Funny / Assassin's Creed Syndicate

Unmarked spoilers below.

---

• A minor point, but the One-Steve Limit is thoroughly defied with a man named Charles whose last name begins with a D and a man named Charles whose last name begins with a D.
• The final Queen Victoria mission, where Jacob and Evie part ways with the Queen:
  Queen Victoria: You have honored us with your loyalty and your courage. Long may we so strengthen the Empire together.
  Jacob Frye: Your majesty! We will always work to ensure the safety of the people...
  Evie Frye: But with the greatest respect, our philosophy forbids us from assisting with the expansion of the Empire. Perhaps ma'am you could consider putting an end to your imperialist desires?
  Queen Victoria: I understand and respect your position, bound as you are by your creed.
  • The earnestness of Evie's tone and expression followed by Jacob's stunned Flat "What" is what sells it. The Queen's bemused and sarcastic response is also hilarious. After Queen Victoria and Disraeli leave in an awkward silence, Jacob slips in one last quip:
    Jacob Frye: I don't suppose you'll be offered any more cake. (Evie walks off in a huff).
• Once again, Shaun is responsible for writing the database. And once again, it is hilarious.
  Historical records document a scandal that took place in [St. Mary Matfelton] church around 1710. I know! A scandal in a church! Whatever next! Anyway, it seems like the rector of the church set up an altarpiece depicting The Last Supper, and had the figure of Judas made to look exactly like a personal enemy of his, the Dean of Peterborough. As far as passive aggression goes, I'd say that's pretty aggressive. It's also bloody brilliant.
• But it gets better! Occasionally, Rebecca puts in her two cents.
  Shaun: I am your humble databse scribe. A wordsmith. My name is Shaun Hastings, and I'm an Assassin, like you, though a little better. And like most of you, I wasn't born into it. I wasn't raised to join the Brotherhood. As a brash, inquisitive, and dare I say it, handsome young lad, I was obsessed with conspiracy theories and the unexplained. I started digging into the nasty bits of Abstergo Industries, of which there are legion, and attempted to play the whistleblower. Freedom of information! Huzzah! But all that got me was an appointment with a Templar death squad.
  Rebecca: (Translation: Shaun found a millennia-old conspiracy that reached to the highest levels of power imaginable and thought the best idea ever would be to shout and wave at it. -RC)
  • Another one in the database where Rebecca laments that the Assassins are still a Brotherhood and don't have a gender-neutral phrase:
    Rebecca: I'd be grateful if we could come up with a new term for us that isn't "Brotherhood." Tens of thousands of years fighting for progressive and free thought, and we're still stuck with that?
  • And this entry from Darwin's database:
    By the 2000s, in - ahem - certain countries I absolutely refuse to name, much of the general public appears to have taken a big step backwards! *I'm talking about America.
  • Shaun's Database is generally among the funniest and most informative in the series. Like his deadly accurate summary of The Crimean War:
    It was also one of the first truly "modern" wars, if large masses of men shooting each other over which toff got to call themselves Emperor of Wherever can be called "modern." Technology like the exploding artillery shell, the railroad, and the telegraph shaped the conflict, and the advent of photographic technology meant it was one of the first wars to be documented in the press. This was particularly delightful in that the great legacy of the Crimean war was the rank incompetence and general mismanagement on the part of the leadership of all sides. Something to really be proud of there. If you're going to be inept, be REALLY inept. For the citizens on the home front puffed up with patriotic fervour, this was a bit like going to see your favourite band in concert only to realise that they only sounded good thanks to auto-tune and ruthless editing.
  • Shaun is so annoyed by the fact that the White Drawing Room is yellow that he gives up halfway through and cuts the entry off early. "I'm sorry, if they can't be bothered to paint the place properly, why should I be bothered to talk about it?"
  • While detailing the history of the Brotherhood, Shaun mentions how they were involved in the American Revolution, the French Revolution, and the Haitian Revolution. He adds "we're big on revolutions."
• In Shaun's first scene there's a Freeze-Frame Bonus in which you'll notice that his description reads "Assassin, Historian, Smartass"
• If a carriage is in motion, killing the horse(s) pulling it will cause the carriage to flip over. There is an achievement for doing this five times. The achievement is called "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU."
• One of the things to do in the game is collect vintage beers, with Shaun giving his analysis with sense data. Many of them are just really bad swill, and some of them having weird tastes. Only one of those beers even makes the proper grade. Here's one example in which he samples the ironically named Frye & Frye:
  Are you sure this is meant to be drunk? Because it tastes for all the world like a new concoction for Evie and Jacob's poison darts.
