Funny / Doctor Who Series 6

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"A Christmas Carol"

• The reason Amy and Rory are in their Policewoman and Centurion outfits.
• The Doctor's entrance to the episode via the chimney:
  The Doctor: [dusting himself off] Ah... Yes. Blimey. Sorry, Christmas Eve on a rooftop, saw a chimney. My whole brain just went "WHAT THE HELL!"
  • The fact that the Doctor rolls out of the fireplace.
• Upon spotting the "weather control" device:
  The Doctor: A big flashy-lighty thing, that's what brought me here! Big flashy-lighty things have got me written all over them! Not actually, but give me time, and a crayon.
• It's tricky to adapt A Christmas Carol yet again, but if you're going to do it, go for blatant Lampshade Hanging all the way:
  The Doctor: I've only got one night — one night — to make a very nasty man change his ways and let that spaceship land.
  Amy: Doctor, I can't hear you. What's that noise?
  [the speaker on the street corner is blaring Christmas music]
  The Doctor: It's a Christmas carol.
  Amy: What?
  The Doctor: It's a Christmas carol.
  Amy: What?
  The Doctor: [realizing] It's A Christmas Carol!
• The Doctor’s claims about various Sardick household staff winning the lottery, particularly when he tries it in the past:
  The Doctor: (on a video screen speaking to Young Kazran while Old Kazran watches in the present) Good old Mrs Manters, only went and won the lottery.
  Old Kazran: THERE ISN’T ANY LOTTERY!!!
  Young Kazran: There isn’t any lottery.
  The Doctor: I know! What a woman!
  • Also, the implication that the Doctor took the time and trouble to create a lottery just to get rid of the old babysitter.
• After the Doctor enters young Kazran's room through the window:
  Young Kazran: Why did you come in through the window?
  The Doctor: Because if I was going out the window, I'd be going the wrong way. Pay attention.
• The psychic paper. The paper has said he's everybody from the King of Belgium ("The Idiot's Lantern") to possibly the Pope ("The Vampires of Venice"). When he wants it to simply say, "I'm a responsible adult", the lie is so big that it shorts out the paper. What deserves mention here is the way the whole thing is delivered:
  The Doctor: I think you'll find I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult. [flashes the psychic paper]
  Young Kazran: It's... just a lot of wavy lines.
  The Doctor: Yeah, it shorted out. Finally a lie too big.
  • It also implies that the psychic paper does not consider either the Pope or the King of Belgium as responsible adults.
  • Also recall, the psychic paper was once demonstrated as being able to fool a card reader into thinking it was a bus pass. That was an easier sell than this.
    • That wasn't the only time it did something like that. At one point, was able to give Rose access to a room in the Torchwood Tower, an organization that's well known to expect the psychic paper. Even if the employees at Torchwood weren't fooled, the paper found Torchwood security easier to fool than passing the Doctor off an a responsible adult.
• Talking to young Kazran about the "Face Spiders":
  Young Kazran: Are there any face spiders in here?
  The Doctor: Nah. Not at this time of night. They'll all be sleeping in your mattress.
  • Again when speaking to young Kazran:
    The Doctor: Come on, we’re boys! And you know what boys say in the face of danger.
    Young Kazran: What's that?
    The Doctor: ... Mummy!
  • And when there's a giant flying shark stuck in the wardrobe door (even funnier, it makes complete sense in context), snapping at them and the Doctor realises it's swallowed the sonic screwdriver, and there's a "good chance" the way it's stuck is holding its jaws open:
    The Doctor: Just agree with me, 'cause I've only got two goes and then it's your turn.
    Kazran: Two goes?
    The Doctor: Two arms! Right then. Okay. Geronimo. Open wide!
• The bit during the "freezer-opening montage" when the door opens and Abigail goes "Kazran!" in such a way that we all know what's coming. Bonus points to Kat Jenkins, a singer with no acting experience before the show, delivering the line in a rather different fashion than she cried "Doctor!"
  • Incidentally, in the Confidential, Michael Gambon claimed to be Distracted by the Sexy when she was on set with him. It's not clear whether he was serious or not.
• Also this, when Kazran is nervous about kissing Abigail and asks for the Doctor's advice:
  The Doctor: Try and be nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky...Because you're going to be anyway, might as well make it part of the plan. It's this or go to your room and design a new kind of screwdriver. Don't make my mistakes.
• The Doctor explaining to Kazran and Abigail that they have to leave the party because he somehow got engaged to Marilyn Monroe.
  The Doctor: Marilyn! Get your coat.
  • Even funnier: He's basically yelling at them, and they're too busy snogging each other's faces off to seemingly even notice he's there.
• Amy appears as the Ghost of Christmas Present. Kazran gets an eyefull of her kissogram outfit. Then she gets into a holographic shoving match with Rory.
  Amy: I am the Ghost of Christmas Present.
  Kazran: A ghost? Dressed like that?
  Rory: [offscreen] Oi! [shoves Amy aside and takes over the hologram] Eyes off the skirt! [Amy shoves him back offscreen]
  Kazran: ...You turned into a Roman?
  Amy: Yeah, I do that.
• This exchange from the end:
  Rory: Uh, got any more honeymoon ideas?
  The Doctor: Well, there's a moon made of actual honey. Well, not actual honey, and it's not actually a moon. And technically it's alive, and a bit carnivorous. But there are some lovely views.
  Rory: Yeah. Great. Thanks.
• Apparently, the Doctor gave Marilyn his phone number, but he insists that it wasn't a real chapel.

