your forehead with your hand like a Nancy boy when you fainted?
  Peter: I choose not to answer.
• Kenny Loggins turns up at the yacht cruise, and Joe complains to him about the song "Footloose". When Loggins asks if he likes "I'm Alright" from Caddyshack better, it turns out Joe thinks the gopher was the one singing.
• Daryl Hall & John Oates are also on the cruise, and when the ship is overturned, Oates ends up clinging to Hall when they're hanging from one of the tables.
  Peter: Big deal, he's been doing that for 40 years!
  Chris: Oh yeah, make fun of someone else more famous than you. He's a millionaire, you're nothing!
  • When everyone falls down, Oates loses his mustache and goes into shock.
• Poor Brian gets forced to spend the whole episode in a doggy cage below deck. Stewie knew it could happen, so he put an old Mattel electronic football game in Brian's bag. When Brian plays it, the batteries die out.
• Meg finally meets a boy who likes her, only for him to get decapitated by an oar when the ship is overturned by a massive wave. She refuses to accept it and starts dragging around his corpse.
• The episode ends on a massive Anti-Climax after everyone is trapped in a room filling with water... only to cut back to the Griffin house with everyone fine.
  Peter: Man, that was crazy.
• In The Stinger, Casey Kasem reads a letter asking why he hasn't been buried yet.

331. Bri-Da

• The gang put up billboards saying that Joe sneezes like Howard Dean (whenever he sneezes, it sounds like Howard's infamous scream).
• The ad for the Quahog Monster Truck Show which frequently mentions that you can smoke inside.
  Announcer: Smell the smoke that reminds you of your dead alcoholic stepdad who you're glad is dead but still miss anyway!!
  • One of the smokers in the crowd is a heavily pregnant woman.
  • "You will not be the fattest person there!"
• Peters "million-dollar idea" about recycling urinal ice by selling it to local bars.
• Ida watches Quagmires sex tape in a bar, and the bartender asks her to stop.
  Ida: Oh, it's okay, I'm transgender.
  Bartender: Oh, I had no idea, do whatever you want all the time.
• Ida says she's free on Friday because Friday Night Videos isn't on anymore.
• Act one ends with Brian running into the hotel bathroom hiding from room service. When room service says it's eggs and Sausages, a giant Brian head pops out and goes "Sausages."
• A waiter is confused over serving Brian and Ida.
• Brian took Ida to outer space to enjoy the view, then throws Ida away from the view when another space shuttle passes by. In the other shuttle, a Russian astronaut does the same to his own transgender date, and he and Brian wave awkwardly to each other through the window.
• When Waldo was found. Turns out he committed suicide.
  Officer: Maybe next time instead of "Where's Waldo?", you should have asked "How's Waldo?"
• Act two ends with Peter texting Cleveland and Joe that he can't make it to the Clam, despite the fact that they just saw him eating dinner in a window.
• Brian talking about airports with Quagmire making "eggs a la Brian" (scrambled eggs with toast and hot ketchup).
• A museum clerk asking how Ida is and if she still has his penis because he's a weirdo.
• Playing backyard football, Peter calls plays from a Denny's menu.
  Peter: Let's run Moons Over My Hammy on three.
• "I already have a dad and it's my mom!"
• Act three ends with Peter saying he accidentally knocked Chris out with the football while arguing over whether or not a one-handed touch counted. When Quagmire says Brian and Ida have broken up, Peter calls that the touchdown counted.
• The Stinger is just Quagmire and Ida watching Night At The Museum and laughing.

332. Absolutely Babulous

• The sign at the Pre-School games: "(Try to ignore the teacher's gun)"
• Peter boos little Kyle Kaepernick at the games for kneeling during the national anthem.
• Stewie gets psyched up by listening to "The Wheels On The Bus".
  Stewie: It's the same thing Ryan Lochte listens to before a race.
• Stewie's participant medal reads "(Not Suitable For Bragging)"
• After Stewie accidentally sets the house on fire, house fire captain Peter does a roll call. He calls Meg "Mac" and Lois "Liam" due to their handwriting.
• Act one ends with Herbert saving Chris from the burning house, then taking him back to his.
  Stewie: You know what? He's earned that.
  • When it happens again at the end of act two, Stewie says that one wasn't deserved.
• Carter greets Peter by putting him in a trash bag, putting him in a garbage can, and having a garbage truck pick him up.
  Carter: Thank you for not interrupting my bit.
• At the Pewterschmidt theater room, there's an old movie trailer about being quiet preceding the news.
• Chris working at a casino roulette table, narrating everything that's going on.
• Lois, Chris, and Meg faking eating Stewie's mud pie with actual mud and Legos.
• After a joke about "Memory" from Cats, Peter says the viewers won't get it, but their parents will hate it.
• "There's an Ed Sheeran song about every mood you're feeling right now."
• After traveling in time back to steal the apple that fell on Sir Issac Newton, everything in the kitchen starts floating because "gravity never happened".
• At the start of act three, Peter find Babs feeding Alka-Seltzer to seagulls. As they talk, seagulls explode and their guts and feathers land on them.
• Peter claims the couple in Grease was a perfect couple. Cut to the wedding of Mr. Rama-Lama-Lama-Ka-Dinga-Da-Dinga-Da-Dong and Ms. Shoo-Bop-Sha-Wadda-Wadda-Yippity-De-Boom-De-Boom, which is interrupted by Mr. Chang-Chang-Changity-Chang-Sha-Bop.
• Carter takes a quick "choke myself awake nap" before heading off to save Babs.
• Sign at the annual pie bake off: "Jason Biggs not welcome"
• Babs tries to complain about Milwaukee's Best, but Carter says it's one of the sponsors.
• The Reveal at the end of act three that the entire story was a daydream while Peter was having while having lunch with Carter and Babs. And he peed himself twice.
• In The Stinger, a drunk Peter tries to give Chris a Tom Brady kiss.

