Funny / Eight Crazy Nights

• "The only time I had sex was on the phone..."
  • "But that was long ago..."
  • And the phone sex line number? 1-555-BOOBIES.
• "I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong haaaaaand?!"^note "Yes..."
• "My finger's in your mouth, kitty, but I don't feel no teeth."
• The Mayor opens the award ceremony by wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and is met with a thunderous "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" by nearly everyone in the room. He then wishes the town's Jewish citizens a happy final night of Hanukkah as is met with a barely-audible "Happy Hanukkah..." from a table of about three kids.
  • "Knock-knock." "Who's there?" "Dontcha." "Dontcha who?" "Don'tcha wish I hadn’t been so darn busy at the hardware store this year and I had more time to come up with a great one?". Cue the in-universe audience laughing so hysterically that it causes involuntary physical reactions: kids shoot gobs of boogers out of their noses, the deer (watching through the window) rapid-fire poop, the Chinese waiter rips off his shirt and pounds his head on the table and the rabbi starts doing That Russian Squat Dance and going "Hee! Hee! Hee!" over and over. Eventually, you, the viewer, have no choice but to find it funny too.
  Benjamin: Mom, I didn’t get that one.
  Jennifer: I don’t think anybody did. People just try to be nice to the mayor.
• "EAT THAT NUTSTRAP, BEEYATCH!!!"
• The "Technical Foul" song.
  • "But I'd like to see it anyway!"
  • "If I ... give sugar cookies to Ms. Diabetes?!" "That's not only a technical foul... but possibly a homicide!"
• At the beginning, Whitey tells Davey to stretch, in which he flips off Whitey repeatedly, and Whitey doesn't realize what it means.
  Okay, that's good, but don't forget your hammies.
• This scene:
  Benjamin: Hi, Whitey. I got another Hanukkah present tonight.
  [he holds up a Game Boy Advance]
  Whitey: Wow, Benjamin, an Etch-A-Sketch. Not too shabby!
  Davey: That's a Game Boy, you idiot.
  Whitey: Oh sorry, I'm not up on modern technology.
• "Good night, mayor! And the answer to your question is Spencer's Gifts. They definitely have furry underwear."
  • "You're gross!"
• The corn dog scene. "Oh, how futuristic!"
• After the sad Intervention Song ["Let it out, Davey!"] musical number, the cops come in, and Davey escapes by handcuffing them into a position that looks like one giving anal to the other.
  Cop: Well...this is embarrassing.
• When the Jerkass basketball player is seen eating the fat sweaty guy's jockstrap after losing the bet, it's kind of funny in a gross way. When he later burns down Davey's trailer, quickly turns around to face the camera, and you can clearly see that he's still chewing on the jockstrap, it suddenly becomes hilarious!
• The opening in which a very drunk Davey pretends to have immodest sex with his car in front of two cops who were threatening him with DUI. One cop looks understandably exasperated. The other is crying!
• Davey angrily using his French fries to spell out "Bite me" as he and Whitey are eating at the food court.
  Whitey: (smugly) Joke's on you, pal: I can't read!
• During Bum Biddy right after Davey says "shithead," Whitey says "feces" in the flashback. Apparently, even in flashback form, Whitey tries to clean up Davey's language.
• The Radio Shack radio telling Davey to open his parents' Hanukkah card because it might have money in it.
• "He was just kidding son, you have very nice boobs."

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