"Space" and "Time"

• The Doctor trying to explain some time travel Technobabble to Rory.
  "We're just entering conceptual space. Imagine a banana. Or anything curved. Actually, don't, because it's not curved or like a banana — FORGET THE BANANA!"
• On Amy's driving skills:
  Amy: He's just jealous because I passed my test first time.
  Rory: You cheated, you wore a skirt... Did you ever see Amy drive, Doctor?
  The Doctor: No.
  Rory: Neither did her driving instructor.
• After Rory drops something important:
  Amy: It's my fault...
  The Doctor: Of course it's not your fault.
  Rory: It kind of is.
  The Doctor: How?
  Amy: Because it was my skirt, and my husband, and your glass floor.
  The Doctor: ...Oh, Rory!
  Rory: [still looking] Sorry.
• Amy pretend flirting with herself. And this:
  The Doctor: Oh, this is how it all ends. Pond flirting with herself, true love at last... Sorry, Rory.
  Rory: [staring at both Amys] Absolutely no problem at all.
• After the second Amy walks in:
  The Doctor: When does this Amy walk inside the box? We need to maintain the timeline.
  Amy: As soon as she slaps Rory.
  Amy: Okay.
  Rory: Ha! No. Why do I get slapped?
  The Doctor: Because we have to stick to the established chain of events. One mistake, and the whole timeline could collapse. We'd end up with two Amy Ponds forever, and THEN what would you do?!
  Rory: [Beat; looks at Amy as if to say "Well..."]
  Amy: Oh! [slaps Rory]
  The Doctor: Right! Off you go!
• The Doctor needs to pull the right lever to contain a temporal implosion, but doesn't know which lever to pull. Thankfully, the Doctor from the future knows. How does he describe it? "THE WIBBLY LEVER!"

"The Impossible Astronaut"

• The Doctor waving out of the TV screen just as Rory says, "So you think he's waving at us out of history?" And yes he is wearing a fez during that, probably the one place it couldn't be destroyed.
• The Doctor turns up in America wearing a Stetson ("Stetsons are cool"), only to have River Song shoot it off his head. Apparently, the Doctor and hats are a bad combination around River.
• A blink-and-you'll-miss-it one; when the Doctor shows up in the diner, Rory pokes him in mild shock. A call back to "The Pandorica Opens", perhaps?
• River slaps the younger Doctor when he shapes to hug her. According to Alex Kingston this took many takes and she could see Matt Smith getting gradually more pissed off with every slap.
• The companions are having a serious conversation below the glass floor of the TARDIS, and the Doctor gets annoyed that all of them are down there instead of paying attention to him.
  The Doctor: I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed. What's the point in having you all?
• Just after the Doctor has landed the cloaked TARDIS in the Oval Office and is in the room making notes while Nixon and Canton listen to the recorded phone call. Nixon turns around and notices the Doctor, interrupting the conversation, at which point the Doctor, noticing the lack of conversation, looks up and waves for them to continue... before realizing that he's not supposed to be there.
• The Oh, Crap! moment the Doctor gets when he's spying in the Oval Office and realizes the people can see him. He tries to get back into the invisible TARDIS, but ends up running face first into it. According to River, he does this a lot.
  The Doctor: Fellas, the guns, really? I just walked into the highest security office in the United States, parked a big, blue box on the rug... You think you can just shoot me?
  River: [running out of the TARDIS, screaming] They're Americans!
  The Doctor: [jumps up frightened] Don't shoot! Definitely no shooting!
• The Doctor claiming that he and all of his companions are secret agents, and introducing their codenames as "The Legs", "The Nose", and "Mrs. Robinson".
  River: [shaking her head] Oh, I hate you.
  The Doctor: No you don't...
  • The Doctor, while surrounded by the Secret Service, sitting in Richard Nixon's desk chair, needs a SWAT team, ready to mobilize, a map covering all the streets of Florida, a pot of coffee, 12 Jammie Dodgers... and a fez.
• Canton's reaction to the TARDIS before he gets over the shook.
  Canton: It's bigger on the inside than the outside...
  • After he gets over the shock:
    Canton: Nice wheels.
  • Rory looks smug while explaining to Canton. He's not the new kid anymore, but because he's still the newest, he has to sit back and explain this to everyone.
• The Doctor and River exchange banter a few times... and it's absolutely hilarious.
  The Doctor: Dr. Song, you've got that face on again.
  River: What face?
  The Doctor: The "He's hot when he's clever" face.
  River: This is my normal face.
  The Doctor: Yes, it is.
  River: Oh, shut up.
  The Doctor: Not a chance.
• Rory is still the Butt-Monkey.
  The Doctor: Rory, would you mind going with River.
  Rory: Yeah, a bit.
  The Doctor: Then I appreciate it all the more.

