Funny / Casino Royale (2006)

• Mathis' introductory scene in the book, where he pretends to be a salesman before playing loud music and telling Bond his room is bugged by Le Chiffre. After Mathis leaves, Bond starts loudly swearing just to annoy his surveyors.
• During the chase scene through the building site in Madagascar, the bomber jumps through an opening at the top of the wall - while Bond just runs through the wall entirely.
• M's rant deserves to be quoted in its entirety:
  "Who the hell do they think they are?! I report to the Prime Minister and even he's smart enough not to ask me what we do. Have you ever seen such a bunch of self-righteous, arse-covering prigs? They don't care what we do; they care what we get photographed doing. And how the hell could Bond be so stupid? I give him double-O status and he celebrates by shooting up an embassy. Is the man deranged? And where the hell is he? In the old days, if an agent did something that embarrassing he'd have the good sense to defect. Christ, I miss the Cold War!"
• Bond chasing through Madagascar, smashing through or simply avoiding obstacles while his quarry leaps and slides. Later on the crane he throws his empty gun at Bond who nonchalantly snatches it out of the air and throws it back at his face, nearly knocking him off.
• This hilarious exchange when Bond breaks into M's house.
  Bond: I thought 'M' was a randomly assigned letter. I had no idea it stood for M—
  M: Utter one more syllable and I'll have you killed.
  • And the best part is that Bond actually shuts up and looks chastised.
• Bond, at The Ocean Club trying to trace a message, gets mistaken for a valet by a rude German tourist. He then proceeds to crash the car in the parking lot^note after parking perfectly as if to show us he could to create a distraction for security. For good measure, he then throws the key into a set of nearby bushes.
  • Later the tourist turns up at the bar at the same time Bond does and gets this "Don't I know you?" look on his face. Bond shrugs it off, and even tells him "Guten Abend!" ("Good evening").
• After Bond manages to stop the fuel truck from crashing into the plane, he pauses for a moment, looking around wide-eyed as if he can't believe he just did that. That alone is funny, but then he opens the door... and promptly falls flat on his face. And after getting up and dusting himself off... he's tackled by Miami-Dade police officers and slammed against a squad car.
  • Followed by an almost comical Oh, Crap! face from Carlos when he hits the trigger on his cell phone, only to discover that Bond clipped the bomb to the back of his belt when they were fighting, and Bond getting a sadistic grin on his face when the guy blows his own ass off.
• When Bond has a chip installed so MI6 knows where he is he lets out a deadpan 'Ow'. He then spends the rest of the film getting beaten, poisoned, crashed, tortured and gets a nail in his back without complaint.
• The end of Bond and Vesper's dueling Sherlock Scan scene on the train.
  Vesper: So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money — and off your perfectly-formed arse.
  Bond: (pleased) You noticed.
  Vesper: Even accountants have imaginations. How was your lamb?
  Bond: Skewered. One sympathizes.
• When Bond is going over the last-minute details of his cover story, he finds that his name is "Arlington Beech" while Vesper's name is "Stephanie Broadchest". Vesper is incredulous; Bond, highly amused, refuses to let her see the file that supposedly contains this and the rest of their orders.
  Bond: (reading his orders) Apparently we're very much in love.
  Vesper: Do you always leave it to valets to tell you such things?
  • When it turns out they'll share a hotel room Bond tries to reassure.
    Vesper: Do I have to worry about you, Mr Bond?
    Bond: No. Don't worry you're not my type.
    Vesper: Smart?
    Bond: Single.
• The tuxedo scene. After talking with Vesper and giving her a backless dress for the first night of the tournament, Bond catches something amiss as ominous music plays...to see a suit bag on the bed. He confronts Vesper:
  Bond: I have a dinner jacket.
  Vesper: There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets. This is the latter. And I need you looking like a man who belongs at that table.
  Bond: But how the...? It's tailored!
  Vesper: I sized you up the moment we met.
  • Subsequently, Bond tries it on and, given his rough background, looks uncomfortable while Vesper visibly is smirking at him. Even better is when she starts laughing and he gives her a look that says "Shut up."
