Funny / 8 Simple Rules

• "I am looking for a gorgeous blonde named C.J."
  • "I've never met him in my whole life!"
  • And in the same episode, the fake ID Bridget gets for Kerry is of a 31-year-old woman. Made even more hilarious with the knowledge that Kerry was played by a 26-year-old.
• From the episode "Premiere" after the kids have accidentally walked in on the parents...well you know

  Paul: You could have knocked.

  Kerry: It's seven in the morning. I thought you couldn't do anything until you had your first cup of coffee.

  Bridget: Yeah, there's already one baby. What are you trying to do, make twins?

  Kerry: Yeah, that's how it happens

  • And earlier in the episode:
  Bridget: (notices Kerry wearing her earrings) First you steal my popularity and now my earrings?
  Kerry: You forgot about your boyfriend.
  Bridget screams and jumps on top of Kerrie.
• In one episode "Pauland" his family is invited to a famous athlete's house for dinner so he can write a book about him when he's talking about how he'll rent a suit, Kerry and Bridget run down the stairs as Bridget gives Kerry a wedgie. Paul's response?

  Paul: Can you rent kids?

• In one episode, Bridget, Kerry, and EVEN C.J. calls Grandpa Jim whenever they get scared.
  [A scary-looking guy stares at her/them/him and bought something for her/them/him.]
  Bridget/Kerry/C.J.: [get cellphone out] Grandpa, I'm scared.
• While Cate is performing "Daddy's Girl" in a Heartwarming Moment in a bar one guy buys Kerry a beer. Cate gets down off the stage, takes the beer away and shakes her head at the guy without stopping singing.
• Cate trying to cheer her sister up after a divorce:
  Cate: Taking a bath always makes me feel like a new woman.
  Maggie: Ted found a new woman.
  Cate: I meant when I'm taking a bath, I'm always a nude woman.
  Maggie: I found Ted with a nude woman.
  Cate: You know, it's probably best not to dwell on Ted.
  Maggie: I found Ted with a nude woman in a dwelling.
• "Rory Hennessy doesn't serve cold lasagna!"
• From the very first episode:
  Paul: I'm mad at something you said.
  Cate: What?
  Paul: Let's start a family.
  Cate: Well you're the one that wanted to keep going until we had a boy.
• Kerry is forced to avoid being sarcastic and so Paul wears a hideously patterned sweater to annoy her.
  Kerry: Mom, I'm going to write something down on a piece of paper and I want you to say it to Dad.
  Paul: If it's sarcastic, you're still out.
  Kerry crumples up the piece of paper
• Cate has just discovered Kerry has pot in her school bag (while Rory kidnapped a police dog and Bridget is dating a guy with a motorcycle).
  Cate: I'm just trying to figure out what's happening to my good child.
  CJ: The thief, the druggie, or the biker chick?
• Cate's attempt at currying favor with Kerry by baking cookies ends up failing because she can't remember Kerry's favorite flavor (peanut butter) — the cookies she bakes turn out to be butterscotch flavor (Bridget's favorite) instead. She tries once more (this time to compliment Kerry for helping Bridget out with her studies), only to fail again because the cookies this time are oatmeal & raisins. Worse yet, Cate herself is the only one in the family that fail to remember Kerry's favorite cookie flavor, as the mere mention of the oatmeal & raisins flavor prompts an Oh, Crap! reaction from Jim, Rory, C.J., and Bridget, who immediately drop the cookie each of them is holding and start Backing Away Slowly.
  Kerry: PEANUT BUTTER!!!
• In "Closure," Kerry kisses her ex-boyfriend Bruno, then races out of the attic.
  Kerry: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
  Bridget: You shot him?
  Kerry: Worse. I kissed him.