"Day of the Moon"

• Rory complaining about the lack of air holes... in a body bag. Canton hasn't had any complaints yet.
• After disassembling and reassembling Apollo 11, the Doctor realizes that "There's always a bit left over."
  • The Doctor mouthing Sorry to Nixon after breaking into Apollo 11. And, while being interrogated, trying to bite through the cuffs.◊
• Rory breaking off the satellite dish on the model Apollo ship. And then giving the NASA technicians a British salute, and speaking in a heavy English accent.
  Rory: America salutes you!
• The short conversation where Rory and Amy talk about how he wasn't sure whether or not she was talking about him or the Doctor when she was making a declaration of love while she is captured. The main reason is because the look on Amy's face when she realizes what Rory means gives the impression that she finds the very idea repugnant. And especially this exchange.
  Rory: Well, you did say "dropped out of the sky".
  Amy: It's a figure of speech, moron. [proceeds to start kissing Rory]
• There's River and the Doctor going Back-to-Back Badasses with River shooting down the Silence and the fake TARDIS while the Doctor... basically just points his Sonic Screwdriver everywhere (his dialogue implies he's using it to disrupt the Silence gathering energy, but it's still funny).
  The Doctor: Don't let it build to full power!
  River: I know! There's a reason why I'm shooting, honey! What are you doing?!
  The Doctor: Helping!
  River: You've got a screwdriver, go build a cabinet!
  The Doctor: That's really rude!
  River: Shut up and drive!
  • This is also likely a Call-Back to the scene in "The Empty Child"/"The Doctor Dances".
  • The flirting during their Big Damn Heroes moment — Amy basically tells them to shut up and save her already. Even funnier after the reveal in A Good Man Goes to War.
  • The brief blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment between Rory and River. River has just finished blasting all of the Silence in the room to oblivion and is walking back to the TARDIS.
    Rory: What kind of doctor are you again?
    [a Silent jumps up behind River; she shoots it without turning her head]
    River: Archaeology. Love a tomb.
• Nixon finds out that the Doctor is from the future, and only has one question.
  The Doctor: I should warn you, there are a lot of questions I won't touch.
  Nixon: But I'm a president at the beginning of his time; I must know. Will they remember me?
  The Doctor: Oh, Dicky, Tricky Dicky, they're never going to forget you. Say hello to David Frost for me.
  • At the end, when the Doctor is saying goodbye to Canton and Richard Nixon, he hints to the President that perhaps Nixon should let Canton get married because it's a hell of a reason to get kicked out of the FBI. Then, while the Doctor leaves, we get this:
    Nixon: This person you want to marry... black?
    Canton: Yes...
    Nixon: I know what people think of me, but perhaps I'm a little more liberal–
    Canton: ...he is.
    Nixon: ...I think the moon is far enough for now, don't you think, Mr. Delaware?
    Canton: I figured it might be.
• Amy wondering whether her child will be born with a "time head."

"The Curse of the Black Spot"

• Reunions with loved ones:
  Captain Avery: Toby! (his son)
  Amy: Rory!
  The Doctor: (in the exact same tone of voice as Amy) The TARDIS! (He then kisses the TARDIS.)
• We also have the Doctor trying to explain advanced technology to the 17th century pirates, and Rory acting almost high when being exposed to the Siren's song (the bit about admiring the pirates' beards and wanting one himself was especially funny). His flirting with Amy and lustily declaring the Siren the most beautiful thing ever... in front of her. Cue Death Glare.
  • Even better, when Rory regains his senses Amy isn't jealous like she normally would be because of how stupid Rory was acting. Her reaction is less "My husband is cheating on me" and more "That was hilarious and you're never going to hear the end of this."
• The Running Gag of the Doctor liking hats continues, as he temporarily grabs one belonging to one of the pirates.
• The pirates may be compensating for something with their guns.
• The Doctor explains the TARDIS. He and Avery need T-shirts. TARDIS has screaming tantrum.
• Rory and Amy trying to understand pirate language.
  Rory: Rats was all I could hear!
• The Doctor explaining to the pirates that the siren can use water as a portal. Amy's reaction? "Oh, well, thank God we're not in the middle of the ocean."
• "A green singing shark in an evening gown."
• "OK, groovy. So not just pirates today, we've managed to bagsy a ship where there'll be a demon popping in!" It's even better when you consider that that is SO British.
• "YO HO HO! Or do we not say that anymore?"
• The Doctor still being jokey with the pirates even as they're making him walk the plank. "A bit more laughter, guys!"
• Amy getting WAY too into defending the Doctor and Rory by dressing like a pirate, only to be surprised when they freak out over her giving a flesh wound to one of them with a sword. Granted there's a plot-related reason, but Amy's genuinely confused. "It was only a scratch!"
• This conversation:
  The Doctor: (holding up his hand which has accidentally touched a disgusting dead body) Eurgh, look!
  Amy: What is it?
  The Doctor: Sneeze. Alien boogies. (He shakes his hand, a disgusted look on his face, trying to get rid of the aforementioned "sneeze". Some splatters on the floor. As he passes Amy he wipes his hand on her towel to her disgust.)

"The Doctor's Wife"

• The Doctor declaring that he's going to get rid of the warning lights because they never stop.
• The Doctor sees he's got a hypercube floating outside the TARDIS and declares: "I've got mail! Come here, you scrumptious little beauty!"
• Idris/TARDIS running and kissing the Doctor.
  Idris: Biting is just like kissing, but there's a winner.
  
