Funny / Best Of The Worst 2018 Episodes

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• Plinketto #5 gets this:
  • One gets the idea that Rich was running late for filming, since the episode starts with Mike nonchalantly saying he died, only for him to show up during the "Deathstalker II" viewing, claiming it was faked for insurance reasons.
  • One of the films on the board that they don't watch is A Gnome Named Gnorm. Mike then pulls out the French version of the movie, where the title has been changed to Space Cop.
  • Mike makes several jokes about the various Hollywood sex scandals.
    Mike: I haven't even seen the first [Deathstalker], I dunno why II is here, what the fuck!?
    Jack: I'll do a quick recap if we land on it.
    Mike: Okay.
    Jack: Everyone gets raped.
    Mike: ...So...it's a film about Hollywood?
    (A crappy MIDI version of "Hooray for Hollywood" plays)
    Jack: Next is Metalbeast: DNA Overload! Oh, I'm sorry, Project Metalbeast DNA Overload!
    Mike: Wait, DNA Overload, isn't that the Louis C.K. story?
    (SPROING)
    Jack: Hey-yo!
    Mike: Oh yeah, what's Metalbeast: DNA Overload about? Probably a monster, right?
    Jack: Probably.
    Mike: So a film about Harvey Weinstein.
    (HONK)
    Jack: Hey-yo! The hits! Keep! On! Comin'! Take that, Hollywood elite!
  • Mike's joke about the movie Vibrations Crosses the Line Twice.
    Mike: The next film is called Vibrations. Starring Michael J. Fox.
    Jack: Awwwwww...
    Mike: No, cause he's in the film! Cause he's listed on the box.
    Jack: I don't- I don't see that.
    Mike: Oh, wait, sorry, it says "James Marshall". I don't have my glasses on. I wasn't making a joke about a deadly disease. What do you think I'm some kind of fuckin' asshole?
  • Jack finally getting to drop the ball, and it lands on Princess Warrior. Cue everyone else on set getting pissed, Jay flat out saying it was the worst film on the board.
    Mike: (offscreen) You're supposed to land on something else, not that!
  • When Mike reads the box for Nail Gun Massacre, the description brags about Gratuitous Rape content, causing Mike to mutter, "Oh, for fuck's sake!" disgustedly.
  • When Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans is selected, all they can remember from the previous film was the whimsical Gratuitous Rape. Mike even says outright he never saw the first movie, only to cut to the first movie's viewing showing Mike was there.
    • The Bad "Bad Acting" and No Budget of Deathstalker II led the crew to believe it was a Show Within a Show similar to the swashbuckling scene from The Rocketeer.
  • When watching Princess Warrior, they come across a scene where they're in some kind of futuristic alien teleportation tube, which only work if they're naked. The sudden cut to them naked in the tube almost causes Mike to do a Spit Take.
  • One of the central focuses of Princess Warrior ends up being a wet t-shirt contest that, when they time it, somehow takes up 37 minutes of the movie's runtime. This despite the fact that the fanservice a wet t-shirt contest is normally held for doesn't even work because none of the women's shirts get wet enough to be seen through anyway.
• Best of the Worst: Black Spine Edition and Spotlight Episode on Partners (2009).
  • Jack's pull from the shelf? Something called "Blackstreet Boys"... which causes Rich to loudly state "I'M DONE.", hand the camera to Mike, and leave.
  • Rich's pull is a customerization seminar by Don Beveridge, which causes Rich to break down, put his head into his arm, and begin pleading to the audience.
    Rich: We almost watched "Cryptz" today! We could've been watching "Cryptz" right now!
    • After Mike notices the runtime is three hours and forty-two minutes, he walks off... and Rich keeps going.
      Rich: (sadly sighs; to himself out loud) ...said-said-said, you know, "Michael, whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do with this episode." (now to the camera) And he specifically, he went out of his way, he said he wanted to make us suffer. Andthisis, he jus- he wanted to take everyone else down with him. ... This is Mike's 9/11.
      (everyone behind the camera breaks)
  • Everything about Don Beveridge, a Motor Mouth business speaker, who gives a "Customerization Seminar", and a very disjointed and unfocused one at that.
    Don Beveridge: You CANNOT sustain a competitive advantage in product or price, and the businesses that fail, and the people that fail-
    Rich: Is like a doctor gonna walk in front of the screen and start talking about the symptoms of some kind of cognitive disorder? "These are the signs."
    Don Beveridge: -some new benefit and some new bagel and some new ice cream-
    Mike: Don Beveridge's Disease?
    Rich: (Laughs)
    Jay: I wonder if this is like a social experiment where they get these people in to watch this seminar, and then they just have this guy rant about nonsense to see how long it takes them to figure it out.
    Jack: But for the past 30 years no one has figured it out that they're faking his advice, so they're just making notes still.
    Mike: And he's somehow become the world's leading business expert.
    • "TELL THE CREW TO PUSH THE WHOPPER BUTTON!"
    • A large amount of the seminar seems to consist of him yelling about food items like bagels, donuts, and ice cream.
      Don Beveridge: Rule #1: How. Does the customer. See. You? And my friend, if the answer is ICE CREAM-!^note The reason is that Beveridge was hosting a seminar for Dunkin' Brands, which includes Dunkin' Donuts and Baskin Robbins, among others.
    • He goes on a tangent about Superman stopping a bank robbery (after somebody calls Clark Kent to get a hold of him) and his main point was apparently that Superman creates lazy cops.^note It's more about how upper management shouldn't micromanage and do all the work themselves and should let the employees do their jobs themselves.
    • Since his seminar is at the Showboat Hotel in Atlantic City, New Jersey, there's an unintentional Visual Pun of a crazed Motor Mouth talking about nonsense with the word "SHOWBOAT" in the background.
    • "And by the way, I'll never forget J-Uhhhhhhhhh, Manny Garcia!"
  • The ending to their screening of The Plymouth International Ice Spectacular.
    Announcer: As the Ice Spectacular continues to grow, it attracts nationally and internationally renowned ice sculptors. You can be a part of what has become an international event. We are now, officially, the Plymouth International Ice Spectacular. (triumphant closing music sting)
    Mike: (Looking at his phone) It says it was cancelled a year later.^note It wasn't, and is still ongoing in 2022
    Jay: (Laughs)
  • After trying to introduce The Plymouth International Ice Spectacular, Mike decides to throw all three black spine VHS tapes away and dedicate the rest of the video to Partners (2009).
    • Rich attempts to explain the plot of the movie after Jay couldn't due it being a combination of a Kudzu Plot and a Random Events Plot. After five minutes of trying to explain a Gambit Roulette that happened, Mike stops him and says that they shouldn't even bother.
    • At one point, during a discussion of a scene, Jack interjects to stop them from leaving the scene just yet. Mike has to remind him that the scene they are talking about is the first scene of the movie.
      Jack: But- actually, before you go too far in this...
      Mike: (stammers) We're on the first scene.
      (Rich breaks)
    • "[T]hey go to the 'police station', aka. 'my dentist's office'."
