Enterprise Enquirer
is a Fanfic of Star Trek: Enterprise.
The basic premise is that during a game of Uno, Hoshi becomes sick with a nausea-inducing ailment. It turns out that it's food poisoning from an infected peach, but Trip and Travis decide to play a prank on Malcolm by spreading a rumour that it's actually morning sickness... and Malcolm Reed's the father.
The majority of the fanfic involves Malcolm dealing with everybody thinking he's Hoshi's babydaddy when in actuality, the two have never even had sex.
Enterprise Enquirer contains examples of...
- Alliterative List: The snacks the crew ate. Hoshi gets a peach, Travis has popcorn, Trip has peanuts, and Malcolm has pretzels.
- Alliterative Title: Enterprise Enquirer.
- Artistic License – Biology:
- Hoshi is described as being unaware that she's nauseated. Actually, nausea is defined as a sensation, so to have it, you need to be aware of it.
- Malcolm finds himself wondering if the rumours are true, even though he never slept with Hoshi.
- Butt-Monkey: Malcolm, who gets laughed at while playing Uno and is the butt of Travis and Trip's prank, and Hoshi, who gets sick and then is included in a prank.
- The Captain: Jonathan Archer, the captain of the ship, features briefly.
- Chekhov's Gun: The peach that Hoshi eats at the beginning gives her food poisoning.
- Did They or Didn't They?: People wonder if Malcolm and Hoshi have had sex, but they didn't.
- Does Not Like Spam: Apparently Malcolm Reed doesn't like coffee.
- Fainting: When even Hoshi herself joins in on the prank, Malcolm loses consciousness.
- The Food Poisoning Incident: It turns out the peach Trip gave Hoshi was carrying bacteria that gave Hoshi food poisoning. This makes her sleepy, nauseous, and achy.
- Groin Attack: Malcolm Reed gets tea spilled in his lap.
- In-Series Nickname: Trip calls Malcolm, "Mal".
- The Medic: Phlox, just like in the series, is in charge of taking care of the medical needs of the crew, and he takes care of a sick Hoshi.
- Mistaken for Pregnant: Invoked— Trip and Travis deliberately make people believe Hoshi is pregnant.
- Morning Sickness: Averted, but the rumour spreads that Hoshi has it. She is nauseous and throwing up, but it's not because she's pregnant.
- Must Have Caffeine: The reason Malcolm drank the coffee was to keep him awake.
- Not So Above It All:
- T'Pol, a Vulcan, makes a joke about the replicator being angry.
- Even Captain Archer joins in on the prank.
- The Prankster: Travis and Trip are both pranksters, pranking Malcolm with rumours Hoshi is pregnant by him.
- Ship Tease: With Malcolm and Hoshi, mostly a Gen Fic but it has a bit of Did They or Didn't They?
- Sick Episode: Poor Hoshi spends most of the story in sickbay "puking her guts out".
- Spit Take: Archer spits out his coffee upon hearing that Hoshi might be pregnant.
- The Stoic: T'Pol, as is characteristic of Vulcans, remains stone-faced despite the fic's shenanigans, though she does make one attempt at a joke.