  Idris: It's on the tip of my tongue! Oh, I've had a new idea about kissing!
• Amy and Rory are startled by Nephew, until The Doctor explains what he is. "It's okay! It's an Ood! Love an Ood!" Rory uses his fingers to imitate the Ood's face tentacles and Amy can't help but laugh.
• "Yes, it's spacey-wacey!"
• Part comedy, part terrifying — when Auntie and Uncle are dying after House abandoned them:
  Auntie: It's time for us both to go, and keep together.
  The Doctor: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go? What do you mean, go? Where are you going?
  Auntie: Well, we're dying, my love. It's time for Auntie and Uncle to pop off.
  Uncle: I'm against it. [shrugs]
  Auntie: It's your fault, isn't it, sweets? Because you told House it was the last TARDIS. House can't feed on them if there's none more coming, can he?
  Uncle: So now he's off to your universe to find more TARDISes.
  The Doctor: It won't.
  Auntie: Oh, it'll think of something. [drops dead]
  Uncle: Actually, I feel fine. [drops dead]
• The TARDIS briefly compares the Doctor trying to construct a makeshift TARDIS to "a nine-year-old trying to build a motorbike in his bedroom.
• The TARDIS arguing with the Doctor about the door instructions.
  Idris: There's a sign on my front door — you have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?
  The Doctor: That's not instructions!
  Idris: There's an instruction at the bottom, what does it say?
  The Doctor: Pull to Open!
  Idris: Yes, and what do you do?
  The Doctor: I PUSH!
  Idris: Every single time! Seven hundred years— police box doors open out the way.
  • Even funnier because those instructions don't actually refer to the doors, rather to the door panel with the phone! Clearly, she hasn't been around lots of actual police boxes.
• The Doctor proclaims that nothing can go wrong with his jury-rigged TARDIS control room... and immediately a piece leaps off. Followed by:
  The Doctor: ...that always happens.
• The TARDIS looking at her human form in the mirror.
• The TARDIS calling Rory "the pretty one", and Rory's reaction to their psychic mind-link. And the Doctor's reaction when he finds out.
  The Doctor: No, that's Rory. [Beat] The pretty one?!
  • Also the way the Doctor keeps trying to butt in on the conversation, only to be shoved off to the side by Idris.
• Amy's reaction to meeting Idris:
  Amy: Did you wish really hard?
  The Doctor: Oh, shut up.
  Idris: Oh, hello. I'm "Sexy".
  [Amy and Rory give the Doctor looks]
  The Doctor: ... Still shut up!
• Just the very idea that the original William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton and Jon Pertwee Doctors called the TARDIS, "Sexy".

"The Rebel Flesh"

• This line:
  The Doctor: I have to get to that cockerel before all hell breaks loose. I never thought I'd get to say that again!
• "For want of a better word, owwww!"
• "Yes it's insane and it's going to get insane-erer. Is that a word?"
• "Rory! Rory! Always with the Rory!"
• The Doctor's hilariously bad and over-the-top Northern accent. Which is also funny from a meta perspective, since Smith is the only actor playing a Doctor of the revival series not to have a Northern accent.

"The Almost People"

• "Roranicus Pondicus!"
• Ganger!Doctor's Continuity Nod-riddled coming to grips with his 900 years of memories. "I reversed the jelly baby of the neutron flow!"
  • Ganger!Doctor slipping into Four's voice for a split second to deliver the line "Would you like a jelly baby?" is wonderfully unexpected and simultaneously hilarious simply because of just how different Smith's voice is to Baker's, but it's topped — only barely, but still — by this bit:
    Ganger!Doctor: [with Ten's voice] Hello, I'm the Doctor!
    Ganger!Doctor: No! Let it go, we... we've moved on!
• The Doctor's complete glee over talking to himself. Followed by both of them doing an identical weird step-hop thing in unison.
• Ganger!Doctor and Time Lord!Doctor both insist that bowties are cool and always will be.
• Apparently, the Doctor once plugged his brain into the core of a planet to halt its orbit and win a bet.

"A Good Man Goes to War"

