The internet fighting World War II in an Alternate Universe.
Canadian Army Captain Gordon Smith, a hapless officer placed in charge of the motley crew of of the Allied Special Battlion, a slapdash cast of mercenaries from various corporations and soldiers from various militaries, ranging from lowly US Marines, freelance mercs, and freedom fighters to high-tech corporate troopers, well-equipped mercenaries, special forces, and strange black ops, attempts to avoid getting killed. And frankly, he's not sure of who'll be the first to do kill him - the Ragtag Bunch of Misfits under his commands, or the Axis.
From the sands of Omaha Beach to the frozen wastes of Russia, the Battalion is there to... do shit. And kill Nazis.
It fully embraces, parodies, and plays straight the tropes of war stories, whiplashing between the comic and tragic. Toss in some half-assed deconstruction and reconstruction of the gamut of First Person Shooters clogging the market, and there you have it.
Characters:
Gordon Smith
A Canadian Army Captain Kicked Upstairs to lead CBR, and by extension, the Allied Special Battalion.
- Kicked Upstairs - By accident. The Canadian Government fully believes that the Central Reserve Battalion is a propaganda tool to demonstrate Allied tactics and tech superiority. They're vaguely right.
- Only Sane Man - One of the few with a relatively normal background (middle-class upbringing, father and grandfather and so on served in the military, et cetera), and one of the even fewer who wears standard-issue armor and uses standard issue weapons.
Commander SharpThe other leader of Central Reserve Battalion. Technically second in command to Captain Smith, but is given just as much - if not more - respect. Also of the Canadian Army.
- Beard Of Awesome - Played With. Most people think his beard is cool, but the more regulation-minded keep nagging him to shave it off.
- Glass Cannon - Doesn't wear the higher-rated armor of the rest of the battalion.
- Only Sane Man - Same as Gordon. The only thing unusual is his beard, hand-to-hand combat skills, and the fact he's fifty.
GhostA soldier from Iceland, known for having a really, really, really huge knowledge base of anything pointy and stabby and Medieval. A European Union Kommando.
- Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me - Improbable Weapon User, too. His suit is made to wield a small ballistic shield in conjunction with an assault rifle (in his case an F2000, and he can wield both at once. (Justified, since the suit has advanced targeting systems and he's very good at handling recoil - never mind the fact his F2000's got a custom compensator).
SilenceSigned up with a Japanese PMC after the Imperial Japanese Army reported her boyfriend, who had been in the same PMC, missing in action. Shortly after, her PMC "defected" - taking up a hefty paycheck from The United States after the IJA tried to screw them out of some cash via new laws. Continues to investigate what little evidence is there for her boyfriend's survival.
- Captain Ersatz - Not Kaname from Full Metal Panic!. WE PROMISE.
- Spy Catsuit - Somewhat. The suit she's wearing is heavily form fitting, but it's got add-ons that ruin the figure (such as a ballistic vest and more armor pieces here and there.
Jamie YanezaA member of said Japanese PMC. Serves as the sniper. Unfailingly polite and a former police sniper.
- Captain Ersatz - Looks like one of the Jinrai from NeoTokyo (2014).
SirielFrench-Canadian and Japanese. Wields a high-frequency Katana.
FalconHailing from a Chinese unit that that only accepts refugees from Japan-occupied countries. He's Singaporean.
EagleA Chinese Tank Driver of a Russian T-90. Doesn't talk much, for some reason.
Hellion
FroggyUsed to live in Hawaii until Pearl Harbor, wherein he promptly signed up for the US Marines.
- Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: Uses a hardglass shield and a cut-down autoshotgun to draw away fire. It's not as good as Deskad's, but he's far more mobile.
- Soul Brother - Parodied, he plays it up just to amuse himself and the others around him.
DeskadA Russian mountain of steel, wielding a gigantic metal shield and a minigun. Had been fighting the Chechens and Stalinists until Germany decided to kill all of them to save himself the trouble.
- Husky Russkie - Even out of his suit of armor, he's big.
- Luckily Myshield Will Protect Me: The metal shield he uses is bigger than himself. Several people wonder if it's even necessary, since his armor looks far thicker than the shield.
- Older Than They Look - She looks like she's 12... and is really 19.
Gertrude Elie-Ziegenhagen
A German defector from the Waffen-SS. Carries an old, heavily modified Vickers machine gun... with one hand.
- Stay in the Kitchen - One of the reasons she defected. She was brandied about as proof of "Germany's great equality" among the Aryan race... and was relegated to office and logistics duties.
