If You Could Only Cook is a 1935 Screwball Comedy film directed by William A. Seiter, starring Jean Arthur and Herbert Marshall.
Jim Buchanan (Marshall) is a soon-to-be married millionaire car designer who chances upon out-of-work Joan Hawthorne (Arthur). Thinking Jim is struggling too, she points to an ad in the paper for a placement; a cook and a butler are wanted, and she suggests that they pretend to be a married couple to get the job. Without giving up his identity, Jim agrees with the plan, hoping to combat his ennui and the lack of appreciation from both his job and his stern socialite fianceé Eveyn (Frieda Inescort).
Posing as "Mr. and Mrs. Burns", they land the job, and wind up working for the gangster Mike Rossini (Leo Carrillo). However, Jim's nightly outings to his home and office leave Rossini's fixer Flash (Lionel Stander) suspicious, and they end up thinking he's a talented thief.
Joan, on the other hand, believes Jim is a talented designer (he shows her his drawings) and tries to sell his designs. She gets arrested and finds out that Jim is actually the millionaire James Buchanan. Saddened and disappointed at the deceit, she decides to go back home. However, Rossini and Flash are ready to save the day and bring the couple together – whether they like it or not.
Tropes:
- Benevolent Boss: Rossini once he discovers that Joan is in love with Jim and helps him escape his own wedding to the boring socialite.
- Cool Car: Buchanan’s modernistic/Art Nouveau designs for his new car.
- Friendly Neighborhood Gangster: Although Rossini and Flash may be suspect at times, they’re pretty goodnatured at heart.
- The Great Depression: The film very much reflects the period it was made in by highlighting the hardships of the working class.
- King Incognito: Jim pretends to be a butler.
- Right in Front of Me: Lady pretends to have had a relationship with James Buchanan, not ever actually seeing a photograph of him, she doesn’t know that the Jim Burns in front of her is the actual Buchanan.
- Secretly Wealthy: Joan doesn’t know that Jim is James Buchanan, the millionaire designer for Buchanan Motorcar Company.
- Servile Snarker: Mostly Jim, but Joan shows shades of this.
- Sleeping Single: Inverted since Lady and Jim’s living quarters only have one bed, so they flip a coin to see who’ll have to sleep on the couch. Jim loses.
- Sleeping with the Boss: Averted. Rossini takes a liking to Joan, but she is very much not interested in him and rejects all his advances.
