Funny / Crash Twinsanity

"It's true! Blondes do have more fun!"

• The scene when Doctor Cortex's whole body (including his head) is stuck in a pipe. Normally, fart jokes are considered the lowest form of humor, but the comedic timing and his squeal make for Grade-A humor.
  "I'm stuck! The greatest evil scientist in the world! ...stuck in a pipe. How can things get any worse?"
  * farts*
  *anguished squeal*
• The skunk enemy on the first level that is sick of going back and forth for, as he puts it, "ten stinkin' years", and stands up sulking with his arms folded.
  • Even better, he's standing in front of a small field of Nitro crates that you have to knock him into to proceed. The irony.
• Once Crash and Cortex first reach the latter's lab, they find that Coco somehow beat them to the punch, and is not exactly pleased with Cortex bringing her brother with him.
  Cortex: My crystals...!
• Spyro the Dragon randomly appearing and torching the villains because they apparently took some of his gems, according to Cortex. How'd he even get there?
  • Even funnier since it implies that Crash Bandicoot Purple: Ripto's Rampage and Spyro Orange: The Cortex Conspiracy are canon.
• Cortex dressed as Coco.
  It's true! Blondes do have more fun!
  (Coco voice) I'm okay! (Normal) The spikes broke my fall. (Despite that, he still manages to beat you to the end...)
• The introduction to the Dingodile boss fight:
  Dingodile: Cozy, ain't it? Rumour is you two chumps have got your mitts in some treasure, and I want a piece of that pie.
  Cortex: ...I have no idea what you just said.
• The Moulin Cortex.
  Cortex, sliding through the building: Coming through! Ladies... Excuse me madam! Are those real? ...Mother?!
• Also, during the snowboarding section, Cortex's groin vs the grind rails, guess which one wins?
• Before the N. Brio boss fight:
  N. Tropy: The rats are fleeing the sinking ship. Tell us where the treasure is, and we'll... let you go. (Crash is a mute as always) Silence? Looks like we'll have to wring it out of him. N. Brio, get changed!
• When Madame Amberly comments on Dr. Cortex's wardrobe:
  Amberly: So, crybaby Cortex is all grown up! I see you found employment as a barber.
  Cortex: (whiny) I'm an evil scientist!
  Amberly: A scientist, are you? To me, you'll always be a little worm!
• Cortex: "How I envy the simple life of the tribal folk." (Papu Papu rolls his belly, impressing the on-lookers) "Living in harmony with nature...the noble boar, the humble bumblebee!" (A swarm of bees proceed to surround and sting Cortex, causing him to run away, screaming in pain)
  • The rest of the level is an Escort Mission where Crash has to remove obstacles from Cortex' path. At one point, an entire hive falls on Cortex's head, followed by a hungry bear.
• Just the severe Beat before any of the snowboarding levels as music plays before Crash kicks Cortex over the ledge.
• The "birthday party... except the exact opposite". What sells it are Crunch standing there among all the past villains with a cake in his hands, looking completely bewildered, and Polar with a baseball bat in his hands and the most sinister look on his face.
• One of the trailers for the game proudly announced the game has "spanking". (cue footage of Cortex spanking Crash)
• Right before the fight with Uka Uka:
  Uka Uka: My my, can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you...or kill you!
  Crash: *goes in to kiss Uka Uka*
  • The French version of this scene changes it a little bit, as Uka Uka says kill before kiss. It implies that he may regret killing Cortex, but is really pissed off by the sole idea of kissing him.
• The entire "Fish" cutscene.
  Penguin: (angry penguin noises)
  Cortex: The check bounced? Are you so sure? Well, the last few years have kind of been slow... Wrath of Cortex didn't do as well as we hoped, and-
  Penguin: Grrrr...
  Cortex: Fish?
  The scene continues to switch between the penguin and Cortex holding a fish... until the fish is replaced with a gun, which Cortex shoots to stun the penguin. The other ones start flying upwards with jetpacks as Cortex jumps to switch which penguin he’s aiming at with an... incredible battle face.
• The flashback scene where Cortex finally remembers the villainous parakeets from the Tenth Dimension. Young Cortex is deliciously evil as he is now. There's also the fact that as a child, the 'N' on his forehead is lower case.
  Cortex: I was eight years old and the most popular student in the academy. Ah, yes... (a student throws a knife at him offscreen that barely misses his head) how they loved me.
  • After explaining that his younger self ended up sending Victor and Moritz into another dimension with a prototype Evolv-O-Ray:
    Cortex: My parrots were gone! Lost amongst the infinite dimensions! I was heartbroken...
    [Young Cortex chuckles evilly.]
  • Even better, his final closing words at the end of the flashback where his younger self snaps back at him.
    Cortex: But Be Careful What You Wish For, young man...
    Young Cortex: BACK OFF, GRANDPA!
• The scene where a farmer asks Crash and Cortex to help clear out the worms infesting his land.
  Farmer: Oh, Crash, the farmer's market is tomorrow and my wumpa trees won't grow, for my orchard is riddled with greedy worms! If you rid my land of these pests, I'll give you this Power Crystal.