• Rory accosting the Cybermen: "Don't give me those blank looks!"
• Everything about Strax the Sontaran Nurse.
  • As he's caring for a young patient:
    Boy: Will I be okay?
    Strax: Of course you will! You'll be up and about in no time! And maybe some day, you and I will meet on the field of battle, and I will destroy you for the glory of the Sontaran Empire! [beat] Try and get some rest.
    Boy: Thanks, nurse.
  • Saying goodbye to a comrade:
    Strax: Captain Harcourt, it has been an honor to fight alongside you. I hope someday to meet you in the glorious field of battle, where I will crush the life from your worthless human limbs.
  • Also this one:
    Strax: [hefting one breastplate] I can produce magnificent amounts of lactic fluid!
  • Bonus points for the look on Rory's face after he says that.
  • When he's holding Colonel Manton at gun point:
    Strax: Don't slump, it's bad for your spine.
• The Doctor shows up, by interrupting a monologue about the Headless Monks, and then says to "point a gun at me if it helps you relax". Everyone does.
• Madame Vastra and the Doctor discussing when Rory and Amy's daughter... began.
  Vastra: I am trying to be delicate. I know how you can blush. When did this baby... begin?
  The Doctor: Oh, you mean...
  Vastra: Quite.
  The Doctor: Well, how would I know? That's all human-y private stuff, it just sort of... goes on. They don't put up a balloon or anything!
  Vastra: But could the child have begun on the TARDIS, in flight, in the Vortex?
  The Doctor: No, no, impossible! It's all running about, sexy fish vampires and blowing up stuff. And Rory wasn't even there at the beginning. Then he was dead, then he didn't exist, then he was plastic. Then I had to reboot the whole universe... long story. So, technically, the first time they were on the TARDIS together, in this version of reality, was on their w-w-w-wwww...
  Vastra: On their what?
  The Doctor: [almost choking] On their wedding night.
  • It gets even better with this Twitter exchange a few days after the episode between a viewer, Steven Moffat, and Neil Gaiman (neilhimself):
    whitniverse: @steven_moffat @neilhimself #Doctor Who SPOILERS! Does this mean that River was conceived on a bunk bed?
    steven_moffat: @whitniverse @neilhimself Or a ladder.
    neilhimself: [at about the same time] @whitniverse @steven_moffat or on the ladder…
    neilhimself: @steven_moffat @whitniverse That was spooky.
    steven_moffat: @neilhimself @whitniverse I think we accidentally made that canonical.
• The Doctor talking with Melody Pond:
  The Doctor: [sniffs Melody] Well, yes, I suppose she does smell nice. Never really sniffed her, maybe I should give it a go. Amelia Pond, c'mere. [he hugs and sniffs Amy]
  Melody: [baby noises]
  The Doctor: It's ok, she's still all yours. And you really should call her Mummy, not big milk thing.
  Amy: Ok, what are you doing?
  The Doctor: I speak baby.
  Amy: No, you don't!
  The Doctor: I speak everything... Don't I, Melody Pond?
  Melody: [coos]
  The Doctor: [fixes his bowtie] No, it's not... it's cool!
  • Hilarious in Hindsight considering The Reveal about Melody and her reactions to what he thinks is cool.
• When the Doctor figures out that River is Melody Pond, he squeals gleefully... until he realizes the implications. Namely, that he kissed River before he knew who she was.^note There are implications throughout the series that they've actually had sex (or will have in his case; timelines and all that!) He gives Amy and, in particular, Rory a very scared look, runs to the TARDIS, and gets the hell out of there.
• River casually tells the Stormcage security that she's actually breaking back in and to turn off the alarms because she's back in her cell. They oblige and then she asks for her usual breakfast time.
• The fact that River is a Time Lord can be said seriously outside of WMG, even if it is only partially true.
• How far can you take Homoerotic Subtext? Just ask Madame Vastra and Jenny:
  Vastra: I honestly don't know why you put up with me. [knocks out guard with prehensile tongue; smirk]
• River telling Rory that the Doctor's birthday gift included ice-skating in 1814 and a performance by Stevie Wonder:
  Rory: Stevie Wonder performed in 1814?
  River: Yes. But you must never tell him.
  • Twelve reveals in a deleted scene from Thin Ice that he had to get a whole piano under the bridge!
  • The Doctor walks in on Amy and Rory's reunion.
    The Doctor: Eugh... kissing and crying. I'll be back in a bit.
• When the Doctor says the cradle is his, not Amy's child, Rory can be seen in the background breathing a sigh of relief.
• How arrogantly ostentatious and puffed up are the Time Lords? Apparently Gallifreyan doesn't translate! Guess that's one way to hide a secret from the rest of the universe! Write it in an untranslatable language!
  • Alternatively, it could just be that the Time Lords assumed that no one who isn't a Gallifreyan would be using a TARDIS, and so translating Gallifreyan would be redundant.

"Let's Kill Hitler"

