War On Everyone is a 2016 crime drama/comedy starring Michael Peña, Alexander Skarsgård, Theo James, and Tessa Thompson. Bob Bolaño (Peña) and Terry Monroe (Skarsgard) are corrupt police detectives in Albuquerque, New Mexico who stumble across a sinister criminal empire in the course of shaking down some low-level hoods. They eventually decide to do something about it (and make as much money as possible in the process), snarking and shit-talking the whole way.
War On Everyone contains examples of:
- Badass Boast: When The Dragon pulls a straight razor, Terry shows him the large ring on his right hand, explaining that his mom gave it to him, and that it's for "beating the shit out of scumbags like you." Cue No-Holds-Barred Beatdown.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Bob and Terry both hide behind innocent bystanders when The Dragon shoots at them. Bob takes it a step further by berating his Human Shield for trying to get out of the line of fire.
- Cool Car: Terry's 1970 Chevy Monte Carlo, whose all-steel body is substantially more durable than newer vehicles.Terry: I love this car, man! It's fuckin' indestructible!
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Several criminals challenge Terry to hand-to-hand combat, including one who brandishes a straight razor. In each case, Terry simply walks up and decks them with a single punch.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Terry implies that he had an unpleasant childhood when he's getting roughed up by Mangan's goons: "You gonna beat me some more? You gonna cut me? You gonna rape me? Ain't nothin' you can do to me ain't already been done."
- Depraved Bisexual:
- Mangan gets out of bed with a woman and a man in an obvious post-coital situation to go and behead Padraic. Given that he's in the middle, it's fair to assume the woman wasn't the only one being "shared."
- Mangan drops some not-so-subtle hints of this in his introductory scene, where he intimidated Birdwell by describing violent anal sex as both the worst and best thing about jail.
- Dirty Cop: Bob and Terry are cops who regularly augment their salaries by shaking down small-time crooks, including planting drugs and beating up anyone who looks sideways at them.
- Everyone Has Standards:
- As crooked as they are, Terry and Bob have some morals, and are willing to Pay Evil unto Evil.
- Played for Laughs when Bob and Terry pay a visit to Mangan's horse ranch. When a jockey who works for Mangan won't answer their questions, Terry grabs him by the hair and holds his head underwater in a horse trough for a few seconds before repeating the question. The jockey's wig comes off, revealing a severely receded hairline. Both detectives recoil in horror as the jockey bursts into tears. Terry and Bob are both genuinely apologetic, and Terry wrings out the man's wig and puts it back on his head, with a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Roughing him up was one thing, but they didn't mean to humiliate the guy like that!
- Evil Brit: The Big Bad, Lord James Mangan, OBE. A very British, very rich, very blue-blooded, very evil bastard who makes a point of deriding both Americans and Irish, and has all of his mooks address him as "your lordship."
- Functional Addict: Mangan shoots heroin and smokes crack, but remains calm, calculating, and ruthless even when high out of his mind.
- Groin Attack: A specialty of Terry's, often via a kick, though at the pistol range he manages to group all of his shots in the target silhouette's crotch. He later dispatches Birdwell with a .45 caliber nut shot in the final shootout.
- The Heart: For all his Dirty Cop excesses, Terry is still compassionate. Bob's reaction to a preteen runaway begging for change outside a diner is to criticize the spelling and presentation of his sign. Terry, on the other hand, gives the boy some cash and actually pays enough attention to recognize him as the son of the woman they arrested for stabbing her husband to death. Terry goes on to take the boy in and, as he finds out more about his situation, does what he can to get his mother's sentence reduced.
- Hidden Depths: Terry occasionally demonstrates that he is smarter than he seems at first glance.
- The Snack Is More Interesting:
- Hearing sounds of violence and a woman screaming prompts Bob and Terry to run in with guns drawn...and cheeseburgers still in hand. Finding a man skewered with a kitchen knife doesn’t deter them from finishing their burgers.
- Played for Laughs as Terry administers a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown on Birdwell. He pauses between punches to ask if Bob wants to grab burritos for lunch. Bob says "Nah, it's date night. I can't do Mexican." Terry shrugs and resumes beating the ever-loving shit out Birdwell.
- Would Hurt a Child:
- Mangan's criminal ventures include child porn. Terry decides to when he finds out about it (and that Danny is one of the victims).
- Birdwell is a child molester.