333. Disney's The Reboot

• This episode is done as a focus group with the cast watching through a two-way mirror. Peter sees his reflection and thinks it's a woman.
• The head of the focus group, Von Jeiner, says that Fox will be eventually owned by Netflix, which will then be eventually owned by Pornhub.
• At the start of act two, Arby's executives behind a two-way mirror watch the Griffins eat Arby's.
• It's revealed at the end of act three, a squirrel pitched the reboot. And he also green lit Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
• During the credits, we hear "Pennsylvania 6-5000" with Joe shouting "Your show should have more Joe Swanson!" in the vocal parts.

Lois

• Through this reboot, Peter is on a bicycle.
• In this reboot, Joe and Quagmire are a gay network TV couple who can only adopt children and pucker kiss.
  • Also, Joe can walk in this reboot.
• Lois wonders where she's working. It turns out to be the "Pretty House On The Label Winery".
• Lois and Peter sleep with a ocean sound machine with occasional seagull screeches that wake Peter up.
• The Dramatic Unmask segment where Peter and Lois keep arguing which one of them should be the one disguised as the executive who gave Lois her promotion, and keeps pulling off masks of each others' faces. Peter ends up ripping off his own face.
  Peter: Oops, thought we had one more mask.

The Q

• Jon intros this reboot by saying that upwards of 6,000 people watch supernatural reboots a year.
• The fact that ALL the characters are ridiculously buff and/or hot, even Neil Goldman.
• "Hey, who left their gender fluid in the shower?"
• Stewie (as Zac Sawyer) has to drink a product placement drink. He refuses when it turns out to be Peach Coke.
• At the club, Cleveland takes everyone's food orders.
  Chris: How's the vegetarian lasagna?
  Cleveland: Terrible, even at the best restaurants.
  Chris: Great, we'll have five of those!
• Patty is killed by Werewolf!Brian.
  Stewie: Oh no, who would have thought this would happen to our most expendable cast member?!
• The Reveal that they're all lesser known Marvel superheroes. And so is Quagmire, who is Captain Pedantic. His gimmick is constantly correcting everyone's grammar.
• Chris wonders which of them will become the breakout movie star who will leave and ruin the show. When it turns out to be him (by fading), he cheers.

Family Guy Again/Random Ideas

• The intro to Family Guy Again is just the regular intro but with only Chris, Joe, and Tricia.
• How they wrote out everyone else: Lois and Peter died and Stewie, Meg, and Brian moved to Queensland.
• Joe gets thrown out a window.
• The focus group pitches, including:
  • Peter trying to pass a piece of poop as George Washington's on Antiques Roadshow. It turns out there was a Skittle in it. Peter just tells the focus group he's going to take the skittle out with tweezers and try again in a week.
  • Peter confusing Carpool Karaoke with Taxicab Confessions.
  • The Griffins apologizing for having to comment on pairs diving.
  • The gang with Jon Benjamin's voice. Except for Jerome's because nobody touches his voice.
    • After that part, one of the focus group participants said he really liked it. He's also voiced by Jon Benjamin.
  • Family Guy as Bojack Horseman.
    Peter: *as Bojack* Normal words, but a horse guy!
  • Peter doing a Netflix stand-up comedy special as an "all-setup, no punchline comic", then complains that Dane Cook used all of them before.
    Participant: That was terrible! Netflix should do 800 more of those.

334. Cat Fight

• Peter challenges Joe to a duel for saying "methinks" too much. He brought along a flamethrower and a Ghostbusters laser, which he uses to capture Mayor Adam West.
  Peter: We'll keep him here until we get a new mayor.
• Chris and Meg were caught cheating at school by having two Lost Boys of the Sudan stand in for them in gym class.
• Peter getting in an "awkward crackling campfire argument" with a Christian camp counselor. He also identifies the wood for the campfire as dry.
  Peter: I like cutaways where I get to be smart.
• Quagmire explaining his worst nightmare, which includes him suddenly realizing he's the host and musical guest for an episode of Saturday Night Live.
  • Which turns out to be Brian's worst nightmare: Listening to explanations of nightmares.
• At the ends of act one, Peter asks a crowd if it's taking them longer to wipe themselves because he's been having problems. Then he realizes he had Stewie's brown crayon stuck up his butt.
  • Stewie doesn't find out about this until the end of act three.
• After Quagmire says "squash you like a bug", a family of bugs watching turns off the TV, but the child wants to see the subplot.
• Chris and Meg at a 1940s comedy school, which turns out to be incredibly tame.
  Peter: Also in the 1940's, six million Jews died!
• Since Brian is on local news TV, he speaks into the microphone and away from it to point at things off-camera.
• Stewie and Brian's commercial for fiber, where they have to use euphemisms like "regular" for pooping, only for Stewie to accidentally crap himself after drinking coffee.
• According to camp counselor Vera, Jesus looks like "a man who sells raw milk online."
• Chris says he'll have his lawyer look at a contract with God because of the clause about abstaining from masturbation.
• At the start of act three, Peter brings Quagmire an over-sized Minnie Mouse sweater because anyone with 73 cats should have it.
• Brian complains about why no one else has a purple couch.
• Lois turning into a frazzled Sandra Bullock after her baptism.
  Lois: My ex-husband had Nazi paraphernalia, and he left me!
• The montage of a boy dating a moosehead to "Fernando" by ABBA.
• Brian's muttering quickly becoming "Kibbles 'n' Bits 'n' Bits 'n' Bits."
• After failing to leave "like a serial killer in a 90s movie" (as two buses pass by), Quagmire heals him "like a 1990s action movie" (using part of his shirt as a bandage).
• In The Stinger, Tom plays the start of "We Built This City" just so he can put it in the viewer's head.