  • The first time you collect a beer bottle, it is very easy to have no idea why the Fryes want to collect beer bottles until you open the database. The realization of what Shaun is suffering is gut-busting, especially when you find this one:
    I didn't realize it was legal to patent pasteurized sheep urine. I'm starting to have second thoughts about this project.
  • One beer (using the term in its loosest possible sense) stands out. Shaun takes a drink, and then immediately descends into broken gibberish. According to him, the next thing he remembers is coming to three hours later, having written more gibberish, followed by a diatribe about the mating habits of finches.
    Excuse me. I must just pop to the loo. For the seventeenth bloody time in an hour.
• When you meet the Disraelis, one of the new articles in the database happens to be about Mary-Anne's pet corgi, Desmond. It's a bittersweet moment.
  Database Entry: Not funny, universe. Not funny at all.
  (Jeez, what'd you find in there? Shaun's locked himself in his room, I can't find the whiskey, and I think I hear crying. —RC.)
• After completing the World War I memories, you unlock a few database entries about certain characters, including one for Juno.
  Born: I have no earthly idea.
• After killing Kaylock and taking his train as a mobile headquarters, Evie attempts to get back on track with her plans. Henry listens, but Jacob refuses to do anything until they fix Kaylock's broken grappling hook, toying with it and pretending it's attached to his bracer.
  Evie: I'd like to follow up a lead on... *Noticing Jacob's antics* Jacob? This is serious.
  Jacob: *As he holds up the broken grapple gun* I'm not doing anything until this gets fixed.
• Really, Jacob is a gold mine of funny moments. Especially when his Blood Knight tendencies show themselves.
  Henry: *Handing Evie a kukri* Here. I'm sure you can put this to better use than I can.
  Jacob: *Taking the kukri for himself, eyeing it as if he's found the love of his life* What's this, Greenie? Assassin Christmas?
  • Or earlier:
    Henry: *Giving a pistol to each twin* Here, you might be able to use this.
    Jacob: Oh, God, I hope so!
  • While driving:
    Who's a good horse? You are!
  • Jacob's first kill of the game is a Blighter that he lured into a factory to get a door unlocked. Immediately after exiting the factory, three more Blighters take notice.
    Blighter: What the hell is going on?!
    Jacob: I'm the sanitary inspector. This man is dead.
• The Frye twins get deathbed confessions with their victims, after Arno was instead able to peer into his victims' memories. When Jacob assassinates James Brudenell, we get to see the downside. Lord Cardigan subjects him to a long, hammy speech that has him eyerolling the whole time.
  Jacob: What a prick.
• The fact the top of Nelson's Column is a Viewpoint. Cue one of the twins crouching on the Admiral's head. Especially as Jacob probably has no idea who Nelson even was.
  • It doesn't stop with Nelson's Column. One of the viewpoints will end up with either twin crouching on a bronze statue of a grasshopper.
• Sometimes the Animus will actually end up translating British slang in the subtitles, for instance resulting in "Lost your bottle (nerve), boys?".
  • It becomes even funnier if you recall all the numerous issues the Animus has had with other languages, sch as Ezio's bursts of Italian being explained away as Animus language software bugs, or Shaun complaining about similar bugs making pre-Revolutionary colonials speak in American as opposed to British English.
• In the middle of the game, Alexander Graham Bell will equip Jacob and Evie with voltaic bombs to test on an incoming pair of Blighters. Whenever it seems like he's finished describing the plan, he stops them so he can add yet another detail, from just barely remembering to hand them protective gear (that "should" protect them from the shock) to telling them they should throw their bombs whenever he says the name of a fruit.
• Mary Anne Disraeli. Just... everything about her. You might figure that the wife of a mid-19th century politician would be one of the most stale characters in the game, but nope! She turns out to be positively charming, largely because of how she comes off as such a hilarious Ditz. For example, she helps Jacob find out who the Templar agent in Parliament is only after he helps her slum it in Devil's Acre. Truly, only Mrs. Disraeli would come up with such a bizarre transaction of favors. Oh, and she carries around her pet corgi in a purse.
  • One particularly great exchange she has with Jacob when he fends off assassins sent after Benjamin Disraeli:
    Mary Anne: What do you intend to do about Gladstone, young man?
    Jacob: I assure you, madam, Gladstone is innocent in this.
    Mary Anne: But he tried to kill my husband.
    Jacob: Well, we'll look into Gladstone.
