Ice Ice Baby
, simply known as IIB, is an unfinished Real-Person Fic started in late 2013 by buckgaybarnes [1] and hamwroteconfessionspart2 [2] on Archive of Our Own. It chronicles an alternate version of the 2013 Sochi Winter Olympics, in which instead of using actual athletes, the four gods (Oprah, Idris Elba, Liam Neeson, and Chiwetel Ejifor) summon their "gayest followers" to compete for their honor. These followers just so happen to be the world's most famous (and most irrelevant) celebrities.
Known for its impeccably large cast, gratuitous use of celebrity cameos, and shameless self-inserting, Ice Ice Baby follows several subplots that are somehow interconnected to an evil scheme orchestrated by the fic's Big Bad, Macklemore. While the Mackle-No-More-League, led by Terrence Howard, plots to take Mackle down, President Obama has at least five crises of faith, Don Cheadle learns to love again, Sandra Bullock falls down steps, lots of people die, many horrible references are made to horrible movies, One Direction cause shenanigans, and ten musicals are put on.
Meanwhile, something looms over their heads that none of them are prepared for.
Yo, VIP, let's kick it.
Ice Ice Baby contains examples of:
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All-Star Cast: Every single character is famous to some extent. - Big Bad: Macklemore, along with his henchmen, Tyler Oakley, Queen Latifah, Perez Hilton, and John Green
- Brother–Sister Incest: The members of One Direction are technically brothers, birthed from Simon Cowell's womb. This makes Larry (Harry and Louis) incestuous, and their baby, Frederick Reign Zayn RBB Niall Horan Stylinson an abomination that ends up being the antichrist.
- But I Can't Be Pregnant!: Liam more-so than Louis' response to his pregnancy. "Where is it even supposed to come out?" indeed.
- Celebrity Paradox: Averted. Each character is self-aware and knows that they (and their surrounding competitors) are famous. Allusions to their past projects abound.
- Clear Their Name: For Dane Dehaan after he is framed for the murder of Paul Mooney.
- Coming-Out Story: For Barack as a bisexual mutant
- The Day of Reckoning
- Evil Plan: Macklemore's nefarious plot to marry all the gays to use them as his slaves.
- Have You Tried Not Being a Monster?: Joe to Barack on at least three different occasions after he comes out as a mutant.
- Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Ben Stiller, down to the pink hair and "love for life".
- Meet Cute: Between Don Cheadle and James Franco, specifically a Crash-Into Hello that ends in Le Petit Prince discourse.
- Not Just a Tournament: On the surface this fic acts as an Olympic RPF, but it is much more...much MUCH more...
- The Show Must Go On: Said word for word when Zach's musical "Cobweb!" is almost cancelled mid-show due to a Macklemore sighting. Luckily, Aaron Tveit, George Blagden, Jitterbug #2, and stripping save the show.
- Working the Same Case: The FreshBI, notable hardass lawyer Roussey J. Voight, and somehow Steve Harvey, all get caught up in the Dane Dehaan trial for the murder of Paul Mooney.