335. Peter & Lois' Wedding

• The freakout over the wi-fi going out in the style of the movie Airplane!
• Peter wants to tell the story of The Mighty Ducks trilogy before Meg suggests the plot.
  Peter: It was a time of great nonsense!
• The Running Gag of the Twin Towers showing up in establishing shots.
• 90s!Tom Tucker, 90s!Dr.Hartman (without a mustache), 90s!Seamus (with arms and legs), and Billy Zane performing "Ironic" acapella.
• Peter calls for a transition with a guitar sting that's so long, he has to interrupt Chris near the end of it.
• "We all watched The X-Files, the last hit Fox ever had."
• Lois was introduced to Tom Tucker in the style of the movie Coming to America.
  Tom: In other news, President Clinton sent me a congratulatory cigar, but it was a little moist.
• Peter made a mixtape with has "Cotton Eye Joe" five times (the fifth was unintentionally Quagmire's).
• Peter's bachelor party was at the MTV Beach in the hepatitis-riddled part of Florida known as "Florida".
  • At the party, Peter got to meet his heroes Mark Mcrath, Paulie Shore and Jamie Kennedy. He invites them to follow him into the 2000's, but they're not allowed there. Instead, they walk off into the ocean, never to be seen again. Peter was going to tell the world about them, but got distracted by a half-eaten hot dog.
• Joe hijacks the story with his own flashback because he's telling the story of his days at the MTV Beach when he met Daria, and tried to hit on her, to no success.
• Carter bribes "hottest woman of the 90's" Daisy Fuentes to make out with Peter. Apparently she didn't know how to pronounce her own last name until Carter addressed her.
• "We're having fun 'cause it's not 9/11 yet!"
  • Lois was at home doing what girls did in the 90's - looking at pictures of football star John Elway.
    Lois: My horse-toothed dreamboat...
• The surprise cameo of Peter with Beavis And Butthead (voiced by Mike Judge!) at the end of act two. And what band shirt does Peter wear for this cameo? Friggin' Boyz II Men!
• Cleveland begins act three in the middle of his story about the "black 90's", and he just got to the part about Magic Johnson getting AIDS, but then came back the next basketball season and scored 30 points in a game because all the other players were afraid of touching him.
  • He also reveals that he drove O.J. in the infamous Bronco chase, saying he's innocent.
• To forget losing Lois, Peter created an Internet startup with Quagmire, where they almost end up creating Google, but end up creating Googoogle, a search engine centered entirely around The Goo Goo Dolls.
  • They spend their first day at work doing what everyone did in the 90's - debating if Forrest Gump or Pulp Fiction was better. Peter admits in the narration that he never saw either one. Instead, he watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective like 50 times and laughed so hard he crapped himself in the theater. Then he laughs in the narration when thinking about the movie, and craps himself again.
  • "Like every stupid thing from the 90's" Googoogle ends up taking off, and Peter talks about their party on a yacht which turns into a repeated Do Not Do This Cool Thing about ecstasy.
    Chris: What was the name of that drug?
• Carter announces that the wedding is only two scenes away when talking about the father-daughter dance: He's lowered the song choices to "Macarena" or "And The Band Played On" (the latter of which is from 1895).
  Carter: What, wrong 90's?
• Peter transported himself to the wedding by explosion because that's how everyone got around in the 90's.
• Lois' middle name is revealed to "Commondenominator".
• It's revealed at the end that Peter and Lois got wed at Fenway Park while a game was being played. Peter caught a ball that would have won the game for the Red Sox and he gets pelted with trash.
  • The priest pronouncing Peter and Lois "the last straight marriage".
  • Peter gets chased by a bee in the ballpark and begs the crowd to call Ace Ventura for help, only to crap his pants again.
• In The Stinger, Peter lectures everyone on the lead singer of the Counting Crows and names women he's slept with, which surprises Chris.
  Lois: I always thought he looked like the Cowardly Lion from some white suburban high school production of The Wiz!

336. Heart Burn

• This episode starts in an adult store. Lois finds out that Smash Mouth is playing there... in the store.
• In The Stinger, Chris re-enacts American Pie with a chicken pot pie because they were out of apples, and ends up severly burning himself because the pie hasn't cooled yet.

Helen of Troy

• The war they are fighting over is about peanut butter and chocolate, which Joe calls "The War Of The Greece's Peanut Butter Cup".
• "Greek food proclaimed the burbiest in the world!"
• The Greeks calling jagged rocks a beach.
• "One look at Medusa and I'm rock hard."
  Professor: Mythologically correct.
• After explaining the Trojan horse, Stewie says there's another door that's just covered in beads. The Greek army rushes in, only to discover Troy completely deserted. Stewie finds a note saying that Lois and Peter went back to Greece to get married, which then turns into a parody of Mamma Mia!.
• Peter ends the story after learning that they can't use Hercules and refusing to use Launchpad McQuack.

Romeo and Juliet

• The narrator is Bruce, who goes off the rails discussing that Verona is getting a Shake Shack in the intro.
• After Juliet's father (Carter) says he's not hosting a family feud, we cut everyone on Family Feud, where Peter gets the top answer because he knows the audience: All them of are Peter.
• Carter drags Lois over to the table because "some greaseball" has just drawn the Vetruvian Man, which he finds incredible.
• Mercutio (Joe)'s dying words are "Ralph Fiennes" because he couldn't say the name correctly when he was alive.
• As Romeo poisons himself, he complains that despite everything going on with this, they still teach this in schools.
• Both Romeo and Juliet complain that it's not a good time for sports during their deaths. For Romeo, it's because NBA is over, NFL isn't starting and MLB is in midseason; for Juliet, it's the two months between the WNBA and ice skating season.

Fatal Attraction

• It's the 80's, so everyone is doing cocaine.
• The Running Gag of everyone doing things in silence and non-fitting songs (Including a Rice Krispies ad twice) added in. The sex scene in the elevator has the theme from Inspector Gadget playing.
  Peter: TV themes were longer back now.
• Alex (Lois) keeps flashing the Batsignal. Batman says he sees it.
• "Ah, she said it! That'll be in the trailer!"