    • The drive-by shooting toward the beginning. The two cops exit the "bar" (which is clearly just somebody's house) onto the porch to talk to the lounge singer whose boyfriend's murder they're investigating. Before the door is even shut one of the cops pulls out his gun and starts shooting at the street before the audience ever sees the car shooting at them. Once the car drives off, all three of them just brush themselves off and carry on the conversation as if the drive-by never happened.
    • The original director of photography and his crew walked out on the film. He posted on YouTube and Reddit:
      I can't believe you guys reviewed "Partners." I actually was hired as the original DP on this film and my oh my do I have stories. (Writing this as I watch so it may be a bit disjointed) In a nut shell, I walked off that production and took my crew with me after 3 days of shooting because it was such a shitshow. That's one of the reasons why the director's name appears in the credits for almost every position. With regards to the badge being upside down, Pete did that intentionally because it was a real badge on a fake cop. His logic was that no one would know it was real if it was upside down (because it would be "unreadable"). I shot the opening scene, the bar scene and one other (I believe I still have the raw footage) after that Pete took over and the rest is history. The drive-by scene was when I decided to split for good. There was no safety prep, no permits, no nothing. As a matter of fact a blank did actually fire out of the Uzi and scared the shit out of the crew. We were filming on Staten Island and a Swarm of NYPD rolled up on us after reports of gun shots in the area. Overall your assumptions about how the crew changed constantly is 100% correct. Anyway if you want some more info on the horror that was this production or the joke it became aftward, hit me up. I think I still even have the original script, complete with typos. Hopefully you guys see this :-)
    • The scene in the chief's office attempts a Shot/Reverse Shot, but the camera is focused on the guy's neck in the foreground and not the chief's face for no particular reason.
    • The unintentional Funny Background Events such as shirtless neighbors watching the film shoot on camera, and the script girl getting caught on screen as well.
    • The "Assassination Scene", where it looks like a mobster somehow shoots himself in the chest as opposed to the assassin he's firing at.
      Mike: [The assassin] shoots one of the mobsters, the gun stops, one of the assassination targets takes out his gun, fires it, and then shoots himself in the chest. And then they never show the other guy shooting again.
      Jack: The gunman is done shooting at that point and has started running away!
      Mike: He fires his gun, and then shoots himself. And whether or not that was a really unfortunate ricochet, or he just- or just terrible editing.
      Rich: He bought those Australian bullets.
      Mike: ...(Laughs) Boomerang! Ah, you did it! You did it! You made a successful joke.
    • The "Corkboard Scene", where two characters are supposed to be standing in front of a corkboard talking to a crowd. The only indication of there being a crowd is the fake crowd chatter added in post-production. The only thing on the corkboard is a piece of paper with the layout of a building on it that says "Department of Buildings". The camera cuts between two characters talking in front of this same piece of paper, somehow occupying the same space at the same time. The crew loved this scene so much that a corkboard with a replica of the "Department of Buildings" paper appears in the background of Space Cop.
    • The news report scene that seemed to have been filmed by somebody that didn't know how TV cameras worked, because if was actually broadcast the way the frame indicates, the reporter's entire head above her chin would be cut out.
• Best of the Worst: Hologram Man, Faust: Love of the Damned, and Blood Street
  • Knowing how much Rich loves gimmick episodes, Jay introduces a new gimmick: "Absolutely no gimmicks!" Rich doesn't quite trust this "new" direction:
    Jay: Well, Rich, on beautiful VHS, we have Hologram Man!
    Rich: ...And we're going to spin a giant roulette wheel to determine whether or not we watch that?
    Jay: We're just gonna watch it! Just watch it!
    [Rich looks around as if he's waiting for someone to reveal the catch]
  • When Rich reads the back of the box for Hologram Man, the first words out of his mouth are "Slash Gallagher", the name of the main villain, immediately causing Jay to laugh.
    Rich: "He is a mad psycho terrorist."
    Jay: And what is his name?
    Rich: Slash Gallagher. So... he smashes watermelons, with a machete.
    • Mike later says that Slash Gallagher smashes watermelons with a guitar.
  • Hologram Man has so many lapses in Fridge Logic that at one point, Jay asks how the now-holographic protagonist can type on a keyboard, only to resign mid-sentence.
  • Jay attempts to make a joke about the Hologram Man director's name, Richard Pepin, by saying he was the guy from Battlefield Earth, Barry Pepper. Mike points out that the names aren't even remotely similar enough for that to be funny. Then Jack tries to connect the name to "Charlotte Hornets player" Scottie Pippen. Everyone questions why he referred to him as a Charlotte Hornets player (a team he never even played for, by the way), when he's much more well-known as a Chicago Bulls player. After grilling Jack, Mike turns to Rich.
    Mike: Rich, I'm very happy to say, we're sitting on the non-embarrassing side of the table.
    Rich: (Laughs) And you're sitting next to Rich Evans.
  • Mike says that the cops should know to hide behind cover so that they don't get shot by the lunatic with a submachine gun, but they stand out in the open anyway. Rich jokes that they went into the Tactical Get Mowed Down Formation.
  • Mike criticizes how Hologram Man was written in a way that a few changes could have saved it from being a bad movie:
    Mike: There's numerous ways to improve this script. It's like watching a two-year-old draw something. "You're trying to draw the sun. It's a fucking circle!"
  • Mike and Rich both think of Total Recall (1990) when they talk about a character disguising themselves as another character.
    Mike: This side of the table thinks alike. Is that the expression?
    Jack: I don't like this...
    Rich: Stay on your side of the table.
    Jay: We're gonna build a wall.
    Rich: We're gonna build a wall and Jay is gonna pay for it.
  • Jay points out that he and Rich had almost opposite reactions to Faust. Every time Rich looks horrified, Jay looks amazed or even, as Mike jokes, weirdly into it.
  • Faust's opening scene is very melancholic, about the protagonist seeing his wife murdered and being very depressed about it. But when the title is presented, the heavy metal music and flashy opening credits start.
    Mike: These credits do not match the preceding scene.
    Jack: "Wake up, dickheads, it's time for Faust!"
  • Rich guesses that the "M" who gives the main character his powers in Faust is Mephistopheles, but he mispronounces it. Mike asks him to try to say it again, and he gets it right.
    Jack: Take That!, Mike!
    Rich: Are you gonna put a caption of me saying it right?
    • Rich then imagines a scoreboard between him and Mike, with hundreds of points for Mike, and Rich getting his first point.
  • Jack is both utterly horrified and fascinated at the visual of Claire being gruesomely transformed into what he calls "a tit puddle". Jay and Mike theorize they shot the scene when it was meant to be an extreme NC-17 horror film instead of a more palatable R-rated demonic superhero movie, and they only kept it in because there was no way they were not going to use such an expensive and memorable practical effect.
  • An edit points out that a scene where a woman breaks down sobbing after remembering when she was raped as a child by her father and a scene where a demon man fights a giant snake with a laser eye are in the same movie.