- Those Wacky Nazis - Several times, a bunch of people note how she acts like a typical Nazi sadist.
Captain Fish
The second in command. Had served in the first World War and was preparing to leave and set up his own mercenary company with people who have served under him, if not for the fact World War II just broke out. Wears a sweet beret.
- Captain Ersatz: Not Big Boss.
Leper
Yet another defector. After a falling out with the Irish government when his funded antics against the British failed, he decided to steal a few Nazi documents and escape to Britain. A good friend of Fish. Extremely pragmatic and old-fashioned, using old-but-reliable weaponry and improvised body armor.
- But Not Too Foreign - Spanish and Irish.
- Diesel Punk - Looks like something straight out of most Alt History World War II works, with steel scrap armor and a heavily modified Garand.
Postman
Another sniper.
Zero
Long story of how he got his name...
Gladiator
Tami
Another Japanese defector. Uses a jetpack and "wings" to fly.
- Captain Ersatz: Not Raging Raven.
Will Hatch
Hiromi
Nick Hasta
King
Yeoman
Silver Knight
Omega
Shark
Yun Lao
HooliganWise-cracking, occasionally odd, scarred... thing who fancies himself a ninja.
Tangent
Chris Lang
MasterVenezuelan soldier.
Holacik
Captain EnglandIf this was a normal unit, he'd be Section Eighted immediately. But since Rumbles is far from normal...
DazAn Army grunt who had served with Fish for a long time, and the only reason why he hasn't been placed on shit patrol for the rest of his service. Has a Hair-Trigger Temper easily set off - especially by US Marines, who he hates with a passion. Except for a grand total of one: Redrum.
RedrumEager Marine recruit. Which usually means he's a Blood Knight. Doesn't help things when he's packing armor plates and two massive pistols.
- Shoulders of Doom
- Jerkass
- Cluster F-Bomb - Would make Revy cringe.
ClefCommander of an apparently American detachment assigned to Rumbles, designed for capturing - or, if not possible, destroying and retrieving the leftovers - Axis tech. Smiles a lot, occasionally tells scary, bizarre stories, a great negotiator, fond of Batman Gambits and Indy Ploys, and a master at playing the ukulele.
GearsUnder command of Clef's group. Apparently emotionless. Eloquent... sometimes.
- Extreme Doormat - Not to the extent of Glenstone or Ceres, though, but still present.
- Terse Talker
- Author Avatar - Jack, the complete dipshit. He'd make Private Pyle proud.
- Affably Evil - Hitler, at first.
- Alternate History - The technology level is akin to Metal Gear, with modern day vehicles and weapons used alongside soldiers in full body armor rating at Class V and beyond, and there are mechs. albeit crappy.
- Nuclear power is taboo, due to a lot of deaths and accidents early in nuclear discovery, along with Einstein warning the League of Nations about its power. Even then, nuclear weapons are dismissed as a far-away fantasy.
- The Japanese military uprising went one step further and overthrew the emperor himself, causing a rift in the Japanese and causing a LOT of deserters to the Allied side.
- Trotsky, anticipating Stalin building a personal security force to overthrow him, built one of his own, causing a split in Soviet Russia that rages on throughout the war. One side is more or less today's Russian Federation, but with their vehicles and weapons with a higher tech upgrade, and the other is essentially 1980s Soviet Russia.
- The League of Nations never disbanded, taking the UN's role we have today.
- The 1940s has today's social and political climate... well, except for the Axis powers. Thus, you had people protesting the war, hippies, and FDR totally not being Obama, anime from Japan and so on.
- Operation: Barbarossa is a success, due to the warring Soviet factions.
- The Axis works together far more often, with Japanese units fighting in the European theatre, and Nazi units in the Pacific.
- Many famous people were born earlier. There's a reference to Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley on tour for the war effort.
- Armor Is Useless - Subverted, averted, and played straight. Most Allied armor systems are similar to standard armor today (read: shit), but the armor the ASB operatives wear is, at worst, Class V. The highest is a Mini-Mecha.
- Black and Nerdy - The Hunter and Froggy.
- British Stuffiness - Captain England... pretends to be. He's just really, really weird.
- Captain Ersatz - All of ASB wears armor inspired by other games. Example: Primetime wears Octocamo, SILENCE wears FROG Trooper gear, and so on.
- A few Rumblers are actual Captain Ersatzes. Example: SILENCE is Kaname Chidori.
- T 51 R is Gretel. She eventually dumps the dress, though, for some combat armor.