337. Shanksgiving

• The show starts with a promo for shows on channels you've never heard of starring actors you don't know, such as Tattling Babies on Blitz Kidz, Frenemy on Gold Star and Comeuppance on LFR America.
  Announcer: Comedies? Dramas? Who knows?! Who's watching? Probably no one!
• Peter and Chris trying to open a dining room table.
  Peter: Lot of narration. It's like a conversation with Ken Burns.
• Cleveland says two of his cousins are members of Tony! Tone! Toni! (the last two).
  Peter: Aww, not the Y one.
  Cleveland: That's right, we're missing the alpha Tony.
• Quagmire spent last Thanksgiving with blow-up dolls and Ida.
  Ida: Glen, I wish I'd given you more siblings.
• According to Peter, the best way to get arrested is to steal packages while the Ring app watches. Peter just ends up rubbing a lawn gnome against his crotch.
  Peter: I forgot to steal the package...
• The gang gets arrested by Police Superintendent Chalmers, the brother of Superintendent Chalmers.
• Act one ends with Peter doing a montage of wacky mugshots.
• Peter watching what he thinks is two guys playing leapfrog.
• It's revealed that Joe disguised himself as Chris for years and Peter never noticed.
• Lois starts smoking because Peter's in jail.
• Stewie's song about prison pen pals, just because Phil Spector's in the prison.
  Spector: Stewie, I know two things; music, and shooting waitresses in the mouth! We're going to make a record! (cue Spinning Newspaper saying Records No Longer Exist with the sub-headline "Infant shot in the mouth")
• Peter analyzing prison wine.
  Peter: I'm getting notes of... well, feces.
• Joe joins a gang called the Not Cops.
• Cleveland immediatly joins the Nation Of Islam. Until he finds out muslims aren't allowed to drink alcohol. Then he changes his name from Kareem-Abdul Jacleveland to Cleveland Hurricane Carter. He later gets his law degree through prison study, and changes it again to Cleveland J. Roman J. Israel.
• "Alright, everyone, that's lanch. I mean lunch. It's my first day."
  • Peter later thinks it's really called lanch.
• Just everything about Lois playing Heads Up with her family.
  Carter: I only like games with sticks.
• According to Peter, Cleveland spoiled Schoolhouse Rock for him.
• Thanksgiving with the Pewterschmidts ended early after Chris was caught watching one of his cousins peeing. Chris claims he wanted to be caught because "that's the point".
• Act three ends with a psychotic who stole the warden's clothes (which don't even fit him) saying that everyone is free due to apologizing because of the rules of The Love Boat.
• In The Stinger, Peter made a license plate that says "BUTHOL", but everyone else doesn't get it.

338. Christmas Is Coming

• This episode starts at the school's Winter choral (a banner says "We Can't Say Christmas Beacuse Of That One Family") performance at the high school, where, to Peter's horror, they perform a version of "Jingle Bells" that has two rarely-sung verses: one about how winter killed a child who ran outside in bare feet, and another warning people about freeing slaves.
• Seamus introduces his son, Woody, saying he'll be a new character.
  Quagmire: You're barely a character on the show.
  Seamus: More than Woody!
• The Griffins try to take a Christmas card photo while Meg idles the car. They end up sending a picture of Peter with a pimple on his butt because he gave Walgreens the wrong picture.
• A mall rabbi for Jewish kids. He's like the mall Santa, but he asks the kids for a TV and to set it up for him.
• "You look like Mom when she sits on the washing machine."
• The image we see when Meg climaxes is Jimmy Connors celebrating a win.
  • Later, Stewie wonders what he'll see his first time. We then see a ball boy running into a wall.
• Act one ends with a food court clerk telling a woman that Meg had six hamburger patties in a hard taco shell.
• Lois notices windows are fogged up like when Subway bakes bread.
  Announcer: Subway: Have it your way if your way is very wet.
• Brian hands Stewie a top hat to vomit in. Then Peter wears it to an opera.
• Stewie offers Meg to be in the next road show episode (claiming it's "Road To Ohio") if she doesn't take her to see Santa.
• After Meg is relieved that Peter isn't the mall Santa who sexually aroused her, Peter asks Meg if the escalator really does have a weight limit or if that was a fat joke made by some mean kids.
• "That's the guy who was peeing in the women's bathroom." (Made funnier because we don't know if it was Meg or Stewie.)
• Act two ends with Stewie trying to commit suicide by jumping in a mall fountain with his jacket pockets full of rocks...only to realize that mall fountains are too shallow to drown yourself in.
• Peter playing Penn State football.
• The montage of Meg driving from mall to mall, which turns into a series of pun-named malls, including "Darth Mall", "Mall And Oates", and "Winter, Spring, Summer, Mall (Closed Autumn)".
• In The Stinger, Stewie complains that various men are now coming through his window.

339. Connie's Celica

• Peter and Brain doing a podcast before they have all the facts with poor sound quality and tons of commercials ("This isn't art, this is commerce").
  Peter: ZipRecruiter: We've vastly overestimate how many podcast listeners are in a position to hire someone.

