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Fanfic / The Pez Dispenser and the Reign of Terror

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The Pez Dispenser and The Reign Of Terror is a Calvin and Hobbes Fanfic by HobbesLuigi82, set in the same canon as Swing123 and garfieldodie's fics.

In it, Calvin creates a Pez dispenser that can be used as a gun with various power settings (all the way up to "Hiroshima Bomb", in fact!). Unfortunately, he loses it to an old foe that's got quite a few other tricks up his sleeve...


This fanfic contains examples of:

  • Abnormal Ammo: The PEZ 6000, true to its name, fires PEZ candies (of varied power).
  • Advanced Tech 2000: The PEZ 6000, which is later upgraded to 6,000,000.
  • Alliterative Title: Chapter 3 is named "Claustrophobia, Chaos, and Candy!"
  • Animate Inanimate Object: The PEZ 6000.
  • Apocalypse How: The duplicate remarks on trying to pull a Class 6;
    "I took the remains and modified it into a weapon so powerful, I could wipe every sign of life off this crummy planet. I'm seriously considering that."
    • Later, he activates the Halley's Comet setting on the PEZ 6,000,000 and almost causes a Class X in the process.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Chapter 8 has a giant robot attack the town.
  • Berserk Button: After calmly fighting his Evil Knockoff for a while, the thing that finally sets Socrates off is it calling him "Crateso".
  • Big "NO!": Calvin does one upon the Halley's Comet setting being activated.
    • The duplicate does another one after Calvin aims the PEZ 6,000,000 at the meteorite.
  • Evil Knockoff: A robotic version of Socrates shows up in chapter 9, but shortly after clearly stating it's a robot, the narration then clarifies it's actually a real tiger.
  • Evil Laugh: The duplicate does one after using the PEZ 6,000,000 to summon Halley's Comet to destroy Earth.
  • Exact Words: The PEZ 6000 is upgraded to run on Calvin's (and only Calvin's) brainwaves, which is a non-issue for the duplicate.
  • Fun with Acronyms: The Plastic Empowered Zapper 6000.
  • Harmless Freezing: Hobbes gets hit with this in Chapter 4, and though the narrative makes a big deal of it he isn't really hurt at all.
  • Hope Spot: In the middle of Chapter 3, as the PEZ 6000 is (presumed) dead.
  • I'm Your Worst Nightmare:
    Giant robot: What in God's name are you? And your friends?
    Andy: You and your "creator's" worst nightmare.
  • Incredible Shrinking Man: Used as a plot point - Socrates and the duplicate are shrunken down to the size of dust specks and fight, and since the latter has the only usable Transmogrifier Gun (since Calvin has been turned into a brick), they must fight for about a day until the transmogrification wears off.
  • Insult Backfire:
    Calvin: You absolutely SICKEN me. You killed one of your own men because he was too hurt to fight. But the part that sickens me MOST…is knowing that in my present state; I can't do ANYTHING about it.
    Evil Calvin: Thanks for the compliment.
  • Kick the Dog: The duplicate killing one of his own men.
  • Let's Mock the Monsters: Done by Socrates to his Evil Knockoff.
  • Medium Awareness:
    Hobbes, who had seen him leap out the window, asked, "What was the point of that?"
    "Two reasons," answered Calvin. "One, it's quicker to get to the backyard. Two, it adds drama and action, two vital things that movies like this need, so that cinema-goers are pleased."
    • Also, Sherman remarks "I do a lot of jumping in this movie,
  • Motor Mouth: From Hobbes:
    "Getthatthingoutofmyfacegetthatthingoutofmyfacegetthatthingoutofmyface."
  • Mythology Gag: Several jokes from the original strip are reused here.
  • "Open!" Says Me: The duplicate does this to the door in one of the mansion's rooms.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Socrates' Evil Knockoff has these. Socrates himself gains them upon his Berserk Button being pressed.
  • The Reveal: Chapter 4 - the duplicate has returned.
  • Reverse Psychology: Utilized to its greatest extent in chapter 8.
  • "Save the World" Climax
  • Shout-Out: Combined with Saw Star Wars 27 Times: "Geez, this dupe has seen that War of the Worlds remake WAY too many times."
  • Super Window Jump: Calvin does this twice.
  • Talking in Your Sleep:
    Hobbes: CD players swimming in an ocean of gravy…Zzzzzz…with tree trunks…snort Zzzzz.
  • Title Drop: Chapter 9 is titled "Claw Gloves Are For Saps!", which is used by Socrates to anger his Evil Knockoff.
  • Took a Level in Badass: The PEZ 6000 is upgraded to 6,000,000 by the duplicate and given both higher power levels and the ability to shoot fire and ice.
  • Translator Buddy: Hobbes acts as this to Calvin a couple of times.
  • Who's on First?:
    Calvin: Forget about it, that's history!
    Hobbes: No, that's math.
  • Wolverine Claws: Lampshaded by Socrates:
    "Freddy Krueger, Wolverine, or Captain Kuro... who inspired you?"
  • "You!" Exclamation: Calvin and Hobbes do this when the duplicate shows his face.
  • You Have Failed Me: The duplicate shoots one of his men for being a "coward".
  • Your Princess Is in Another Castle!: Lampshaded:
    "Can I just say…if you thought that this story was nearly over…it's barely even begun."

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