- Not part of the Battalion, but Master Chief Petty Officer John Spartan of the US Navy often ruins the day for Axis troopers. Usually, a bounty hunter thought of as male and with an arm-mounted laser weapon and a crowbar-wielding man in a combat suit originally meant for scientists operating in hazardous environments tag along with him.
- Special Containment/Procurement Mobile Task Force. No one really knows what exactly they are or who they belong to, and they're not exactly pleased at the fact they're out in the open instead of waging black ops war. Lead by some weird guy who keeps grinning, and one of their more famous operatives is a guy codenamed Baker-Able-76, who's overly fond of blades and chainsaws.
- Tango Victor Tango.
- Galaxy Corps.
- Gaia. Hated by Four-Leaf, SA... actually, pretty much hated by most people, since they're often viewed as having sloppy training and poor rip-offs of Four-Leaf tech and tactics.
- SA Inc. Membership is often regarded as hideously expensive, but worth it.
- Cool Airship - Operation Sea Dragon sees the usage of this, which also can launch aircraft. Hitler wanted bomber zeppelins to raid America, but, you know war as it is, they could only use hydrogen - and look what happened to the Hindenberg. Not here.
- Cool Boat - The Japanese PMC uses sleek boats that wouldn't look out of place on a 90's version of an alien ship.
- Gatling Good - Today's "miniguns", and so much more. There are portable versions - but barely. Only the strongest troopers are picked to carry such guns, and even then, they're usually wearing powered armor that somewhat helps with the load and recoil. Deskad and King are the only ones who carry them in Rumbles.
- Deadpan Snarker - Sergeant Alan, Agent Yoric, Bingo, and Siriel.
- Defector from Decadence - The Japanese PMC defectors. Almost all of the Allied soldiers believe they defected because they disagreed with the Right-Wing government. They didn't. Hardcore right-wingers don't pay as well as FDR did.
- Gertrude, also The Mole (for the Allies, but she's in a combat role.) Defected because she was a lesbian... and a pedophile.
- "Smokey"'s a somewhat less bizarre example: he's defecting because he was paid to do so, and has a feeling Hitler's going to run Germany into the ground.
- Elegant Gothic Lolita - Played straight and mocked. Agent T 51 R (who looks like Black Lagoon's Gretel), who had spent the last days in the area watching Nazi movements, had her last clothes ruined by a bombing. It's about as practical as being naked in the field, and attracts snipers and often gets snagged on something. She eventually gets a proper combat suit, but it makes her look like even more of a midget.
- Falling into the Cockpit - Jack, The Master, Solstace, and Doom get hastily picked to counter a five specially built Axis mechs tearing Soviet tank battalions to shreds. (The only reason why they haven't been shot down is because the portion of the Army lacks sufficient firepower or back-up to damage them.) (Yes, they do play counterpart to the NGE expies. Scrappy versus Scrappy fights ensue, and an emo Japanese pilot and Jack keep getting tossed out of the cockpit as a Running Gag.
- Also mocked by Jack, who wonders if the Axis are trying to fuck up their superweapons by letting emos and tsunderes in charge of them.
- French Jerk - Siriel, if you keep annoying him. (i.e.: if your name is "Jack")
- Haunted Castle - Castle Wolfenstein, which isn't really haunted. It does, however, have nasty biological experiments that would make Mengele curl up in a corner and send Unit 731 screaming from the room.
- Hair-Trigger Temper - Daz, an Army grunt kicked out of Delta Force for his massive aggression and temper, will go off on someone for just about anything. Especially around Marines, who he hates so very much.
- Paradox has one, but it's rather well hidden.
- Hold the Line - The second Battle of the Bulge (which is basically a repeat of this reality's Bulge battle, except the Germans and Japanese are throwing everything they have at the Allies - trust me, it's a lot).
- Humongous Mecha - Handled realistically. The King Oni and Riese units are primarily meant for psychological warfare (seriously, seeing a hulking mountain of steel bristling with cannons and rocket pods headed toward your already-battered squad is terrifying). It's Awesome, yet Impractical - They're capable of holding their own against mechanized armor, but they're huge targets, their legs are weak (and are ultimately their doing-in), they're vulnerable to hi-jacking, they're slow (compared to an Abrams or Scorpion tank or T-90), and they're exorbitantly expensive. Even Hitler who loved the ridiculous Maus tanks (and so on) hates the designs and cost. And they're not really any better than Patlabor mecha, except for the Metal Gear REX ersatz.
