Funny / Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics)

• In the very first issue of Carol's Captain Marvel series, Absorbing Man takes a number of shots at Carol, calling her Captain America's secretary and deriding Captain America for taking orders from a woman.
  Carol: This 'broad' left the service a full bird colonel. So technically, I outrank him.
  Steve: I've been trying to get you demoted for years.
• Later, he succeeds in finally demoting her:
  Steve: Bottom line is this: you have lead the Avengers. You have saved the world. Quit being an adjunct... take the mantle.
  [Beat]
  Steve: Unless you don't think you can handle it.
  Carol: Wait, did you just dare me?
  Steve: You're Air Force. Always works.
• During Civil War, Carol ends up meeting Machine Man in his first post-Nextwave appearance when S.H.I.E.L.D. assigns him to her.
  Aaron: Now then, I wish to drink heavily and investigate the worthiness of this craft's floors for laying about unconsc-
  Carol: Hang on! You don't walk onto my ship and-
  Aaron: I am not impressed with your ship. My previous ship had five tesseract zones. You don't have any tesseract zones. My old ship also had a mini-fridge. Do YOU have a mini-fridge?
  • And after Aaron finally went to his quarters to assemble his "Signing Incentive".
    Carol: What the hell was he talking about?
    Sleepwalker: Lady I got no idea. I met that guy twenty minutes ago and he hasn't stopped terrifying me since.