  • The Running Gag involving the damage to a woman's uterus in Faust, which includes a Black Comedy Rape joke and Mike casually correcting Rich on the sequence of events that led to said woman's uterus being damaged.
    Jay: Get your uterus destruction facts straight, Rich.
  • Blood Street has a much Darker and Edgier Leo Fong a.k.a. "Low Blow", whose Cowboy Cop antics include casually murdering people in fights he gets into and torturing people for information in broad daylight. One scene in particular has Leo Fong throw a dart into the forehead of a random guy in a bar, when it seems like that guy did absolutely nothing wrong.
    Jay: Oh my god!
    Jack: Stop murdering people!
    Jay: He keeps killing!
    Mike: That guy didn't even do anything.
    Jay: That guy was just playing darts!
    (As Leo Fong is smashing a guy's head against a pool table)
    Jack: No, Leo! Stop! He's already dead!
    Jay: He's a madman!
    Mike: He has some kind of hidden rage.
  • A lot of the Random Events Plot is just masked henchmen barging into a scene, shooting up the place, and randomly leaving off-screen with a Jump Cut to a seemingly unrelated scene. All of that thoroughly confused the crew to the point that Rich left the task of explaining the plot to Jack, who was able to explain the similarly inexplicable Tammy and the T-Rex.
  • In a random flashback, Leo's character's daughter apparently gets beaten to death. Her corpse, however, has no blood or bruises on it, her clothes are perfectly fine, and her arms are spread apart, hands open. Jay likens her pose to the act of planking.
  • Leo Fong's Dull Surprise to a mook shooting up his office, which is compounded by him shooting the mook with a Sawed-Off Shotgun and the mook's partner leaving with a similar reaction.
• Plinketto #6:
  • When Jay meets special guest Simon Barrett.
    Jay: Oh hey, Simon Barrett! You wrote The VVitch! I fucking love that movie! It's so visual and full of subtext, probably the most haunting horror film I've ever seen.
    (Mike whispers into Jay's ear)
    Jay: Oh. Blair Witch.
    (Slide whistle)
  • They become very interested in one of the films on the board, Rollergator. The back of the box promises a rappin' purple baby alligator trying to escape from a ninja on a skateboard. They don't end up landing on it, and there's a failed attempt to retcon the third result into being it when it winds up being Mankillers.
  • Rocktober Blood actually got a crowdfunding campaign for a sequel, where $50 donations (plus $10 shipping) promised people HD Blu-Ray transfers of the original film. The crew watched one of these alleged transfers, and it's actually a poor-quality VHS rip. Simon also brings up a rumor that they used the money to open a barbecue restaurant rather than make the sequel.
    Simon: It was suggested many times on many forums that what had happened was that they were actually running a barbecue restaurant in Florida, and they just used the money to open this barbecue restaurant.
    Jay: This is all allegedly.
    Simon: This is all allegedly, yes.
    Mike: We wouldn't wanna imply fraud.
    Simon: We're only saying-
    Rich: We just wanna demonstrate it.
    Mike: We're just talking about extreme fraud. Criminal fraud, we're just talking about it.
    • After the film ends, a video starts up showing the now elderly creators, Ferd and Beverly Sebastian, and they answer questions about what they've been up to since the film. Given the controversy over the alleged barbecue restaurant scam, the video raises a lot of questions, as Beverly somehow got people boycotting her for a greyhound rescue, with no answers as to why that happened.
      Simon: So we don't know what happened, but then she starts a charity, which the entire segment is basically just shilling for this charity, which may or may not be a wonderful, positive charity.
      Rich: They need to open up a new barbecue restaurant.
      Mike: Oh god... (Jay starts to crack) is that where the greyhounds went?
      Rich: (Laughs) These ribs taste awfully weird.
      Simon: And then you just see them chasing the dog in the parking lot. They're like "I thought, this food, you said it'd be out quickly." And they're like "No no no, it came from something that was very fast."
  • The Pit is described by Jay as being a bizarre contemporary reimagining of Dennis the Menace.
    • When Jamie dumps the wheelchair-bound Ms. Sullivan into the pit to be eaten, the scene ends with a completely unfitting bombastic music sting, causing everyone to laugh.
      Jay: Iris zoom out. (Begins singing the Looney Tunes theme)
    • During the discussion, Simon brings up two obscure movies, Pin and The Reflecting Skin. The references are lost on both Mike and Rich, but Jay knows exactly what he's talking about.
      Simon: Have you seen The Reflecting Skin?
      Jay: Oh, I like that movie.
      Mike: Of course! Of course! He says some weird shit and you say "Of course!"
  • Mankillers is summed up by Rich as being two dozen boobs running around the woods with guns. They also include that even though the film has no real nudity (aside from one scene where one of the actress' breasts pops out of her tank top), it's somehow even sleazier than if it did.
    • They destroy Mankillers by going to Beaver Dam, Wisconsin, where The Pit was originally filmed. After trying and failing to find where the actual pit in the movie was, they throw Mankillers into a dumpster, with the same Looney Tunes-esque music sting as before.
  • Naturally Mike has to give Rich grief over his pick for Best of the Worst.
    Rich: The Pit. By a mile. By a fuckin' mile! Pit's one of the most interesting screenings I've had on Best of the Worst.
    Mike: Interesting is not the most entertaining. The rules say most entertaining-
    Rich: -For any reason. Then that's The Pit.
    Mike: (Acidly) Fine...
    Jay: (Laughs)
• Best of the Worst: Kill Squad, Ryan's Babe, and Demonwarp
  • Jack asks Josh if he's seen Solo, and Josh says he has, proclaiming it as an amazing movie, and saying it's one of his favorite Mario van Peebles movies.
  • Just like the Running Gag of how Jack never got to drop the ball for the longest time on Plinketto, Jay points out that Jack never got to be the host for the table discussion. Jack states that he has before^note He actually had several times in the past, most recently in Plinketto #5, but then stops himself and wonders if he actually had. This was meant to cue Jack to start the discussion, but he "takes too long" and Jay takes over.
  • Kill Squad for its first half hour (to the minute) runs on a strict pattern of someone getting into trouble, getting into a fight with whoever happens to be around (even random bystanders), and then they get recruited by the titular Kill Squad. The crew theorizes that the universe of the film is enforcing this pattern. If something happens that would logically cause events to deviate from the pattern, the universe corrects itself and the pattern is continued.
    • The film's second half hour (again, to the minute) has a different, but similarly strict pattern: go to place to interrogate someone, that person attempts to run away, fight breaks out between Kill Squad and whoever is in the general vicinity, mysterious sniper kills one of the Kill Squad members.
      Rich: Confront, run, kick, snipe, confront, run, kick, snipe, confront, run, kick, snipe.
  • Ryan's Babe ended up being one of the most insane and bizarre screenings to ever happen on the show. It has a cover that doesn't really fit anything besides a raunchy Sex Comedy, but the Random Events Plot is Played for Drama instead, leaving them immensely confused, on top of how bizarre and disconnected the story's direction is. Before the discussion starts, there is a super-cut of every Flat "What" and Big "WHAT?!" moment during the screening, rivaling their reaction to Dangerous Men (verbally, anyway — there's no cushion tossing.)
