A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Fanfic by Scipio Smith.
Taking place right after the end of Season 3, Twilight Sparkle is enjoying her newly earned status as a Princess of Equestria, faced with the duty of preparing for the visit of zebra diplomats from the countries of Grevyia and Quaggai. With her friends at her side, she's sure she'll be able to face anything.
But, unbeknownst to her, someone has been waiting for an opportunity to strike at her. Breaking Dawn, a former student of Princess Celestia who has fallen on hard times, blames Twilight for her life's misfortunes and is determined to take her position back. With her own squadron of friends, Cherry Blossom, Razor Wind, Hardy Bloom, Laurel, and Hard Candy, she hatches an elaborate plan to wrest the crown from Twilight and ascend back to her former glory.
Now has a sequel, Comes the Sunset
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Vengeance of Dawn contains examples of:
- Addictive Magic: Dark magic, like the kind used by King Sombra in the Season 3 premiere, is easy enough to stop using the first couple of times, but after that, not using it starts to have nasty and painful side effects similar to drug withdrawal. While trying to use dark magic to figure out a cure for Cadence's amnesia, Twilight gradually becomes Not Herself, descending into irritability and paranoia, making her more susceptible to Breaking Dawn's manipulations.
- Affectionate Nickname: Breaking Dawn's closest friends call her "Dawny," while her best friend Razor Wind calls her "little sunshine."
- All of the Other Reindeer: While a student of the School for Gifted Unicorns, Laurel was bullied by her peers for being ugly and poor. Anypony who was nice to her only pretended to be her friend so she would do their homework. She became friends with Dawn because the latter stood up to Sunset Shimmer and Trixie for her sake when nopony else would.
- Amoral Attorney: Hardy Bloom is one of Breaking Dawn's circle of friends. She is a brilliant but infamous young lawyer whose reputation is such that it's believed she could talk Nightmare Moon herself off of all charges.
- Arranged Friendship: When Twilight was a filly, some unscrupulous ponies tried to take advantage of the fact that Princess Celestia was her personal mentor. She had a friend named Scarlet Shine who kept asking when she was going to get to meet Princess Celestia. One day, Twilight askes her why, and Scarlet reveals that her parents had told her to make friends with Twilight so they would get to talk to the Princess. She goes on to say that Twilight is boring and an egghead and a loser.
- Brainless Beauty: Discussed. Laurel comments that a mare of high society who cannot articulate her thoughts with words or on paper will quickly gain a reputation as a featherhead, and that only the worst sort of stallion will marry one. However, her private thoughts are that no stallion has ever so much as glanced her way because of her plain face, instead choosing the more beautiful mares regardless of their intelligence. Still, she promises to herself that the filly she's tutoring will have a sharp mind to go with her mother's looks, if she has anything to say about it.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Compulsion spells exist to force ponies to do things against their will, and are illegal except in the most dire of situations, such as using a compulsion spell on somepony afraid of heights to make them cross a bridge to safety. Dawn uses one such spell on Shining Armor to make him falsely confess that he was having an affair with Rarity as part of her Evil Plan.
- Bully Hunter: When they were fillies attending the School for Gifted Unicorns, Breaking Dawn stood up for Laurel when she was being bullied by Trixie and Sunset Shimmer.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Hardy Bloom can afford to have a pool table in her office. She comments that she could turn up to court dressed as a flamingo and it wouldn't matter as long as she got a not-guilty verdict.
- Candlelit Ritual: The Purging, a ritual to purge Twilight of dark magic, involves two overlapping circles surrounded by candles with golden and silver flames. After Twilight steps into the circle of the moon, Breaking Dawn steps into the circle of the sun and casts a spell that turns the candles into walls of fire surrounding them. Twilight must then leap over the golden flames to begin the three trials of the Purging.
- Cryptic Background Reference: When Dawn is starting to have doubts about her plan after seeing the effects of poisoning Cadence, Hard Candy compares her to the lead character of an in-universe play called Silver, Princess of Unicorns who struggles with difficult decisions but ultimately does what has to be done.
- Didn't Think This Through: Breaking Dawn plots an elaborate scheme to disgrace Twilight and get back in Celestia's good graces that turns out to involve poisoning Princess Cadence (with a substance that has no known cure), brainwashing Shining Armor into confessing to an affair with Rarity, and plotting with foreign zebra soldiers to stage a coup in Canterlot so she can defeat them later and look like a hero, figuring out that Celestia will be impressed by her ingenuity and magical power, and apparently not disgusted or horrified at what has been done to her personal student, niece, captain of her royal guard, and the ponies of her city. Sure enough, when Dawn reveals herself, instead of being impressed, Celestia immediately restrains her and reveals how disgusted she was with everything Breaking Dawn did, if anything confirming to Celestia that she made the right choice in replacing Breaking Dawn with Twilight.
