Fanfic / Human

Believe it or not, this is one of our heroes.

"So we're all in agreement then? This is a stupid plan and we shouldn't do it?"

—Soft Spoken.

Human is a cancelled My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Black Comedy Meta Fic written by DannyJ.

In Equestria's far future, one thousand and five years after the return, a dysfunctional group of argumentative ponies must quest to defeat the most dangerous enemy of Equestria to ever live; the malevolent Lord Second, one of the only known members of the race of elder gods known as the humans, and the ancient cult who worships him, the Brotherhood of Man.

An over-the-top surrealist comedy, with slight serious elements. Expect a steady decline into insanity.

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This fanfic contains examples of:

• Ancient Conspiracy: The Brotherhood of Man have been around since shortly after Second and First originally arrived in Equestria, and have been working against the royals from the shadows for all that time. Though there are only thirteen of them, most of them all hold positions of great importance, their ranks over the years including business owners, prominent artists, sporting celebrities, powerful mages, members of law enforcement, and soldiers in the Equestrian military.
• A God Am I: Second has shades of this, but First really brings the trope home when he ends up ruling the afterlife and creates his own version of Hell based on its portrayal in The Divine Comedy, condemning each of the characters to different levels of Hell based on their supposed sins.
• Ascended Fanboy: Lord Second, a.k.a. Howard, was originally a fan of the show and eventually became a writer for Season 4, and it turns out he was actually the one who came up with the concept for Sliske.
• Big Labyrinthine Building: In Secopolis, while trying to escape Sliske, Second gets lost inside one of the buildings, which is even funnier since he was the one who built it. Promptly lampshaded by the manifestation of his conscience.
• Disney Death: Celestia
• Dramatic Thunder: Amusingly lampshaded in the narration.
  Ancient Tome: Welcome one and all to this, the meeting of the BROTHERHOOD OF MAN!
  Thunder and lightning struck outside to punctuate the sentence, which was weird because it wasn't even cloudy a few minutes ago.
• Empty Shell: Host, the alicorn body that Second created to hold Sliske. Naturally, it was a trap designed to turn Sliske to his side.
• Fantastic Racism: Gold Coin is the manager of the factory at Sweet Apple Acres. One of his employees was a griffon who caught and killed a cockatrice so that his friend could grow back to his full size. After she left, he wanted to ask if griffons made nests, but didn't because he thought it would be "racist or something."
• Felony Misdemeanor:
  Celestia: Somepony check 7S! I swear if they took anything from 7S then we're all—
  Guard: They didn't take it, Your Highness!
  Celestia: Thank goodness. The colonel would kill me if I let somepony steal his secret recipe.
• Foreshadowing: This gem from the first chapter, an odd example which might even be accidental.
  Frosty Morning: The idiot here tried to teleport us out with the stone, through an anti-teleport barrier.
  Ancient Tome: She's right, you are an idiot. I'm surprised both of you are still alive.
  Frosty: Especially considering where we ended up.
  Tome: Where?
  Frosty: Underground.
  Tome: Seriously?!
  Frosty: We had to dig our way back to the surface! And here's the best part; we actually ended up emerging in a graveyard! Some grieving family saw us and went running because they thought it was the zombie apocalypse. That was not fun trying to explain to the authorities.
  • In future chapters, Lord Second leads a zombie army to attack Canterlot.
• Great Offscreen War: The changelings are apparently having some kind of civil war in the background while the events of the story are going on.
• Humanity Ensues: What drives Sliske's Character Development.
• Humans Are Cthulhu: In spades with humanity being revealed to be the unknowing creators of Equestria
  • This is even outright acknowledged by the thought to be dead Lord First who describes the show's creators (referred to as the Pantheon of B) as "elder gods" because their origins lie outside of the world of Equestria and follow different laws (e.g. humans exist on a cellular level while the ponies and other races do not).
  • The Pantheon of B in the setting also share similarities with the Outer Gods (mainly Azathoth) of the Cthulhu Mythos in the sense that they were unaware that they created Equestria and they will be equally unaware when they destroy it, much to Celestia's horror.
• Interesting Situation Duel: The author loves this trope, and implements it in nearly every fight scene.
• Meta Fic: The whole plot revolves around the fact that the events take place in the Big Damn Movie as the writers keep shoehorning in more and more things to pander to the base. Tropes like Dramatic Convenience and Offscreen Teleportation are actual forces that the characters make use of. This doesn't even cover half of it.
• New Powers as the Plot Demands: Second is aware that he is inside the show, and deliberately uses this trope to his full advantage.
  • At one point, he takes advantage of the injury reset after battle, lampshading it and referring to it as a healing factor, which causes him to gain that power afterwards.
  • He also tries to use offscreen teleportation to find his way out of a building, but of course he can't because the story is focusing on him at that moment.
• Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: After getting caught in an exploding building, Second becomes a cowboy zombie elder god for his invasion of Canterlot.
• Outliving One's Offspring: First was Second's son, and Second ended up outliving him by over a thousand years.
• Puppeteer Parasite: Sliske is one of these, Body Surfing throughout the first quarter or so of the story. Soon, though, he makes a Heel–Face Turn and settles on Mystic Chant, a Willing Channeler—who then proceeds to get Sliske himself for a cutie mark. And then the two of them are made out to be the simultaneous bearers of the Element of Magic.
• Rasputinian Death: Most of the god-level characters can survive a ludicrous amount of punishment. Special mention goes to Host, who shrugs off and heals multiple shots from the god-slaying Reaper's Horn. The eventual solution is, of course, More Dakka.
  • Also Nathan, whose battle with Second destroys most of Canterlot before Second kills him by dropping him from the upper atmosphere and breaking open the mountain with his body. And he still survives several minutes after that.
• Refuge in Audacity: Taken to a much more literal level with Thug Lyfe: a zebra turned into a racist caricature by Second for the sole purpose of ensuring the scene doesn't cut to him while he's planning to take down the Pantheon.
• Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Second and First were originally just screwing around with their powers, but after First died, Second took it out on Equestria until he eventually got trapped in stone. After being freed, he picks up right where he left off.
• Sarcastic Clapping: Second makes his entrance like this a couple of times Most notably when he kills Celestia
• Shout-Out: Oh, so, so many shout-outs.
  • In Chapter 1 when Mystic's teacher is telling him about Second and First.
    Miss Chalk Board: One day they just dropped out of the sky and tore down our whole world.
  • And this.
    First: Hey, dragon? Settle a bet. If I cut out part of your heart and put it in myself, would we then be able to feel each other's pain and would we both die if one of us were killed?
    Dragon: What? No! Of course not! Where did you strange creatures get such a notion?
    First: Alright, so Equestrian dragons are not like the ones from that Sean Connery movie. I win the bet again.
  • Also, this bit.
    Celestia (reading off the records for the Royal Archives): Let's see. Vault 4K... the uncensored history books. 9F, the alien spaceship, 4Q, Luna's foalhood drawings, 4Z, Metal Gear, 3D, those damn glasses, 5T, the elder scroll, 2W, that compass that doesn't point north...