340. Short Cuts

• The episode begins at Goldman's Pharmacy where Stewie shows Brian a genderless baby announcement card.
  Brian: "It's a they."
  Stewie: Good for they.
• Neil shames Brian into leaving by doing a pharmacy price check joke.
• After knocking out a robber with a rock, a group of rabbis celebrate by setting up a party with a hot two-liter bottle of diet Pepsi, a can of Planters peanuts opened 12 years ago, and half a graduation cake that needs to be thawed.
• Peter stops an argument with Lois by calling for an establishing shot. Cut to the Channel 5 studios with the caption "THIS IS AN ESTABLISHING SHOT".
• When interviewing Brian, Tom Tucker says that Goldman's is getting its ass kicked by a CVS pharmacy across the street.
• Brian opened a Sizzler at Quahog, but turned down the offer of the first meal there.
• Brian paid a hobo who lives at the wharf to thank Brian as Barack Obama.
• Lois' hairstyle forces Peter to try to compare to Anne Hathaway, but Lois slaps him.
  Peter: With my boobs and your hair, everyone's gonna think we're a lesbian couple!
• Tiny Tom Cruise appears at the end of act one. He was hanging on to the wheel of George Townshend's helicopter because he does he can't stop doing stunts.
• Chicago Seinfeld. It's like the regular show, but everyone's fat and knows Kramer's racist.
• "I love that book Charles Dickens by David Copperfield. Writing was his real magic."
• An amateur photographer taking pictures of Peter an outdoor party.
• Annette Bening makes Warren Beatty watch Blue Bloods and eat pudding to distract him from having sex.
• Peter attempts to get back at Lois by wearing just jeans. Lois says Peter looks like he's going to a custody hearing in Florida. The scene ends with a Florida custody hearing taking place. The judge is wearing a Speedo.
• At the end of act two, Brian says that getting neutered will finally stop a kid in his karate class who kicks him in the groin. So he pulls out a sword and Brian tells the sensei who couldn't care less.
• Brian walks into a closet and waits for Stewie to leave. Stewie retaliates by binging Ken Burns' Jazz.
• Lois begins selling homemade jewelry at the brewery's breakroom, so Peter has to move to a table with a guy who was shamed for posting a sheet to sponsor his wife's AIDS walk.
• Peter and Lois argue over what stupid move they'll do next to the point where they make out. Afterwards, Peter says he still hates Lois' haircut.
• Ater Stewie stops the neutering halfway at the end of act three, Brian has a prosthetic testicle that's a bell from a dead jester's hat.
  Jester's Mother: WHY DID THE KING HAVE TO HIT HIM SO HARD?
• In The Stinger, Meg gets early acceptance into college, but only Joe cares about it.

341. Undergrounded

• A Quiet Place starring a Jewish family: The father gets attacked for burping at dinner.
• Cleveland has his own P.O. box for credit card bills and "whatever you think Ice-T would keep in a nightstand".
  • Joe also has one for Seinfeld residual checks.
• Peter making fart balloon animals.
  Peter: Don't pop that, you'll throw up.
• Peter doing a Tina Fey credit card commercial.
• Peter bought a fleshlight in case of blackouts.
• Lois tells Peter he knows about his credit card in Klingon. She learned it to see if some of the girls who did her nails are gossiping about her.
  Peter: (in Klingon) Oh, word?
• Lois is acting like everything's fine on Facebook to post pictures of food.
• Peter at a restaurant where the staff spells out happy birthday with a long clapping sequence between letters.
• In the garage, Peter find his wedding Tucks medicated pads because he had hemorrhoids that day.
• Trying to escape, Peter tries to remember The Shawshank Redemption and hangs himself.
• Peter punching a black belt girl and getting booed for it.
• Underground, Peter unplugs everyone else's Internet. They all freak out except for Quagmire.
  Quagmire: I'm not on the Internet. Some people in this neighborhood read.
• Quagmire thinks Peter popping up in the Clam is his recently deceased uncle Reggie, who they put in a trash bag and threw in a pond.
  • He made a balloon version of himself to distract Lois.
• Act two ends with the Dumb Beaver popping up in the rubble, calling the cave-in his "running out of AirBNB".
• Planet Earth with its original narrator, who didn't seem to care about it.
• Brian ratting on Peter Lassie style:
  Brian: Woof woof woof woof woof!
  Stewie: The fat man dug a tunnel to go hang out with Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire?? We gotta tell somebody!
  Lois: What is it, Stewie?
  Stewie: Waaaah! Waaaaah!
  Lois: Daddy went to a Peter Cetera concert in Cleveland with Robin Tunney??
  Chris: Robin Tunney from The Mentalist slept with the entire Cleveland Browns team??
  Meg: Bad Moms 1 and 2 are now available on most streaming platforms??
  Peter (popping out of the ground): Don't-don't do that, Mila. Not on this show.
• Tom Tucker says that the rescue of the gang is an "anchor out of the studio important" story.
• Joe admits he went to a Coldplay concert. Cleveland says he wasn't there, but he did because he said "Kid 'n Play" on the phone. He's thinking they don't perform anymore.
• During the rescue, everyone cheers when Joe's wheelchair is rescued, but it stops when he pops up.
• The Stinger takes place during Peter and Lois' honeymoon 20 years ago where Lois kills a waitress who says the chef can't make a chocolate chip and gumball pizza.

342. Rich Old Stewie

• The episode begins with Future!Stewie whispering "Fart joke", then dropping a snowglobe on a whoopie cushion.
• Future!Stewie has a shape-shifting valet who can turn into anything, but Stewie wants him to be a shirtless man.
• Future!Stewie has to stop his Man of the Year speech because all the waiters are making noise.
• Stewie created a pill called "Semper Fido" that slows aging in dogs so he can show Brian that global warming was a hoax.
  • As a result, the president is a polar bear. He stops a press conference because he was asked about eating the Presidential Seal.
    Interviewer: Mr. President, what did you do for a Klondike bar?
• Stewie left his family because he didn't do "The Shocker" in a family Christmas photo. He claims no one would notice, but Carter did.
• In the event he was sick, Peter asked Stewie to clear his Google history. Stewie checks and notices a lot of searches for Winnie The Pooh jackets.
  • After searching for cancer symptoms, his next search was for a Winnie The Pooh casket.
• When Carter died, he left Stewie "the dark boathouse" (a boathouse with no lighting). In the cutaway that follows, Stewie and Chris argue about it while Peter sneaks away from shoveling the driveway to vape.
• Future!Chris taught his penis to talk, while Future!Meg runs a business where she tests bulletproof vests.
• Weenie and the Butt are still on the air. The jingle we hear says they're on FM, the Internet, and a new invention called "the orb" where you listen to things in your head.
• Cleveland is still on hold with United Airlines. Seamus is also on hold with Spirit Airlines, but he's hosting The Muppet Show at the same time.
• Every street in Future!Quahog has been renamed for Tom Brady.
• Future!Quagmire is the same, but he can't stop talking about ice cream.
  • There are three ice cream parlors in Quahog, and it's the only thing anyone can talk about (They say "They're all good").
• Lois can't hear well, so she turned on closed captioning that's about thirty seconds behind.
• Future!Tom Tucker has Andy Rooney eyebrows that will distract viewers. Future!Tricia Takanawa hasn't changed and she sneezes in front of senior citizens who call turn into dust.
• Future!Peter's final wish is to play "Surfin' Bird" really slow and move his arms to dance to it.
• Dr. Hartman's son sticks a clown nose on Peter.
• According to Peter, Heaven is full of everyone who died after being on the show and Ed Asner.
  • He also spots Conway Twitty wearing a Darth Vader mask.
• Act three ends with three different reveals:
  • First, it's revealed that Peter faked his death so the Griffins can get all of Future!Stewie's money. Brian based it on The Sting, "the movie from 100 years ago about 150 years ago."
  • Then it's revealed that Stewie knew about it, and blew up the Griffins' house. Brian shouts in pain to get the Semper Fido pills, but he can't because they were in the house.
  • Finally, it's revealed that the entire episode was a daydream Stewie had while staring at an old man costume at a costume shop. He tries it on, but while walking around in it, he says it's "80% balls" and gets his tangled with Herbert's.
• The Stinger is Meg attempting do the end of Evita, but can't because she's the back half of an "Edgar the Farting Horse" costume.
  (fart noise)
  Peter: Hey, I do the farting!