    • Right off the bat, there's a discussion about the cover:
      Josh: (reading from the DVD box) "Comedy thriller..." (to the camera) The fuck does that mean?!
      Rich: The fuck is a comedy thriller?
      Jay: It should be- it should be: (fingerquotes) ""Comedy"" Thriller.
      Jack: O-or: (fingerquotes) Comedy "Thriller?" I'm pretty sure, like-
      Jay: Whatever- Whatever they describe it as should end in question marks.
    • Rich's explanation of the plot takes so long that it's edited on top of itself. Yes, it approaches Double Down-levels of breaking Rich.
      Rich: And then he drives some more and he meets somebody else and something wacky happens. And then he gets kidnapped by somebody and then he goes somewhere else. And then he gets a job and then three months have gone by. And then he meets a woman and then the woman drugs him and rapes him. And then he's an exotic dancer. And then he goes somewhere else. Then he has lunch. And then he goes somewhere else. Then his stalker has lunch with his mother. And then he goes somewhere else. But at the meantime, he's at the Grand Canyon. And then he goes somewhere else. Aaaaaannd... And then the movie ends.
    • At one point, Josh tries to explain the movie in the sense of acts (specifically, that it felt like the film started in the middle of Act 2), with Rich not only trying to talk him out of it, but then trying to pass the film off to him.
      Rich: Fuck it, you're in charge, man, (picks up DVD; plants it in front of Josh) you-you, fuck it, you deal with it. You deal with that shit, (begins pointing at the DVD) I don't need this in my goddamn life! (Jay and Jack begin breaking) You think I need "Ryan's Babe" in my fucking life?!
      Josh: I do, Rich! You wouldn't shut up about it.
      Rich: You think I wanna explain the Inception flashback within a flashback within a flashback?! (camera zooms in on Rich) YOU THINK I WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT?!
    • The crew give special commendation to whoever did the dubbed voice for the stalker girl's father, managing to combine Hong Kong Dub and Same Language Dub. Jack asks "Is there an Oscar for ADR?"
    • At one point, the ADR is so bad that one characters says another character's line and the responding line in the same scene.
      Jim: I'll have another one, Jim! No more today, Bill! Please escort this gentleman through the door!
      Jay: Wait!
      Josh: Woah!
      Jay: What!?
      Jack: What!?
      Jay: He just said two people's lines!
      Josh: He did.
      (close-up of Rich's look of shock)
    • The group claim that the movie's director, Ray Ramayya (Ph.D), is actually an alien who comes from the same planet as Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen.
    • When describing one sequence of events^note which apparently included Ryan getting a job as a bartender, befriending a prostitute and her child, winning $20,000 and giving it to said prostitute after her husband took her and her daughter hostage off-camera, a situation that ended with the husband killing himself off-screen, Rich interrupts it to point out (with the screen tinting red as he does) "THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF A MINUTE!"
    • The crew makes a note, both during their viewing and discussion, that at no point does the movie give the titular Ryan a destination in this road trip movie.
      Jack: It would be great if he was trying to accomplish something while all this wacky stuff happened to him.
      Jay: Yeah. There's no-
      Rich: "I've got to get here."
      Jay: Right, and then all these wacky complications get in the way, like every road trip movie ever.
      Jack: That's all, you need one line!
      Rich: "I've got to get to my sister's weeeeeeeeedding."
      Jack: He's working at a restaurant!
      Rich: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?
    • The group's reaction to learning what the title Ryan's Babe is referring to, Ryan's crazy Stalker with a Crush.
      Everyone: WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
      Jack: She's Ryan's "babe"?!
      Rich: Of course she's Ryan's "babe" because this movie is BATSHIT CRAZY!!
    • Rich decides at one point to leave the room, and see if something insane will happen as a result. As soon as he does, a pointless police chase starts.
  • Rich comes to the conclusion that Ryan's Babe was made by NASA; they took about 20 different movies and vacu-sealed them, compressing the stories into a single DVD for use in outer space. And if they just add water, it will expand back into 20 complete movies. He then proceeds to pour Josh's drink on the DVD.
    Josh: My booze...
  • Jay compares watching Demonwarp after Ryan's Babe to the Hobbits returning to The Shire after the events of The Return of the King.
    Jay: Nobody around us will understand. We're changed. Some wounds will never heal. [Ryan's Babe] is Mt. Doom, and [Demonwarp] is going back to the little Hobbit community.
  • Josh speculates, because of what Jay said, that the show is reaching a peak.
    Josh: I really feel like, after this and Surviving Edged Weapons, we're really winding down the shows.
    Jay: So what you're saying is this is the last episode of Half in the Bag that we'll ever do...or Best of the Worst, whatever show this is.
    (everyone starts laughing)
    Jack: This is the last episode of Half in the Bag.
    Josh: I'll say it, this is the last episode of Half in the Bag I'm ever gonna be on. I'm done, I quit. ^note Josh hasn't been in a Half in the Bag episode since 2012.
  • When talking about Demonwarp, Rich asks if they've been ruined on Bigfoot movies because of Suburban Sasquatch. Jay pulls his mic in to give a Big "YES!".
    • At one point, the camera pans to the right, and a crew member is in the background of the shot. They're also impossible to ignore, since the background is a dark cave, and the crew member is wearing all white.
    • Jack points out the movie's odd decision to show the lousy zombie costumes in brightly lit close-ups, and Jay contrasts it with Army of Darkness putting their cheapest puppets in the background and the best ones in the foreground.
      Rich: Was there a really good-looking mask in the background? Did they get it completely wrong?
      Jack: "Oh, I was supposed to be up fro-? No one told me! I was in makeup for eight hours!"
• Wheel of the Worst #17
  • One of the tapes on the wheel is "S&M Sweat and Muscle", a dominatrix style workout tape. They immediately laugh when they find out one of the hosts is named Dick the Gimp.
  • "Celebration of Age" turns out to be a new-age hippie video that they end up comparing to "The Dance of Birth".
    • The crew utterly loses it when Rich comments that one of the old women looks like Babe Ruth.
    • The tape begins with a list of influential women from ancient history, which makes the tape resemble some kind of attempt at witchcraft.
    • One of the women is playing the piano, and the music reminds Jim of a Suspiciously Similar Song.
      Jim: (singing) Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me!
      Mike: That's Paul McCartney on the piano.
      Colin: (Liverpool accent) I'm doin' a new song about witchcraft.
      Jim: (Liverpool accent) It's called "Croning".
    • They end up making a load of Star Wars jokes because one of the old ladies reminds them of Kathleen Kennedy and one of the Ireland postcards is of Skellig Michael.
      Rich: Solo was the croning achievement of her career.
      Colin: (laughs) The Crone Wars?
      Mike: The Crone Wars! Dammit!
      Rich: Ooooooh!
