Harry Potter humor Fan Fic (see here
) authored by Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands.
After spending two weeks battling Voldemort, Harry returns to Hogwarts only to find, as the title suggests, that it's a nudist colony now. Additionally, the school houses have been abolished and Draco Malfoy is now quite chummy with the ex-Gryffindors. Harry is understandably outraged and immediately takes on the Only Sane Man role as Dumbledore cheerfully explains what happened while Harry was away. As it turns out, the situation arose from a nude protest Hermione made for house-elf rights.
Can be differentiated from Hogwarts Exposed by the fact that it runs on Rule of Funny. The author created two illustrations for the story.
How Hogwarts Became a Nudist Colony provides examples of:
- Bold Inflation: Standard caps-lock key equating to loudness. Lampshaded.Draco: Oh, here comes 'caps-lock Harry'. So predictable.
- Everybody Has Lots of Sex: After Hogwarts goes nudist, it quickly turns into a free-love commune. The sex is not really shown, however, and is mostly just implied.
- Felony Misdemeanor: At one point after going nudist, Hermione tells a lie to Professor McGonagall. When the narrative returns to the present, Dumbledore, Ron, and Draco act surprised that Harry isn't more outraged about Hermione lying to a teacher.Harry did indeed look amazed. "I'm at a bloody school filled with bloody nudists, and my friend telling a lie—the same friend who started this bloody nudist rally for house elf rights—is suppose (sic) to shock and amaze me?! I'm way past SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT right now, thank you very much, straight-Malfoy!"
- Framing Device: Dumbledore tells Harry the story of how... well, Hogwarts became a nudist colony while he was away.
- Freudian Excuse: Voldemort is evil because he's allergic to chocolate.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: Ron and Draco think so when Ginny and Pansy get into a naked (of course) Cat Fight. When Harry asks certain questions about this, Dumbledore assures him that "Mr. Weasley's ardor was fueled strictly by the sight of Miss Parkinson's assets."
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Draco is straight now."Now?" Pansy asked, aghast.
- How We Got Here: Most of the fic is dedicated to explaining why and how Hogwarts went nudist.
- I Know You Know I Know: "Or at least we don't think that he knows what we know about what you know about what he knows."
- I Was Just Joking: Snape put the idea of streaking for house-elf rights in Hermione's head, most emphatically not expecting her to actually do it.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall:Harry: Honestly, sometimes I think my own world is just an imaginary land for Fan Girls who love
redeemed bad boys. - Loophole Abuse: Turns out the school handbook requires robes to be purchased by all students, but says nothing about actually wearing them.
- Only Sane Man: Harry, until the end when he succumbs to the madness. Or sees the light, depending on your interpretation.
- Pass the Popcorn: Draco summons a bowl of popcorn to share with Ron while Dumbledore is explaining the events of the past two weeks to Harry.
- Raging Stiffie: Snape gets one while Hermione is helping him put makeup over his Dark Mark. He tries to hide it with a pillow, but she eventually realizes what's happening and seems very into it too. At the point, a very Squicked Harry interrupts the story and demands that Dumbledore skip this part, which he reluctantly agrees to do. Later on, Snape refers to "makeup" in a way that implies that this incident, um, lead to something.
- Retcon: The story about the night Harry's parents died is changed rather dramatically from the original series.
- Running Gag: The author uses a Framing Device in italics whenever Dumbledore prepares to tell the next part of story - it usually includes the place the events occurred and a precise measurement of how much time has passed since Hermione began the nude rebellion, but always referring to the event with an amusing Unusual Euphemism.The Dungeons. Exactly six hours, thirty-seven minutes, and fifty-four seconds after initiation of project Birthday Suit.The Great Hall. Eight hours, sixteen minutes, forty seconds after Hermione became a Demi Moore fan.Ten hours, forty-three minutes, and twenty-seven seconds since the de-invention of pockets.
- Scenery Censor: A rare literary version in the first chapter where all of the male character are coincidentally carrying broomsticks in front of them, the hut where Hermione is working has just recently built a new fence, and Dumbledore is happily ensconced behind his desk.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: Dumbledore asks if he should switch the focus of his story to what was happening in the third-floor broom closet at the same time as a part that disturbs Harry to think of, which Draco freaks out about. When Ron asks where he was at the time, Draco says "Not with your sister in the broom closet, that's for sure." Likewise, Ron responds by saying he definitely wasn't in the sixth-floor broom closet with Draco's ex.
- That Came Out Wrong: Harry and Voldemort are forced to fight the Final Battle with giant spoons, causing Voldemort to say "Potter, I will spoon you to death if it's the last thing I ever do."
- Teacher/Student Romance: Hermione and Snape have a great deal of sexual tension throughout the story and are implied to have had a sexual encounter of some kind when she took him aside to put makeup over his Dark Mark.