- Hollywood Tactics - With predictable results. Usually only performed by the Japanese, who have done such things historically, and the Russians, who did use human-wave tactics.
- Husky Russkie - Deskad, one of the minigun carrying, Powered Armor-equipped Rumblers, who has no clue why everyone suddenly starts putting on bad accents and imitations of Stalin whenever he talks to them. He's built decently, but not like an iron shithouse.
- Jerkass - Captain England loves trolling many people they come across. Borders on stupidity when England frequently taunts Sharp about his age when Sharp can easily throw him out of the unit with very little legal repercussions.
- Daz, with his hair trigger temper and hatred of everything.
- Kill It with Fire - Napalm (a super-refined version, better than the not-napalm of this reality's Vietnam) and flamethrowers are often in use, as are fuel-air strikes.
- Magnetic Hero - Averted. People that Rumbles comes across willing to join the Allies go to other battalions or divisions due to Rumbles' status as the Butt-Monkey.
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Moral Event Horizon - A few of the Nazis and Japanese. Which, you know, has basis in Real Life. - More Dakka - Heavily employed by Spac-Bat mercs and Four-Leaf TG Division mercs. On the Axis side, their evil counterparts happens to be the Gensokyo Battalion (a misonomer - they used to specialize in deception - hence their name), who recently adapted the "danmaku" tactic.
- Obviously a Spy - Jack later becomes a mole in the Axis coalition force on Wolfenstein. He's supposed to be a translator from the Philippines who's willingly working for the Japanese, but he doesn't know a lick of tagalog, is openly condescending to the Japanese, speaks with an American accent, and is thoroughly incompetent. The Axis are pretty sure he's not the mole - he's too obvious.
- Rag Tag Bunch Of Misfits - Half of the Central Battalion Reserve are mercenaries of varying companies (some are even simple free-lancers who happened to get hired by some Allied nation), the other half are Army and Marine grunts chosen by lottery (no, I'm not kidding) to test random gear in battle (said lottery greatly annoying officers when they find that, instead of special forces, they get normal grunts).
- Schizo Tech - Think of it as a mish-mash of the 2020s and The '90s. Only PM Cs and CBR have high-tech stuff that wouldn't be out of place in Metal Gear or a Ghost Recon game, but the average US Army grunt is as decked out as a soldier in Gulf War Two, aside from somewhat better armor and Land Warrior that actually works. Cybernetic implants are present, but only the best can afford effective combat replacements and they're very unwieldy otherwise. What few satellites are up tend to be intercepted by lasers, or have been destroyed (the Nazis threw up an orbital denial debris field), and both sides constantly run UA Vs and spy planes to make up for it. You also have laser weaponry, but few and far between - Primetime carries a laser rifle straight out of a Star Wars film and an automated turret. It's Awesome, but Impractical.
- Screaming Warrior - The Russians and Japanese armies. See what happens when they clash. CBR does it occasionally, but Jay usually ruins the moment by laughing about how stupid they sound.
- Shout-Out - Where do I start?
- Soul Brotha - Played With in the case of Froggy - he's normal, but acts like one to annoy overly PC idiots.
- Space Marine - Jack tries to get ASB to change their name to "Spess Mehrens", and gives a terrible speech trying to copy the infamous meme.
- Spy Catsuit - The Japanese defectors (yet another PMC) use this as their standard uniform, both genders. They justify it, saying it's easier to move about and there's less chance of getting snagged on something. And lampshaded when SILENCE tells the rest of Rumbles that squeeing schoolgirls and lonely schoolboys watched them practice whenever they trained outside their complex.
- Sergeant Rock - Watcher, Smith, Noble, Fish, and Tanith.
- Powered Armor - Only King and Deskad wear this - and it's still extremely awkward and uncomfortable to wear.
- Tank Goodness - Eagle drives a souped-up T-90.
- This Is Reality - A few "episodes" focus on non-ASB characters, who mock just how video gamey ASB is.
- Gordon Smith, Sharp, and a few of the US Army and Marine personnel, refuse to use the hi-tech gear the rest of the battalion uses
- Token Mini-Moe - T 51 R. Older Than They Look, and Rumbles catches a lot of flak for this (and she's also the butt of a lot of jokes).
- Tsundere - Piss off Paradox, and you'll regret it.
- The German Riese Pilot's last name is Soryuu. Make of that what you will.
- One of the Vichy France attaches is named Louise, and acts much the same.
- World War I - Equivalent to The Vietnam War here. Still ended badly for the Germans, otherwise, we wouldn't have much of a plot, now would we?