- Disproportionate Retribution: To show that he's a huge asshole, Lord Mathos attempts to have a filly slave whipped for accidentally dislodging his mask.
- Everyone Has Standards: Breaking Dawn makes it clear from the start that she intends to bring down Princess Twilight and strip of her of her royal title while taking her place, but does not intend to kill her.
- Fallen-on-Hard-Times Job: When we first see Breaking Dawn in the present, she's getting fired from her job at a clothing store. Most ponies probably wouldn't find this job so bad, but Dawn, as a former student of Princess Celestia and ex-candidate for alicorn princesshood and the Element of Magic, considers it beneath her. Apparently she had to work several of these jobs after getting kicked out of the School for Gifted Unicorns, but couldn't hold on to any of them because of her pride.
- False Friend:
- At the School for Gifted Unicorns, multiple ponies pretended to be Laurel's friends so she would do their homework for them, something she was painfully aware of. Breaking Dawn was the first pony she met who genuinely wanted to be friends with her.
- As a filly, Twilight befriended another student named Scarlet Shine, who only turned out to be hanging out with her because her parents had told her to, so they could get an audience with Princess Celestia.
- Breaking Dawn herself, in the disguise of "Countess Mercedes Zaccone," pretends to be helpful and friendly to Twilight during the zebras' visit and the ordeal of Cadence's poisoning while secretly orchestrating her downfall.
- Floral Theme Naming: Although it doesn't seem to have been intentional, three members of Breaking Dawn's circle of friends have flower-related names — Cherry Blossom, Laurel, and Hardy Bloom.
- Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: Princess Celestia admits that it was awful of her to fill Breaking Dawn's head with dreams of being "the Chosen One" and then replace her with Twilight when she wasn't suitable enough for the Element of Magic. However, she also makes it clear that it doesn't excuse Dawn being a terrible pony: she was a lazy and disrespectful student while attending the School for Gifted Unicorns, and has done horribly cruel and selfish things in pursuit of her ambition to become an alicorn princess.Princess Celestia: You have disappointed me in ways I never believed possible, Dawn. As much as I regret my failure to better help the filly that you were, the mare that filly has grown up to become disgusts me.
- Friend to All Children: Hard Candy, a professional actress, loves performing in comedies and pantomime because of the joy it brings children.
- Godhood Seeker: More than anything, Breaking Dawn wants to become an alicorn princess, something she feels was unfairly denied to her.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Laurel has been treated badly by other ponies all her life for being poor and ugly. She hates ponies who have easy lives based on their birth status, personal connections or good looks, while she has to work endlessly just to scrape by and can't find a stallion willing to date her.
- Hide-and-Seek Horror: Hard Candy sings a hide-and-seek song about being hunted by zebras while the zebra soldiers of Grevyia are launching an attack on Canterlot, pulling ponies out of their houses and dragging them out into the streets to be chained up.Hard Candy: Close your eyes, don't look up, here comes a zebra to gobble you up...
- Homework Slave: While attending Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, Laurel was bullied by the other students for being ugly and poor, and nopony was ever nice to her unless they needed her to do their homework.
- I Coulda Been a Contender!: Breaking Dawn is a highly intelligent, charismatic, and cunning unicorn mare with magical potential so powerful that even Celestia, her personal mentor, has almost never seen the like of it before. But her spoiled attitude and lack of dedication to her studies caused Celestia to set her aside in favor of a young Twilight. Heartbroken, Dawn's academic performance continued to worsen, and when she could not control her rage and assaulted Twilight, she was expelled from the School for Gifted Unicorns. In the present day, Dawn is living in a poor apartment and can't even hold down a job at a clothing store because she thinks her former status as Celestia's personal student makes her too good to work like an ordinary pony.
- Idiot Ball: Dawn doesn't bother to wear a disguise when buying the Tears of Nightmare Moon, making it easy for the apothecary to later give a description of her while being interrogated by Shining Armor and Lancer.
- Kids Are Cruel: When Twilight was young, she was briefly friends with another filly named Scarlet Shine, whose parents had told her to be Twilight's friend so they could get a chance to talk to Princess Celestia. When Twilight asked her why, Scarlet said that Twilight was an egghead and a loser and boring. It is implied that this experience soured Twilight on the idea of making friends until she got to Ponyville.