  • Then after you go save her corgi that is taken by a Blighter, Jacob realizes that he just left her behind completely alone in one of the most dangerous pubs in London. When he arrives there she is surrounded by Blighters... with whom she is having a polite conversation, makes one realize he never told his father how he felt, and she gives him a piece of candy.
• Jacob's formation of the Rooks is hilarious, especially Evie's reaction to it and the fact that neither she nor Henry are really taking his plan seriously at the moment.
  Evie: We will free London from Starrick, you have my word.
  Jacob: (Butting in, visibly annoyed) And my Rooks!
  Henry: Miss Frye, your passion is inspiring.
  • The entire scene must be witnessed to be fully appreciated. Their body language and expressions are perfect.
• "The Crate Escape", a joint attempt between the Fryes to procure a Templar chest, results in a carriage getaway with Jacob at the reins and Evie having to shoot their pursuers. It doesn't help that Jacob is shouting taunts and Evie is telling him to stop it. But notably, their banter is hilarious and this is the one storyline mission (aside from the final mission) that features the twins cooperating together.
  Evie: Jacob! Careful!
  Jacob: What is it?
  Evie: It's PAPERS, Jacob. Documents. Research!
  Jacob: What are we supposed to do with PAPERS?
  Evie: READ THEM.
  • Notably, that carriage getaway gives you limitless ammunition with which to shoot your pursuers... because Jacob tells her to take his when she runs out. This seems to imply Jacob assumed that a quiet "you will stick to the mission" run by his stealth-oriented sister would need enough bullets to shoot every Blighter in Victorian England in the head three times.
• One of the Charles Darwin memories is given the pre-memory description "Be a dear and fetch Darwin a newspaper." Your personal reaction trope is canonical.
• Clear three boroughs, and you enable Sequence 8, which is cued by a letter arriving at the train hideout for Jacob. The Sequence's intro cutscene is hilarious.
  Jacob: A dinner invitation.
  Evie: And who will you be dining with this evening?
  Jacob: Maxwell Roth.
  Evie: The leader of the Blighters? You're not going.
  Jacob: Of course not.
  (cut to the Helix map as a new main-mission for Jacob appears, titled 'Strange Bedfellows').
• Jacob teasing Evie about her growing affection for "Mr. Green."
  Jacob: "'Oh, yes, Mr. Green. That's a fascinating idea.' 'Oh, please, Mr. Green, come and take a look at this book and stand oh-so-close to me, Mr. Green.'"
• During the mission to assassinate the Earl of Cardigan, Jacob can speak to a politician who can lead him to straight to the target's office. What's Jacob's cover?
  Jacob: "Pardon me, gentlemen, Sergeant Freddy Abberline of Scotland Yard. Where might this scandalous activity be taking place?"
  • And throughout the walk he talks about "himself" such as his brilliant disguise as an ancient lady.
  • And if you access the Earl's room with the password, you'll find he has his back to you. Rather than simply stab him, Jacob waits for him to finish his paperwork, resulting in this hilarious interaction:
    Earl of Cardigan: Now then, let's discuss this like gentle-(suddenly realizes it's Jacob) Good God! Who the bloody he-
    Jacob: Oh, shut up. (slashes the Earl's throat with his Hidden Blades)
• The final mission is just a consecutive string of CMOAs and CMOFs. The Frye twins are in formal wear; the game outright tells you: "Evie's movements are RESTRICTED by her dress", and she HATES it. When Starrick snatches the key to the Shroud of Eden, she sends Jacob to stop him while she "get[s] out of this... infernal contraption!" After Jacob handles the first round of the Final Boss fight, we cut back to Evie as she steps out of a hiding curtain, unceremoniously discards the dress, sheathes her Hidden Blade, and gives the garment a very relieved-sounding "Requiescat in pace."
• Some Black Comedy in the rantings of Mooks that you have poisoned with darts. All done in an over-caffeinated crazy voice.
  Mook: I went to the doctor and he says to dose myself with MERCURY in my TEAR DUCTS! So I does it and now I'm in the best shape of my life!
  Mook: The devil did this to me! The devil did this! *spots an enemy* THERE HE IS! THERE'S THE DEVIL!
• Occasionally, during combat, a Mook will lampshade the Conservation of Ninjutsu and simultaneously lambaste the game's combat system with the following line:
  Mook: STOP ATTACKING HIM/HER ONE AT A TIME!
• The start of the Charles Dickens memories is priceless too. Dickens asks the Fryes if they believe in ghosts. Jacob scoffs at the idea, but then Evie gives a quite firm yes. Jacob then starts to make a remark, and Evie gives him a Death Glare of such horrific intensity that it could have only come from one sibling to another. Jacob backs down instantly.
