As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked. You have been warned.
Emma discussing Cabbage Patch kids:
God, what even is a Cabbage Patch Kid? It's like you're cutting into a head of lettuce, and, oh shit, a baby. It's like... I wanted a salad, but now I have a child.
Linda being mean to Becky:
I hope you don't get a Wiggly. (Beat) I hope you fucking die.
After "CaliforM.I.A.," Lex gets a hysterical bit of Hypocritical Humor, when she sees Hannah imitating her and Ethan's "smoking."
Lex: What is this? [imitates smoking] That better be FUCKING FLOSS! [sighs] Let's go, I need a cigarette!
Most of "Our Doors Are Open" is darkly hilarious.
"It's advisable that we're not liable for anyone who dies!" (Horrifying, but true.)
The casual reveal that Lex has armed herself with pepper spray in preparation for this Black Friday.
Give us your fucking money!/Give us your fucking cash!/Give us fucking money!/It’s where it’s at!/Oh I, I, I, like to touch, touch, touch my money— and then the cutback to reality. The fact that the word "money" is almost unheard makes it even funnier.
What makes it better is the second act starts with us watching the movie, with absolutely no context given, which could leave you very confused, unless you happen to remember the title of the movie Ethan was trying to buy tickets for earlier. After the song "Deck the Halls of Northville High School," we see Tom in the movie theater, sitting up, squinting at the screen, and summing up the thoughts of everyone in the audience:
Tom: ...What the fuck am I watching?
Just the fact that this ridiculous movie is the first thing Tom sees and hears when he wakes up after being stabbed and passing out.
As Becky examines Tom's wound:
Tom: How is it? Becky: It's not good, Tom. Tom: No, I meant the movie. Becky: So did I. It's real bad.
Extra points for the Mood Whiplash during "Take Me Back" when we unexpectedly find ourselves watching the movie again, and following up Tom and Becky's Big Damn Kiss with a completely absurd one between Chris Kringle and Noël. This causes Tom to change his tune about the film.
Tom: THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!
The beautiful Mood Whiplash after an utterly horrifying song in which a Hate Plague-infected Becky and Tom try to lure Hannah to their doom. Becky lunges at the girl with the syringe filled with an anesthetic... and accidentally gets her own leg.
Lex's passionate plea to help Tom see that the children don't actually care about the Wiggly toys.
The Running Gag of Linda constantly talking to her husband, Gerald, on the phone is already funny, but the payoff is perfect. After Becky shoots Linda in the head, everyone stares in shocked silence... until Linda's attorney, Gary, grabs her phone.
Gary: Hello, Gerald? Yeah, we're gonna have to discuss the will.
The image "The Tickle-Me Wiggly Jingle" ends on with Angela Giarratana basically trying to eat the Tickle-Me Wiggly Doll's face is amazing.
The President's Cabinet coming to blows over the Wiggly doll is one of the funniest Crosses the Line Twice moments of the whole play:
President Goodman: Shut the fuck up! Morris, I am the President of the United States, and I order you to hand me that fucking doll!
Bob Morris (In a Barack Obama impression): No! You're nothing more than a Harvard Law School community-organizing prick! Take one step closer to my fwendy-wend and I will rip your fucking throat out with my own teeth!
Secretary of State: He's not your fwendy-wend, he's mine! I'm gonna tickle that doll!
The hilarious Mood Whiplash when Uncle Wiley is convincing/seducing Linda to be Wiggly's prophet. After he repeatedly asks "Do you see him?" while creepy music plays, Linda's response is an exasperated "YES, I FUCKING SEE HIM!"
Hannah refuses to serve Wiggly because Webby told her he was bad. Wiggly's response that "Webby is a stupid bitch," is so ridiculously petty for an Eldritch Abomination it's hard not to laugh, especially given the later reveal that Webby is his sister who turned against him.
