Novels
As much of a Crapsack World the Empire under Lionstone is, the author (and thus, his characters) at least have a sense of humor about it.
Deathstalker
- Owen and his AI, Ozymandias, are talking about Owen's outlawing and how to deal with it as Owen makes his getaway. Suddenly, the really important question hits Owen:Owen: Hold everything, Oz; what have they done to my credit rating?
Oz: Owen, what they have done to your credit rating I wouldn't do to a dead dog.
Deathstalker Rebellion
- The Prologue catches us up to the start of the book, explaining not only the general galactic situation but the events of the first book, leading up to the opening action scene.
- Prologue: Owen Deathstalker, that reluctant hero, headed for Golgotha in the company of Hazel d'Ark, on a strange golden ship run by augmented men once known as the Enemies of Humanity; and though posterity has no access to his thoughts, they were probably "Why me?"
Chapter One: Golgotha, Opening Gambit
Narration: Why me? thought Owen Deathstalker as he headed to the toilet yet again.
- Finlay Campbell's epic rant to the esper Underground leaders, when they ask him to go out on another mission literally immediately after returning from another.
- Finlay: You want what? I've only just got back, damn it! I've been cut at, shot at, chased halfway to hell and back while dodging in and out of the pastel towers on a glorified gravity sled, and only just got away in one piece, and you want me to go out again? Does the phrase Stick it where the sun don't shine sound at all familiar? Have you all gone crazy, or are you just harboring a death wish? On the grounds that if you don't change your minds about this new mission in one hell of a hurry, I am going to find what's behind these over-rehearsed mirages of yours and slice and dice all three of you into pie filling! I am tired, hurt, and completely lacking in the sense of humor department. And no I don't have any sense of loyalty or honor. I'm an aristocrat, remember? I'm not going anywhere till I've had a good long soak in a hot tub, three or four good meals on the same plate, and an extremely long and uninterrupted nap. I am like a disrupter. I need to recharge my batteries between jobs. Right now my batteries are sitting in a corner crying their eyes out, and my get-up-and-go has got up and gone without leaving a forwarding address. In other words, no, I'm not bloody going!
Deathstalker Honor
- Jack reflects on what Ruby has been doing since the end of the Rebellion, noting that she's never really happy unless she's in a fight. She tried fighting in the Arena, but no one else would challenge her, and several aliens mysteriously got sick rather than face her, including several species not previously identified as intelligent.
- Owen, Hazel, and Co. arriving at the leper colony they're set to defend:
- Leper 1: That's Hazel d'Ark? Oh, bloody hell. Isn't it bad enough being a leper without having her here too?
Owen: Your reputation is spreading.
Hazel: Good. Now tell them to get a move on, or I'll kick their gate in and make them eat the hinges.
Leper 2: I heard that. Please leave our gate alone. It's the only one we've got. Give us a minute to draw back the bolts, and we'll let you in. The Mother Superior will be here soon, and there'll be hot food and dry clothes for all of you.
Leper 1: And a leash for Hazel d'Ark.
Hazel: I heard that!
(Beat)
Leper 1: Do you know who I am?
Hazel: No.
Leper 1: I think I'll keep it that way.
Deathstalker Destiny
- Diana Vertue (formerly known as Jenny Psycho) reaches out to the only two non-espers she can trust and has linked minds with before.
- Diana: Finlay! Can you hear me?
Finlay: Bloody hell! I've started hearing voices. Didn't think I was that far gone. You're not going to tell me you're the Devil, are you, and I have to go running through the streets with my underpants on my head?
Diana: This is Diana.
Finlay: Bloody silly name for the Devil.
Diana: Shut up and listen! This is Diana Vertue, once known as Jenny Psycho.
Finlay: I think I'd have been better off with the devil.
Evangeline: Shut up, dear, and let her talk.
Deathstalker Legacy
- Lewis isn't prepared for how seriously Emma Steel takes her Paragon duties. She goes charging off less than a minute after he first meets her at the starport, he runs after her, thinking something horrible is happening, only to find she's busting up a luggage theft ring.
- Lewis: And that's it? All this for a couple of con men? Jesus, I nearly had a coronary. I haven't run that fast since that bomb disposal guy said oh shit and threw himself out the window.
- Lewis threatening someone to "bounce your head off that wall until your eyes change color."
Deathstalker Coda
- Finn gets one item of bad news after another, and decides he really needs some good news.
- Finn: Joseph, tell me something I want to hear, or I'll have your testicles stitched together.
Film
- During the brawl at Munkar's castle, an orc throws a man with a dagger for a hand into the rafters, where he sticks fast.
- During the same brawl, the Pig Man casually rips off the arm of man running by to club somebody else with it.