• The Assassin Intel segments show Abstergo and the Templar's method of testing The Shroud, with their unlimited budget and years of research: shooting one another in the head. Repeatedly.
  De Costa: (The Shroud finishes repairing her skull) That was...indescribable. W-when can we do it again?
  Grammatica: How about now? (Shoots her in the head)
  • One of the Intel files has De Costa and Berg attempt to go behind Grammatica's back to test The Shroud (naturally with De Costa on the receiving end of the Boom, Headshot! treatment). However, their attempts to drug Grammatica's drink end miserably and he barges in on them just as they're about to begin.
    Grammatica: Sigma Team's been disbanded. You've both been reassigned to the Phoenix Project, and yet here you are, defying orders by breaking into my facility and trying to interrogate a Precursor! I knew I liked you for a reason, Berg. Proceed.
    Berg: Thank you. (silenced gunshot)
• If you collect the Helix glitches, you can get a few hints of humor from the modern day Assassins. Arend Schut-Cunningham consoles Galina for not killing Berg because he called dibs. Kiyoshi Takakura's search list reads like a travel food guide. Also, that Berg's big move in Assassin's Creed Rogue, to video bomb the Assassins with Shay's demoralizing story had zero effect on morale. You get the feeling that Bishop closed communications not only for security, but to just get the others to shut up.
• Meta: the Assassin's Creed Tumblr's extremely blunt statement on the infamous, um, "discussion" over Jacob's sexuality:
  "Jacob Frye is bisexual. This is canon. The end."
• Civilians react with a sense of fear when someone gets murdered or knocked out right before their very eyes and justifiably so. One such encounter with one orphan boy had this little gold nugget occur, a clear shout-out to the British band, Queen and their song Bohemian Rhapsody:
  Orphan Boy: I'm just a poor boy! Nobody loves me!
• "An Abominable Mystery" is unintentionally hilarious during the escape: it's funny as hell to watch horses just drop dead for no reason- and passersby too. All you do is drive a fucking cart full of poisoned flowerpots.
• In Unbreaking the Bank, Evie says to herself how much her father was right about Jacob being reckless. When infiltrating the bank, Evie can brutally assassinate every single guard in the bank along the way. Including right in the middle of a group of people.
• Item descriptions can get downright lemony at times.
  The Devil's Handshake: They say you shouldn't shake hands with the Devil, but that's really more of a suggestion than a rule.
  Gold Blessing Kukri: It is said that there is a blessing upon those who hold this kukri. I don't believe that extends to those who take it in the throat.
  Lord Pearson's Cane-Sword: An understated weapon, perfect for Pearson the flesh of your enemies.
  Eagle's Splendor Knuckles: Use these heavy knuckles to punch people in the face, just like an eagle.
  M1877 "Thunderer": Subtlety be damned. The Thunderer is a beautiful monster in silver and gold.
  Darbie's Bear Paw: Ever wanted to wrestle a bear? Wear these to even the odds. Also you probably don't want to wrestle a bear.
  Great Old One's Caress: The knuckles's description reads that they "were hupadgh n'gha ng n'ghft" and are shaped like a tentacle that curls over the hand.
• The Dreadful Crimes mission "The Most Hated Man in London" comes across as comical for a murder. It's set up as a 17 minute walk along the victims daily routine, which he makes each stop like clockwork. Along the way, the victim is poisoned, shot, poisoned again, stabbed and has a crate dropped on his head. What makes it funny is that not only were 5 different people responsible for the various attempts on his life, none of them were in on it together, all of them just happened to pick that same day to kill the guy for 5 different reasons(including his wife AND his mistress), but also that he sticks to his routine after being poisoned, after being shot, after being poisoned a second time, after being stabbed and eventually getting crushed by the crate stops him. Staying on schedule was apparently that important to him, fatal wounds be damned.
• Galina gives Shaun the fright of his life when she suddenly appears behind him. She also teases him that he screams like a little girl on their previous assignment.
• In a Charles Dickens London Story called "An Artful Plan," Jacob or Evie agrees to help a man win the heart of his girl. Part of this "master plan" is to kidnap her, and lose a fake fight against Hammond, in which they are a trained assassin facing a rather defenseless civilian. Despite Jacob or Evie knowing this is the worst plan they've ever heard, they agree to do it anyways. The cherry on top is that after you 'lose' the fight, you see Jacob or Evie's body lying on the ground in the back of the cutscene that follows.
• When the player climbs on a carriage where the driver sits at the back.
  Driver: You cheeky sod! Get off!

---