• Bond gives his drink order at the poker table - three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken well over ice until chilled, and served with a large, thin slice of lemon peel (which is pretty much how the original novel had it!). That wouldn't be as funny if not for the fact that three more players at the table (one of whom lasts to the final round, no less) immediately decide they'd like to have one as well to tide them over, much to Le Chiffre's annoyance.
  Le Chiffre: Anyone want to play poker now? (takes a puff from his inhaler)
  Leiter: (aside to Bond) Someone's in a hurry.
  • With Felix Leiter making the point of changing the order slightly, telling the barman to "Keep the fruit."
• Vesper's dry wit knows no boundaries. After a round, Bond goes up to her and tries to kiss her. She rebuffs him.
  "This is me in character pissed off that you're losing so fast, we won't be here past midnight. Strangely my character's feelings mirror my own."
  • Earlier than that she trolls him with her entrance. She was meant to enter from behind where he was sitting, to make sure the other players are Distracted by the Sexy. She decides to enter from the other side, so Bond can see her too.
  • Bond comes up with a convenient reason for them to leave the bar: loudly saying "you want to do what to me?"
• The subverted Mythology Gag:
  Waiter: Shaken or stirred?
  Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
• Felix Leiter introduces himself to Bond after Bond loses his money and is about to kill Le Chiffre. Leiter says he is doing so badly that he is willing to bankroll Bond back into the game.
  Bond: What about the winnings?
  Felix: Does it look like we need the money?
  • Indeed, Felix looks utterly fed-up by the time he bets the last of his money.
• An understated moment: After Bond buys back in and begins beating Le Chiffre, the latter instinctively tries hiding the twitch that indicates he's bluffing. When he realises what he's doing, and that Bond knows about his tell, he immediately stops hiding it and opts to just fold, the jig obviously being up.
• After Vesper revives Bond after he almost dies from digitalis poisoning:
  Bond: You okay?
  Vesper: (in disbelief) Me?
• When Bond is very nearly poisoned, Vesper saves him at the last moment. Both her and MI6 suggest that he goes to a hospital, but Bond insists on completing the poker game. Vesper disbelievingly asks if he's seriously considering going back inside, and his sarcastic response sells it.
  Bond: I wouldn't dream of it.
• "I'm sorry. That last hand...nearly killed me."
• Le Chiffre shares a smirk with Valenka when he thinks he has the poker game in the bag with a high-scoring full house. Then the smile is wiped right off his face when Bond wins the game with a straight flush.
• A Funny Moment happens when Bond completely destroys the moment while Le Chiffre tries to torture him:
  Bond: I've got a little itch...down there." (Beat) Would you mind?
  Le Chiffre huffs in annoyance, raises the carpet beater— and gives a THUMP!
  Bond: ARGH—NO! (grunts loudly) To the RIGHT—TO THE RIGHT!
  Le Chiffre: (chuckles) You're a funny man, Mr. Bond! (THUMP!)
  Bond: ARGH—YES!!! Yes! Yes! (busts a gut laughing) Now the whole WORLD'S gonna know that you died scratching my balls!!!
• Mendel (the banker's) appearance at the villa. From his ridiculously stiff jog up to interrupt Bond and Vesper to his foppish laugh that meets no reaction, he is one of the funniest characters in the movie.
  • Mendel's entire Camp Straight schtick in general is hilarious in a movie that is otherwise very much a serious fusion of Martini and Stale Beer Spy Fiction.
• James manages to turn Vesper's deeply touched expression into a Moment of Funny, after he reveals the password to transfer the money.
  Vesper: (on the verge of tears) You know, James... if all that was left of you were your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever known.
  (dramatic pause; Bond leans in)
  Bond: That's because you know what I can do with my little finger.
• During the recovery montage, Bond surprises Vesper that he was able to finally stand. They then started making out on a hospital bed, before rolling to the side and falling off.
• When Vesper expresses surprise at James telling her he loves her he proves it in his own unique way.
  Vesper: You love me?
  James: Enough to quit the service and float around the world with you until one of us has to get an honest job. But I think that's gonna have to be you because I've got no idea what an honest job is.

---