• Thanks to Mels shooting the Time Rotor the TARDIS ends up crashing in Adolf Hitler's office and accidentally saving him from the Tesselecta. Rory ends up punching Hitler in the face to disarm him. The Doctor then comes up with a hilariously simple way of dealing with one of the most notorious figures of the 20th Century.
  The Doctor: Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard over there. Now do it.
  Rory: Right. Putting Hitler in the cupboard.
  • The way that once Hitler is in the cupboard, he is completely forgotten about by all three and never appears again in the episode. Made even funnier by this line from the next episode: What do we do with things we don't like? We put them in the cupboard.
    • Almost completely forgotten about (see further below).
  • The fact that Hitler is so confused by everything that's occurred that he only offers the mildest protests when Rory shoves him in the cupboard.
    Hitler: But I am the Fuhrer...
    Rory: Right, you we go!
    Hitler: Who are you?!
• Hilarious in Hindsight: when Mels "borrows" a car to come meet Amy, Rory, and the Doctor, Rory is exasperated and tells her "you're going to end up in prison!" She does, though it never sticks for long.
• Rory delivering what has to be the rarest line in the history of the entire show:
  Rory: Shut up, Hitler!
• River and the Nazis:
  River: Well, I was on my way to this gay gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought, "Gosh, the Third Reich’s a bit rubbish, I think I’ll kill the Führer." Who's with me?
• Amy, Rory, and the Doctor's reaction after Mels regenerates into River, followed by the Doctor and River's Death Note-level I Know You Know I Know exchange.
  • Blink and you'll miss it, but the Doctor actually covers up his eyes after Melody propped her foot up on that armchair.
  • Another blink and you'll miss it, when Melody leaves the room for the first time after regenerating, you can see the Doctor covering a certain part of his body up.
• Amy and Rory get quite a few between them throughout. They write the word "Doctor" into a field with their car because "he never answers his phone". The Doctor turns up in the middle of the "O" with tomorrow's newspaper, which contains a front page story about the crop circle, and simply asks...
  The Doctor: Seriously?
  • The three of them scream in comical terror when they realise Mels is driving straight at them. Plus the fact that Amy and Rory get out of the way, but she does hit the Doctor.
• The flashbacks to Amy, Rory and Mels as children are full of Funny Moments.
  Amelia: Why are you always in trouble? You're the most in trouble in the whole school, except for boys.
  Young Mels: And you.
  Amelia: I count as a boy!
  • Mels' insistance that several historical events happened because "the Doctor didn't stop it". Which, technically, is true.
  • The scene in Amy's bedroom is one big one. Mels is lying on the bed playing with a toy police telephone box.
    Mels: It was late, I took a bus.
    Rory: No, you stole a bus.
    Amy: Who steals a bus?
    Mels: I returned it.
    Rory: You drove it through the Botanical Garden.
    Mels: Short cut. [giggles]
    Amy: Why can't you just act like a person? Like a normal legal person?
    Mels: I don't know. Maybe I need a Doctor!
    Amy: Stop it.
    Rory: I better go. I'm on earlies tomorrow.
    Mels: It's alright for you. You've got Mr. Perfect keeping you right.
    Amy: He's not even real. Just a stupid dream when I was a kid.
    Mels: I wasn't talking about him.
    Amy: What, Rory? [Rory freezes in the doorway] How have I got Rory?
    Rory: Yeah, how... how's she got me?
    Amy: He's not mine.
    Rory: No. No, I'm not hers.
    Mels: Oh, come on. It's got to be you two! Oh, cut to the song, it's getting boring.
    Amy: Nice thought, ok? But completely impossible.
    Rory: Yeah, impossible!
    Amy: I mean, I'd love to, he's gorgeous, he's my favourite guy, but he's, you know?
    Rory: A friend.
    Amy: [overlapping] Gay!
    [they look at each other in shock]
    Rory: I'm not gay.
    Amy: Yes, you are.
    Rory: No. No, I'm not.
    Amy: Course you are, don't be stupid! In the whole time I've known you, when have you ever shown interest in a girl?
    Mels: Penny in the air...
    Amy: I've known you for, what, 10 years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid even the slightest bit of attention to?
    [Rory quickly leaves the room without saying a word. Mels starts laughing as the speechless Amy slowly starts to realise Rory's feelings for her.]
    Amy: Oh, my God! Rory! [she chases after him]
    Mels: ...and the penny drops!
    • This becomes a great bit of Fridge Brilliance humour if you combine this with young Amy's above statement. In a way, she's right.
• This hilarious bit from the Doctor after Mels causes it to go out of control:
  The Doctor: YOU SHOT MY TARDIS!
• Immediately after Mels regenerates and has momentarily disappeared to check out her new body:
  Rory: Does anybody else find this day just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head.
  Amy: Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard.
  Rory: That's not helping.
• The Doctor is questioning Robo-Amy about the Silence when he hits a dead end.
  The Doctor: Yes, but what is the Question?
  [dramatic pause]
  Robo-Amy: Unknown.
  The Doctor: Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge.
• Rory steals a bike from a Nazi:
  Rory: Heil!
  Nazi: Heil!
  [Rory knocks him out with a punch to the face and steals the bike]
  Amy: Can you ride a motorbike?
  Rory: I expect so. It's that sort of day.
  • That the soldier winds up being the disguised Teselecta makes it even funnier. Rory punched a robot in the face and didn't even notice-that's how badass he is.
• Amy and Rory find themselves inside a giant robot replica of Amy:
  Rory: OK, OK, I'm trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife. [whispering to himself] I'm really trying not to see this as a metaphor.
  Amy: How can we be in here? How do we fit?
  Rory: Miniaturisation Ray.
  Amy: How would you know that?
  Rory: Well, there was a ray, and then we were miniaturized...
  Amy: All right.
• The crew of the Teselecta (a humanoid robot) trying to make sure their "Janitor" disguise has come out right.
  Harriet: I don't trust sensors, I want to take a look myself.
  Jim: We're in a hurry. We're not trying to win an award.
  Harriet: That's what you said when we made Rasputin green!
• Melody Pond's regeneration from "I'm focusing on a dress size" to "I'm gonna wear lots of jodphurs."
• When River walks into a party of Nazis.
  River: [fires off two machine guns] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I don't have a thing to wear. [points guns at everyone] Take off your clothes!
  • And shortly after that, when Amy and Rory are trying to find River:
    Rory: Okay, all of Berlin, how do we find her?
    Amy: I don't know. Look for clues.
    Rory: Clues? [imitating Amy's accent] What kind of clues?!
    Amy: Shut up...
    [the doors of a nearby building fly open, and a crowd of people in their underwear run out]
    Rory: ...Okay.
• Absolutely anything said by the antibodies.
  Antibody: Please remain calm while your life is terminated.
  Antibody: It is normal to experience fear during your incineration.
  Antibody: You will feel a slight tingling sensation and then death.
• How unreliable is the TARDIS? The Doctor enters the smoking TARDIS (after the console has been shot) and orders "Extractor Fans on!". They work, and the Doctor's reaction is "Oh, that worked!"
• In a kind of Tearjerker way, the fact that the Doctor refuses to use a voice interface masquerading as himself, because he wants someone he likes.

"Night Terrors"

• Rory proclaiming "We're dead. Again."
• Alex's response to a long, grand speech from the Doctor.
  Alex: You're not from social services, are you?
  • And the Doctor getting sidetracked regarding the term for a phobia of everything:
    The Doctor: Pantophobia. That's what it's called, pantophobia. Not fear of pants, though, if that's what you're thinking. It's the fear of everything, ...including pants, I suppose. Anyway, go on.
  • He also gets sidetracked talking about how they've knocked down the blocks he went around and built new ones, and how hard it is to remember everything he's seen. Alex is freaking out during the second one, but you can still hear him going on in the background.
• Also Alex's reactions when the Doctor is debating whether or not to open the cupboard.
• The Doctor telling George about his "Bedtime Stories" and fiddling with a Rubik's Cube.
• Amy, Rory and the Doctor trying to find George's flat by knocking on other people's doors.
• The asshole landlord Mr. Purcell, having gone through hell in the dollhouse, finds himself back home and the first thing he does is hug his menacing dog.

