Funny / Benzaie

In General

• A French Lesson, presented by Froggie McFaggot. And it just keeps going from there; it's just so offensive, you can't be offended.
• Benzaie discovering the ability to drop people's pants in his IK+ review. Which he winds up using on Angry Joe, Linkara, MarzGurl and Nostalgia Critic accidentally.
  • INCOMING MINDFUCK!
• Benzaie's Let's Play of Heavy Rain is shaping up to be this.
  Kid: "It's not my fault that Jason is gone! It's not my fault!"
  Benzaie: "Why you little..." * Mortal Kombat theme starts playing*
• Rapelay:
  Benzaie's girlfriend : What are you doing ?!
  Benzaie (naked, hiding his penis behind a computer screen) : I was just waiting for you, baby!
  Benzaie's girlfriend : You know, mom is here...
  Benzaie, pulling his thumb up : Then I guess it's my lucky day !
• 3D Custom Girl review: after telling us the game has an auto-mode, Benzaie show us all the wonderful things you can do with your hands while it automatically plays... like eating your breakfast. His girlfriend's desperate look as he's gleefully watching his hentai game is just hilarious.
  • There's also "Let's Fap to MarzGurl with Marzgurl", in which he used the program to create a hentai avatar of Marzgurl... while Skyping with her and with her giving the details about how the avatar would look.
• Let's Fap Immoral Study. Reiko. The manliest voice imaginable. Hilarity Ensues.
  • There is no embarrassment in the search of truth! Open wider!
  • Hell, most if not all of the dialogue in that game is So Bad It's Hilarious.
• Immoral Study 2... Starring Christopher Lee (and later Kermit The Frog) as the professor and Miss Piggy as Yuka!

  • And Alice Cooper as the Narrator!

