Funny / Congo

• Peter wakes up to find a leech attached to his penis.
  Munro: It's your leech. You take it off.
  • After Munro gives Peter his cigar to burn it off, he hands it back to Munro. Who immediately throws it to the ground.
  • The pair of Mizumu were already hiding in the background during the whole thing.
• Richard's conversation with an African porter.
  Richard: So, what's your name again?
  Claude: Claude.
  Richard: Oh. Well, that's a very odd name for someone from... uh... where are you from again?
  Claude: Mombasa.
  Richard: Yeah, that's a very odd name for someone from Mombasa.
  Claude: Have you ever been to Mombasa?
  Richard: Um, no.
  Claude: Then what do you know about it?
  (Claude puts out his cigarette and walks away.)
  Richard: I wanna go home!
• The detention scene.
  Richard: This is pure Kafka...
  Interrogator: WHO IS KAFKA?? TELL ME!!!
  • It's too ironic that Kafka wrote a story about this very scenario: our hero being detained for the crime of committing no crime.
• Delroy Lindo's One Scene. ALL OF IT.
  Captain Wanta: Have some coffee and cake. (When they do not immediately take him up on this offer, he adopts a more cross tone) Have some!
  (two mustard-strapped stacks of US currency — twenty grand — are placed before him. Beat.)
  Captain Wanta: More.
  (Three more stacks)
  Captain Wanta: Mister Homolka; stop eating my sesame cake. (Beat) Stop! Eating my sesame cake!
  Homolka: (Gingerly puts the cake down, all the while he spits out the bit of cake he was already chewing on)
  Captain Wanta: (puts money in paper bag) So, I'll put this away. (staples bag shut) Don't-want-no-body-peeking!
• Peter and Amy talking about Dr. Karen Ross who's sitting across from them.
  Amy: Ugly. Woman.
  Peter: Yes, yes. Very ugly woman.
  • Peter gave Amy an egg to eat, only for her to throw it at Karen.
  Peter: You upset her.
  Karen: What did I do?!
  • Karen's incredulous reaction to Peter mixing Amy a martini to calm her nerves while on the plane.
• Eddie Ventro asks whether or not Amy is for sale. Homolka asks how much she'd go for, to Peter's indignation. "I'm just curious!"
  • In fact, pretty much everything Eddie Ventro has to say, but these two gems in particular:
  A group of armed and apparently agitated soldiers runs past their cart on the airport tarmac
  Eddie Ventro: Hiya, fellas!
  Karen Ross: Who are they?
  Eddie Ventro: Fucked if I know, and it don't pay to ask. We're on our third government in two years.
  And later...
  Eddie steps out of a DC-3 with a bandage on his forehead
  Munro Kelly: Eddie! What happened to your head?
  Eddie Ventro: Customs agent hit me in the head with a can of peanut oil for stamping visas! I'm telling you, I'm never going back to that country; they have permanently wigged out.
• It's somewhat assuming the way the Killer Gorillas fall into the lava.
• During the final battle with the gorillas, Karen brings in a laser powered by the crystals:
  Munro Kelly: What the hell is that?
  Karen Ross: The latest thing in communication!

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