"The Girl Who Waited"

• The Doctor declares Apalapucia "the number two planet in the top ten destinations for the discerning intergalactic traveller". When Rory asks why they couldn't go to number one, the Doctor snaps back that it's hideous.
• "Glasses are cool."
• Amy lost her phone.
  Amy: Has anyone seen my phone?
  The Doctor: [sighs] I bring you to a planet two billion light years away and you want to update... Twitter?
• The Doctor takes the magnifying glass used to see into Amy's timestream.
  Rory: Er, what are you doing?
  The Doctor: Locking it on to Amy. Small act of vandalism. No one'll mind.
  [an alarm sounds]
  The Doctor: Ah, that'll be the small act of vandalism alarm.
• The two Amys fighting — you know, before the Mood Whiplash.
• Future Amy flirting with Rory, much to his discomfort.
  Amy: I've known you my whole life. How many games of "Doctors and Nurses"...
• The Doctor describing Apalapucia as the "second-most popular" destination for intergalactic travellers. Why didn't he take them to the most popular planet? "It's boring. Planet of the coffee shops."
• "If anyone can defeat pre-destiny, it's your wife."
• The Amys are told to think the same thought, the most important thought they've ever had. Considering the recent conversation, one would expect it to be something along the lines of "I love Rory". Instead they start... doing the macarena? (Okay, it's because that was connected to Amy and Rory's first kiss, but the audience doesn't know that until a few moments later.)

"The God Complex"

• When Amy and Rory are looking over the photos, one past victim called Royston Luke Gold had a fear of Plymouth.
• The National Anthem of Tivoli, Gibbis' planet, is "Glory to Insert Name Here".
  • Have the Daleks invaded this planet? If not, they should. It'd be the easiest invasion and conquest they'll ever have.
• Rory's Memetic Badass status has been acknowledged in-universe. In the Hell Hotel, everyone sees rooms with their worst fears. What does Rory see? Fire Exits. The Minotaur just wants him to leave.
• When the Minotaur breaks the door open, Rory, who has been leaning against it from the other side, is swung around behind the door out-of-sight.
• When Amy and Rita duck inside a room meant for someone else, a sad clown with a balloon is sitting on the bed.
  Rita: How's it going?
  Amy: Don't talk to the clown!
• Rory's Black Comedy when Rita and the Doctor become friends:
  Rory: Every time the Doctor gets pal-y with someone I have this overwhelming urge to notify their next-of-kin.
• Rory squeeing over a Cool Car, then taking the Doctor aside to mention all the reasons he can't accept it, and then how he's going to ignore all of those reasons.

"Closing Time"

• "Doctor, what are you doing here?" Craig sounds like he's greeting some annoying relative, and given how odd Eleven can be, it's not far from the truth.
• The Doctor distracting Craig from the fact that they're on a Cyberman spaceship by pretending to be in love/coming on to him.
• Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.
• "Not Mum, that's you. Also Not Mum, that's me and everyone else is... peasants. Well, that's unfortunate."
• The fact that the Doctor and Craig are Mistaken for Gay. So much Ho Yay! Of course, this is preceded by the Doctor saying "You're my baby" to Craig rather loudly before giving him a great big hug.
• "I liked his hat."
• Bitey.
• "Don't worry, I have an app for that."
• The return of "You redecorated! I don't like it."
  Craig: It's a new house!
• A blink and you'll miss it one: Sophie returns from her little vacation, amazed at the clean house and asking if anything's happened. Craig denies it, until Stormageddon chimes in with his first word: "Doctor."
  • Particularly funny since most babies shouldn't be able to perfectly pronounce the word "doctor" on their first go!
• "Hello, Craig! I'm back." Said with a huge cheesy grin on his face and his arms straight down at his sides.
• The Doctor quieting the baby by just going "Shh." Later using it on another adult.
  • The Doctor stating that the "Shhh" trick only works once and on underdeveloped brains... moments before he uses it on Craig.
• The Doctor's Chronic Hero Syndrome, once again, coming to the fore:
  "Just go. Stop noticing. Just go. Stop noticing, just go. Stop noticing, just go. Stop it. Am I noticing? No. No, I am not. And what I am not doing is scanning for electrical fluctuations. Oh, shut up, you. I'm just dropping in on a friend. The last thing I need right now is a patina of teleport energy. I'm going. Do you hear me? Going. Not staying, going. I am through saving them. I am going away now (rests his head against the TARDIS doors).
  • One Gilligan Cut later, and the Doctor is demonstrating a toy helicopter to some kids. Which in itself is a funny moment, since he says the price is a bit steep, but their parents will only spend it on boring stuff like lamps and vegetables.
• Yappy the robot dog is not as much fun as the Doctor remembers.

"The Wedding of River Song"