  • "He's the James Bond of rapists!"
  • "My name is "Professor" after all. Hitosuji is just my last name. But on my license card, it says "Professor". So my name, my full name, is professor Professor Hitosuji."
  • After Benzaie spent two videos griping over how the "protagonist" is, well, a douche, this happens:
  Hitosuji: Let's start studying a little biology. Now, spread your legs for me.
  Yuka: Huh?!
  Hitosuji (thinking): All right, it's working, it's working!
  • "Even I, Master Bate, is feeling bad about this bastard."
  • The one line you never would have thought you'd hear in a video about a Hentai game: "There's no way we can fight Sauron." It Makes Sense in Context.
  • "Erection, I choose you!!"
    • Pervert used Piston! It's Super Effective!
  • Hitosuji bouncing back and forth between Purple Prose and using words like "fleshmaster" and "spamhammer".
  • Kingdom Cum.
  • "Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?"
  • "If only I had some bread!"
  • This:
  Benzaie (reading Yuka's moaning in total monotone): "Ooh, aah, ahh, ahh, ooh, eeh, ooh, aah-aah, bing, bing, walla-walla..."
  • Benzaie's amazement at the possibility of Coitus Uninterruptus.
• From Do You Like Horny Bunnies, Screaming Mantis' snark:
  Benzaie (narrating): "I open her legs and put the tip of my cock on her. She happily smiles and says,"
  Mantis: Just the tip?
  • Benzaie constantly asks Mantis to imitate certain characters from other works, which is hilarious in itself (especially when he asked her to do a Miss Piggy voice). One bit in Part 2 had him ask her to do the most dorky voice possible, and described said voice as 'Imagine you're a screaming Pokemon fan'. This led to an awkward silence (as Mantis is a Pokemon fan), and Benzaie had to quickly add 'Who's fourteen'.
• X-Change. The triumphant return of Kermit the Frog.
  • Also, Benzaie interprets the main character saying "my voice changed" to mean "my voice got really deep" rather than "my voice got as female as my body". Hilarity Ensues.
  • More specifically, it sounds like Christian Bale as Batman.
  • "I reach into her panties, touching the treasure inside. Yarr!"
  • Then Beary narrates the near end of the playthrough: "Should I really be reading this? I'm two years old!"
  • *Wild Pokemon music* A giant Hard Cock appeared! *more battle music* Its not very effective...
  • All the Boss Nass and Chewbacca noises he keeps making during the review for the sake of Fan Disservice are hilarious!
  • KHAAAN!!!
• 3D Real Girlfriend. Where Master Bate kindly takes the time to interpret what he thinks the anime babes are saying in Japanese.
  "It's nice to be out of the kitchen for once!"
  "My vag itches, can you sweep my chimney?"
  • Beary trying to use the webcam option on the game.
  "It doesn't work! How do I get this bitch to blow me?!"
  • After telling us you can use two computer mice to play this game :
  "So you can finally use both hands playing a hentai game!" *beat* "Wait, do we really want that ?
• TGWTG Does Benzaie. Benzaie got really drunk and fell asleep while everyone was partying. So they held an impromptu Roast of Benzaie, complete with lots and lots of impressions and Benzaie-isms.
• From Welshy's AniNite 2011 VLog: Him getting electrocuted by a fence (which everybody thought he was getting sexually exited by the panda inside the fence) and him scaring a lioness by doing the Gay Benzaie dance to her.
  • Also, his girlfriend having the same "Waddafuk? Dees ees boo-sheet!" reaction as him when she discovers there are no towels after a artistic experiment in an Austrian Museum.
• His breaking into Marion (his girlfriend's) house while still in character as Conan, for the advertisement for her SuburbanKnights artwork
  Marion: Conan, what are you doing in my living room?
  Benzai: I was looking for Suburban Knights artwork, especially ones with me in them. But all I can find are these pictures of the sexy robot chick from Game Fap.
  Marion: Is that why you broke my window?
  Benzai: I didn't break it. I just threw a cat through the window. He's the one to blame.
• From his Gamefap review of Box Hako, we have the reveal, at the very last second of the video, that his mental breakdown over the game's surreal ending is actually a scam for getting a blowjob from his girlfriend. Master Bate, you truly deserve your title.
• Let's Meow Meow: "A doll never moves by itself. That's a fact."
  • Spoony's interpretation of the Cat God getting angry:
    Spoony!Cat God (high-pitched, screechy voice): "I told meyou that I am the almighty Cat God! There is nothing that is impossible for meow! Do not (switches to low, growly voice) question me!" (Beat) Kneel Before Zod...
  • Benzaie lampshading the Excuse Plot:
    Benzaie: The Cat just comes here, like "You take good care of cats, you want world domination?".
  • After the protagonist makes his wish, a cat girl:
    Spoony!Cat God: Really? I offer you world domination...
    Benzaie: Which includes, you know, all the chicks in the world.
  • Spoony's exaggeration of Nanami's Mood Whiplash:
    Benzaie!Ibuki:"Hey... did I offend you?"
    Spoony!Nanami: (normally) "No... (really shocked) oh, hey! We're going to be late for school!"
    Benzaie (narrating): "She looks at her watch and shouts all of a sudden."
    Spoony: (stiffly mimes looking at his watch and shrieks like a madman) Aaargh!
    Benzaie!Ibuki: "Then go now! I don't have any classes this morning!"
    Spoony!Nanami: (cheerfully) Okay, then. See you later!
  • Ask a Stupid Question...:
    Benzaie!Ibuki: (narrating) I hear a cat's meow. (out loud) "Oh ,is there a cat here?"
    Spoony: No, it's a moose.
  • Giving Ibuki's boss the voice of Miss Piggy.
  • Spoony being left by himself when Benzaie goes to the bathroom and not being able to get through the game due to embarrassment at all the sex scenes.
  • One of the sex scenes manages to time the Player Character's orgasm perfectly with the battery on Benzaie's computer running out, so the computer has to reboot. Spoony reacts by screaming like he's been stabbed, followed by gasping out a "I came so hard it crashed the computer..."
• The entirety of the Computer & Spaceman short film. It's a Space Opera about a lonely Spaceman who goes through space making hamburgers out of every alien species he encounters. Computer, his only friend, is psychotic.
• The Misfits interrupting "Top 5 Brutal Murder Attempts in Jem and the Holograms" to talk about evil acts other people (including Jem!) performed. Pizzazz (a scenery-chewing Elisa Hansen) in particular steals the show.
• Benzaie tries Real Mana Potion.
• His [[Creator//Doug Walker 5-second]] games videos are comedy gold.
  • Metroid: Other M in 5 seconds: Benzaie is afraid to even move Samus, and as soon as he gets her at the door, doing so triggers a cutscene, followed by his voiceover and a loud "FUCK!" on his part.
  • Portal 2 in 5 seconds: he opens his eyes after taking a nap, grabs his glasses and says, "I think I've got this!"; then he starts playing the game on his PC, but as soon as he reaches the end of the level the game randomly closes itself for no reason. His response is a psychotic Stepfordish Smile as he throws away his keyboard in frustration.
• His French-speaking videos are just as funny:
  • His "Nintendo 3DS in 5 seconds" has him playing with the console as if he was starring in an advertisement, having fun and all. As soon as he comes back home, the music stops, and he does what's to be expected during the handheld's less-than-stellar launch period: he throws it away, grabs a DSi XL and sighs in relief as soon as the New Super Mario Bros. theme starts playing.

