Funny / Danse Macabre

Danse Macabre

• Hadria in general is either hilarious, creepy or hilariously creepy. Case in point: she accidentally creates pig Dementors. Yes, you read that right.
• Hadria's first words to Gellert: "Hello Mister, are you, by any chance, my kidnapper?" Gellert is suitably bewildered.
• Hadria casting a Patronus charm, not to drive off a Lethifold, but to provide light. She says it's because Scáth didn't tell her the Lumos charm.
• Gellert finding Hadria playing shogi with Scáth while both of them are sitting on Noh.
  If [Noh] wasn't a Lethifold, he might have been concerned over the mistreatment of the poor magical creature.
• Gellert's increasing exasperation with the ever-growing number of Hadria's pets. He's especially annoyed when she adopts a Boggart that scares him by turning into a billywig.
  Gellert: Hadria, can you please stop catching Dark creatures and keeping them as pets?
• Hadria grumbling about the Higher Entities' interference in her life, or as she puts it, "having powerful beings poking into her life like exasperating relations".
• Draco suspects Hadria has something to do with the "giant centipedes" prank.
  Hadria: It's not my fault! I had nothing to do with it, I swear!
  She did not discreetly glance at the Weasley twins at this. [...] Except she did, glance at the Weasley twins, that is, and it was far from discreet.
• Hadria's revenge on the twins results in everyone in school, Snape included, "looking like they'd just participated in some sort of cross-dressing Japanese cosplay café".
• The description of Draco staring at Pansy "like a boggart faced with too many people".

Side stories:

Psithurism

• Gellert comes back from his trip to find Hadria has adopted a Basilisk. She wants to keep it; he doesn't.
  Hadria: But he likes you. And he doesn't like humans. Except me. And now you. And I mean, the normal "like" and not, well, the food or taste preference kind of "like".
  Gellert: Is that supposed to endear me to it? Well, it's not working.

Natsukashii 懐かしい

• Gellert goes in search of Mount Hōrai, leaving Hadria and her pets at the guesthouse.
  Hadria could only hope he'd return while the guesthouse still existed. The roof of the kitchen was already gone. The kitchen itself was slightly burnt but intact, as she had managed to repair everything with a few overpowered Mending charms, but one could not repair something that wasn't there, so the roof remained... gone.
  • Also, the reason the kitchen roof is gone.
  It wasn't her fault. [...] Hadria swore the recipe in the book had instructions for an exotic New Year's dish. [...] How was she supposed to know that Noh would retrieve the wrong ingredients for her? (He'd never failed before, but she supposed there were only so many languages a carnivorous shadow-creature could learn before mixing them up in the worst way possible.) At least now she knew a creative but expensive way to make fireworks. [...] The kitchen was thus burnt, the roof reduced to dust, and there was a sooty black patch where the stove should be...

Schicksalsschlag

• Gellert asks Hadria why she finds Potions so hard when she could cook at five years old.
  ...[Hadria] went on to complain about how, with a dish, one could taste the dish to decide if it had enough of this or that. With a potion, one could only tell by its appearance if one was on the right track. Experimenting or improvisation was also rather dangerous when it came to potions, whereas the chances of a dish exploding was infinitely small unless one were simply that horrid a cook that one shouldn't even be allowed near a stove.
• Hadria sneaks away from Gellert, and (literally) bumps into Severus. Severus asks her why she isn't with her guardian.
  Hadria: I've lost him, sir, and now I'm trying to find him. If you've heard or seen a blond man saying bad words in German and Hungarian, it's probably him.
• Hadria pretending to fangirl over Severus. Later the narration remarks that Severus would have fled as quickly as possible, but was afraid there might be an explosion if she was left alone.

Ingluvies

• The description of various people's Boggarts.
  ...Pansy's boggart was Draco declaring his abhorrence of her in front of everyone (which got turned into Pansy kicking Draco in the -), Blaise's boggart was a clown of all things (that one got turned into a murdered clown, which was even creepier, but Blaise laughed, which was so creepy it seemed to freak the Professor out), and Draco's boggart was an overgrown ferret that looked suspiciously like Snag (who ended up being turned into a fur scarf).
• Fred and George prank Filch with Hadria's help.
  [Filch] spent the next month or so belting out Christmas songs whenever he opened his mouth to yell the ears off whoever displeased him.
• Noh accidentally eats Crookshanks. Hadria panics.
  Hermione was going to murder her. And then Gellert would murder Hermione. And then there would be another epic duel between Dumbledore and Grindelwald and possibly the start of the next Wizarding War... All just because her pet Lethifold ate the wrong cat.

Scintilarre

• The disappointed Slytherins are described as looking like "black and green slugs lying limply over the armchairs and tables".

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