Funny / A Giant Sucking Sound

• The 1996 Second Presidential Debate starts with a silly response by Perot:
  Jim Lehrer: For the second time in US political history, all three major candidates to the Presidency come from the Deep South, including two from Texas. Mr. President, do you consider that this situation increases your competition with Governor Richards ?
  Perot: Well, Jim, I got to say it. No, I don’t spend my weekends with Governor Richards, wearing santiags, a Stetson hat, and going to rodeos while singing good ol’ country.
  • Richards also gets in on the act.
  Richards: Come on, Ross, the world has to know the truth.
• The Vice-Presidential Debate has some memorable rhetoric.
  Jim Edgar: The main point of my adversaries is that I’m a crook because I’m the Governor of Illinois and all my predecessors were prosecuted for criminal charges. I don’t know, it’s like saying Senator Boren (of Oklahoma) deals with dust bowls every year or that Senator Kerrey (of Nebraska) only eats corn.
• Joe Biden announcing his run for the presidency on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.
  David Letterman: And will you stop to be a gaffe machine for a while?
  Joe Biden: Well, I promise not to steal a foreign Leader of the Opposition’s biography this time. I will take Jean Chrétien’s instead. He, at least, has won an election.
• Ross Perot fingering Saddam for everything.
  CIA Director James Clapper: Yes, Mr. President, I’m sure. This Japanese cult has no relation with Saddam.
• The Mood Whiplash in this line following the heated exchange over China after President Perot storms off the debate stage after a very heated exchange with Republican nominee Carroll Campbell:
  Jim Lehrer: So, Governor Richards…Huh… What do you have to say about Medicare?
• The chaotic mess that the 2000 Freedomite Convention deteriorates into after former President Perot abruptly nominates Freedomite House leader Joseph Kennedy II on the convention floor contains a few hilarious scenes; such as Texas Senator Nolan Ryan announcing that he would not have his name entered as a candidate and some of the results near the end of the twelfth ballot^note with non-Americans, deceased individuals and fictional characters getting votes; similar to the real-life balloting for the 1972 Democratic nomination for Vice-President.
  "Bernie Sanders^note leader of the socialist faction 12… Ann Richards^note the incumbent Democratic President in this timeline 3… Obi-Wan Kenobi^note fictional character 1… Captain America^note ditto 1… Horatio Alger^note dead since 1899 1… Jacques Chirac^note non-American; French president at the time 1… Kool-Aid Man^note once again, fictional 1… Ronald Reagan^note ineligible after serving two full terms; was also well into his bout with Alzheimer's disease by then 1… "