Hard Corner

• Benzaie starts daydreaming at the end of the Rambo video game episode, and starts imagining new scenes for the movies...
  Rimbaud: Please, Verlaine, go softly between my butt cheeks!
  Benzaie: Whoa, stop! That's not good!
  Rambo: Oh yes, Colonel, go hard between my butt cheeks!
  Benzaie: That's better!
• The "Minecraft toys" episode:
  • It starts with him living in the snowy streets of Finland after his store burned. He tries to sell his merchandise to a passerby and, as usual, pulls out a video tape showcasing said products.
    Passerby: Wait, how are you going to...
    Benzaie: [Slams the tape into a slit carved in a mound of snow]
    Passerby: And here I was, expecting something logical...
  • For making a quick buck, he also tells the passerby that he can have sex with his wife if he wants. Said wife is actually a vaguely ass-shaped mound of snow with a hole in it. Which somehow blurts out Mario's "Here we go!" line.
• During the "Street Fighter american cartoon" episode, he takes a few moments for talking about the japanese OAV, and how the famous shower scene instantly made him hit puberty. This is shown by a flashback of kid Benzaie watching said scene and evolving into grown-up Benzaie. Complete with the "what? X is evolving!" theme playing.
  • He then instantly looks in his pants... And calmly states that "it" maybe comes later.
• His "The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt collector edition" episode is a collaboration with le Fossoyeur de Films, a french youtuber specializing in cinema. At one point, the soundtrack is actually provided by a woman singing, hidden in the bushes. Fossoyeur suddenly turns in front of the camera and starts explaining the whole concept of "inside and outside soundtrack". Benzaie is forced to break character to bring him back in tracks.
• "Mortal Kombat X kollector edition":
  • At one point during this episode, he's so impressed by the quality of said edition that he decides to call it a "Kollector Karrément Klasse". Suddenly realizing this is a bad idea, he changes his mind and calls it... a "Kollector Karrément Kool".
  • This video is also a collaboration with Seb from Joueur du Grenier. At one point, Seb tries to emulate the "Test your might" minigame on the game box... Only for Benzaie to break character (again) and yell at him, as he's supposed to actually resell the game afterwards.
• After a slew of disappointing gadgets sold in the Dragon Age: Inquisition collector edition, Benzaie suddenly runs into a well-made, bound with leather short book. Excited, he opens it... And realizes it's just a notebook. This shocks him so hard he actually passes out in the middle of his review.
• His "Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain collector edition" starts with a parody of the game's opening. A parody that's 1) filled to the brim with mentions of "Benjamin Daniel" (Benzaie's real name), to the point of consisting of nothing else but BENJAMIN DANIEL plastered everywhere on the screen after a while 2) so long that it cuts Benzaie's attempts to start the review twice.
  • Sad Panda makes a cameo, and unleashes a barrage of atrocious puns whenever he can. The puns are so bad that Benzaie is forced to break character (YET again) for berating him on it, and saying that it's the reason he doesn't have many subscribers.
  • Immediately afterwards, Sad Panda retaliates by turning Benzaie's own "Mario says no" running gag against him and disturbing the review. Benzaie is not amused.
  • During the entire review, Sad Panda cosplays as the main character of the game, notably by using the bionic arm goodie sold with the collector edition of the game. Said bionic arm is at a scale of 1:2, so during the entire review, SadPanda has this ridiculously small hand poking out of his sleeve.
• The Dark Souls 3 episode has a cameo of Bob Lennon, who's playing a customer who wants to buy the game. Unfortunately, as this is Dark Souls we're talking about, he just keeps on dying all throughout the episode by stupid means (such as hitting his forehead on a desk, or simply going to the bathroom).
  • The running gag of everybody rolling on the ground for no particular reason. Hey, this pretty much is the number one tactic for surviving in a Dark Souls game...
  • At one point, Bob Lennon drinks from a flask for recovering. He then tells Benzaie that it can help him if he only has one testicle. Benzaie immediately downs the flask.
  Benzaie : By the way, how did you know about... ?
  Bob : I didn't.
  • The game Benzaie is playing and that he claims is more hardcore than Dark Souls 3? A Dora the Explorer educational game. He throws the controller in frustration when he has to count frogs in a picture.
• The Nvidia Shield episode.
  Benzaie: But why playing these games when you have... DOOM!!! DOOOOOM!!! FUCKING DOOM!!! MOTHERFUCKING DOOOOM!!! DOOM IN YOUR BED!!! DOOM ON THE CRAPPER!!!
  • "Yes, I have an emotional emptiness that I fill with video games, got it? Shut up! Really!"
• The 5 year anniversary video : Benzaie is invited in Hollywood during the shooting of a movie about his life. Or rather, a PORN movie vaguely based on his life. What follows are 15 minutes of Benzaie being completely clueless about what's going on, Manuel Ferrara (real life porn director and actor)'s extremely hammy acting, and cameos by pornstars Kayden Kross and Steve Holmes.
  • Steve Holmes tells Benzaie an anecdote where he and a fellow actor put on fluorescent condoms and had a "lightsaber" duel, where the winner would sodomize the loser. Afterwards, he still rejects Benzaie's goodbye embrace, claiming that he's "not gay".
  • Benzaie is briefly seen drinking from a fleshlight. Sure, it was emptied of the... "Significant" bits, but still...

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