Funny / Anger Management

• The incident that lands Dave in anger management in the first place is a sight to behold.
  • Dave finds a guy in his seat, whom he can't really get to move because he's trying to be polite. The guy suggests sitting in his seat, which turns out to be in between two very large passengers, before Buddy pipes up that he can have the seat next to him.
  • After Buddy embarrasses Dave by being obnoxiously loud and telling Dave to get a headset to listen to the in-flight movie with him, he tries to get the attention of a flight attendant. Said attendant brushes him off constantly, then when she walks down the aisle, Dave touches her arm to get her attention, causing her to scold him like he's being super belligerent (he doesn't raise his voice at all), making a scene that gets the attention of a flight marshal. After an unfortunate mistaken-for-racist comment from Dave, he's told to calm down once more. Dave flips out and shouts that's he calm, then the flight marshal tazes him. And Buddy is sound asleep through all this.
• The porn stars Gina and Stacy explaining why they're in anger management.
  Stacy: So anyway, in the middle of our session I look up and I see Gina kissing Melo on the mouth, which is totally not cool because it violates our threesome code of ethics.
  Gina: Then Stacy bit my toe off.
  Stacy: Then Melo freaks out and calls me a crazy skank.
  Gina: And nobody talks to my bitch that way. So I stapled his lips shut.
  Stacy: And here we are.
  Dave: (stares in silence for a moment) Well... we've all been there.
• "The anger sharks are swimming in my head!"
• "Goosfraba."
• Buddy forcing Dave to sing "I Feel Pretty" with him. Inside Dave's car that is stopped on the middle of a busy bridge while other drivers pass him and scream obscenities at them.
• After sleeping in the same bed as him, Buddy wakes Dave up by taking pictures of him, then tells him he wants Dave to make him breakfast. When Dave doesn't cook Buddy's eggs the way he wants, this happens:
  (Buddy hurls the plate against the wall)
  Dave: HOLY SHIT!
  Buddy: I SAID OVER EASY!! (Beat, then speaks in a gentle voice) Now why did I do that?
  Dave: Because I refused to spoon with you last night?
• Buddy tracks down Dave's childhood bully Arnie so Dave can confront him, and they find he's become a Buddhist monk who has renounced violence and apologizes to Dave for all the things he did when they were kids.
  Arnie: I pushed you around. I called you nasty names.
  Dave: You pulled my gym shorts down in front of Sara Plowman.
  Arnie: That... (starts to laugh) actually was pretty funny.
  • Buddy provokes Arnie into attacking Dave by spinning a story that Dave would show Arnie's little sister his "winkie" and tell her it was a strawberry ice cream cone. After Arnie shoves Dave, he decides to go with it.
  Arnie: Answer me, Buznik. Did you get it on with my sister?
  Dave: Over and over again. And she moaned like a wildebeest.
  Buddy: (sticks his head between them) Wildebeest!
  • Arnie wheels off and punches Dave back. Buddy admits "I wasn't expecting that from a Buddhist."
  • Dave ends up pulling Arnie's robes over his head, exposing his nearly-naked butt to everyone, before shoving him on the ground and giving him a wedgie. Even the other monks watching this unfold start to laugh.
  • As the two drive off reveling in Dave beating up Arnie, Dave's exclamations take a dark turn.
  Dave: I feel bad about molesting his sister all those times, but it's all right!
  Buddy: (turns serious) You really molested a crazy girl?
  Dave: Nah. Gotcha!
• Dave gets assaulted by Kendra for refusing to sleep with her and she assumes it's because she's too skinny and starts messily eating chocolate to turn him off.
  Dave: She tried to chocolate me to death!
• Then Buddy reveals that Linda called while Dave was out with Kendra, and he actually told her exactly where Dave was and what he was up to:
  Buddy: "What was I supposed to tell her?"
  Dave: "Tell her I was at the bank! That I was at the store! That I ate bad guacamole and I couldn't stop shitting! ANY OF THOSE WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE!!"
  • "...GREAT!!"
• At the end of the film when Linda explains all the annoying people Dave encountered the last few weeks were in on Buddy's scheme.
  Dave: What about the air marshal who tasered me? Was he in on it?
  (flashback of the air marshal sitting between two passengers sleeping on his shoulders)
  Linda: ...No, he was just having a bad day.
  Marshal: Son of a bitch.