343. The Movement

• Sign at the baseball stadium: "Opening day! Bathrooms already disgusting!"
  • Later on: "Welcome fans! We fixed the bee problem!"
• Just the fact that the team is called the Whooping Scalpers.
• Peter says that tailgating is just leaving garbage in a parking lot before he and Chris throw out an old Christmas tree.
• The team's old coach was nicknamed "Cardiac Arrest" and the pitching coach is nicknamed "Doesn't Know CPR".
  • Carter wanted Homer Simpson to coach, but he's on vacation.
• Peter meeting Cool Hand Luke. Not the movie character, but a guy named Luke who dressed his hand as a rebel.
• Peter tells Meg she's been demoted to American Dad!. He threatens to call The Orville instead, but she takes it.
• The team beating up a player who hit a home run to win the game.
• What caused Peter to kneel: It was Bucket of Shrimp Night, presented by Rocko's Lukewarm Refrigerator Trucks ("Rocko's: We got it there, didn't we?") and he really had to go to the bathroom.
  Announcer: I'm Canadian! What is he thinking "aboot"?
• Tom Tucker doing the news with his father, who hadn't been on the air since 1964 because of his sexist views.
• Brian has to move out again because he tweeted that Dr. Martin Luther King has "Doc" and "Marty" in his name.
• John Wilkes Photo Booth Griffin, who shot Lincoln for giving him bunny ears.
• Peter thinks a fur coat on a stool is, a moldy pumpkin on top of a trash can is Robert De Niro, and someone's Boston Market that feel on the floor is Michael Rappaport.
• Peter has been patted on the back so much, his glasses fell off. Then someone pats him on the back and his eyes fall off.
  Peter: In some comics, this means I'm sleeping.
• Peter threatens to kill a kid with a crossbow if he doesn't learn why Smokey The Bear doesn't wear a shirt.
• The entirety of Peter's Nike commercial.
  • "Nike: You may not know this, but our full name is Nichael."
• Peter gets knocked out at the bottom of an escalator. Birds fly around his head, but they get crushed by the escalator.
  Carter: Oh, Disney's not gonna like that.
• Peter wondering why the Wakanda-esque version of Quahog made for African-Americans wasn't part of The Cleveland Show. Cleveland laments that, had the show not been canceled, this episode would have been their fifth season premiere.
  • According to Cleveland, the other white guy who knows about the place is a Postmates guy who delivers Taco Bell to Cleveland, then has to go back because he forgot a soda.
• Two sports announcers in a very small booth.
• Kevin Nealon subliminally got Carter to get front row seats and sing the national anthem.
• Peter's speech ends with Peter playing "The Hamster Dance" as a new national anthem.
• The Stinger is Meg trying to do the intro to American Dad!, then learning that it'll be the same

as on Family Guy.

344. Baby Stewie

• The scene at the wedding:
  Priest: Now the bride and groom would like to share a moment of silence, to honor the family members who have passed. They may not be with us in person, but they are with us in spirit.
  (Beat)
  Stewie: Poo-poo!
  Brian: No! We do not touch poo-poo in this family! We do not touch poo-poo! No! Hands up! That's it! Now there's no bubbles later.
  Stewie: Yes, bubbles!
  Brian: No bubbles. You lost the bubbles.
  Stewie: Yes, bubbles!
  Brian: Maybe you can earn them back, but as far as I'm concerned, you've lost the bubbles. They're gone. They're probably gone.
  (cut to Brian and Stewie at a reception table, with the former exhausted and the latter blowing bubbles)
  Stewie: Yay, bubbles!
  Brian: (to the bride and groom, who give him a dirty look) What!?

345. Start Me Up

• The episode starts with Peter listening to jingles for Devin and Lawrence (formerly Weenie and the Butt, but had to change it because of the #MeToo movement and several female coworkers coming forward with claims that they've sexually harassed them).
• Peter playing poker wearing sunglasses reflecting everything, including an incoming cell phone call from his secret gay boyfriend.
• Chris and Stewie wrecking the electronics store in a Funny Background Event while Brian argues with the clerk about returning a computer keyboard: They fight about sitting in a massage chair and end up smashing several rows of display televisions.
  • Brian tries to explain the $3,000 in damages to Chris by counting in thousands, but Stewie says Chris may not know how to count to 3, much less 3,000.
• Lois throws out a jar of sunflower butter because a kid with peanut allergies who was in Stewie's class died.
• Peter as a very sweaty bomb defuser. His failure to defuse a bomb is shown to a bomb squad class to ask what went wrong.
• Indiana Jones and the Temple Beth Shalom. It's a Jewish woman asking Indiana Jones to date her frumpy daughter.
• A concerned Midwestern Mom narrating Free Solo.
• Act one ends with Peter giving office petty cash to a hooker and apologizing for not finishing while on cocaine.
  Peter: Watch out for the floor, you're pregnant.
• Peter catching a bus, subway, and a ferry twice (because the first time, he forgot his phone) just to go to work from home.
• Peter as a bodega cat.
• Stewie's meeting has New York on speakerphone. To be more precise, it's assorted sounds of New York.
• Lois to sent to Human Resources for kissing Peter. The HR manager touches Peter and she ends up getting reported to Super HR for sexual harassment.
  • Stewie, Brian, and Chris ending up in Super HR after Stewie suggests that they pull a Casting Couch on the actresses they'll audition for their movie. Stewie gets out of it by coming out as transgender.
• Peter gets Lay's WOW chips to come back (despite that they were pulled for causing loose stools and diarrhea, which is Truth in Television). When he eats one on the toilet, he farts and gets sent up to a boardroom on the next floor.
• "I also want to ask a question without looking at the screen."
• During the script reading for the movie they have to do, Chris is on the speakerphone on a delay.
• Act three ends with Principal Shepard and Bruce going into a business that sells mugs wrapped in cellophane with a penis (blurred out on the TV version) on it.
• The stinger shows Brian, Chris and Stewie's movie premiere where they get booed and the bomb class teacher from earlier tells his class not to be "...no-talent jerks who make a Kickstarter movie".

