Katzenjammer
is a The Transformers fanfic by Koi Lungfish.
Following a night of over-energizing at a bar, Starscream wakes up the next morning with a hangover and no idea of what happened besides him drinking. He does, however, have a few pressing questions. How come his wings are so sore? Who is the stranger in his room? And why won't that stupid nyaeeee! sound stop?
Katzenjammer contains the following tropes:
- A.I. Getting High: The fic deals with Starscream, an alien robot, having a hangover as a result of getting drunk on too much energon the previous night.
- Any Last Words?: After Starscream makes up his mind about killing Tidearrow, he tells the latter that his last words had better be worth saying. Since Tidearrow has already been teasing Starscream despite doing so being a bad idea even when he isn't hung over, he quips that Starscream is bad at performing some sexual act he doesn't get to name before Starscream blasts him.
- Bedmate Reveal: Starscream spends the first few minutes after waking up attempting to figure out where the weird nyaeeee! sounds are coming fromnote and how to make said sounds stop. It isn't until he hears somebody next to him groan that Starscream realizes he brought someone back with him while inebriated and they were definitely intimate.(Starscream) snarled, was interrupted by his own malfunction-whine, and asked the stranger, "Who are you?"
"Tidearrow," he said, looked up at him with pale pink optics. - Beer Goggles: According to Tidearrow, Starscream apparently found him attractive enough whilst inebriated to want to take him somewhere private within half an hour of laying sight on him. The next morning, Starscream's main opinion on Tidearrow is that he's an idiot.
- Boom, Headshot!: Starscream quickly tires of Tidearrow poking fun at him post-inebriation and loses his patience when the other bot is unable to stop himself from laughing at the uncontrollable silly sounds he's making. Starscream takes care of the annoyance by shooting Tidearrow in the head, causing his cranium to explode.
- Death Is Gray: Tidearrow's corpse starts slowly fading to grey after Starscream blasts his head off.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Starscream threatens to shoot his one-night stand Tidearrow if he admits in any way that he finds Starscream's involuntary nyaeeee! noises funny. He actually goes through with it after Tidearrow comments that despite all the rumors to the contrary, Starscream is lousy in bed.
- Electronic Speech Impediment: Starscream wakes up from a bout of over-energization to find that his vocal processor is on the fritz and causing him to involuntarily make a nyaeeee! sound every few seconds."I'm Starscream! Nyaeeee! And I'm going to kill everyone within nyaeeee-earshot if that blasted nyaeeee! doesn't stop soon!"
- Killed Mid-Sentence: While Starscream was already going to kill him for making fun of his drinking-induced voice box glitch, Tidearrow's choice of last words results in him getting his head blown up before he can finish talking.Tidearrow: You know, for all that everyone says about you and Megatron, you give lousy - (is shot)
- Offing the Mouth: Upon waking up in Starscream's room, Tidearrow proceeds to be a nuisance by making fun of a very hungover Starscream and laughing at his involuntary Electronic Speech Impediment. While Starscream quickly has enough and decides to kill Tidearrow, he doesn't actually shoot him until Tidearrow comments that contrary to any rumors concerning him and Megatron, Starscream isn't a very good bedmate.
- Too Dumb to Live: Starscream is irritable and short-tempered enough on a good day. Having a hangover and being unable to stop himself from making a goofy sound every few seconds just makes his fuse even shorter. While Tidearrow finding the noise funny is understandable, he decides to mock Starscream about his current lack of coordination and insinuates that his threat to strip Tidearrow's bearings for spare parts is a Double Entendre, while Starscream already has a gun pointed at his face. Tidearrow ends up getting his head blasted to smithereens after he takes Starscream's request for last words as an opportunity to comment that the Air Commander is terrible at performing some unknown sexual act.
- What Did I Do Last Night?: Starscream wakes up at the start of the fic with a hangover, a Decepticon named Tidearrow in his room, his voice box glitching out, and zero recollection of the previous night's events. After talking to the other Decepticon, he eventually pieces together that he coerced Tidearrow into having a one-night stand with him while over-energized.
- Wrong-Name Outburst: After Starscream wakes up with a hangover and a Decepticon named Tidearrow that he doesn't remember, he asks the stranger what he called him while they were intimate the previous night. Tidearrow says the jet called him Megatron, Dreadmoon, and another name he doesn't get the chance to say before Starscream yells at him to shut up.
- Your Head A-Splode: Tidearrow's head blows up after Starscream finally loses his patience with him and shoots him point-blank in the face with a null ray. The explosion is noted by the narration to be a fairly accurate representation of how Starscream's hangover feels.
