The Funhouse Massacre is a Comedy Horror Slasher Movie by Andy Palmer.
Five of the country's most vicious and sadistic serial killers are busted out of the Statesville Mental Hospital when the daughter of one of them (Candice De Visser) breaks them all out. These killers are...
- Jeffrey "Animal The Cannibal" Rameses (E.E. Bell), who was once a chef who served his customers to his customers.
- Bradford "Dr. Suave" Young (Sebastian Siegel), a former dentist whose methods of treating his patients tended to end in their deaths.
- Walter "The Taxidermist" Harris (Clint Howard), a former taxidermist whose favourite projects involved people.
- "Rocco The Clown" (Mars Crain), a former underground wrestler who "retired early and undefeated" after accidentally killing one too many opponents.
- Manual Dyer (Jere Burns), a religious cult leader who convinced his flock to burn themselves alive. He is now known in the facility as "Mental Manny".
Meanwhile, diner workers Morgan (Matt Angel), Laurie (Renee Dorian), Christina (Chasty Ballesteros), Jason (Sterling Sulieman), and Gerardo (Erick Chavarria) are picked up after work by their friends Mikey (Michael Eric Reid) and Randall (Leigh Parker) to head to the House Of Illusions Halloween Haunted House Attraction at the Macon County Funhouse, which is apparently featuring attractions based on the crimes of some of the worst killers in recent history (which some think isn't too tasteful). People show up by the truckloads, and it looks like it'll be good times all around.
However, what no one knows is that those escaped killers have set this up as a chance to kill a large number of people.
The film was released on November 13th, 2015.
The Funhouse Massacre contains examples of:
- All Part of the Show: The killers' murders are ignored as just a part of the act the scare actors are putting on. This allows the killers to get away with a lot of murders until Manny kills the DJs and outright tells everyone that the murders are genuine.
- Bald of Evil: Walter "The Taxidermist" Harris has no hair on the top of his head, and is a Serial Killer who would make his victims into taxidermy projects.
- Blood from the Mouth: The victim of Dr. Suave's that Laurie saved has lots of blood coming from his mouth.
- Bond One-Liner: Laurie gives one after taking out Dr. Suave.Laurie: I always hated going to the dentist.
- Boom, Headshot!: How Sheriff Kate kills Manual Dyer.
- Casualty in the Ring: Rocco the Clown is a former underground wrestler who would often kill his opponents. After it happened one too many times, he was "retired early and undefeated" and incarcerated at the Statesville Mental Hospital.
- Cruel Twist Ending: Laurie thinks she and Sheriff Kate are safe as they're being driven to the hospital, only for Laurie to spy a knife hidden up Kate's sleeve. She lets out a scream. Roll Credits.
- The second Stinger reveals that "Sheriff Kate" was really Eileen, who was wearing the sheriff's face as a disguise.
- Curse Cut Short: When the park overseer is chewing out his employees for smoking on the job, he's about to say bullsh-(loud microphone feedback noise).
- Daddy's Little Villain: Eileen is perfectly willing to assist her dad (Manual "Mental Manny" Dyer) in his plan to kill a lot of people with a Haunted House Attraction. She's a Serial Killer herself, the Stitch-Faced Killer.
- Depraved Dentist: Dr. Suave was a dentist who used his profession to kill people.
- Ear Ache: Laurie stabs Dr. Suave in the ear while fighting him.
- Emerging from the Shadows: This is how Manual Dyer makes his entrance in his introductory scene.
- Eye Scream:
- In a flashback, as Animal is preparing to carve up a woman, she grabs a fork and stabs him in the eye with it.
- The Stitch-Faced Killer sews the eyes and mouths of her victims shut.
- Facial Horror: Several examples.
- Rocco The Clown removes the mask, and face, of a park employee.
- When Morgan and Gerardo kill Animal, they do so by shoving his face against the rotating hot dog grill.
- Flashback: Several.
- Each of the killers gets a flashback showing the crimes they committed that got them locked up.
- There are some flashbacks of Manual burning a member of his flock alive, revealing that the woman he burned was Kate's mother, Eileen was present for it, and Kate was as well.
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Walter "The Taxidermist" Harris has eyeglasses, and is a Serial Killer who makes his victims into taxidermy projects.
- Frying Pan of Doom: When Morgan finally decides to arm himself against Animal, he grabs a frying pan to use against him.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: Animal has a scar on his right eye from when a woman he was going to kill stabbed him in the eye with a fork.
- Gory Discretion Shot: The death of one of the murderers is done off-screen, indicated only by some gore flying into view.
- Groin Attack: When Laurie is carrying Dr. Suave's victim after taking him out, a scare actor in a clown costume jumps out at her and gets a foot in the balls because she now knows there are Serial Killers in the park.
- Handgun: Sheriff Kate gives Morgan one of these when they decide to go back into the park to stop the killers.
- Honey Trap: Miss Quinn seduces Warden Kane and briefly makes out with him... and then she strangles him to death with a garrate wire.
- Human Shield: When Morgan and Gerardo confront Animal, Morgan immediately hides behind his friend, who asks why he's using him as a human shield.
- I'm a Humanitarian: In addition to serving people his murder victims as food, Animal is also revealed to eat them, as he's seen eating the security guard he killed with the others to integrate themselves into the staff.