      Colin: (Yoda voice) "Begun the Crone Wars has." (laughs) (Obi-Wan voice) "He's got an army of Crones!"
      Mike: Did Paul McCartney say that?
      Colin: No!
      Mike: Oh, was that Obi-Wan Kenobi?
      Colin: That's a bad Obi-Wan.
      Mike: So we have the planet where Luke is hiding and Kathleen Kennedy both in "Celebration of Age".
      Rich: Star Wars: Celebration of Age.
      Mike: (laughs) $185 a ticket for a weekend pass.
      Rich: (laughs) We get to pay to go to Kathleen Kennedy's croning ceremony.
  • "Hug a Tree and Survive Canada" begins with a Magical Native American talking to a group of kids around a campfire.
    Native American: A tree is a safe place to be. And if you're ever lost in the woods, a tree can be your best friend. So, hug a tree.
    Rich: "Give me firewater if you want to hear the end of story." (laughs)
    Jim: (laughs) That's terrible! Can any of this be used?
    Mike: Oh if Rich says it, I'll use it.
    • The boy putting himself in an orange plastic bag with a hole for his face to stick out of.
    • The acting from the parents of the lost boy is so wooden that the crew theorizes that their plan the whole time was to ditch their kid in the woods so they could go to swinger parties.
  • When they land on "Mr. Wiggles Sessions" tape when they were hoping for "World Wide Web of Deceit", it cuts to them watching Mr. Wiggles popping and locking, before cutting back to the wheel and moving it over an inch to land on the desired tape.
  • In "World Wide Web of Deceit", Mike is able to immediately tell that James Robinson is a Christian pastor just by hearing him talk. Sure enough, the entire tape turns out to be a Christian effort to protect people from websites that promote pornography and homosexuality.
    • The crew theorizes that James Robinson's "special guest", Steve Lane, is only pretending to be a former pornography pusher turned Christian minister, because he talks with the exact same cadence as the host, and that his knowledge of sites pushing teen pornography actually comes from him being a stereotypical Pedophile Priest.
    • Steve Lane repeatedly mentions bestiality, particularly dwelling on Beauty with the Beast and Pocahontas and the raccoon, leading the crew to suspect that's his kink. Hilariously, every time Lane mentions bestiality, a terrified horse whinny is dubbed in.
    • James Robinson is speculated by the crew to be a Covert Pervert, since when Steve Lane shows him some pornographic websites, his eyes remain firmly locked on the computer screen, and he comments that the woman doesn't look like a back-alley prostitute, but an attractive actress.
    • Colin mocks the video's warnings about "the gay lifestyle" as vigilance against "homosinuality". Mike, in his typical gadfly fashion, pretends to agree with the video creators and seems to genuinely rile Colin.^note Mike's real opinion is obvious if you watch his reaction when it comes up as they're watching the video.
• Best of the Worst: Night of the Lepus, Zombie 3, Silk
  • The episode is done with an interesting gimmick: All of the movies they watched were HD remasters of older movies, and the episode itself (the intro, viewing, and panel) was shot on 30-year-old videotape camcorders, making it look like it was shot in the 80s. That is until they try to talk about Silk, in which the quality returns so they can properly discuss Neil Breen's Pass Thru. The footage of the viewing is still shot on videotape, though.
  • The first lines of the discussion:
    Jay: ...Well, we tried.
    Rich: Fuck it, I'm just gonna take charge, then...Mike, just because Dr. McCoy is in it, tell us about Night of the Lepus.
    • The panel has an aside of how underutilized the death rattle of a rabbit is in Night of the Lepus:
      Mike: Look, all you people that live in LA and New York! Us midwesterners--
      Jay: We know the death rattle of bunnies!
      Mike: Every now and then, you hear the death rattle of a bunny, when it gets killed by a coyote. Bunnies don't make a sound their whole life, until a coyote gets them, and then they go..."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH", and it's the worst sound you've ever heard in your whole life.
      Josh: Oh god, you're gonna have to cut a real one in here, it's gonna be so awful.
      Mike: I didn't know a bunny could speak!
  • Mike gets impatient hearing Jay talk about Zombie 3, and says "Can we just condense all this talking into three words: Nonsensical Italian Movie."
    • The group are briefly confused about a scene in Zombie 3 of a family driving around in a station wagon, which seems to have nothing to do with the story... then they realize that all four of them were thinking of Night of the Lepus.
      Jay: That was collective dementia! That was all four of us forgetting what movie this happened in! Oh nooo...
  • When they try to discuss Silk, it cuts to a montage of them watching the movie, bored out of their minds, complete with Spinning Clock Hands. At one point Rich just goes around the room looking for alternate tapes to watch, including Wheel of the Worst material like David Carradine's tai chi videos. They end up doing what they've been meaning to do for the last two years: Watching Neil Breen's Pass Thru
    • The movie's DVD itself, in its clear jewel case, was sitting behind a glass case on the wall, before Rich breaks it with a hammer.
    • Jay calls the movie the 60-year-old equivalent of a teacher finding a teenager's weird letter in their locker.
      Josh: This movie will send you to the counselor's office.
    • Josh calling the movie's message "problematically vague", to the point where they're not sure if the movie itself is a manifesto.
    • Rich points out that one of the only takeaways from the movie is that Neil Breen bought a drone, what with all of the obvious drone shots.
    • What they consider to be the best and worst effect of the movie is when it superimposes Breen over a tiger, and it looks fine...until the camera recording of the tiger moved, but he doesn't move and the lighting on him doesn't change.
    • Mike and Josh laboriously pointing out just how ridiculous it is to have multiple scenes showing rich people blatantly talk about the corrupt things they do, followed by Breen pointing out that it's corrupt, and to have said rich people nonchalantly wonder who he is.
      Mike: Literally, rich people, or bad people, have cocktail parties in the same two houses with the same stock footage background. They literally just say what they do that's bad.
      Josh: My favorite thing about that is that the rich people just go like "Who the fuck was that?"
      Mike: After they spilled their guts! They're like "Who was that cracker? Who was that elderly real-estate agent from Las Vegas? He's in our house!"
      Josh: It feels like this is supposed to be like the comeuppance montage where it's just like, "Oh right, that is a bad thing to do to people." None of those people do. They're just like, "Who was that guy?"
      Mike: "Wasn't that the balding elderly real estate agent in Las Vegas who sold me my house last year?"
    • Mike and Josh stressing the point that Breen's character commits genocide by killing 300 million people he doesn't like, including two innocent news anchors that tried to call security on him just so he can broadcast his convoluted manifesto.
    • Mike makes the case that Breen's movies promote less of a specific political ideology and more a form of anarchy, to the point that they worry that he's going to do some serious damage, and jokingly saying that if the president is ever in Las Vegas, the Secret Service should have "eyes on Breen".
      Rich: It's funny now.
  • Since Silk was the first movie they ever stopped watching partway through on Best of the Worst^note As an entire group. Robo-C.H.I.C. was the first movie where a good number of them decided to stop watching partway through., they decide to destroy it in "the most passive way possible", namely by lazily stepping on it and weakly bending it until it broke.
