Funny / FTL: Kestrel Adventures

...and a jar of Nutella!

• The first lines when Ricardo steps out of the Kestrel's Airlock.
  Jose: Why are you breathing so heavily?
  Ricardo: Everyone breathes heavily in space.
• Ricardo and Jose's faces after being told they have to go to the front lines. Priceless.
• Jose's reaction to the rainbow horse.
• Manon's response to the rainbow horse soon after being reactivated.
  Manon: (Bows) Your majesty...
• Ricardo fixing the oxygen pipes with duct tape.
• Sambo upgrading the doors as an apology for risking their lives at a Mantis War Camp.
  Jose: How did you replace the doors so quickly?!
  Sambo: Uuh... I... I don't know.
• Scrap rap!
  • And Charlie's reaction!
  Charlie: Take me back to that smouldering rock where you found me.
• Episode 5: While during her talk with Jose, the animation for Agent Morocco resembles her smiling. However, once Jose asks her what their chances of survival are, her eyes widen, and her mouth just becomes a straight line.
• In Episode 5, Jose whistles and the Kestrel PLOUGHS right into the side of the abandoned research facility.
• Episode 6 has little humour and is fairly dark. It ends with this gem:
  Pavalo: Everyone meet in the kitchen. It looks like we have some explainin' to do.
  [Beat]
  Sambo: We have a kitchen?!
  • And then he continues to question about their living arrangements over the credits.
  Sambo: What about bedrooms, bathrooms, where's the door for them? Could I take a shower on this Ship? I don't know if you guys have notice, but I stink after being on that pirate ship. How come nobody told me of these things?!
• In Episode 7, it is shown that scrap is replacing the old currency, and the Slug seen in a few episodes prior is now a millionaire.
• "The fight was indeed, crazy."
• T He Slug selling cats as Human Food could be a case of Crosses the Line Twice.
• The 'dreaded' pirate Tuco.
  • And his ion weapons made Manon act... strange.
  Manon: Creamed corn! I love creamed corn! Cream corn is good!
  Manon: Ladies unmentionables!
  • The entire crew bursts into laughter after the battle, even Pavalo.
  Ricardo: Ladies unmentionables?!
  Manon: Please discontinue your laughing protocols.
• The beam obsessed mercenary in Episode 9
• After Pavalo makes a deal with Don Deroceras to land the Kestrel in Kaban, a merchant offers to trade fuel for drone parts. Pavalo simply pushes him away.
  Merchant: Greetings! Your arrival is most fortuitous. We recently came across some extra drones. If you have some fuel, perhaps we can make a deal?
  Pavalo: (Pushes the Merchant away) No!
  • Even funnier if you played the game when you realise that the entire Kaban arc is set during a merchant's trading event.
• The fact that the Kestrel or Sambo^note who has been in pirate captivity before becoming a crew member. somehow has WHITE PANTS.
• One Rebel soldier offers a better solution to alien life.
• The entire scene where the Kestrel Crew kidnaps Dag Key.
  Sambo: Whipperwhale!
  Dag Key: Whip-whipper-what?!
  (Cremity knocks Key out with a trash can)
  • Also the interrogation scene to find Jose and Ricardo's whereabouts.
  Dag Key: (laughing) That old intimidation tactic? That won't work, you purple dork! We're in a well-lit room!
  Sambo: Well you don't know where I buy my lamps! (Switches the lamp to its highest setting)
  Dag Key: AH! MY EYES!
  (Sambo, Pavalo, and Cremity are seen wearing Sunglasses behind the lamp while Dag is blinded)
  Sambo: Ironically, at Sharper Image.
  • When Charlie and Liam also interrogate Dag Key afterwards.
  Liam: (In a savage voice) Mmmm, fresh human meat... It's been so long since I've had a taste...
  Dag Key: 'whimpers'
  Charlie: (also in a savage voice) Save the brains for me, Blades! I like to, crack the skull open, and slide 'em down my throat!
  Liam Wait Boulders, the humans said we should only eat him if he's no use to us.
  Charlie: But I'm soooo hungry.
  Liam: Well, maybe we could just eat the legsssss...
  Key: No no no no, not my legs, NOT MY LEGS!
  (Liam pokes Key's leg)
  Dag Key: (Whimpers), Alright, alright, I'll talk, just don't let them eat me.
• When Jose uses his new snake companion to distract a Rebel Solider while escaping the Kaban Rebel base.
  Jose: Go Go Gadget Snake!
  Rebel Soldier: (Struggles) Aaaahhhh!!! Snaaake!!
• In Episode 21, Cremity sets off a Fire bomb in the Rebel tower.
  Darjee: Oh scrap...
  (The Fire Bomb detonates, flooding the top floor in flames)
  Cremity: I helped!
• When the Zoltan Peace Envoy speaks with the Kestrel crew, it immediately bores everyone to tears. Everyone that is, except Cremity, who is intrigued with everything they say, much to the surprise of a sleeping Jose.
  • This also leads to this moment after Cremity spares the pirates who raided his station.
  Charlie: Cremity, I don't get you.
  Cremity: No one gets me, I'm the wind baby.
• The 'Boulders and Blades' T shirts. Nuff said.^note The so-called gym that Charlie and Liam create with merchandise, g
• Charlie's discussion about Rock reproduction.
  Charlie: Look. I don't have folks. My race reproduces by budding.
  Sambo: Budding?
  Charlie: UH, I'm not going to explain it to you! Just look it up or something!
  Manon: Budding is a type of asexual reproduction in which-
  Charlie: NO MORE! Let's just say, I had an older brother.
  Ricardo: This is the best conversation I've ever heard, and I'm thankful to have witnessed it.