Drinking Game / The Belgariad

Drinking game for The Belgariad, The Malloreon, and the prequels:

• Go ahead. Take a drink every time someone does something "bleakly". Or is bemused, or has a "sardonic" tone or expression.
• In the Malloreon, "with aplomb" appears enough times to get one drunk on even the mildest of beverages.
• Take a sip whenever Silk says something sarcastic.
• Take a sip whenever Garion says "Why me?"
  • Take two whenever it's someone else.
• Take a sip whenever Polgara makes porridge.
  • Chug your drink if Silk shows disdain for it.
    • Finish your drink if he refers to it as gruel.
• Take a sip whenever an Arend suggests doing something stupid
  • Take two sips if it's something impossible
    • Finish your drink if it actually makes sense.
• Take a sip whenever a character is brainwashed by the enemy.
  • Take two if it's Ce'Nedra.
• Take a sip whenever the Orb is compared to a small child or animal.
  • Take two if it's compared to a woman.
• Take a sip whenever Ye Olde Butchered English is used.
  • Finish your drink if it isn't an Arend.
• Take a sip whenever Ce'Nedra and Garion get into an argument.
  • Chug if Garion wins.
• Take a sip whenever Polgara and Belgarath get into an argument.
  • Chug whenever Belgarath wins.
• Take a sip whenever Liselle and Silk get into an argument.
  • Chug whenever Silk wins.
• Finish your drink if any man ever wins an argument against a woman.
  • And drink an entire bottle of vodka if it's someone other than Belgarath.
• Take a sip whenever Beldin is compared, in appearance, to a troll.
• Take a sip any time a man reacts angrily to Beldin insulting Polgara.
• Take a sip any time the sorcerers crack jokes about the downsides of another sorcerer's favourite animal form.
• Take two sips whenever Barak turns into a bear.
  • Take three if he angsts about it.
• Finish your drink whenever Relg goes on a rant about women.
• Take a sip whenever Zakath appears with his kitties.
  • Take two if he's trying to convince someone to adopt one.
    • Take three if someone does actually adopt a kitten.
• Take a sip whenever someone makes a joke about Hettar's tendency to mass murder Murgos.
  • Take two any time the question occurs of who hates Murgos the most between Hettar, Cho-Hag, Zakath and Urgit.
    • Take three if the question is over which of them hates Taur Urgas the most.
• Take a sip whenever the following exchange or a variant of it takes place:
  "Is he always like this?"
  "Sometimes he's worse."
• Take a sip whenever Ce'Nedra says the words "my baby".
• Take a sip whenever Ce'Nedra communicates with trees.
• Take a sip whenever the voice in Garion's head says something enigmatic.
  • Take two when he's snarky.
  • Take three if he's snarking at someone other than Garion.
• Take a sip whenever Belgarath gets frustrated by the Prophecy's decisions.
  • Take two whenever the Prophecy gets frustrated with Belgarath's stubborness.
• Take a sip whenever Cyradis says something enigmatic
  • Take two whenever someone gets frustrated about it.
• Take a sip when someone tells someone else not to worry or "let it pass."
• Take a sip when someone says "trust me."
  • Take two whenever it's lampshaded.
• Take a sip whenever someone says "One for her/his side".
• Take a sip whenever someone speaks wolf.
  • Take two if that person's ability is a complete shock to others.
• Take a sip whenever someone says "How remarkable!"
• Take a sip any time a dangerous event or possibility results in Zakath contemplating the merits of picking a fight with it.
• Take a sip any time Garion thinks Zakath is behaving like an Arend.
• Take a sip any time a long-term bachelor declares their intention to remain unmarried.
• Take a sip any time Beldin mocks Belgarath's age.
  • Take two if someone other than Beldin does it.
    • Finish the drink if Belgarath manages to do it to Beldin.

---