• For their spotlight episode on the Special Effect Failure spectacular Lycan Colony, the panel frequently speculates that the wolf costumes used in the movie were for an existing furry costume the writer/director already had.
  • Mike starts off the episode by pouring himself a glass from a bottle of a craft beer, but the label is blurred out because Mike says it smells and tastes like a port-a-john at a rock concert
  • Rich takes it further, and theorizes that the only reason the movie was made in the first place was because the director's wife found his furry costume, and made it up on the spot.
  • Jack says that the perfect example for the director not knowing how to adapt their vision is a scene where the mom character is meant to look through the keyhole, but since the room had a modern door, instead she puts her eye to the doorknob and looks through a hole that doesn't exist.
  • Josh takes umbrage with one special effect, where instead of giving the actor a temporary tattoo, they superimpose an image of the tattoo on the back of his neck, barely moving when he moves. Jack says that at that point it's just nitpicking.
    • They do the same thing with an inscription on a gold watch. The watch is established to be missing, and the crew immediately thinks that the watch is going to be found later in the movie as a plot point. The watch is then found immediately after it's established when the guy serving them accidentally drops it on the table.
  • Rich says that, out of all of the examples of bad film making to learn from this movie, the one that hits hardest is to never film in day-for-night.
    Rich: If you watch RedLetterMedia for filmmaking tips and advice, that's the one lesson you come away from with this episode; Don't. Shoot. Day-for-night. Ever. Ever.
    Jack: It won't look good and you can't do it.
    Mike: Worst case scenario, get a light, plug it in and shoot it in the woods, turn on your smoke machine, it'll look like garbage, as we've known from all of our films, but it's better than doing day-for-night.
    Rich: They shoot- They shoot interiors here...they're still doing day-for-night!
    Josh: I know.
    Rich: THEY DON'T HAVE TO, IT'S INDOORS!
    • Rich says that he wouldn't put it past this movie to try and pull off night-for-day. Cut to an edited scene from the movie that was actually shot at night, but then given a yellow filter over everything and a drawing of the sun pasted in the corner.
  • The heroine of the movie is named Russ because the role was originally meant for a man. The man never showed up, and the role was given to a woman, but they didn't feel like editing the script at all, resulting in her having a man's name.
  • At one point, Dr. Dan yells "awesome" so loud that the audio clips and he's cut off, resulting in him yelling "AWESO-" with a mouth full of steak.
  • Then there's the server's Narm Charm bellowing of "misss-TAKE!"
  • Mike's attempt at a Hurricane of Puns revolving around bears that don't work since they're watching a movie about werewolves.
    Josh: No, it's barely a movie.
    Mike: It's...wolfly a movie?
    Jack: Oh, cause bear?
    Mike: Yeah, I, eh...
    Rich: You just pick anything that lives in the woods and you think that's gonna be a pun?
    Mike: I'm scraping at the bottom of the barrel.
    Jack: The wolfrel?
    Mike: The rolfrrrrrel!
    Jack: (laughs)
    Mike: The puns that are in my brain, it was operated on by Dr. Dan!
    Josh: Ah, there it is!
    Rich: If only this were a bear movie. You'd be fine, you'd be golden.
    Mike: All my puns would be unbearablllllllllllle.
    Jack: Mike, let me paws you for a second.
    Mike: Paws!?
    Jack: So we can continue talking about the wolf movie! I thought that was a better one.
    Rich: At least that one was appropriate.
    Jack: Yeah, y'know. It took me a while to think of it while Mike was blathering.
    Mike: Lycan Colon-y? Cause it's shitty!?
    (Rich laughs, while Jack nearly does a Spit Take)
    Josh: Oh, you got him with that one! Wow!
    Mike: I always got a secret weapon up my sleeve.
    Rich: That one worked! ...I give that pun a canine out of ten!
    (Mike nearly does a Spit Take)
  • At one point in the movie, the actors are reading their lines off of cue cards that are visible to the audience, and the lines aren't even read right, with gems such as "Why can't us?" and saying small doses of silver have "municipal purposes".
    Josh: This is when all the exposition happens, in an off-camera cue card way, which we can actually see.
    Rich: With some hilarious mispronunciations.
    Mike: Yes, there are several of those.
    Rich: And I'm Rich Evans.
  • Jack lays bare the director's motivation:
    Jack: This is where we learn all about the werewolf lore; this is where the director and the writer Rob Roy was just really stroking it, having a great time. [Rich face-palms; everyone else looks at Jack funny] They come from an ancient, uh... Are you telling me he wasn't?
  • During the film's climax, the background switches to a greenscreened day-for-night forest, and the greenscreen has a very obvious hole in it.
  • Near the end of the review, an actual cricket finds its way into the room and begins chirping after one of their jokes.
• The 2018 Halloween Special (Carnivore, Hauntedween and Black Roses) continues the tradition of Halloween being the episode where everyone drinks... a lot.
  • The house in Carnivore is referred to as the Romero house, prompting some eyerolling from the crew.
    Jay: Tip to low-budget horror film makers; Don't do that.
    Mike: Never, ever do that.
    Rich: You have to explain that.
    Mike: They're paying homage to 17th century Mexican artist José Romero.
    Jay: Oh. Is that what it is?
    Mike: Yeah. What did you guys think it was?
    Jack: Very subtle.
    Rich: It's right next to the Savini house.
    Mike: Yeah, right.
    Rich: The 17th century French impressionist painter.
    Jay: (Laughs)
    Mike: So many references we mistakenly interpret as horror nods.
  • When discussing how to cut down the extensive Padding in Carnivore, Mike states that the only way to make the movie good is to cut every scene.
    • The panel somehow gets into an impassioned argument about what is the best wall in the haunted house: the simple and obviously fake wall with a cheap exposed brick decal or the higher production wall with lights shining through the boards. The discussion goes on for a good 5 minutes.
      Jack: This is classic Team Brick-Wall gaslighting! You're just steamrolling over the important facts to support your narrative!
    • The group's sheer joy at the realization that the female FBI agent was clearly not on set for a number of scenes and was replaced by someone in a wig, necessitating the character to pointedly face away from the camera or even fall asleep in the middle of a scene. Rich speculates it was because the actress was in a Crest toothpaste commercial and was thus too big a star for the film to afford.
    • The group extensive attempt to figure out if the secret laboratory was built beneath an existing haunted house or just bought one to put on top... which then leads to the logistical question of why they would build a lab there in the first place.
  • The gang has two other lengthy discussions on the name of HauntedWeen's villain, Eddie Berber. Mike suggests several more appropriate businesses for the Berber name than "haunted house" - "Berber PVC Piping", "Berber Autoglass", etc. He eventually settles on "Berber Family Air Conditioning and Ductwork", because of the unusual amount of air vents in the family's rural house.
  • After their discussion of Carnivore ends, Jay pours everyone but Rich shots. Cut to 30 minutes later, everyone but Rich is completely wasted and for some reason Mike starts talking about Jay murdering cats.