- Impaled Palm: Eileen stabs Sheriff Kate through the hand while fighting her.
- Inertial Impalement: Christina is killed by being through against a bathroom stall door and being impaled on the coat hook.
- In the Back: Rocco The Clown takes a knife to the back. It does nothing.
- Ironic Echo: When Manual Dyer burned Sheriff Kate's mother when she was a kid, he stated "It's just death.". These are the words Sheriff Kate says to Manual before killing him.
- Jump Scare: When some workers are making their way through the haunted house, one of the animatronics jumps to life, scaring one of them.
- Male Gaze: The security guard at the mental hospital, while conversing with Miss Quinn over the intercom, decides to zoom the security camera in on her cleavage. The warden chews him out for potentially getting a sexual harassment charge thrown at them.
- Monster Clown: Rocco the Clown wears the face of a clown scare actor while he goes on a killing spree in the Haunted Attraction.
- Mouth Stitched Shut: The Stitch-Face Killer sews the mouths and eyes of her victims shut.
- Neck Snap: Rocco The Clown kills the scare actor whose face he stole by snapping his neck in front of the protagonists. They think it's an act they're putting on.
- No-Sell: Rocco The Clown can take knife stabs like nobody's business. Even a gunshot wound won't do much. A barrage of gunfire, on the other hand... won't put him down permanently.
- No Such Thing as Bad Publicity: In-Universe example. One of the park workers asks another if basing the haunted house attractions off the crimes of real-life Serial Killers is in poor taste, only for the other to fire back by stating that all that does is make people talk about it more.
- Off with His Head!:
- One guy gets his head ripped off his shoulders by one of the killers.
- A woman gets her head sawed off by Eileen.
- Oh, Crap!: Deputy Doyle's reaction when Sheriff Kate tells him that the calls he's been getting (and ignoring) from the Haunted House Attraction were real and not more Prank Calls.Deputy Doyle: Oh crapola.
- Perverted Sniffing: When Animal is patting down a woman to see if she has anything not allowed in the park, he takes the time to sniff her hair afterwards.
- Police Are Useless: Mostly averted. Sheriff Kate is a pretty competent cop who's working a case to find the Stitch-Faced Killer. This trope is mostly in play when Deputy Doyle is ignoring calls for help from the Haunted Attraction because of a Prank Call he received earlier.
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: One park worker tells another that a hashtag about the haunted houses is exploding on "Tweezer".
- Prank Call: Deputy Doyle gets a call from someone claiming to be from the House Of Illusions park, he sounds panicky and is breathing heavily, and says that the killer looked like "Your mom last night!" before bursting into laughter. Deputy Doyle starts ignoring all further calls from the park on the grounds that they're just more of the same.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: When Gerardo sees how scary the park is, he decides to wait back in the car.Gerardo: This place is too scary for me. Besides, only white people like this shit.
- The Secret of Long Pork Pies: Animal would kill customers, process their carcasses, and serve them to other customers. One flashback shows him chopping up fingers and putting them in a pan of food.
- Serial Killer: Six of them. Jeffrey "Animal The Cannibal" Ramesey, Bradford "Dr. Suave" Young, Rocco The Clown, Walter "The Taxidermist" Harris, Manual "Mental Manny" Dyer, and Eileen "The Stitch-Faced Killer".
- Slashed Throat: Quite a few throats get cut open in this movie.
- The Stinger: Two.
- In the middle of the credits, Sheriff Kate climbs out of the crashed ambulance and take off her face, revealing she's actually Eileen "The Stitch-Faced Killer". She then skips away.
- Amidst all the body bags containing the victims of the killers, one sits up, and it's revealed to be Rocco when he manages to rip through the bag he's in with his arms.
- Super-Strength: Rocco the Clown is strong enough to lift up a man and throw him to the ground to kill him.
- Tap on the Head: Eileen claims her first victim by whacking him on the back of the head with a mallet.
- Taxidermy Is Creepy: Walter Harris is a taxidermist and Serial Killer who would make his victims into taxidermy models.
- This Is a Drill: Dr. Suave uses construction drills to torture and kill his victims.
- This Is Gonna Suck: When Deputy Doyle sees he's going up against Rocco The Clown alone, he quips that he figured it would be him who'd do so.
- The Tooth Hurts: Dr. Suave is seen pulling out a man's teeth when Laurie attacks him.
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: When seducing Warden Kane, Miss Quinn pulls a garrote wire out of the front of her shirt.
- Vomit Discretion Shot: Deputy Doyle ducks down below the screen to vomit a couple of times after seeing Walter "The Taxidermist" Harris get shot and killed right in front of him.
- Who's on First?: When Morgan is trying to explain that he's dressed like the seventh Doctor Who for Halloween, he ends up confusing the customer, who thinks that Morgan is asking him what the doctor's name is.
- Wilhelm Scream: One guy lets one out after Rocco The Clown kicks him to the ground.
- You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Manual has the park overseer killed after telling him that he was the one who thought up the park, and was just using the overseer to build it.
- You Killed My Father: Sheriff Kate has a vendetta against Manual Dyer for killing her mother in the mass suicide of his flock.
- Your Costume Needs Work: The park employee who's playing the Stitch-Face Killer sees the actual Stitch-Face Killer (Eileen), and tells her that her outfit needs work.
- Your Mom: The Prank Call mentioned above was one of these jokes.