- Laser-Guided Amnesia: The Tears of Nightmare Moon is an uncurable poison that erases the drinker's memories while using dark magic to create an evil version of them that will eventually take over their body. Breaking Dawn uses it on Princess Cadence as part of her Evil Plan, counting on her friend Laurel to devise a cure so she can use it on the princess later and make herself look like a hero.
- Locked Out of the Loop: As Twilight was growing up, Celestia purposely avoided telling her about the Elements of Harmony or her potential future status as a princess, so she would not grow up to become arrogant and self-absorbed like Breaking Dawn had. It worked, allowing Twilight to grow up into a selfless Humble Hero.
- Loose Floorboard Hiding Spot: During the Purging, Twilight and a disguised Dawn end up in a simulated version of Twilight's tower room at the School for Gifted Unicorns, which was previously Dawn's. Dawn mentions a loose floorboard that she previously hid betting magazines under, which tips Twilight off that Dawn hasn't been completely honest with her, as she didn't tell her she used to also live in the tower room.
- Meaningless Villain Victory: Wanting to become Princess Celestia's student again and an alicorn princess, Dawn successfully completes every step of her grand plan, defeats and disables Twilight and reveals herself to Celestia...who immediately attacks and restrains her, then reveals that she is aware of every terrible thing Dawn has done and makes it clear that she has nothing but disgust for her former student.
- Mentor's New Hope: As a young filly, Twilight was this for Princess Celestia after her previous student Breaking Dawn became lazy and indolent, no longer a deserving candidate for alicornhood or the Element of Magic. Ironically, Dawn herself was also previously this trope to Celestia after she expelled Sunset Shimmer for bullying another student, but we know how that turned out.
- Never My Fault: Breaking Dawn is very guilty of this, blaming Twilight for losing her position as Celestia's student and getting kicked out of the School for Gifted Unicorns, even though she brought those on herself by being lazy and indolent, then getting angry at Twilight (who was then only a young filly) for "stealing" her position and impulsively attacking her.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: In-universe, Breaking Dawn stages a play with characters named Prince Valiant, Princess Bella, Princess Nimue, and Lady Guinevere, who are caricatured versions of Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, Princess Twilight, and Rarity.
- No-Sell: Twilight tries to cure Cadence's amnesia with the Memory Spell, but it doesn't work because the Tears of Nightmare Moon are too powerful for that.
- Offended by an Inferior's Success: Laurel is an intelligent and unattracted pony who can't stand seeing good looking and/or stupid people having it better than her by virtue of looks, connections, luck, etc.
- Old Soldier: Lancer, an Original Character and Shining Armor's mentor in the Royal Guard.
- Only Bad Guys Call Their Lawyers: When Dawn's gang is meeting in Hardy Bloom's office, the latter comments, "You know most people come see their lawyer after they've committed a crime."
- Pimped-Out Dress: As always, Rarity outdoes herself while making the Mane Six's outfits for the ball being held in honor of the zebra diplomats.
- Poison and Cure Gambit: As part of her plan, Dawn spikes Princess Cadence's drink with an amnesia-inducing poison, while recruiting her friend Laurel to find a cure so she can make herself look like a hero for curing Cadence. Twilight beats her to it by figuring out the potion's secret: it works using dark magic, and needs a ritual known as the Purging to erase the effects.
- The Poorly Chosen One: Breaking Dawn was once Princess Celestia's personal student and potential candidate for the Element of Magic, but her laziness, spoiled attitude and delinquent behavior resulted in her losing her position to Twilight. She didn't take being replaced well, and her behavior grew worse until Celestia was forced to expel her from the School for Gifted Unicorns. At the beginning of the story, Dawn is living in a cheap apartment and working a low-end job at a clothing store, still bitter about what she could have had and blaming her failures on Twilight.
- Princesses Rule: Like Equestria, Quaggai is ruled by two princesses, a pair of zebra sisters known as Princess Teuta and Princess Aia.
- Punch-Clock Villain: None of Dawn's friends are really evil or even all that malicious, but they go along with her plan to depose Twilight, out of loyalty to and love for their friend.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Breaking Dawn gets two of them.
- The first is from Celestia, who tells her that everything bad that has happened to her is her own fault.Celestia: You are condemned entirely for faults your own, Dawn. As a student you were vain, lazy, disrespectful to your professors and disdainful of your fellow students. And now, as a grown mare, you have grown vicious and cruel. What you did to Cadancenote , whatever your intentions to reverse it, whatever your motives, your actions these past weeks have been absolutely unforgivable. You have disappointed me in ways I never believed possible, Dawn. As much as I regret my failure to better help the filly that you were, the mare that filly has grown up to become disgusts me.
