Funny / Brotherband

Since this is a work by John Flanagan, snarking and general funny moments are bound to occur.

• The Outcasts:
  • Tursgud keeps insisting that he can get away with anything because his father is the Maktig. However, this falls flat on two occasions. In the first, he says it to Thorn, who grimly replies that it's a good thing his dad's not there (and given The Reveal about Thorn's backstory...) The second attempt fails when he says it to Erak, who responds with this gem:
    Erak: Actually, I can, even though my daddy's not the Maktig. Because I'm the Oberjarl. Understand?
  • The Herons' Confusion Fu against the Sharks during the second night attack, especially Stefan's role.
  • Stig proudly declares to Erak that the Heron will sail rings around any wolfship...except Wolfwind, of course.
• The Invaders:
  • While laying out The Plan, Svengal asks about the role of his crew, and if Hal expects him to sit back and do nothing. Hal jokingly replies that sure, he had a hard voyage, he might want to lean back and rest... Svengal is somewhat perturbed, since he's usually the Sarcastic Devotee.
  • The jokes in that book about Thorn's lack of hygiene.
    Thorn: I smell all right.
    Hal: You smell, all right.
  • After Thorn declares he can't stand boy smell and Stig points out the Hypocritical Humor:
    Thorn: I have a mature smell, I believe.
    Stig: So does cheese.
  • Hal snitches Thorn's battered sheepskin vest to make sure his new fin for Heron fits snugly. After a while, Thorn realizes the implications of his missing vest and the fin's sheepskin lining, and he continually brings up that Hal owes him a new, pricey one.
  • Thorn is Not a Morning Person, as Ulf and Edvin find out one morning aboard ship.
  • Thorn tells Lydia he's the ship's cat.
• The Hunters:
  • After Hal gets beaten up, Edvin tells him to stand up and walk so he doesn't get stiff. Hal snarkily asks if he should dance a jig. Stig quips that that's fine if he feels like it.
  • Upon rising, he starts groaning, and Ingvar asks if he's all right.
    Hal: Of course I am. I'm making these strange noises because I'm overjoyed with the waves of agony that are running through my body.
  • Upon getting free of their cell, Hal asks Thorn what the plan is. They'll have to be subtle, so as not to draw attention. Being Skandian, Thorn's plan is to go up the stairs quietly and bash anyone who gets in their way.
  • Erak points out a bit on Wolfwind that the shipwrights didn't fix, and Svengal says it's from where he banged the wharf coming in a couple years back.
  Erak: I don't bang wharfs.
  Svengal: Oh, yes, my mistake. I forgot. The wharf banged you. That's right, I remember now. The wharf banged you. It fairly leapt off its pilings and barged into the ship. Terrible things, wharves. You can never trust them.
  Erak: Do you ever shut up?
  Svengal: Rarely.
  • When Erak meets Lydia, he kisses her hand politely and calls her a keeper, at which she smiles and thanks him politely. Since Thorn's called her this several times, and always gets a response of "shut up, old man," he's reduced to red-faced, incoherent spluttering.
  Erak: It's a matter of charm, Thorn. Some got it. Some don't got it.
  Edvin: (sotto voce) Some don't got good grammar, either.
  • The Saga of Hal and the Heron Brotherband. All of it. Particularly Hal being the Only Sane Man and complaining about the exaggerations and atrocious rhymes, while Erak, who considers himself a Cultured Badass, loving it. Highlights include:
    Jesper and Stefan: They sailed down a waterfall a hundred meters high/And sank a dozen pirate ships as they were passing by!
    Hal: Two! TWO! And they were boats, not ships!
    Erak: You probably had to be there to appreciate it.
    Hal: I was there!
  • And:
    Jesper and Stefan: We sailed into Raguza and Hal said as bold as brass, we've come to challenge Zavac and we plan to kick his...
    Svengal: LANGUAGE!
    Beat while they improvise
    Jesper and Stefan: We've come to challenge Zavac and he's going to breathe his last.
  • Also, the fact that it was Svengal, of all people, who interrupted them (out of consideration for a local lady).
  • It's noted throughout that Erak's been swinging his ale tankard a bit too boisterously, drenching everyone else in his proximity. At the end of the saga, he looks down and demands to know who's been drinking his ale.
• Slaves of Socorro:
  • Anders losing his patience with Bjarni's anxious hovering.