• There's something hilarious about Charles Dickens appearing on BBC Breakfast to promote his new novel.
• The Doctor meets up with River again while in the company of Madame Kovarian. When they start flirting again, Kovarian comes out with...
  Kovarian: Oh, they're flirting again! Do I have to watch this?
  • It's the delivery that makes it!
• Also, when the Doctor wakes up in Amy Pond's office on a train, he rattles on about how they used to be best friends in another version of reality, and how she grew up with a time rift in her wall that affected her memories, so she should be able to remember him... only to realise he's picked up a toy TARDIS, and the walls are covered in drawings of him and the creatures they've faced.
  • Amy's hilariously bad drawing of Rory.
    Amy: Yes, Rory. My husband. I haven't found him yet, but I love him very much, don't I?
    The Doctor: [examining her sketch of Rory, so handsome that he is unrecognizable] Yes, apparently.
• The sickened look on Amy's face when she realizes she's the Doctor's mother-in-law.
  River: Father dear, I think mummy might need another drink.
  • What really sells it is Karen Gillen's delivery:
    River: Of course I know him! I'm his wife!
    Amy: Yes, and I'm his—mother-in-law.
• The Doctor is explaining how time broke to Winston Churchill, ending with...
  The Doctor: Like a record stuck on a needle.
  Winston Churchill: A record? Dear God, man, haven't you ever heard of downloads?
  The Doctor: Said Winston Churchill!
• Anything with Dorium Maldovar.
  Dorium: I'm a head! I have rights!
• Amy's Cliff Notes explanation to Rory of their relationship in the real world.
  Amy: You and I got married and had a daughter and that's her.
  Rory: ...okay.
  • Similarly, their proposal: "Let's get drinks sometime." "Okay." "And married." "Fine."
• Early on, there's the sign in the park: "Pterodactyls are vermin: do not feed them."
• Rory and Amy's disgusted looks◊ when the Doctor and River have their big kiss.
• In a Freeze-Frame Bonus, we get to see the kind of magazine the Doctor is reading in the middle of a Bad Guy Bar. It's about knitting.
• The way the Doctor asks Dorium about his place of death with a mildly disgusted look on his face. "Why Utah?" It sounds as if he was hoping for some really dramatic place to die, and is disappointed/upset that it's just a lake in the middle of the desert.

"Death Is the Only Answer"

• The Doctor is in a prank war with Albert Einstein. And then there's this line:
  The Doctor: Nice hair! You should keep it; looks more science-y.
  [...]
  Albert: But you said you were going to give my toothbrush back!
  The Doctor: Uh, yes, about that, the Daleks kind of exterminated it last week — or was it last century?

"Night and the Doctor"

• Special mention goes to the Doctor's response to Amy's "serious face".
  The Doctor: Roooory!! She's having an emotion!!!!
• The end of "Bad Night" has the Doctor discover that the goldfish he'd been holding onto for the entire episode was in face not the Queen of England.
  The Doctor: It's the wrong fish. I've taken the wrong fish. River, we've got the wrong fish!
• The Doctor sending Amy to visit her younger self:
  Amy: Okay, okay, so I ask a big, important question about life and you're basically telling me to go and buy myself an ice cream.
  The Doctor: No Amy, I'm telling you to go and buy us both ice creams.

"The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe"

• During the prequel, the Doctor calls Amy and tells her that he'll send her the coordinates so she can pick him up in the TARDIS. There are only three flaws with this plan: He doesn't have the coordinates, she can't fly the TARDIS, and she isn't even on the TARDIS, as she's already left.
• Madge give a insane-sounding babble to Cyril about going to help a spaceman find his magic police-box. When his father asks Cyril where Madge has gone, Cyril wisely condenses it all down to "Out."
• After a most epic moment in which the Doctor puts on a spacesuit while falling into the atmosphere, he crashes into the Earth, he sounds rather injured... and then it's discovered that it's because he thinks he's gone blind due to putting the suit on backwards.
  • Even better, when Madge asks him how in the world was he able to put the thing on backwards, he says what might be one of his biggest understatements in a few series: "I got dressed in a hurry."
• Due the Doctor being separated from the TARDIS in the 1930s, he has some trouble because there are real police boxes around. Also, at first it seems that Madge was able to break into the most advanced spaceship with a hairpin.
• Everything about the house. The back door is (broadly speaking) operational, the stairs have "broken down", there's a lemonade tap in the kitchen, the chairs swivel around, the Christmas tree is mechanized, and the kid's bedroom, with practically everything the Doctor could squeeze in, including the Magna Carta (and knowing him, it's quite possibly the original).
  • There is one thing the Doctor couldn't squeeze in:
    Cyril: Where are the beds?
    The Doctor: Well, I couldn't fit everything in, there had to be sacrifices. Anyway, who needs beds when you've got HAMMOCKS?!
    [he pulls a lever and two hammocks come down. Cyril, Lily and Madge are confused]
    The Doctor: I know!
    Cyril: But how do you get on?
    The Doctor: Watch and learn, kid.
    [Epic Fail follows]
    Madge: For God's sake!
    The Doctor: This hammock has developed a fault.
• When it becomes increasingly obvious the Androzani trees are Plant Aliens:
  Cyril: Caretaker ... are the trees ... alive?
  The Doctor: [beat] ..Of course they're alive! They're trees!
• Later on:
  Lily: I don't understand. Is this place real? Or is it fairyland?
  The Doctor: Fairyland? Oh grow up, Lily! Fairyland looks completely different.
• Madge (apparently unarmed) gets into a standoff with three armed soldiers. One of the male soldiers starts crying uncontrollably (because he has "unresolved mother issues"). Combine with the female soldier being overly concerned with "the visual" of the situation, sensors that cannot distinguish between wool and sidearms, and the leader being entirely unable to control his own troops, and you have the least threatening collection of Gas Mask Mooks in history.
• While Madge pilots the mecha to save her kids.
  Madge: Caretaker?
  The Doctor: Yeah?
  Madge: You're fired!!
• When the tree ship is taking off we get probably the most succinct summary of the Doctor's more chaotic escapades we'll ever hear:
  Lily: What's happening?
  The Doctor: No idea, do what I do — hold tight and pretend it's a plan.
• Amy getting so fed up with carolers that she comes to the door armed with a squirt gun.
  • Amy realizing that it's actually the Doctor. And squirting him with the squirt gun. Repeatedly.

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