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Funny / A Bronx Tale

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As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.


  • Young Calogero's confessional.
    Young C: Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last confession and these are my sins: I missed mass on Sunday twice, I lied about witnessing a murder once, I ate meat on Friday once.
    Priest: Wait a minute. Can you back up a little bit and say that again?
    Young C: I ate meat on Friday once?
    Priest: No. Not that one. Back up a little more.
    Young C: I lied about witnessing a murder?
    Priest: Yeah, that's the one. Do you realize what you said?
    Young C: It was only once, Father!
    Priest: Do you know what the fifth is?
    Young C: The fifth is, I refuse to answer on the grounds that I might incrimin—
    Priest: The Fifth Commandment!
    • And then the priest tries to convince C he needs to tell the cops the truth:
    Priest: Don't be afraid, my son. Nobody's more powerful than God.
    Young C: I don't know about that. Your guy's bigger than my guy up there... but my guy's bigger than yours down here.
    Priest: (beat) Ya got a point. (thinks it over) Okay, I want you to say five Our Fathers and five Hail Marys.
    Young C: For lying about a murder rap? That's not bad, Father!
    Priest: What did you say?!
    • Pretty much anything out of Young C's mouth. There's a reason the critics loved the younger version over the older one that tells the second half of the movie.
  • In the opening narration Calogero talks about how at night you could hear the sounds of young Italian men wooing their women - cue a man driving slowly alongside his wife/girlfriend shouting "Honey, will you just get in the fucking car?!"
  • As Sonny trains Calogero to play craps, he keeps sending his cronies, one by one, into the single-stall bathroom so as to clear the room of bad luck and distractions. The scene almost plays like something out of a slapstick comedy; as Calogero keeps throwing the dice, the guys crammed inside the bathroom wriggle around uncomfortably to peek out and see if they can finally escape their claustrophobic confines.
  • At the racetrack, Sonny is confident their horse will win until they overhear Eddie Mush cheering for the same horse. Sonny immediately rips up the betting slips and sure enough the horse is overtaken right at the finish line.
  • The Mario Test, which is made even funnier by Calogero's follow-up line in the musical.
  • After witnessing the aftermath of his friends attacking the black neighborhood, C runs back to the bar to thank Sonny for getting him out of the car. On the way, the guy who C lent $20 to sees him and starts making up more excuses about why he can't repay him. Exasperated, C just tells him to forget about the $20.

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