    Rich: (talking into his mic) This was a bad idea. A very bad idea.
    Mike: Remember when you murdered cats? Goodnight, sweet cats!
    Rich: (talking into his mic) Who-who brought the fucking shot glasses?
    (an arrow points to Jay)
    Jay: I thought this would be funny, it turns out it's a terrible idea! I never murdered cats, Mike.
    Jack: You grew up on a farm, you get a lot of cats, sometimes the cats gotta go down.
    Jay: Why are you doing this to me?!
    Mike: Goodnight, sweet cats...
    Jay: All you're doing is making this harder and harder!
    Mike: Meow, meo-aaaaagh!
    Jay: (breaks down laughing)
    Mike: When Jay dies and he reaches the Pearly Gates, there's thousands and thousands of cats...
    Jack: Cats don't have souls, that's not a problem...
    Mike: Yes, they do! And they have worms coming out their ears...
    Jay: (keeps laughing)
    Jack: That's dogs, and they don't—
    Mike: Meow, welcome Jay!
    Jay: I'VE NEVER KILLED A CAT!
    • Jay and Mike are very noticeably drunk during this brief segment. Both keep slurring their words, Mike especially, Jay reacts too strongly to what's around him while he's struggling to keep the discussion on track, and Mike decides to randomly lay down on the floor at one point.
      (As Rich cracks up at the drunken antics of the rest of the crew.)
      Jay: What the fuck is happening?! Why is Rich freaking out?!
      Josh: He's not.
    • While the discussion was derailing, Jay invites Josh to replace Mike in attempt to bring back any semblance of order. It doesn't work.
    • This leads to a first for the show, where the panelists (except Rich) became too drunk to continue, and came back two days later to finish their discussion. After the "2 Days Later" card, the panel is shown drinking nothing but bottled water.
    • As several YouTube comments point out, Rich has shaved his beard in the interim, as if to deliberately thwart any attempt to fix things in editing.
  • Jay says that Hauntedween was filmed in Kentucky, Tennessee.
    Jay: "Filmed in Kentucky, Tennessee."
    Mike: Ohh...wait. Kentucky is a state, and so is Tennessee.
    Jay: But there could be a Kentucky in Tennessee. Oh no, wait. "Filmed in Kentucky, Tennessee, and at Western Kentucky University."
    Mike: ...Well that's staying in.
    Jay and Rich: (Laughs)
    Mike: Jay failed geography in grade school.
    Jay: I just read the thing!
  • When reading the description for Black Roses, Mike compares the rockstar on the back to Slade Kraven.
    Jay: What was the rock guy from Trick or Treat? Sammi Curr!
    Mike: Wow. Have you got like a photographic memory or something?
    Jay: Only when it comes to shitty heavy metal horror films.
    Mike: Right. Cause you don't remember what our states are. But you remember Sammi Curr.
    Jay: (laughs) The important things.
    • invoked Mike notes that the Idiot Plot of Black Roses depends on no word travelling of this popular rock band creating zombies and destroying every town they visit, but jokes that it might work if it was set in the 1890s and the band was racing the Pony Express to get ahead of the news.
    • The Dawson Casting of the movie's teens leads Rich to speculate that one of the classrooms is just a PTA meeting where the parents are roleplaying to try to feel young.
• The second Black Spine Edition has friend of RLM Tim Higgins as a guest. While Jay says they'll be doing a normal episode with three movies, Rich, dressed as and acting like a butler, calls them into the adjacent room. Inside, Mike, dressed up as a magician and putting on a theatrical voice, pulls back a curtain to reveal an entire wall of black spine tapes.
  • The panel jokes that the old woman in the table etiquette video was training little kids because they transferred old people's brains into new younger bodies.
  • While their third tape was attempting to be a badass self-defense training video, their attempts to show those same moves step by step and very slowly made it look...awkward at best.
    Rich: [after a long, straight-faced discussion] ....I thought it looked kinda like gay sex. [the entire table bursts out laughing]
• Plinketto #7: Prototype X29A, Quigley, and Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House, featuring special guest Macaulay Culkin.
  • The Plinketto board was stacked with films they knew would be funny to watch, but Prototype X29A was an extra film they weren't sure about put on by Mike. After they ended up landing on it, Mike shifts the blame to Rich since he's the one who dropped the ball.
    • The protagonist in Prototype X29A is named Hawkins Coselow, which they mock for sounding way too close to "coleslaw".
    • The titular Prototype robot uses a rifle, but because the robot suit is so bulky and constrictive, he can't fire it straight. He can neither turn his head nor aim the gun in front of him, leading to him firing it sideways while still looking forward. Jay ends up comparing it to the suit in the early Batman films where he couldn't actually move his neck.
  • The crew is perplexed by the idea of Quigley, a Christian children's film about a man turned into a Pomeranian... starring Gary Busey.
    Rich: This is a family film.
    Jay: It is a film about family, as we discover.
    Rich: Starring Gary Busey, for some reason.
    Jay: Look, the kids, Rich, the kids love Gary Busey.
    Macaulay Culkin: Kids love Gary Busey.
    Jay: There's Mr. Rogers, and Gary Busey.
    Mike: They call him Scary Busey.
    Jay: (Laughs) "Why's that man keep having seizures? What's he doing?"
    Mike: "He's drunk like daddy!"
    Macaulay Culkin: "He looks like how daddy smells!"
    • There is a scene in which the Pomeranian is meant to be pushing a chair, but at the edge of the frame, you can see that it's being pulled by a crew member. Not only is his hand visible, but you can even see his reflection on a wall.
    • The crew comes up with a lot of theories on the filming of this movie, including that the entire premise of Gary Busey being a dog was retconned in because Gary was filming all of his scenes on all-fours, which he wasn't supposed to do, that Gary Busey wasn't aware this was a Talking Animal movie and that him saying "Am I a talking dog?" in the movie was his genuine reaction, and they also theorize that most of the film's budget went into people helping Gary Busey out of bushes he falls into and generally trying to contain his insanity.
      Rich: "Gary, if we don't put you back in [the cage], you wander away and we can't find you."
      (Macaulay Culkin begins digging at the table)
      Rich: "Are you trying to dig your way out? Gary, it's concrete."
      Mike: (Laughs) Are you the production assistant girl with the clipboard? "Gary?"
      Rich: "Mr. Busey, that's concrete, you can't dig out."
      Macaulay Culkin: "Shut up! Wait, I'm a dog!"
      Mike: Like half the credits were "assistant to Mr. Busey"? Like thousands of people, like the end of a Marvel Avengers movie.
      Jay: Yeah, all the special effects people, except it's just people pulling Gary Busey out of bushes.
      Rich: Half of them are, like, "Doctor".
  • There's a Running Gag that since Macaulay Culkin chose Home Alone 4 (despite it not being on the board), he finds it incredibly good, to the point of chastising Rich for not liking it
    (Rich loudly groans at a slapstick gag, causing everyone to laugh)
    Josh: You're ready for the rest of the movie, Rich!
