Funny / Charlize Theron

• A la a Mood Whiplash, when asked about whether she wanted to own/ride an unconventional animal, Charlize talks about how mistreated and/or endangered animals always makes her sad and frustrated with society, which makes Emily Blunt (who previously replied that she wanted to ride a tiger) feel guilty.
• After winning her Oscar, she described Renée Zellweger as:
  "She's like a pizza: always good..."
• She revealed in an Ellen DeGeneres interview that she used to practise making out with herself, and then asks Ellen whether she'd ever attempted to suck her inner elbow, pretending it was lips, before stopping herself awkwardly. The audience howl with laughter.
• In another interview, she talked about her enjoyment of The Bachelor and how she felt about Bachelor in Paradise.

  Charlize: (after mentioning how squicky she found having sand as a bedroom floor) They're [the contestants] just sandy, dirty, hormonal things.

  Ellen: [bemused] ...That's your issue with the show?

  Charlize: Yes! The sleeping around, I have no problem with. Thumbs up!

  • While playing "Heads Up!":
    Ellen: Sexiest man alive.
    Charlize: [holding a photo of George Clooney above her head] Jennifer Lopez?!
• When she first met Barack Obama, she had a spot of what she calls "verbal diarrhoea" (that she gets whenever she's nervous) and offered to take him to a strip club. She struggled to sleep for a month because the blunder haunted her whenever she closed her eyes.
• The cast of The Italian Job (2003) had to take special driving lessons to withstand the stunt driving. Charlize explained her annoyance that she had been booked for more lessons than the rest of the cast, but by day seven, when everyone had to swerve around several times, she could take the motion whereas her male co-stars had to excuse themselves (Mark Wahlberg called her, wheezing queasily, and then she saw his silhouette vomiting behind his car).
• At the end of an ExtraTV interview promoting Prometheus, the interviewer (A. J. Calloway) hesitates about asking another question and mumbles to himself that he won't ask it. Cue Charlize and Guy Pearce lightly teasing him:
  Guy: [goading] Go on. Go there.
  Charlize: Wow, you actually stopped yourself? That's never happened before. [to Guy] I've known this man for a long time and he's never short for words. That was unbelievable — what was that? [to interviewer] Are you BLUSHING?!
  A. J.: [sheepishly] Mildly.
  Charlize: Oh my God!
  A. J.: [giggling shyly] Charlize, stop!
  (everyone laughs)
• During the filming of The Huntsman: Winter's War her eldest got a Precocious Crush on Emily Blunt, to the degree where they were driving past a poster for the film with Theron and Blunt on it and she (the daughter) blurted, "Look, it's Emily!"
  • The blooper where Theron ruined a take by suddenly belching in Emily's face. Blunt later said that the scene couldn't be filmed for the rest of the day because she couldn't stop laughing.
• The intense and uncomfortable mood and plot of North Country led to the cast mutually "sexually harassing" each other (e.g. Flirtatious Smack on the Ass) to ease the tension. The men had to harass the women in the movie, and then the women did it back off-camera.
  • The Conan interview that discussed this led to Charlize admitting that she has a habit of having Precocious Crushes on older men, specifically Ozzy Osbourne. Conan couldn't hide his shock.
• Charlize is always injuring herself on sets, but not in conventional or flattering ways. To name a few:
  • Nearly losing her voice from doing her Megyn Kelly impression too much;
  • Almost giving herself a concussion when she was tying her shoe and her head jerked back and collided with a bench;
  • Locking her neck and landing her in the hospital for five days from laughing at Borat too hard;
  • She broke some teeth on Atomic Blonde... because she was clenching them too much;
  • Damaging her vocal chords from her labor scene in The Road because she wanted to prove She Really Can Act when the director wanted to overdub her with Screaming Birth mothers;
  • Injuring her back on Tully from her weight gain.
• Trying to promote A Million Ways to Die in the West on The Graham Norton Show. Emphasis on try.
  "It's really funny and...I'm naked!"
  • She also demonstrates the uncanny ability to imitate a goat.
    • To prelude that, Graham insinuates that she was very "comfortable" around sheep.
    Graham: I imagine you were very comfortable around the sheep.
    Charlize: What is that supposed to mean?
    Graham: Weren't you raised around goats?
    Charlize: Well start with that. They [the audience] don't know that.
• When talking to Michael B. Jordan for Variety's Actors on Actors series of interviews, she got quite emotional talking about what it was like for her, as a white South African woman with two adopted African-American daughters, to watch Black Panther (2018), and to feel like it had broken so many glass ceilings in the way that it presented African and African-American characters, and how growing up under apartheid had left her with lingering issues of anger and guilt that she hadn't begun to resolve until her 30s, and how she couldn't wait until her daughters were old enough to watch it with her. Then:
  Charlize: [wiping her eyes] Asshole. Now I need a tissue.
• Using a Not That There's Anything Wrong with That when talking about how proud she was of the lesbian sex scene in Atomic Blonde by pointing out:
  "...and I love me a love-making scene with a man ... I love it in my real life..."
• In a Q&A for the Screen Actors Guild, she spoke about how hard it was to make decisions after winning several awards for Monster because she hadn't been used to having many options in Hollywood, to which she backtracks and feels frustratingly guilty for her First-World Problems. Despite the host trying to defend her, Charlize "reminds" herself:
  Charlize: No, working in a mine is hard. Have some perspective, white lady.
• Her appearance on Hot Ones has a variety of gems.
  • The Running Gag hatred of the Da Bomb sauce, which included her flipping the bottle off because it ruined her experience, and then exaggeratingly pretending to throw it.
  • This:
    Charlize: Am I crying?
    Sean: You have a glow...
    Charlize: I have a "glow"...?
    Sean: But I wouldn't call it—
    Charlize: Which just means I'm really fucking sweating.
  • As a whole, Sean pointing out her high tolerance. The comments section frequently notes this as well, comparing her to other guests that unexpectedly reacted badly to the hotter sauces: some of Hollywood's toughest men had Manly Tears whereas Charlize became a Cluster F-Bomb, deadpan snarking cynic by the chicken wing.
• On Chelsea Handler's talk show, she was promoting Atomic Blonde, which led to Chelsea pointing out her new Action Girl status:
  Chelsea: But, you like violence [in movies], right? You're rough!
  Charlize: [confused] ...What does that—? How do you—?
  Chelsea: You like it rough?
  Charlize: ...[grins, and winks with a shrug]
• Her turn at the "Instagram vs. Reality" meme.
• Just talking about Inside Out made her misty-eyed. She was embarrassed, but it convinced Emily Blunt to watch the movie at any chance she got.
• Her appearance on How Did This Get Made?, stating that she had seen hardcore porn that was less horny than Hello Mary-Lou: Prom Night II

---