346. Coma Guy

• This episode starts at a cocktail party where a stuck in the kitchen Brian tries to get in.
• When Lois gives Peter a list of junior high books, Peter says that they're also porn categories.
• Peter and Lois playing Truth or Dare with present-day Madonna.
• Just the fact that Peter thinks the album "1984" by Van Halen is the George Orwell book 1984.
• The car chase between Peter and the Police while Peter is blasting "Panama." It should be seen to fully appreciate it, but everything; Officer Stickbutt, Peter's timing of his jump...it shows that there is still gas in the show's tank.
  Dispatcher: "Stickbutt break pursuit, Panama kicks too much ass and shreds way too hard. You'll never catch him."
• A Secret Service agent returning the rental car JFK was shot in.
• Lois makes Peter return the album by showing him a pancake with a frowning face made of banana slices.
• Act one ends with an EDM DJ telling Meg and Chris Peter's in a coma.
• A look in Peter's coma starts with Peter doing the backing into the bushes meme with Homer Simpson.
  • It also includes Peter being sentenced to an awkward dinner with Joaquin Phoenix by a jury of Giant Chickens.
• Joe and Bonnie ask for Peter's rakes.
• Dr. Hartman asks if Lois likes Peter before saying he's brain-dead to determine if it's good or bad news.
• How Peter wakes up from the coma: He's about to board a boat with other dead characters (including Quagmire's girlfriend from "And Then There Were Fewer"), but learns there's no wi-fi.
• Act two ends with Peter pretending he's flatlining again after someone from the mortgage company visits saying he's three months late on payments. The man doesn't fall for it, so he imitates a cotton candy machine.
• Peter's Black Mirror-themed cutaway where he gets phone calls from himself... except for one who sent a picture of dog poo.
• Peter as a white woman on vacation.
• Peter makes the other Griffins give Timothy Olyphant one complement each about The Santa Clarita Diet.
• The flashback montage of them painting the living room wall to a song performed by a fly on the wall.
• Act three ends with all the couples at the airport making out. Then Peter calls to switch partners and gets a guy, but goes with it.
• In The Stinger, the Griffins paint the living room wall again while another fly on the wall sings conspiracies.

347. Better Off Meg

• This episode starts with Principal Shepherd riding through the empty halls of Adam West High on a tricycle on Skip Day.
• Meg gets a woman's size 7 bowling shoe for her left foot and a men's 11 for her right.
• After bowling a strike, the animation Meg gets is a cowboy bowling ball shooting bowling pins dressed as Indians.
  Bruce: We have not updated those.
  • Later, we see another animation where a bowling ball in the American flag design nukes pins dressed as the Japanese.
• The gang thinks Meg is a barrel with Meg's wig and hat. They even use a picture of it at the funeral.
• Tom repeatedly mentions the crash that presumably killed Meg took place near his apartment.
• "Again, for those of you in a new scene: Meg Griffin dead."
• At the funeral, Peter says that since they're in the front pew, he's hoping the priest picks him to get on stage and dance.
  • Brian and Stewie projected holograms of themselves at the funeral and just went to Chuck E. Cheese.
• Act one ends with Meg opening a door and finding the priest with an altar boy.
  Priest: Don't you know what a rosary on a doorknob means?!
• Meg places roses on her grave ("1999-Season 18") while listening to "Kiss From a Rose" barked by an actual seal.
  • When tied to a chair at the start of act three, she listens to "Get Closer" partially barked by a seal.
• Stewie says that the Griffins will save money on toilet paper because of how Meg wiped.
• Meg's new identity is Natalie Hallway.
• Thirty years in the future, Stewie runs a bakery that, under Supreme Court order, is forced to bake cookies shaped like penises for a gay wedding.
• Sign at Adam West High: "R.I.P. Meg. Also, RSVP for MLK BBQ ASAP"
• Shepherd gives Chris the keys to the driver's ed car to prove he's not driving it home.
• Chris says that Peter got a Peloton but doesn't use it because of the wi-fi.
• When Meg's life flashes before her eyes, there's no footage of her anywhere, just scenes like everyone else puking and Peter introducing Conway Twitty.
• At the high school memorial service, Shepherd says the Quizno's across the street took out a full page ad for the yearbook.
• When Meg enters the high school, Peter notices she's wearing dark shoes.
• "Alright, everybody throw confetti and ruin the janitor's weekend."
• In The Stinger, Lois says she fakes being interested in what Peter does at work. Then Peter says he fakes liking egg salad. Then a raccoon says he fakes liking Peter. Finally, they all fake orgasms.