    Mike: It's just starting...
    Macaulay Culkin: (gets up and points at Rich) You better start laughing! This is comedy fucking gold! (points to screen) This is fucking gold right here! John Hughes created these characters, alright?! You're disrespecting Mr. John Hughes! Every time there's a joke I'm going to look at you! I'm going to look right at you and point!
    (another slapstick gag happens; Culkin stares intensely at Rich)
    Rich: (forced) Ah, haaaaa, haaaaa, ah, haaaa...
  • The observation that Kevin didn't call the cops, even though he really had every opportunity to, leads the crew to psychoanalyse Kevin and Marv:
    Rich: You know what? Kevin didn't call the cops because he's really just out for blood.
    Macaulay Culkin: Yeah.
    Rich: He's really a sadist.
    Mike: Yeah, he's out for revenge.
    Rich: No, I really think he just likes hurting people.
    Mike: Oh! Okay.
    (cut to a scene of Kevin tormenting Marv and his girlfriend, and laughing manically at it)
    Jay: It's a... symbiotic relationship, right?
    Mike: Yes.
    Culkin: Mm-hm.
    Jay: He needs Marv, and Marv needs him.
    Culkin: Mm-hm.
    [...]
    Rich: You see, Marv is secretly into masochism.
    Jay: Okay. Alright. He loves getting his genitals mutilated.
    Culkin: (laughs) Yeah.
    Rich: He does! That's why he keeps coming back for more.
    Mike: He loves the grappling hook to the balls.
    Jay: Is it just pain in general or specifically to his groin?
    Rich: (laughs) Pain in general, but—
    Culkin: I think the answer to both of those are "Yes!"
    Rich: Yes!
    Mike: I think the scary part is that it is pain inflicted by a nine-year-old boy.
    Jay: Oh! That's an important factor! It's not just pain.
    Mike: Just a detail that helps.
    Rich: That's vital! That's vital!
    Culkin (as Marv): We need each other!
    Jay: A nine-year-old that a year prior was a ten-year-old. He keeps de-aging.
    Mike: Yeah, he's got Benjamin Button syndrome. [...] Eventually, he will be, like, an infant.
    (everyone laughs)
    Mike (as Marv): (groans) Kevin! Hurt me!
    Jay: He'll be smacking Marv in the dick with, like, a rattle!
    (everyone laughs)
    Mike (as Marv): Throw your bottle at my crotch! (groans)
  • Finally, the time comes to pick the Best of the Worst:
    Rich: It has to be Quigley!
    (awkward silence; Macaulay Culkin gives Rich a Death Glare)
    Rich: (nervously) Home... Alone? (cautiously places his hand on the tape)
    (Macaulay Culkin holds the stare a little while longer, then smiles and nods)
    Mike: Home Alone? Good choice.
    Jay: Yeah. I was gonna say Quigley...
    (Culkin gives Jay a death glare)
    Jay: ...Not for Best of the Worst! I was gonna go with Home Alone: Taking Back the House. Of course. Yeah.
    Culkin: (smiles warmly) That's a really good choice! You have good taste.
    Jay: Thank you.
    Culkin: Mike?
    Mike: My choice is... (looks at Culkin) I'm sorry, Prototype X29A.
    Rich: Oh, fuck you! (laughs)
    (Culkin stares at Mike and takes a deep breath)
    Mike: Ummm...
    Culkin: No, okay. Fine. You can live with that... I'm picking Quigley. That shit's hilarious!
    (everyone laughs)
    Rich: This episode is a SHAM!
• Best of the Worst: Christmas or Cats, featuring Two Front Teeth, Uninvited and Christy.
  • The actor playing Santa in Two Front Teeth is clearly far too young.
    Rich: They needed to find the old man who looks just like a real life Santa Claus.
    (Mike points at Christy)
    Josh: He was busy.
  • Mike speculates that the ninja nuns in Two Front Teeth were played by porn stars, but the rest of the crew takes issue with this since the movie was filmed in Maryland.
    Mike: I'm speculating, they may not have been porn stars.
    Josh: Is there regional Maryland porn?
    Jay: (Laughs)
    Rich: "She's big in the Maryland porn scene!"
    Jay: I'd just like to hear the accents when they're goin' at it.
    Josh: (Laughs)
    Rich: "I got this one hot movie where she covered her breasts in clam chowder!"
  • Jay tries to have Mike cover Uninvited, but passes it over to Rich.
    Jay: So the next film that we watched was Uninvited, this was the only cat film. And, Mike?
    Mike: I was gonna hand it off to Rich. One, cause he loves cats. And-
    Rich: You know, I don't want to talk about Christy. Just, y'know, fuck it.
    Jay: Hey, what is this!? What is this!?
    Rich: Mutiny! Mutiny!
    Jay: What is this mutiny!? What is happening here?
    Rich: You know what I'm gonna say about Christy? It was awful and confusing. That's all I'm gonna say.
    Josh: If you've got more to say-
    Rich: Because Uninvited is delightful.
    Mike: And Rich, you're very familiar with the term "uninvited". (Rimshot)
    Jay: (Laughs)
    Josh: This is why he wanted to do this. This is why he's doing the other video.
    Jay: Was it for that one joke?
    Mike: YES!
    Jay: Well, I'm gonna say it was worth it.
    Mike: Thank you!
  • The sound design in the movie is hilariously repetitive. The cat meows constantly with the same meow sound effects over and over again, and at one point when a truck tumbles over a cliff, it plays the same glass breaking sound effect over and over again, sometimes interrupting itself.
  • The sheer incompetence of Christy is shown on the front cover. Not only is the image of the reindeer horribly blurry, but the text of the title is too, which, as Mike explains, is really hard to mess up.
    Mike: Text is usually vector-based, which means you can blow it up or shrink it without losing resolution, and when they screw text up, it usually means they had an image of text, and then blew that up, which means they had no idea what they're doing.
  • The various examples of Special Effect Failure in the film. Their attempt at an aerial shot of Santa's village was to haphazardly place some miniature cottages into the snow and film that. Also, instead of using a greenscreen or a bluescreen, they used a white background, and since Santa wears a white-trimmed outfit, he's always partially transparent.
    Rich: This would have wowed them in, like 1908. In the era where people were afraid the train would hit them, these effects would have killed.
  • At one point in Christy, Mike just starts laughing for no reason and can't stop.
    Rich: You were laughing that it was that inept.
    Mike: No! I was just laughing like a person in a straightjacket would laugh. There was no context, I was just like "Aaaah, my brain stopped working."
  • Jay makes a point to mention that the songs in Christy were done by Frank Woehrle, who had appeared in Red Letter Media years prior via footage from "Sing Along With Frank Woehlre" in episode 9 of Half in the Bag, with Jay in particular referencing how Mike had smashed the tape with a hammer. It's also worth mentioning that all these years later, they still had that tape.
  • Christy is so weird and incomprehensible that Rich asks if it aired on [adult swim] at 4 AM.

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