- Later, she gets one from the Element of Magic itself.Element of Magic: [as the Magic Crown electrifies Breaking Dawn with lightning after she puts it on] So you are the pony who sought to gain the powers of Harmony? Arrogant fool, did you truly think yourself worthy?
Breaking Dawn: [in agonizing pain] Yes...
Element of Magic: Then you are as stupid as you are over-proud. One such as you, who creeps and crawls and strikes from the shadows, will never be fit to embody Harmony.
Breaking Dawn: But, you called out to me, I heard you singing...
Element of Magic: A siren song, to lure those who would seek me out of the desire for power or fame. My true bearer hears nothing from me, for I am nothing to her but a means to protect that which is truly precious.
Breaking Dawn: [as the Magic Crown begins to transform her into a demon] What's happening to me?
Element of Magic: You are being punished for your hubris. You will wear your soul upon the outside now.
Breaking Dawn: No, please. I was supposed to be great, known throughout the land.
Element of Magic: You will be. As a cautionary tale.
Hard Candy: [trying to pull the crown off Dawn's head, despite getting shocked with lightning when she tries] Get it off her, get it off!
Razor Wind: [also trying] It won't come, it's like it's fused to her head or something!
Cherry Blossom: [hugging Dawn] Please, Dawny, please stop. Come back to us. You don't have to hurt. You don't have to suffer alone because we're all here.
Breaking Dawn: [silently thinking] Is this hurting them?
Element of Magic: Only when they touch you.
Breaking Dawn: Do whatever you like to me, but you can't hurt them, they don't deserve it.
Element of Magic: Then make them let go.
Breaking Dawn: [out loud] Let go. Get away.
Razor Wind: [still trying to pull the crown off] No can do, sunshine. I'm coming away with this crown or not at all.
Laurel: You can't leave us, Dawny, we need you. You make us more than what we are, you always did.
Hard Candy: We already lost you once. We can't lose you again.
Hardy Bloom: Please, Dawn, if our friendship means as much to you as it does to us...
[the lightning disappears and Dawn's transformation reverses]
Element of Magic: Your friends are worthier than you yourself. Be thankful for them.
- The first is from Celestia, who tells her that everything bad that has happened to her is her own fault.
- Recruited from the Gutter: Breaking Dawn grew up a Street Urchin in the alleys of Canterlot, and her magical potential was only discovered when she tried to defend Razor Wind from some guardsponies pursuing them from stealing a scone from the royal kitchens. After seeing her display of power, Princess Celestia took her on as her personal student.
- Rhymes on a Dime: The highborn zebras of Quaggai speak in rhyme, which raises some questions about Zecora's status in her homeland.
- Secret Test of Character: When breaking into Twilight's castle to steal the Elements of Harmony, Razor Wind hears them calling out to her, singing, "Save us, redeem us. It is not too late." This is taken as a sign by Breaking Dawn that she and her cohort are the Elements' rightful bearers. Except not really. It's a trap to lure in the unworthy who would try to get their hooves on the Elements out of the desire for fame or power. Twilight and her friends cannot hear that song because they use the Elements as they were meant to be used: a means to defeat evil and protect what's really important.
- Scholarship Student: Growing up, Laurel came from a poor family and had to win scholarships and prizes for academic merit if she wanted any spending money at all.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Breaking Dawn asks an apothecary for an amnesia-inducing poison known as the Tears of Nightmare Moon, but he nervously says the sale of such a substance is illegal. A fat sack of fifty bits quickly gets him to change his mind.
- Shame If Something Happened: When Breaking Dawn's plot isn't getting results as quickly as he wants, Jugurtha comments that Laurel makes a long walk from her place of work to her home, with many long, narrow alleyways.
- Shout-Out:
- As a filly, while being chased by some guards for stealing from the royal kitchens, Dawn comments, "All this for a scone?"
- Dawn's favorite book is The Once and Always Princess.
- While drunk on dark magic, Twilight declares her intention to take over Equestria and crush anyone who opposes her, finishing with "All shall love me and despair!!"
- Prince Valiant, an in-universe No Celebrities Were Harmed version of Shining Armor, may be named after the comic strip Prince Valiant.
- Shout-Out to Shakespeare:
- The in-universe play The Treason of Valiant, Prince of the Crystal Empire contains a scene based on the famous "Now is the winter of our discontent" soliloquy from Richard III, as well as a declaration of love based on "Doubt thou the stars are fire / Doubt that the sun doth move" from Hamlet. Valiant also has a soliloquy about water being able to clean his hooves but not his soul, a reference to Macbeth.
- When looking at the herbs in an apothecary's window, Dawn asks if rosemary is for remembrance and pansies are for thoughts, another reference to Hamlet.