348. Holly Bibble

• The episode starts in a motel room where the Griffins watch CBS, "the loudest channel on TV." Cue them being pummeled by NCIS, and Peter bleeding from the nose while Stewie is thrown across the floor by the force of the audio.
• All the jokes about common motel rooms throughout the episode.
• Chris opening a Cattle Ranch Doritos bag, and Peter drowning out the stench with AXE body spray.
  Peter: There, now we all smell like a nightmare Tinder date!
• Lois calls the bible "Harry Potter for stupid people" Stewie tells her to tone it down because it's offensive to the open button shirt necklace community.
• "In case of fire, follow the older, heavyset lady wearing just a t-shirt. There are no dining facilities, but guests are encouraged to visit the Applebee's, which is just a short walk across the six-lane highway."
• In The Stinger, Chris says he's keeping the Bible and reads passages of it as a night watchman.
  Chris: And that is why I'm not gay.

Adam and Eve

• "In the beginning, God created the heaven and earth, and the sitcom joke that goes, 'That went well.'"
• Adam (Peter) wants to name everything "Casey", so Eve ends up suggesting the word "bird" for a bird that flies by, which leads to a "Bird is the word" joke. Back in the real world, Lois tells him to knock it off.
• Adam complains that he made the leaf covering over his genitals from poison ivy.
• God leaves Adam and Eve (Lois) alone because his girlfriend was accepted into an art show.
  God: So if you need me this week, I'll be nibbling terrible cheese cubes with Santa Fe-people who couldn't cut it in the real world.
  Adam: Is any of them named Melody?
  God: THEY'RE ALL NAMED MELODY!!
• The Serpent (Quagmire) convinces Lois to eat the forbidden apple by telling her it's full of anti-oxidants.
• After being kicked out, Adam and Eve are forced to live in the opposite of Eden: Jacksonville, Florida.
  Adam: Well, time to fit in. Let's have sex with gum in our mouths.

Noah's Ark

• Peter sneaks in lines from Bill Cosby's "Noah" and "Chocolate Cake for Breakfast" routines at the beginning, saying all his bits are up for grabs.
• "There's no school. There was another mass stoning."
• Noah (Peter) stole the wood from his neighbor Cleveland's house. Cue another bathtub gag.
• Noah sorted the bathroom from what kind of poop they give. The geese and wombats complain.
  • He also made the animals room with their natural prey, such as lions and baby antelopes, bats and bugs, pitbulls and city babies, and Christian Bale and an annoying cameraman.
• "And then, like any other father on a boat, Noah quickly became a total dick to his family."
• The family has difficulty keeping themselves busy while on the ark, because Noah threw the Monopoly game overboard on the third day because he couldn't be the hat. He then throws the Game of Life overboard because Chris took the blue car.
• Peter says that God only pours rain on places where there's too much butt stuff going on. So he and Chris vow to stop doing it if it stops raining.
  Stewie: Let it pour.

The Last Supper

• The episode starts with Jesus (Peter) and Mary (Lois) dying Easter eggs.
• The reason they're holding the last supper: They're holding a fantasy football draft.
• Sign at Pontius Pilate's (Carter) office: "Formerly Penny's Pilates"
  • Pontius points out that Edie McClurg is voicing his secretary.
• Judas (Brian) is unsure about betraying Jesus for 30 pieces of silver until Pontius (Carter) offers him two dirty tennis balls as well.
• Jesus talking about the Bigfoot pizza.
• "Quiet down, Judas. There's a Judas among us... and it's Luke."
• The Centurion who shows up to arrest Jesus turns out to be the Giant Chicken, and the two prepare to have an epic chicken fight, but the story ends there.

349. Movin' In (Principal Shepherd's Song)

• This episode starts with Meg being forced to give Chris her pants because Chris somehow forgot to put his on before he left the house.
• Principal Shepherd massages Chris shoulders through the morning announcements so he can tell the sexual harassment court he does it to everyone.
• Principal Shepherd's fat-shaming is heard by the school because he thought the speaker was hooked up to Alexa.
• Stewie watching Bugs Bunny make a tenor hold a high note from an opera in his room.
  Stewie: Ain't he a stinker?
• Peter and Lois looking at their iPad during Suits, even though they were told not to.
• Peter apparently thinks Chris's name is "Keith".
  • And Lois thinks Meg's name is "Mary".
• "School should be a safe place where kids are shot sometimes!"
• Peter's daydream that Chris is crowned "Biggest Boy" at the state fair.
• After getting fired from the school board during a meeting, Shepherd turns the lights off even though everyone else is still there.
• Brian discovers that Stewie has written a kids book about him called "Flunky, The Dumb White Dog", that portrays him as a clumsy moron.
  Brian: My catchphrase is Herf Derf?!
• Stewie in charge of the Salem Witch Trials, which turns into Stewie almost being exposed as gay.
• Principal Shepherd's first name is revealed to be Firstname.
• Act one ends with Peter texting Shepherd to ask Lois to move all the beds to one room and put a trampoline in another.
• Chris doesn't recognize Shepherd without a tie on.
• After Shepherd moves in with the Griffins, he starts organizing the family like a school, and makes Peter eat with the "special" class in a shed outside the house.
• Peter says he ad-libbed a eulogy at his aunt's funeral after seeing the corpse slide out of the coffin.
• After just three minutes in the basement, Meg triggers a game of Russian Roulette by attempting to kill Peter.
• At the trial, Stewie tries to prove that Brian is dumb by asking him the difference between Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg, but it's objected because no one can.
• The Griffins doing a Breakfast Club dance for the promo (which blew the show's budget for a sequence where they actually try to escape from the basement).
• Peter accepting a Facebook request from his high school crush, but it's really Joe catfishing him. Then Chris catfishes Joe.
• The jury foreman tries to delay the verdict one day because the hotel they stay in has free HBO, but it was only a preview that ended that day.
• After being re-instated, Shepherd notices a dong on his desk that Peter drew.
• In The Stinger, Stewie learns Brian created his own book series Swishy, The Football Baby, which portrays Stewie as a Camp Gay weirdo with catchphrases like "Hey, sailor!", "Who's up for brunch?", and "I'm a bottom!"
  • Chris pitches a crossover book of Flunky, The Dumb White Dog and Swishy, The Football Baby, but the publisher rejects it. So Chris reads erotic Phineas and Ferb fan fiction while the publisher eats soup.