- Autua reassuring Adam Ewing that he isn't going to eat him by saying that he doesn't like "white meat".
- Pretty much the entirety of Dermot Hoggins's screentime, aided by the fact that Tom Hanks is playing a cockney gangster.
- "Cause of injury: Pussy."
- "Soylent Green is people! Soylent Green is maaaaaade of peeeeplleeeee!" Later turns into Fridge Horror.
- "Are there no true Scotsmen in the house?!" and the brawl that ensues. Making it even better is it's the otherwise near-silent Mr. Meeks screaming this.
- Just about every scene in that segment is made of pure hilariousness.
- The Mexican woman bludgeoning the Assassin to death. "Don't call me a wetback!"
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