- Spell My Name With An S: The author's preferred spelling for Shining Armor's name is "Shining Armour."
- Stealth Insult: The highborn zebras of Grevyia speak in iambic pentameter to each other, but in common prose when talking to commoners. Lord Mathos speaks normally when addressing Princess Celestia, which basically means he sees her as beneath him. Being a master of Politeness Judo, she responds politely in prose, leaving him no way to respond in prose without acknowledging that he is either her equal or beneath her.
- Stellar Name: Like Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer, Breaking Dawn has a space-themed name.
- Sudden Name Change: In Chapter 4, the Emperor of Grevyia, may he live forever, is known as His Augustness Iarbas the Tenth, but in Chapter 16, he's referred to as Syphax IX.
- Supreme Chef: Cherry Blossom's special talent is cooking. She works at a restaurant and is so good at her job that her boss is talking about promoting her to sous chef. At the end of the story, she opens her own diner. Her first specialty is called the Breaking Dawn Special, in honor of her friend.
- Taken for Granite: After Taking the Bullet for Twilight, Breaking Dawn's final fate is to be turned into a stone statue, saving her from dying but effectively putting her in a state of suspended animation.
- Theme Naming: Fancypants and Fleur de Lis' children, a colt and filly, are named Velvet Waistcoat and Crinoline, both named after pieces of expensive clothing.
- Til Murder Do Us Part: Breaking Dawn has her friend Hard Candy put on a play in which a stallion named Prince Valiant fatally poisons his wife while she's sleeping so he can romance his sister's hoofmaiden.
- Too Proud for Lowly Work: Breaking Dawn was previously Princess Celestia's personal student before being removed from her position due to her laziness and spoiled attitude, and expelled from the School for Gifted Unicorns when she assaulted Twilight for replacing her. In the present, she has to take up multiple Fallen-on-Hard-Times Jobs to pay the rent on a cheap apartment she shares with two friends, but gets fired from all of them because she feels being Celestia's former student puts her on a level above other ponies.Breaking Dawn: You know what, fine. You want me gone, I'm gone. I was always too good for this place anyway.Mr. Price: Like you were too good for all the other places you worked before this? The places you got fired from? I don't know why I kept you on as long as I did, unless it was because I felt sorry for you.
- Undying Loyalty: Razor Wind's primary character trait is that she has been Breaking Dawn's most loyal friend, ever since their childhood when they were orphans surviving together on the streets. Really, she is quite similar to Rainbow Dash in this regard.
- Unfit for Greatness: Breaking Dawn has the magical power, potential and skill needed to qualify for being the Element of Magic. It's altruism, selflessness and humility she lacks.
- Uriah Gambit: It is somewhat implied that the Emperor of Grevyia always intended for Lord Mathos to fail in his attempt to take over Canterlot and get himself killed, so he could wipe out House Aethiope as punishment. He declined to give him any royal troops for the attack, forcing Mathos to bring his House's soldiers to Canterlot, which would leave House Aethiope undefended when the Emperor's soldiers came to kill them. He also stated that if Mathos was captured alive, the Emperor would not pay any amount of ransom to have him freed. However, that doesn't quite explain why the Emperor gave him a pair of priceless magical bridles that would have rendered Celestia and Luna powerless, if he anticipated them being lost or destroyed when the coup failed.
- Villainous Friendship: Breaking Dawn and her circle of foalhood friends, Razor Wind, Cherry Blossom, Hardy Bloom, Laurel, and Hard Candy. None of the latter five are particularly evil, but go along with Dawn's plot to dethrone the newly-crowned Twilight Sparkle and win back the favor of Princess Celestia, simply because their loyalty to her is so strong. She feels the same way toward them, as seen when she promises not to leave them behind when she becomes a princess of Equestria. In fact, one could make the argument that they're as close as Twilight and her friends are. They don't even abandon Dawn when her plan fails and the princesses come to arrest her, sticking by her side until the end. And it's their strong bond that ultimately saves Breaking Dawn from her near fate of being turned into a demon by the Element of Magic after it deemed her unworthy, with the relic even outright saying they were far worthier than she ever was. How's that for friendship?
- Visual Pun: Breaking Dawn has bright green eyes, making her a literal Green-Eyed Monster.
- What Beautiful Eyes!: Laurel is said to be a rather plain-looking pony with a chalky, off-white coat and dowdy grey mane that makes her look older than her real age, but she has beautiful eyes that are a brilliant shade of blue.
- Younger Than They Look: Laurel is a young adult mare, but looks older due to her grey mane.
- Your Favorite: After Dawn is in tears after being fired from yet another job, Cherry Blossom makes her favorite salad for dinner to cheer her up.