  • Hal declaring that as the skirl he can give himself permission to keep the dog he found rather than having to get his mother's. Thorn doesn't find it very convincing.
  • Most of the sequence of Hal awkwardly trying to get his irritated mother to accept Kloof.
  • Erak discovers his chewed staff right when the Heron is about to leave harbor, resulting in a rather hurried departure (by which we mean the ship sailing out as fast as possible while Erak is literally dancing with anger on the harbor). Ingvar admits to Lydia that this is par for the course.
  • At one point, while Ulf and Wulf are bickering, even the narrator loses track of who's who.
  • Gilan, having joined the crew for the first time, doesn't know not to give the twins an opportunity. Hilarity Ensues. Ultimately, Hal suggests that he throw them both overboard and the Ranger agrees that sounds good.
• Scorpion Mountain:
  • When Geoffrey the Jeweler complains about Skandians having stolen an ingot from him, Hal's first assumption is that Jesper's been up to his usual tricks. (The theft was actually years ago.)
  • The assassin sent to kill Princess Cassandra gets a rather unpleasant wake-up, first awakening to see Kloof's slavering jaws inches from his face, then seeing the enraged Ulf and Wulf and finally receiving one of Thorn's unpleasant grins as the old warrior looks over the situation.
  • Thorn suggests that the assassin probably thinks he's seeing double from being hit on the head when he first catches sight of Ulf and Wulf. It's even suggested he might actually be seeing double, meaning he'd see four of them. Lydia comments how horrible that would be.
  • Ulf and Wulf try to lure someone into a conversational trap as they did with Gilan the first time they passed the Straits of Iqbal, pondering why the Arridans don't have more variety in naming. Lydia epically shuts their mouths for a moment by snarkily pointing out that their names only differ by a letter.
  • Ulf and Wulf transition into another argument, with one pretending not to notice his brother. Hal calls Ingvar and asks him if he'd ever wanted to see how throwing one of them overboard looked.
  • The Herons dubbing the widely-feared corsair Philip Bloodyhand "Philip Pussyfoot," "Philip Daintyfinger," and "Philip Tinkytoes."
  • Ingvar, excited over his new spectacles, storms the remaining crew of Phillip Bloodyhand's ship, taking out a number of them singlehandedly, and then yells "Let's get 'em!" and leads the rest of the Herons in defeating and capturing the others. Thorn complains that the young man stole the fight from under his nose.
    Hal: He had plenty of room to move, then.
  • Thorn continues sulking and griping about Ingvar stealing "his" fight and "his thing" (the traditional battle cry "Let's get 'em!").
  • The Arridan cavalry can't stop gawking at Ulf and Wulf. Finally Wulf asks one what he's staring at, and the hapless soldier says that he looks just like the crewman over there. Wulf retorts that it's Ulf who looks like him, and if he knows what's good for him, he'll cut it out.
  • Gilan noting after Lydia fells Iqbal with her atlatl (rather like Evanlyn/Cassandra smacked his brother with a slung stone) that Iqbal's family doesn't have a lot of luck with women who throw things.
  • Lydia and Thorn's staged argument as the Heron sails toward Scorpion Mountain.
  • In the amphitheatre, Stefan uses his mimicry skills to make it sound as if Thorn is making fun of Lydia. Thorn gets him back by kicking his butt. Literally. It catapults him up and several feet forwards. Afterwards, Stefan feels too sore to cause more trouble and ruefully agrees with Thorn's warning that he should make sure he's not in kicking range if he ever does it again.
  • Umar tells Hal and Stig that he rescued Erak single-handedly. Well, Gilan was there, and Will, and Halt, and Horace, and Evanlyn, and Svengal. But apart from them, he was all alone.
  Gilan: And apart from a hundred and twenty of your warriors.
  Umar: Well, of course one hundred and twenty of my warriors! But they were a ceremonial guard. No Bedullin Aseikh would think of traveling without a small retinue! But I stress, apart from those paltry numbers, I performed the feat entirely on my own.
  • The repetition of The Saga of Hal and the Heron Brotherband, including such gems as trying to rhyme "Araulen" and "doin'". Erak thinks it's genius. Hal isn't so sure.
    • This comes to a peak in The Stern Chase, when Hal locks Jesper in a cupboard during a party so that he won't be able to perform his usual saga.