  (Cortex, without hesitation, shoots the farmer with his ray gun and takes the Crystal anyway)
  Cortex: (shrugging) I'm an evil scientist, what do you expect? This isn't a game.
  • Before clearing out the garden anyway.
• Upon finding Evil Crash sitting by a tied-up Nina, Cortex heroically tells him to let her go and take him instead. He proceeds to squeal after Evil Crash gives him a look and starts chasing after him.
  • The chase itself has a fair share of comical moments, but for whatever reason, in the PAL version, Evil Crash’s AI bugs out and soon starts moving back and forth in the same place in every three set of sequences, leading to Cortex running from nothing, yet still screaming in pure terror and not being mindful of the traps ahead.
    • Also, during the chase, one of the obstacles involve spinning around a platform for Cortex to land onto. If he gets on it early as it’s moved around, he actually ends up going backwards for a moment, if to complete the animation and ensure Evil Crash is still close behind him, before turning back around.
    • Many of the mooks set themselves up near obstacles that will very obviously lead them to their demise upon Crash getting rid of them.
• Both parts of the ending.
  • After their defeat, the Evil Twins flee to a nearby building. Said building happens to be Evil Crash's house. Cue Meat-o-Vision as Moritz comments on his love of roast chicken and Victor starts realizing what's going to happen to them.
    Victor: Well, this is one heck of an ending.
  • Back at the Iceberg Lab, Cortex attempts to kill Crash now that the Evil Twins are gone. The end result is Cortex trapped in Crash's mind with hundreds of Crashes.
    • That's not all. Every single Crash is doing the dance.... you know the one.
• The bonus video, unlocked after getting 100% in the NTSC version of the game, featuring... Crash and Cortex in therapy doing a trust exercise.
  "I'm in a safe place... I'm in a safe place... Ohhh-AAAH!"
• The soundtrack is equal parts awesome and funny... particularly the Worm Chase theme, which is particularly hilarious rendition of The Blue Danube Waltz.
• The deleted scenes are hilarious.
  • After Coco accidentally freezes herself after kicking him in the "crystals," Cortex decides to draw a moustache and thick eyebrows on her face.
  • Cortex was originally going to dress in drag as a disguise for the Hi-Seas Hi-Jinks level, so as to "not attract the wrong kind of attention". Cut to N. Gin viewing disguised!Cortex through a telescope.
    N. Gin: [Wolf Whistle] Now that's my kind of woman!
  • Crash and Cortex swapping personalties due to the Psychaetron malfunctioning.
    Cortex: A pain in my chest! I feel...nice. And I can't stand it! Help me!
  • Cortex meets his Good Counterpart in the Tenth Dimension.
    Cortex: We must be careful. The dimensions coexist in fragile equilibrium. Any contact with our alter egos in this reality could prove disastrous!
    Good Cortex: [cheerful] Welcome to the Tenth...
    Cortex: [screams and shoots him with his ray gun]
    [Cortex winces, expecting the universe to fall apart for killing his good counterpart. He opens his eyes, but nothing has happened. Crash and Nina stare at him, bewildered.]]
    Cortex: Forget I said anything.
  • There was going to be a scene involving Coco's Tenth Dimension counterpart. For some reason, this didn't make the cut.
    Evil Coco: Ain't that sweet. It's a real man who ain't afraid to show his feelings. And my mom says real men prefer their cocoa hot and bitter.
    Cortex: [awkwardly] I'm...not thirsty. [to Crash, who's taking in the view] Let's go.
  • Then when Cortex gives a lesson on how Mecha-Bandicoot works:
  Cortex: Mecha-Bandicoot is equipped with an electronic brain, programmed with Crash's own cerebral patterns.
  (Crash has a lightbulb in his mouth, which explodes)
  Aku Aku: Are you sure that was wise?
  Cortex: (Pushes button on computer) Let's bring him home. ENGAGE AUTO-PILOT! What's the worst that could happen?
  (Cut to Mecha-Bandicoot stomping through Papu-Papu's village)
• Cortex's dramatic introduction to his Iceberg Lab can't avoid a bump in the road:
  Cortex: Before you rises a cathedral of DIABOLICAL GENIUS! Scary, but in the wrong hands this iceberg lair could do much... goodness in this world.
  *Cortex pulls out a remote*
  Cortex: Of course, only I have the key. Observe.
  *Cortex presses the button. Nothing happens. He looks around confusedly, then starts mashing the button while frustratedly groaning. When still nothing happens, he starts screaming.*
  Cortex: *calmly* Follow me! I know... another way.
• The back of the game's case even gets a funny moment. Along the right side of it is a list of all the game's moves (well, "Spank" being the only exception)...and the last one is called "Censored". And it's covered up by the ESRB rating. The fact that it's an E-rating tops the whole thing off.
• The many numbers of times the Evil Twins try to make a grand build up....and Moritz completely kills the mood.
  Victor: A curse on you, Crash Bandicoot! A curse on you ALL! We shall meet again!!!
  *the twins make a dramatic exit, only for Moritz to suddenly peek back*
  Moritz: Oh, and forget what I said about the riches, okay? *winks*

---